The Deeper We Get (14 page)

“I know it’s going to take some time for you to trust us, to trust me. I’m not going anywhere, and I will never hurt you.”

“When will he wake up? It’s been a week, he should be awake by now,” Scarlet demanded.
I love you. I wish I could say it to you now.

“Any
time now. His body went through a lot. He was stabbed six times in the sides and back. There was extensive damage, it’s going to take him some time to heal,” the doctor responded.

“Do you think he can hear us when we talk to him?”
Yes, I can hear you, don’t stop talking.

“I think yes, but we can't be certain.”

“Thank you. I know you don’t have to answer my questions.”

“His mother has given her permission. If you’ll excuse me, I have to make my rounds.”

“I don’t know if you really can hear me or not, but I’m going to talk anyway.” She grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry I left you,” she said quietly. “If you would just wake up I could tell you how much I love you.”

“Oh, Scarlet. I didn’t know you were here.” Ruth’s warm voice sounded loud and clear.

“I came from work. Chad and I were just having a chat.”

“Any news?”

“No, the doctor said it could be any day. It’s all up to Chad’s body.” She sighed.
Stay strong baby. I’m trying so hard to come back to you. I just don’t know the way.

“Our boy is a fighter, he’s going to come back to us.”

Scarlet sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ruth asked gently.

“We didn’t have the best ending,” Scarlet started. “I was just so mad at him for all of the lies. Tom had been coming around more and more. I asked him about it but he shut me out. Then he would start disappearing for a few days. I couldn't take the lies.”

“Honey, Chad isn't always easy to love. We’ve been through our share of it with him. It comes with how he was raised before he came to us.”

“We both have our baggage. I just don’t want it to come between us anymore.”

“I know how he feels about you. I think you both just need to talk about it.”

“I didn't think this would be how we met for the first time.” Scarlet laughed sadly.

“Me neither, but here we are anyway.” Ruth’s tone was light. “I’m so sorry this happened to you both. There are many things I would do differently if I could. I wish I had followed my instincts and stepped in as soon as Becca told me what was going on.” She sighed. “But he came here for a reason
—to find who he really wanted to be, without us interfering in everything. I wanted to give him that. The chance to handle it on his own, to be the man I know he is and could be.”

Mom. I love you for that. For letting me be who I am, for letting me try. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. I’m trying to come back to you.

“He told me a lot about you. The way he spoke was almost reverent, like you were a saint. I was really nervous to meet you.”

“He’s always been special to me. I love all my boys equally
. The other three were children of my body and soul, but Chad has been the child of my heart. Seeing him come to life again was like watching a baby being born. I couldn’t love him more. I was nervous to meet you as well.”

“Me, really?”

“He loves you, I could tell. I wanted you to like me, to have a good relationship with you. Family is important to me, more so than most anything. My boys have always chosen wisely with their women, and I knew you would be amazing. I wanted to live up to everything Chad thinks of me, for him and for you.”

“From the second I met you I knew that we would get along. You are everything he said you were.”
Scarlet stopped for a moment, then continued in almost a whisper. “He never actually told me he loved me. I only heard it when Tom made him say it. I love him so much. I can’t think about anything but him getting better. There is no other option.”

“He’s going to pull through honey. Our boy is a fighter”

“Why didn’t you stop him?” I demanded.

“This again?” my mom responded, her tone dismissive.

“Yes, this again. You’ve never once given me an answer. I deserve an answer. All the abuse and pain, what happened to Frannie. Why didn't you stop it? You just let it happen.”

“I couldn't stop it. There was nothing I could do. He would have hit me if I tried.”

“So you let him hit us instead. What kind of mother are you?”

“Stop it. Don’t you dare presume anything about me. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

“No, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I know what I’ve been through. Moms are supposed to look out for their children, not turn a blind eye. You are just as bad as he is. You let it happen.”

“You have no right to talk to me that way.”

“Don’t act like you’re mother of the year. What you did was just as bad.”

“I’ve never raised a hand to you kids. Never once. I tried to stop him. I told him he shouldn't do it.”

“Why do I not remember that? Was that at the very beginning? You were just glad it wasn’t you being hit weren’t you?”

“Yes. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I was more afraid of being hurt than protecting you kids? It’s true. I didn't want him to hit me. I loved him too much for that, I didn't want to hate him.”

“You would rather us hate you? You made us, carried us inside of you for nine whole months. How could you let him do it? You aren’t a mother at all.”

“Get out of this house!” she screamed. “I can’t bear to look at you right now.”

I didn't care if she made me leave. She was awful, I couldn’t bear to look at her either. The worst part was that I didn’t have anywhere to go. What my father had done all those years ago had marked us, no one wanted anything to do with us. Sure I had friends, but none of them would really invite me over.

It was times like this that I missed Becca. I wished she wouldn’t have left, but I knew she needed to have a life too. I just had to hold on for a few more years.

“Did the doctor’s say anything
about Tom?” Scarlet asked.

“I didn’t ask
,” Becca responded.

“Don’t worry about that sweetie, we have it well in hand
,” Ruth chimed in.

“Did you just see that?” Scarlet screamed, her hand gripping mine. “His eyes fluttered! Chad, can you hear me baby? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

I could do this, I could squeeze her hand. My eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds each. Can you feel me squeezing baby?

“Oh my God! He’s squeezing my hand. Ruth, Becca, he’s really doing it!”

I could feel her lips on my fingers.

“Honey, try and open your eyes for us
,” Ruth said gently, her hand on my forehead.

I’m trying
Mom. I’m trying.

“Good job baby
,” Scarlet praised. “A little more. Someone go and get the doctor.”

I could hear a lot of commotion, things being moved around. Everyone talking at once. I was regaining feeling in my limbs,
and I could wiggle my toes.

“Chad, can you hear me?”
a male voice asked. “Can you open your eyes for me?”

I blinked once, everything was so bright. My beautiful Scarlet was standing next to me, tears running down her cheeks. My eyes closed again for a moment, I was so damn tired.

“That’s it baby. Open your eyes again,” Scarlet spoke softly.

“Scarlet?” My voice was hoarse, my throat felt scratchy.

“Oh thank God.” She sank to her knees next to me.

“Chad, I’m
Doctor Hill. You’ve been out for over a week. I need to run a few routine tests if you feel up to it now?”

I nodded slowly, wanting more than anything for this to be over quickly so I could talk to my girl and see my family.

“Can you squeeze my hand?”

I did what he asked, hating that my grip wasn’t as strong as I would like. “Is this normal? I feel really weak.”

“It’s very normal. Your body has been through a lot, and it’s healing. Can you feel this?” He pressed something to the bottom of my foot.

I nodded.

“How about this?” He repeated the process with the other foot.

I nodded again.

“Good, very good. Okay, I’m pleased with your reflexes and responses for now. I’m going to give you some time with your family. Not too long though since you still need your rest.”

“Thank you
Doctor Hill, we really appreciate everything you’ve done for our boy,” Ruth beamed at him. She had her arm around Becca, and both of them were crying.

“Mom?” I’d never really called her
Mom before, but that was what she was to me. More so than my biological mom.

“Right here honey.” She was standing over me in an instant.

“I’m sorry for all of this,” I said weakly.

“Stop it. I wouldn’t hear it from your beautiful Scarlet, and I’m not going to hear it from you. I’m the one who is sorry. If I could go back in time I would have done things differently. But that’s not important anymore. The important thing is that you’re
okay and back with us now. Promise me you won’t scare me like this again, I think I have half a head of new grey hairs.”

My eyes locked on Scarlet
. Her bruises were fading but were still visible. My stomach clenched as I remembered everything.

“We’re going to give you two a moment alone.” Becca kissed my forehead and dragged Ruth out of the room with her.

“Chad…I…”

“You’re
okay right?”

She laughed. “Really? You just
woke up out of a coma, and you’re asking me if I’m okay? Yes, I’m okay, a few cracked ribs and some stitches.”

“I love you.”

Her knees buckled, and she sat on the bed next to me.

“I should have told you a long time ago. I love you so damn much. I hate that the first time you heard me say it
was when you had a knife pressed to your throat. I can never undo what he did to you and for that I’ll always feel guilty. Knowing that you weren’t seriously injured makes me feel a bit better.”

“Stop, just stop talking for a minute. I love you too. Being without you was hell. I was so angry, I
wouldn’t let you explain yourself to me. I didn’t want to hear any of it.”

“You were right to end it. Look what loving me got you
; cracked ribs, bruises, and stitches.”

“This wasn’t your fault. The blame l
ies solely with Tom. He did all of this.”

“I still lied to you.”

“You did. But I can understand why you did it now. I saw it then but I didn’t want to let go of my anger and hurt. Hating you was easier than loving you.”

“So what now? Where does this leave us?”

“I’m yours Chad. If you want me in your life I’m yours.”

“Lay with me?” I scooted myself over a tiny bit and sucked in a breath at the flash of searing pain in my side.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just lay here with me for a while. I need to feel you against me.”

She pulled back the covers and laid on her side facing me. “Say it again. I need to hear it again.”

“I love you
,” I whispered. She ran her fingers across my cheeks and down my lips.

“I love you too baby. I was so scared when you didn’t wake up.”

“I know you were.”

“Could you hear me when I talked to you?”

“Yes, every word.”

“Good. I wanted you to know how much we all wanted you to come back to us.”

“I was trying so hard. It was like being in a maze, I couldn’t tell which way to go.”

“You’re back now, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m back, and I’m never going to let you go.” I pulled her close to me and pressed my lips to hers.

“Um, is this allowed?” She
pulled her head back.

“Who the fuck cares? I was just in a coma
. If I want to kiss my girl, I’m going to do it.”

“Yes sir.” She giggled and leaned in again.

Becca and Ruth found us huddled together ten minutes later when they came in.

“All good in here?” Becca asked.

“Better than good,” Scarlet answered and wiggled out of my grasp so she could stand up.

“There’s a police officer here who would like to ask you some questions if you’re up for it
,” Ruth asked gently.

“Yeah
okay.”

“Come on, let
’s you and me go and get something to eat.” Becca herded Scarlet toward the door.

“She can't stay?”

“Not for this, no. I’m staying with you though.” Ruth patted my hand reassuringly.

“We’ll be back later.” Scarlet blew me a kiss.

“So how are you really doing?”

“Ok
ay I think. It’s hard to tell. Everything hurts. I still don't really know what happened.”

“You were stabbed six times in the sides and back.”

“Stabbed? Really? Why don’t I remember feeling that?”

“The police officer told me when it happens it just feels like you’re being punched, not like a blade is going in.”

I nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”

A knock preceded the uniformed officer entering the room.

“Mr. Langer? I’m Officer Maddings.” He was tall and broad shouldered, with an all business sort of look to him.

“That’s me.” I tried to sit up a bit but couldn’t. Ruth saw my
attempt and pressed the button on the bed to move me into a sitting position. It hurt like hell, but I was happy not to have them stand over me while we spoke.

“Are you up to a
nswering some questions for me?”

“Yeah. I’ll tell you what I can remember.”

“Great. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I was just getting home from work
. I thought I saw some movement inside of my apartment but I went in anyway. When I got inside my father was standing with Scarlet, she was bruised and bleeding.” My hands clenched into fists at my side.

“I know this is hard
,” Officer Maddings said gently.

“When I walked further inside he grabbed her and pressed a knife to her throat.”

“Did he say what he wanted?”

“Money. I assume to buy
meth, it’s what he had been using since he was here. I told him I would go and get some if he would let Scarlet go. He made some threats, pressing the knife into her neck.”

He made some notes in his notebook and motioned for me to continue.

“I convinced him to let me get her cleaned up before I left. The moment she was clear of him I made a break for him.”

“Do you remember being stabbed?”

“No, I remember him punching me in the sides and back a lot while I was on him. I didn't even feel it really until Scarlet got me off of him. That’s all I remember. What happened to him, where is he?”

“Thank you for your statement. Tom Langer is currently being held without bail for the attempted murder of you and the forced abduction of Miss Doyle.”

I sighed in relief. “Thank God. Will there be a trial?”

“I’ll keep you up to date when I find out more. Please take my card, and if you remember anything else don’t hesitate to call.” He handed me the card and shook my hand before leaving.

Ruth was standing off to the side, her lips pressed in a thin line. “I knew what happened, Scarlet told me, but hearing it from you makes it all seem more real. We came so close to losing you.”

“I’m still here
Mom.”

She smiled. “I’ve always wanted you to call me that, but I didn’t want you to feel like you had to.”

“You’re more than a mom to me Ruth. You made me into the man I am today. I didn’t need to be across the country to find myself because you found me all those years ago. You’ve always known just who I am.”

“I knew you needed to be here. I’ve known who you are from
our first day together. You are a good man, nothing like him.”

“I’m not sure that’s true. I have it in me to be violent.”

“We all do, it’s just if you choose to act on those impulses. You’re so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

They released me from the
hospital a few days later, once they were certain I could move around on my own.

Ruth insisted on moving me into a new place, she hated the thought of me living in the apartment where everything happened. Scarlet pulled her truck in front of a big black gate and punched in a few numbers on the keypad.

“What has she done?” I laughed as we continued down the driveway toward the huge house nestled on the sand by the beach.

“She knows how much you love the beach, so she got this place.”

It was very modern, lots of sharp angles and glass. I found that I really did like it a lot. “Please tell me it’s just a rental?”

“What do you think?” She smiled wryly. “Now stop complaining and let’s get you inside. Everyone is waiting.”

“Everyone?”

“Yeah, you didn’t think you’d come home to an empty house did you?” Her eyes twinkled.

“One can hope right?”

I walked to the house at a snail’s pace
; my body still hated me. Becca swung the door open when we got close.

“You’re home!”

“Looks that way.”

“Oh shut up and get inside. Just enjoy this beautiful house and everyone who loves you.”

Seth, Levi, and Joseph were leaning against the counter talking when I made my way into the kitchen. My heart felt full. This was my family, these were my brothers. No more fighting it. I had a family who loved me no matter what. I didn’t need the love or approval of the man who supplied the genetic material.

“Hey man, good to see you out of that bed.” Levi squeezed my shoulder.