The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (61 page)

     It is clear then now to every one. It is clear then now to every one that every one who ever was knowing this one always was hearing, seeing, feeling all the repeating in this one, always then the important thing was understanding the being always repeating, realising denying as the real being in this one.
     As I was saying then I knew all the repeating in this one, a little from my own listening to this one, mostly from other people's descriptions of this one. I knew then all the repeating in this one, it was interesting to know the repeating in this one, all repeating of any one is interesting to any one having loving repeating being, having loving repeating being to completed understanding as being. Always then as I was saying repeating is interesting to me, always then I was interested in all the repeating of this one, it was interesting but it was not then a problem to me, this one then was interesting, not so very interesting to me, and then as I was saying I met this one and then I began and then all the repeating in this one had meaning. This one then was to me at the end of looking the complete thing to me that every one sometime is to me. This one was then a complete one to me, this one was then a solemn load inside me. This is now then a little more description of my knowing this one as a complete one and then of my telling of my knowing to this one.
     As I was saying every one always is repeating the whole of them. As I was saying sometimes it takes many years of hearing the repeating in one before the whole being is clear to the understanding of one who has it as being to love repeating, to know that always every one is repeating the whole of them, to have it that sometime each one is a whole one to that one. These then the ways I have been describing are some of the ways then that such a one, one who has it as being to love repeating, to know that always every one is repeating the whole of them, comes to a completed understanding of every one.
     Sometimes then as I was saying it takes many years of hearing and seeing and feeling the repeating in some one before the whole being of that one is clear to my understanding. This then was not the way of my learning this last one as a whole being. As I was saying I knew all the repeating in this one, every one who knew this one knew all the repeating in this one. I had never felt it a puzzle in this one, I had not had that kind of interest in this one and then it happened that I saw this one and then it happened that I looked hard at this one and then this one was a whole one to me, this one was a depressing solemn load inside me, then I had this one inside me and this one was to me inside me a being having damnation as the way of being and this then was a new thing in me, damnation had not had before any meaning for me, this one was not an evil one, a wicked one, but a damned one to me, this one was then a whole one inside me. This is now to be a little more description of this one in me and of my telling it to this one.
     This one was then a whole one to me, this one was then a solemn saddening load inside me, not from evil or conviction or from willing or from reasoning but from asking and gripping in the same breath of being and both being complete expression of a being and so neither really having meaning to such a being not making really in side such a one any struggling.
     This one then after this one hard looking was a whole one to me, was a whole solemn load inside me. This one then always was repeating to me the whole being in that one, the resulting to such a one of suffering damning. This one was then a whole one to me. This one was then a whole one inside me, was as a solemn load inside me.
     Each one is then sometime a whole one to me, this one was then a whole one in me was a solemn saddening load inside me, gave to me the first meaning there ever was to me of the meaning of damning in all human religion, was a very serious solemn load inside me, and a ways it was there inside me this one as a whole one in me and always this one was repeating to me the whole being, the whole history of this one and a ways it had meaning and always then it was to me the compelling of me to understand the reason there is in damning, this denying and never having any realisation of anything really existing was to me a state of really suffering damning. This one then was as I was saying a whole one then inside me, a whole one to me after the ending of that looking, a serious solemn saddening whole one in me, and always more and more I was seeing, hearing, feeling this one repeating the whole being there was in this one and always then it was to my completed understanding the completed spirit of suffering damning, that was then the whole of this one.
     Always then this one was a whole one to me. As I was saying each one sometimes is a whole one to me, sometime one always is a whole one to me, I am never losing the feeling of such a one being a whole one inside me. This one always was a whole one to me, always then I was seeing, feeling, hearing all the repeating coming out of this one, always then this one was a solemn load inside me.
     As I was saying there are many that I know and I know it, there are many that I know and they know it, they are many that I know and I tell it. There are many that I know and I know it, there are many that I know and they know it, there are many that I know and I tell it, I know it and I tell it, they repeat it and I see it, and I hear it and I feel it and I tell it. Always then there are many that I know and to some of them I tell it. This one was then a whole one to me, this one then was a whole one inside me, I know it and I tell it, I knew it and I told it and this is now some description of my then telling of it.
     This one was then a whole one inside me. Always sometime each one is a whole one to me, always sometime I tell it to some one the whole one each one sometime is to me. Always then sometime each one is a whole one to me, each one then sometime is a complete one to me, a complete one there inside me, always sometime then I have each one as a whole one always sometime then I tell it to some one, very often I tell it to that one the one that is a whole one then in me.
     There are many that I know and always more and more I know it. They are all of them sometime a whole one to me. More and more I understand it. They are all of them repeating and I hear it, they are all of them always repeating the whole of them and always more and more I know them. There are many that I know and they know it. They are all of them always repeating the whole of them and I understand it. They are, each one of them sometime a whole one to me, they are all of them, always then, repeating the whole of them and I know it and I understand it. I know it and I tell it. Always sometime I tell it. Mostly always when it is complete in me I tell it.
     There are many that I know and I know it. They are repeating always the whole of them and I understand it. They are, each one then, sometime a whole one to me. I know it and I tell it. Mostly, when it is complete in me, I tell it.
     Mostly, then when it is entirely, completely in me, the whole of them, and I know it, then I tell it. Mostly always I tell it, mostly I tell it to that one who is a whole one then inside me, sometimes I just tell it to any one who will listen to it. Mostly then when any one is entirely completely in me, mostly always then I tell it.
     This is now then a little a description of my telling of it. As I was saying mostly always when some one is entirely and completely a whole one to me, I know it and I tell it, sometimes I tell it to that one that is then entirely and completely a whole one inside me to me, sometimes I tell it to any one who will listen to it.
     Always then I tell it, always then when any one is completely a whole one to me, mostly always then I tell it. This is now some description of one time of telling it, telling it to that one who just was then a whole one to me.
     As I was saying each one is sometime a whole one to me, is a whole one inside me, each one then sometimes gives to me a sense of being filled up inside me with that one, then a whole one inside me. Each one then is sometime a whole one in me, I know it and I tell it, I am filled up then with that whole one inside me and I tell it and then it settles down inside me to always hearing it repeating in such a one, filling in and changing and being a completer and completer history of that one and always then it is quietly there in me and I like it. Sometimes it is disturbed in me and again completely fills me and then again it settles down in me. Then again it is quietly there in me and I always like it. Always I am then learning more and more the history of that one, always more and more there is then meaning in all the repeating coming out of that one but there is then not so much need in me to tell it, it is then steady pleasant, sometimes exciting, learning in me and always I enjoy it but then it is quieter inside me and I am then not all filled up with it and so then though always often I tell it, all of it, pieces of it to any one who will listen to it, I am not then all filled up with it and I can then really be without really needing to tell it, I can then get along without really then ever telling it.
     As I was saying each one sometime is a whole one to me. As I was saying mostly when it is complete to me and I first really know it, really and completely and filled up with it then I tell it. Mostly then I have to tell it. Mostly then I am filled up with it and it comes out of me then as telling it, sometimes to the one that is then a whole one to me, sometimes then to any one who will then listen to me.
     There are many then that I know and sometime each one comes to be a whole one in me, sometime then each one then a whole one inside me fills me, sometime then I know that one and sometime then I tell it the whole one that I then know that I know as a whole one as a whole being then. Always then more and more I know that one, always then more and more I hear and feel and see all the repeating coming out of them, always I am telling everything, more and more I tell everything, always I tell it when I come completely to know it the being in one, when I come completely to understand, when they are a whole one inside me and I am filled up with it.
     Mostly always when it is once complete in me I tell it, always often, more and more I know it, always often, I very often tell it, always when it is once complete in me I have to tell it, I am filled up then with it, telling it is then always in me, always then I tell it. This is then a little a description of one telling of it.
     There are many that I know and always sometime I tell it. Sometimes I slowly tell it, sometimes I tell it and then more and more I tell it, sometimes I tell it and then slowly I keep on with telling of it. There are many ways of telling it. Sometimes I tell it when I am still puzzling with it. Mostly always when it is complete in me I tell it. Mostly then I learn more and more the meaning in it, often then slowly I tell more and more of it. Mostly when it is complete in me once and I am all filled up with that one then I have to tell it. Sometimes then I tell it to any one who will listen to it. Sometimes then I tell it to the one who is then a whole one inside me, I am filled with that one then as a whole one and to that one then I tell it.
     As I was saying this one that I have been just describing was a whole one to me, a serious solemn filling inside me. This one was then complete in me, this one was then a serious solemn filling in me, always then this one was in me suffering damning from the being in this one and this was a new realisation in me and so then this was complete then inside me, this one then being a whole one inside me, this one then completely filling rue inside me, I knew it then and I told it then, I told it then to this one.
     As I was saying then each one sometime is a whole one to me, each one sometime is a whole one inside me. Mostly then I tell it to some one. This one then came after one hard looking to be a whole one inside me. I was then all filled up with this one. I told it then to this one the whole meaning of all the being in this one.
     As I was saying I know many women and many men. I know many of them as babies, as children as growing men and growing women as grown men and grown women as growing old men and growing old women, as grown old men and grown old women, and every kind of being they ever have in them. I know many then of them very many of them and sometime each one is a whole one to me, each one is a whole one inside me, each one then has real meaning for me. Sometime then each one is a whole one to me, sometime then each one of them has a whole history of each one for me. Everything then they do in living is clear then to me, their living, loving, eating, pleasing, smoking, scolding, drinking, dancing, thinking, working, walking, talking, laughing, sleeping, suffering, joking, everything in them. There are whole beings then, they are themselves inside them to me. They are then, each one, a whole one inside me. Repeating of the whole of them always coming out of each one of them makes a history always of each one of them always to me.
     There are many then that I know, and I know it, I know it and mostly always sometime I tell it. Each one sometimes is a whole one to me, always sometime I know it, mostly always sometime I tell it. Mostly when I am full up with it I tell it, I know it, I am full up with it and I tell it.
     This one then the one I have been just describing was a whole one inside me when the meaning of the being in this one was a clear meaning to me, I was full up then with this one inside me, I was full up then with this one, I would tell it then to almost any one who would listen, I would tell it then to this one the one that was a whole one then inside me, the one then filling me all up inside me. I knew then the meaning in this one, the meaning in this one was a complete thing and then I told it to this one.
     There are many that I know and I know it, there are many that I know and there are some of them to whom I tell it that I know it. This then was one of them then. I knew it and I told. This one was then a whole one to me and I told it then to this one.
     Mostly always then each one I am ever knowing sometime, sometimes is a whole one to me, mostly always then when I know it, the whole being of some one, I tell it and sometimes I tell it to that one. Mostly then when I am filled up with it, the whole meaning of the whole being of some one, I tell it. I know it and I tell it. I am filled full then with it and I tell it. Mostly always then I tell it when I am filled up full with the whole meaning of the whole being of some one, I know it and I have to tell it, often I tell it to any one who will listen to it, sometimes I have to tell it to that one whose whole being then having meaning as a whole one to me is then filling me full up with it.