The Deeper We Get (18 page)

“Don’t bother, you can patch me up when we’re done.”

“You aren’t done?”

“Nope.”

“How much more of this is there?”

“Vin?” I turned to him.

“Let’s just go another round
. We should ease her into it don’t you think?”

I nodded and turned back. “Are you
okay with this?”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s just hard seeing you covered in blood. The huge smile on your face on the other hand is the best ever.”

I pulled her in for a quick kiss before popping my mouth guard back in and standing up. Ian rang the bell, and we went at each other again. The final round we did more laughing and trash talking than actual fighting.

“Come at me bro
,” I joked, holding my arms out.

“Seriously?” Vin laughed. He threw a halfhearted punch that barely felt like anything when it connected with my jaw.

“This is ridiculous, you both are candy asses,” Ian called from the side.

“Shut it
,” Vin yelled.

“Make me
,” he countered.

“What are you like five?”

“Maybe.” Ian laughed.

That pretty much signaled the end of the round,
so I went over to join Scarlet. “So, was it everything you thought it would be?”

“I don’t know what I was expecting to be honest with you.” She shrugged. “Do you feel better?”

“I really do. I needed this more than I thought. Can you understand why?”

“I think so. I can see how controlled it is most of the time. And how safe you both are.”

“I want you to know me,” I whispered. “Even the scary parts.”

“I do know you.” She smiled and wiped away the blood on my face with a wet paper towel.

She did know me, and she accepted me for who I was. I didn’t ever have to hide from her.

“God, I love you.” I pulled her in for a kiss.

“Eeew, you’re all sweaty and bloody.” She tried to pull away.

“So?” I leaned in and kissed her. Her hands came up my sides to hold onto my face.

“Get a room,” Vin yelled.

“We just might.” I flipped him the finger.

“No, we won’t.” Scarlet giggled.

“Dinner?” Ian asked.

“You know it,” Vin called as he walked back to the locker room.

“What do you think?” I asked her.

“I’m game. Go on and change, I’ll meet you when you’re done.” She kissed me and stepped back through the ropes.

Instead of going out, we decided to meet back at my place and order pizza. Vin was picking up Sierra on his way
, and Ian was bringing the flavor of the week. Scarlet and I hurried back and got the pizza ordered so I could grab a quick shower before everyone came over. Sometimes having a big house on the beach had its perks, like having enough room to have a bunch of friends over on a whim.

“Hey.” Scarlet was sitting cross-legged on my bed when I came out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist.

“What’s up?” I grabbed some clothes from my dresser.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh huh. I think I want to move in.”

This was news I could get excited about. “You do huh?”

“Yep, I do.”

“What does Frank say about it?” I asked.

“I haven’t talked to him about it
,” she groaned.

“Do you think he’ll be
okay with it?”

“Not sure. Probably. Seeing as I sleep over more than I don’t. It wouldn’t really be that huge of a change. I would just have all my stuff over here instead of there.”

I nodded and continued getting dressed. “Are you convincing yourself or practicing what you’ll be saying to Frank?”

“My mind is set. I’m twenty years old, if I want to move in with my boyfriend I can do it. I don't need his permission.”

“True. What made you change your mind? You were pretty set on not living together not that long ago.”

“The past couple of weeks have been amazing. I just realized I’m happier with you all the time. I don't want to wait, I want to move in and make a life here with you.”

“I want that too. More than anything. So, should I get the guest bedroom all set up for you?” I arched a brow.

“Funny.” She shook her head. “I know I said that before, but it was mostly because the idea of us living together freaked me the hell out.”

“You aren’t scared anymore?” I walked toward where she was sitting.

“I’m still scared, just in the best way. The way that gives me butterflies in my stomach and makes me feel like I’ll die if you don’t kiss me.”

I stepped between her legs and put my hand at the back of her neck, forcing her to look up at me. “I never want you to lose that feeling,” I said softly, lowering my mouth to hers. “I can't always promise rainbows and glitter, but I can promise you that no one will ever love you as much as I do.”

“That’s what I always wanted. That kind of love that consumes you.”

“You consume me. You’re in every part of me now. I can't be without you.” I kissed her again. “We better stop this, everyone will be here soon.” I stepped back.

She looked delicious, her lips swollen from kisses and her hair tousled from having laid on the bed. I wanted nothing more than to peel the clothes from her body and lick every inch of her.

As if on cue the doorbell rang. I groaned and grabbed the shirt I had laid out and threw it on. “Guess we should go downstairs.”

“What if we pretend we’re not home?” She giggled.

“Scarlet, I’m surprised at you.” I shook my finger at her.

“I just really want you right now.” She pouted.

“You can have me, all night long, after our friends leave. Get your booty up and let’s go.” I threw my towel at her.

The
doorbell rang again as I walked down the stairs. “Keep your pants on, I’m coming,” I yelled.

“Maybe it’s you who needs the pants
,” Ian called back with a laugh.

I opened the door to the small group and laughed. “Look, my pants are firmly in place. Come on in.”

Scarlet was just coming down the stairs when I shut the door. “Hey guys.”

Ian had brought the chick he was currently sleeping with
and she was pretty. Totally typical of the kind of girl he went for—really big boobs and blond hair—not that there was anything wrong with that.

Sierra and Scarlet broke off from the group and ended up in the kitchen getting a salad and some bread together for when the pizzas came.

“Carrie? Do you want to come in with us?” she called.

“No thanks.” Carrie pressed herself even closer against Ian’s side. I shot him a look
, and he just grinned.

The rest of the night was great
. We ate too much pizza and laughed our asses off. Vin and Ian were really good friends, and I knew I was extremely lucky. Right before they were all leaving for the night Scarlet told them she had some news.

“Wait, let me guess. You're pregnant?” Ian blurted out.

“What? No, I’m not pregnant.” She slapped his arm. “I’m moving in here with Chad.” She linked her arm through mine and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“Don’t you already live here?” Ian asked.

“Pretty much.” I laughed. “We’re just making it official and moving in her stuff.”

“That’s awesome you guys.” Sierra smiled.

“I’ve always said that you are good for each other. You balance the other out.” Vin grinned. “Let me know if you need help moving everything.”

“Thanks man.” I shook his hand.

After we said our goodbyes and the house was once again quiet, I sighed in contentment. Maybe my life didn’t have to be terrible after all. Scarlet had breathed new life into me, she had made me a better person, a better man.

The trial was fast approaching
, I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Tom again. Becca and Ruth were due to be coming in any day now for the trial. Some days I didn’t feel like I had any control over my life. Like it was being run by circumstance instead of direction of any sort.

Being back at work helped, I could just work
and not think about anything else. Frank had given me extra hours since I didn’t have school to worry about. Things were a bit tense with him since Scarlet had moved in. He wasn’t exactly a huge fan of our decision, but he didn’t tell her she couldn’t do it.

I had another meeting with Greg after work, and I had to pick up Scarlet from the house on the way. Today was the day she went over her testimony with Ashley.

“Chad?” Frank called when he walked into the garage.

“Back here.” I raised a hand so he could find me amidst the shelves and boxes. I was looking for a specific part in the storage area.

“Today is testimony day for Scarlet right?” he asked.

“Right.” I nodded.

“I’m worried about her. Having to relive it all.”

“I am too, but it’s all part of this. They want her as prepared as they can get her before the trial because the defense attorneys are not going to take it easy on either of us.”

He sat down on a stool and raked a hand through his dark hair. “When everything happened with my brother, I could shield her from the worst of it. She was so young and fragile. I may not be her biological father, but she’s my daughter in every sense of the word. I worry about what this will do to her.”

Frank never really showed emotion unless Scarlet was involved. She was his weakness, the tender spot in his heart.

“I worry too. I don't know what they’re going to ask her. She and I have not talked about a lot of the specifics about what happened before I got to the apartment.”

“She’s not spoken to me about it either.” He sighed. “I worry that she’s keeping it inside.”

“Children of abuse tend to do that. I’ve done it a lot in my life. Sometimes it’s easier to cope with it if you don’t have to say it. You can put it in a box in your brain and pretend like the box doesn't exist. I don’t know if that’s what she’s doing, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it was.”

“The two of you together in theory sounds like a terrible idea.”

I started to speak but he held up his hand.

“On paper, two abuse survivors shouldn’t work. But I see you together
, and I can see how much you love her. It wasn’t easy for me to let her move in with you. I know she’s an adult now and capable of making her own decisions, but it was still hard seeing her pack up her things and watching her leave with you.” His voice cracked.

“Frank.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “I love her so damn much.”

“I know you do,” he said softly. “It makes it easier for me knowing you’ll take care of her the way she should be.”

“I know things won't always be easy between Scarlet and
me. But I’ve learned so much about myself in the last few months. There are things I'm willing to live without, and Scarlet isn’t one of them. I can never go back to being without her. So, in my head I've made adjustments to what is acceptable behavior. I’m not used to answering to anyone about things. Even with Ruth and Sam I never really had to answer to them. They expected me to act a certain way, so I did. I know that sounds bad, like they didn’t love me, but that’s not true at all. When they took me in they told me there were things they would tolerate and things they wouldn’t. I made sure to stay far away from the things they wouldn’t tolerate.” I stopped for a moment.

“I’ll never understand what you both have been through in your lives. I can’t fathom it, that a parent would do such terrible things.”

“Frank you are a good man, a better man than your brother. You stepped in and took in a ten-year-old little girl and raised her to be this amazing woman. I’ve seen people turn their backs when they should step forward. You didn’t do that.”

“I should have done more. When I suspected things weren’t right I should have said something right away.”

“Don’t do that to yourself. You can’t do anything about the past now. Besides, from everything she’s told me about it, you could have never known. I was really good at hiding things when I was younger. You did everything for her. You changed her world.”

“I didn’t do enough.” His voice was barely a whisper. I could see the emotion he was holding in.

“No. You were and are everything to her. You saved her from more pain than she could have handled.”

“He was my brother. I thought I knew him.”

“People change.”

“They do. After Scarlet’s mom died he was so different, really distant from the rest of us. They were so isolated, that’s why I didn't see things for what they were.”

“You have to let it go.” I put a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can. I’m
still so angry at him.”

I knew that feeling. I was still carrying around so much hate for Tom. I wasn’t sure I could ever let it all go. He had done too much to me and to Scarlet.

“It’s okay to be angry for a while. But anger can turn into hate before you know it, and hate is like a cancer that will eat you up from the inside out.”

“Do you take your own advice with this?”
he countered.

“It’s too soon with me. Things are too fresh. I hope I’ll eventually get there.”

His expression shifted, and I could tell this conversation was over now. “You’re a good guy Chad. I know I can trust you with her.” He gave me a slap on the back and left me alone with the boxes.

I drove home on autopilot after work, a lot on my mind about the upcoming meeting. When I got inside Scarlet was waiting in the kitchen, a blank look on her face as she stared out the window.

“You okay?” I dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

“Yeah, just thinking.” She smiled up at me.

“I talked with Frank today.”

“You did? About what?”

“You. The past. He really opened up to me about all of it. It took me by complete surprise.”

“I can imagine. He’s not usually one for talking about his feelings.”

“I think he still carries around a lot of guilt over what happened to you.”

“He did so much for me
,” she said quietly.

“I know he did honey. Frank’s a man, and men hate when women get hurt. He hates what happened all those years ago. It’s even worse because it was his brother.”

“I wish that he would talk to me about all of this.”

“I think he will, in his own time. All of the trial stuff brought all of this back up to the
surface for him.”

“I’m sure you’re right. It’s brought all of my past up for me as well. I didn’t really have to do a lot last time because I was so young and they only wanted to protect me. The evidence was there and my dad admitted to it. There was no denying what had happened.”

“This time will be different,” I said carefully.

“Yes, it will. I’m ready for it.”

“We should probably go, they’re expecting us.” I squeezed her shoulder.

The drive didn’t take long,
and neither of us spoke much, both lost in thought. I hoped we would make it through all of this unscathed.

Greg and Ashley were waiting in the front office for us.

“Scarlet you can do this alone or Chad can be in there with us, whichever you choose.” Greg said gently.

“I think I want him there
,” she replied nervously.

He nodded. “We’ll go on back to the conference room then and get this over with. I know it’s not going to be easy for you to relive all of it.”

“I’ll be okay.” Her voice betrayed the confidence of her words.

We followed them back to the big conference room and took a seat on one side of the table. Ashley set up next to Greg on the other side.

“Okay, why don't we start with you telling us exactly what happened that night.”

She grabbed my hand before speaking. “I was just leaving work for the night when I saw him in the parking lot. He was really dirty and mumbling to himself a lot. I asked him if he needed help,
because he didn’t look right.” She stopped for a moment. “Then he started asking me about Chad, and why he wasn’t returning any of his calls. I told him I didn’t know and that’s when he grabbed me. I tried to scream, but he clamped a hand over my mouth and dragged me back to where his car was.”

Hearing her speak about what happened was like a searing hot blade to the gut. The terror in her voice was something I wouldn’t soon forget.

“Once we got back to the car he must have knocked me out or something because I don't remember the drive to Chad’s apartment. The next thing I remember was him dragging me up the stairs by my hair. When we got to the front door he pounded on it for what felt like forever. When it was apparent that Chad wasn't there he looked at me and demanded the key to open the door. I told him I didn’t have one, that I had given it back when Chad and I had broken up.” She squeezed my hand. I knew this was so hard for her, but she was being so brave.

“He slapped me and told me he didn't believe me and grabbed the key ring out of my purse and started trying all of the keys in the lock. Of course none of them fit, but that only made him
angrier. He kicked the door open and shoved me inside.” She shuddered, remembering. “That’s when he really started hurting me. He was so mad. I kept asking him what he wanted, what I could give him. He told me to stop talking, that he hated my voice. He punched me so many times, in the face and the body. When I fell on the ground he started to kick me in the sides, I assume that’s when he cracked my ribs but I don’t really remember.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her she didn't have to say anymore. But I couldn’t.

“I can’t remember how long it was before Chad came home. He stopped hurting me after a bit
, and I laid on the floor crying, hoping that he would just go away. When he heard Chad open the door he yanked me to my feet.”

I remembered how she looked when I walked into the room. The blood on her face and the already forming bruises. She was so scared.

“I didn’t know he had a knife until it was pressed against my neck. Chad was trying to calm him down, but it wouldn’t work. The knife cut into my skin and I could feel blood running down my neck. Chad looked so anxious. I could tell he wanted to do something to help, but what could he do with a knife pressed to me?” She shook her head sadly.

“I know Chad was talking during all of it, but I couldn’t seem to hear what he was saying. All I could hear was my own blood rushing in my ears. I don’t know why that was. The next thing I remember was Tom letting me go and pushing me toward Chad. Then Chad was screaming at me to get away and call the police before he launched himself at Tom. They struggled for a moment and then Chad ended up on top. He punched Tom over and over again.” She paused. “Tom still had the knife. I tried to kick it out of his hand but his grip was strong.” She sobbed. “I couldn’t do anything.  I had called the police and was on the line with the 911 dispatcher while everything was happening. I watched as Tom stabbed Chad over and over. All I could do was scream.” She shook violently.

I put my arm around her and hugged her the best I could.

“Finally Tom stopped moving
, and I had to force Chad off of him. He kept telling me how sorry he was. When he tried to get up he passed out. I thought he was dead, there was so much blood everywhere.” She stopped and wiped her nose with a tissue.

“I’m so sorry
,” I whispered in her ear. He had done this awful thing to her because I was in her life.

“It’s not your fault.” She put her hand on my cheek.

“I just have a couple of questions if you feel up to it,” Greg asked gently.

She nodded.

“Did anyone see him take you from the parking lot?”

“No, in the back lot there’s not a lot of cars. It was almost the end of the day so not many people were still there.”

“Just one more. How long before the police came? And did either of you do anything to be sure Mr. Langer was totally unable to move?”