The Deeper We Get (9 page)

“Not long, a few weeks.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” She looked concerned.

“It’s not a big deal, I’m handling it.”

“How exactly? He’s still in L.A. then?”

“He comes around every now and then, that’s it. He can't hurt me now.” I was so mad at him for calling her, for bringing her into this. I told him not to, and he had agreed. “Is Levi with you?” I changed the subject.

“Yes, he’s working at the hotel. Don’t try and change the subject Chad. I need to know that you're okay, that he’s not hurting you or messing with your head.” She sank down on the couch.

I sat next to her. “I promise you I’m
okay, better than okay. I have a good thing going here. Tom isn't ruining anything for me.”

She looked me in the eyes, trying to decide if I was telling the truth or not. “Tell me about her
,” she said after a moment. I knew the subject of our dad wasn't going to drop that easily, but I was thankful for the subject switch so I could gather my thoughts.

“Who?”

“The girl, the one who you left with this morning.” She smirked.

“You saw us?”

“I got here just as you were pulling out of the parking lot. Must be serious if she’s staying the night.”

“Her name is Scarlet
. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month.”

“You like her.” It wasn’t a question. Becca could always see through me, to the very core of me.

“I do. She’s different than the girls in New York, more real somehow. She really sees me, and not just what’s on the outside.”

“Can I meet her?”

“Depends.”

“Oh yeah, on what?” She arched a brow.

“On how long you're here.”

“I’m here as long as I want to be here. Now answer the question Chad.” She gave me her best stern look.

“Of course you can meet her Becs.” I slung my arm around her shoulders. Even though I wanted to handle the Tom situation on my own, it was really good to see her. I was used to us being a united front and keeping things from her felt weird.

“Ok
ay, now that we’ve got one issue settled let’s return to the reason I’m here. What are we going to do about Tom?”

“
We
aren’t going to do anything about him. I’ve got this covered.”

“Stop. Stop trying to push me out of this. It’s not your responsibility to shoulder this alone. You have a whole family who can help. I can help.” She looked sad.

“Becca, you’ve done more than enough to protect me. This was my chance to protect you. I didn’t want him to ruin your happiness. You didn’t need to dredge it all up again.”

“I didn’t do enough.” She looks away. I see it, just like I’ve always seen it. She’
d always shoulder so much guilt, blaming herself for things beyond her control. I knew in that moment that no matter what I would not let Tom near her.

“You always did enough. He’s not going to hurt me because I’m not going to let him. I’m a grown man now, not a five
-year-old who can’t protect himself. The situation is handled.”

She got up and walked to the window, looking out at the gloom that was normal to California. “Just when I think I’m really
okay—finally over all of it—something happens to rip open all of my scars.” Her voice was soft. “I wish the past would stay buried, so I would never have to think about it again.”

The sadness in her voice broke my heart. This was what I had been trying to avoid, and I would do everything in my power to keep her out of it.

“It’s all okay. Nothing can hurt you again. I won't let anything happen to you.” I walked to her and put my arms around her. “I love you more than anything, you know that right?”

“I do. And I hope you know I love you too, even when you’re doing stupid things I don’t agree with.” I felt her cheek lift with her smile.

“What stupid things? Moving to California?”

“Yeah, moving across the country from me and from Ruth. But she told me not to give you shit about it when I got here, so that’s the last I’ll say about it.”

My heart squeezed in my chest. I loved Becca, and Ruth, and the whole damn family so much. I hadn't realized how much I missed them until just now.

“So, do you have classes today?”

“No, today is an off day.” The lie slipped off my tongue easily. I knew if I said yes she would make me go instead of spending time with her.

“Want to play tourist with me then?”

“There’s nothing I would like more. I hope you don’t mind riding on the bike with me because I don’t have a car.”

“Well I do have a car, but I’ll ride on the bike anyway since I know how much you love freaking me out.” She grinned at me. “I hope you have a helmet for me.”

“It just so happens I keep a spare here for when Scarlet forgets hers.”

Her smile grew when I mentioned Scarlet. “You’re really into her, I can tell.”

“Sure, you can tell by how I mentioned having an extra helmet here?” I shook my head.

“No, I can tell by the look in your eye when you said her name. Just be careful
okay? Don’t rush it, you have the rest of your life for marriage and kids.”

“Whoa, who said anything about marriage and kids? And besides, if I’m not mistaken
, you got married before you were even nineteen.”

“I love Levi and my life with him, but we got married really young. I wouldn’t change it at all
, and we are for sure the exception to the rule when it comes to young marriages. The sheer fact that we’re still married five years later is crazy.”

“I’m not rushing into marriage with Scarlet. For now I’m enjoying dating her.”

“Good. Now go and grab me a helmet and let’s get going.”

I complied and soon we were weaving through traffic on the freeway on our way to the beach. Becca had an iron grip around my waist
, and I had to remind myself not to drive too fast.

“How do you not come here all the time?”
she asked as we walked in the sand by the crashing waves.

“I do, probably once a week. Scarlet loves it.” I stopped myself before I said more. I needed to be careful and not say too much. The last thing I needed was an excited phone call from Ruth asking me all sorts of questions.

“Must be nice. I’m stuck indoors all day.” She mock frowned.

“Yeah, dancing all day must be super hard for you.”

“It’s the pits.” She grinned.

I was happy her dreams had all come true.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.

“Go ahead.”

“Why California?”

“I needed the space to be away from everyone so I could find out who I am, not who you all think I need to be.”

She stopped walking and turned to look at me. “I never realized how much pressure you must have felt. To live up to all of the expectations that I had for you.”

“You want me to be happy above all else, I know that. If you didn’t
, you never would have let me move across the country from you.”

“I didn’t want to let you. I wanted to keep you by me so I could make sure you were always
okay.”

“I know it’s been a rough few years, and I haven’t made it easy to love me. I’m figuring it out though. I know where I want to be, I just need to figure out how to get there.”

She put a hand on my shoulder. I could tell she wanted to say more, but she didn’t.

“Let’s just enjoy our time
okay? We don't need to rehash all of this.” I put my arm around her shoulder, and we continued walking.

“What if she doesn’t like
me?” Scarlet chewed her lower lip nervously.

“Baby, how could she not like you? You’re perfect. Plus the fact that I like you plays well in your favor.”

“Perfection huh? That’s a lot to live up to.”

“Just be you, they’re going to love you.” I kissed her lightly on the forehead.

Levi and Becca were picking us up at my place in their rental car. I was nervous. This was the first girl they had met since I was fifteen. I never brought home any of the girls I dated in New York, because none of them mattered the way
she
mattered. I paced in front of the window, watching for them.

“Wait, why are
you
nervous?”

“Who says I am?”

“I say. You’re like a caged animal. Sit down and stop that pacing, you’re wigging me out.” She patted the couch next to her.

“Sorry.” I grinned. “I didn’t think I would be anxious about this but I guess I am. Like I said I know they will love you.” I leaned in and kissed her.

“Stop, you’re going to ruin my lipstick.” She pulled away and slapped at my chest.

I laughed
. “Fine, I’ll be good for now.” A fire lit somewhere deep within me, and like the striking of a match, it burned fast and hot.

The bell rang
, and I leapt to my feet. “Looks like you’ve been granted a reprieve baby.” I winked at her as I swung the door open. Instead of Becca and Levi, it was Tom.

“Son, can I come in for a minute?”
he asked.

“No, you can’t come in for a minute.” I shot Scarlet an apologetic look and stepped out into the hall. “What the fuck? You said you wouldn’t call her.” My rage simmered on the backburner, a swirling vat of boiling liquid in the pit of my stomach.

“She’s mine Chad, I had to.”

“She’s not yours any more than I am. She belongs to someone else, someone who actually loves her.”

“When are you going to understand that I do love you kids?” He looked annoyed.

“Really? You’re going to ask that and act put out? You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t fall all over you and take you at your word. Years of abuse and hate can’t be erased by saying I love you.”

“This is hard for me too. Reliving it all has been hell.”

“Yeah it must be hard remembering how you murdered your daughter.” Sarcasm dripped from my words. “What exactly did you come here for?”

“I wanted to be the one to tell you I called your sister.”

“Really? Somehow I don’t think that’s true. Why did you really come?”

“I need some help. My hotel is hiking up the rates, and I can’t afford to stay there for much longer.”

“And that’s my problem why?”

“It’s not.” He sighed. “I had hoped you would let me stay with you.”

I barked out a laugh. “What the hell would ever make you think I would
agree to that?”

“Chad?” Levi’s voice called from the stairs.

I looked past Tom to where Levi and Becca were standing. The look of fear in her eyes smashed my heart to pieces. Fuck him, I loathed him for bringing her into this.

“Becca, go inside with Scarlet please.” We both knew it wasn’t a request. I hoped she would listen.

“No, I get my say Chad. You can’t deny me that.” She gripped Levi’s hand as they walked to us.

“Becca...” Tom struggled to speak. “Look at you, all grown up into a beautiful woman.”

“Don’t, okay? Just don’t.” She held up a hand. “I hate you. For everything you did to us, I hate you. There’s nothing you can say to change that. I want you to stop calling me and to leave Chad alone. It’s not fair to us. You’ve done enough, don’t you think?” A tear slipped down her cheek.

He took a step toward her
, and Levi spoke up. “I wouldn’t if I were you.” His jaw was tight, and his free hand clenched in a fist. I saw him for the man he was now. I’d known him for years but never really saw him until now. He was as mad as I had ever seen him. I got it, I felt the same anger. Tom was barging into Becca’s life, and I knew Levi would do anything he could to stop him from hurting her.

“I just wanted to…”

“To what?” Becca shot back. “What could you possibly want?”

“I’m so sorry Becca, so sorry for all of it.” He dropped his eyes.

“I don’t want your apologies. I don’t want anything from you. Any hope you ever had of us loving you died with Frannie.” She let go of Levi’s hand and walked into my apartment.

“I think you need to leave
,” Levi said, taking a step between Tom and me.

“That isn’t for you to decide. I need to finish my conversation with Chad.”

“It is for me to decide, and I think you’ve said everything you’re going to say.”

I saw something flash in Tom’s eyes
. I’d seen in a million times, the same rage he’d always had. Nothing had changed, he just learned how to mask it better.

“Who do you think you are to tell me that?”
he roared.

“Who am I? I’m a far better man than you’ll ever be. I don’t know you, and I don’t care to. Just know that I’ll protect Becca and Chad with my life. They are my family, and they don’t need you.” He put a hand on my shoulder.

Tom looked from me to Levi and nodded. “I’ll be in touch Chad.”

“No, you won’t. I’m putting in a call to the police tonight. You should pack your bags and go back to Washington.” The hatred in Levi’s voice quieted anything I would have said.

“This isn’t done and you know it Chad,” Tom said softly before walking away.

I turned to go back inside but Levi stopped me. “Don’t think we’re not having this conversation because we are. You should have called us.”

“You know why I didn’t. Don’t pretend that you don’t.”

“You’re not alone in this. I don’t want her hurt either but she has a right to know things like this.”

I sighed and leaned against the wall. “I know she does, but I would do anything to avoid the look she had tonight. She’s been through enough already. I only wanted to spare her more pain.”

“She has the right to choose, and I think we both know what her choice will always be.”

When we walked inside we found Becca and Scarlet on the couch huddled together. Becca was sobbing uncontrollably and Scarlet was hugging her and whispering to her. She smiled weakly when she saw me but didn’t let Becca go.

“You
okay?” I sat next to them.

“Sorry, this is so not how I wanted to meet you for the first time.” Becca pulled away and wiped her eyes on her sleeves.

“Hey, don’t apologize for this. You reacted the way anyone would. It’s a lot to take in.” Scarlet patted her knee.

“I’m really not normally a crier, but seeing him in person just took me back to it
, you know?”

“I do know.” Scarlet nodded sadly.

Becca shot me a questioning look, and I shook my head. Now was not the time to delve into all of our baggage.

“What do you say to ordering some pizza and just hanging out here for the night?” I asked
. I could tell that none of us were in the mood for a night on the town.

“That sounds perfect
,” Levi answered.

By the time the pizza got there we were all in better spirits. “So,
how did you two meet?” Becca asked.

Scarlet looked at me and smiled. “Chad here was my knight in shining armor. He saved me from a bad situation. I knew I was in for it that night but I didn’t see him again for a few days. I think it was fate that brought us back together
. He walked into my uncle’s garage looking for a job, and that was it for me.”

I hadn’t really thought about it from her side of things. It was interesting to hear that I had affected her just as much from the
beginning.

“So you started dating right away then?” Becca questioned.

“No, not right away.” Scarlet laughed. “Chad played hard to get for a while. I had to work for it.”

“Sounds like the Chad we know and love.” Levi smiled

“What about you two? How did you meet?” Scarlet asked.

“Levi here was my own personal stalker at college.” Becca grinned at her husband. “Isn’t that right honey?”

“Something like that.” Levi shook his head. “I seem to remember it was you who ran into me that first night, spilled a whole cup of beer on me too.” He kissed the top of her head.

“He just wouldn’t take no for an answer. He never gave up on me.” She gave him a look of total adoration. “I’m very lucky to have found the other half of my soul at such a young age. So many people wait their whole lives to find that one person who completes them
. I’ll never take that for granted.”

“I’m the lucky one.” He tipped her lips up to his.

At the end of the night Becca pulled me aside. “Promise me you’re not going to deal with this alone anymore okay? We’re a team right? I protect you, you protect me.”

“I promise.” I hugged her tight, hoping that she wouldn’t see through my lie.

“I love you kid.” She kissed my cheek.

“Love you back.”

“And you, you better be coming home with Chad for Christmas.” She pulled Scarlet into a bear hug.

“If I’m invited then I’ll be there.” Scarlet beamed at her.

“Once Ruth gets wind of you there’s nothing that will keep you from coming.” I laughed.

“Ok
ay, see you in a couple of months. Take care of him for me.” Becca hugged us both again before they left.

“Thank you.” I pulled
Scarlet into a hug.

“For what?”

“For being you.” I kissed her.

I woke up the next
morning with Scarlet’s sleeping body draped over me like a blanket. I watched the steady rise and fall of her chest, feeling more relaxed than I had in a long time. My mind wandered to Tom and what he had asked me before Becca and Levi had shown up.

There was no way I would let him live here with me. I didn’t want to share my space with him
—see him every day.

“Morning.” She rolled over and smiled sleepily at me.

“Sleep well?” I asked.

“Like the dead
. I always do with you.” She kissed my chest. “What are your plans for today?”

“Work, then a mountain of homework. I got the ‘pay attention in school’ talk from Becca while she was here. I know she’s right, I need to take it more seriously if I ever hope to make anything of myself.”

“Do you have time before you have to go?” She nuzzled in closer to my neck.

“What do you have in mind?”

She let her hands wander to the waist of my boxers. “It appears someone has the same thought as me,” she purred as her hands close around me.

“He always has the same thought as you
,” I growled and flipped her onto her back. I stripped off the shirt she was wearing and kissed my way up to her breasts. I always had to stop myself from rushing with her. I wanted to draw it out, make her feel it.

I used my lips, tongue, and fingers until she was writhing in pleasure on the bed beneath me. “Are you ready for me?”

“Yes,” she moaned as I buried myself in her. She fit me like a glove each time, it was easy to lose myself. Forcing myself to go slow, I brought my lips down to hers, nibbling at her lower lip.

“More, give me more
,” I whispered in her ear.

“Take it if you want it.”

Any thoughts of going slow were erased with those words. I got to my knees and hitched her hips up to meet mine. If she wanted me to take it than I was more than happy to oblige her. I gripped her thighs as I pushed us both closer to the edge.

“Chad!”
she screamed out. I could feel her fluttering around me.

“I’m with you baby, right here with you.” I drove into her once more and shuddered as stars exploded in my eyes.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” she whispered.