The Deeper We Get (15 page)

“It’s good to be out of bed.” I laughed.

“You know, if you wanted us all out for a visit, there were easier ways to do it.” Seth grinned and pulled me into a hug.

“Thanks, I’ll remember that for next time.” I laughed.

“But seriously, we’re so glad you both are
okay,” he said softly.

“You and me both.”

“Have you met with your lawyer yet?” Joseph asked.

“Really? He just got out of the hospital Joe
,” Ruth chided as she walked into the kitchen followed by Samuel.

“I just want to make sure he’s well represented mom. I wasn’t pleased with the first guy we hired.  I’d represent him myself but this is way outside my scope.”

“It’s okay. He left me a message, and I’m going to call him tomorrow.”

“Greg’s a really good guy and a great lawyer. We went to law school together. I can feel confident that you’re going to be well taken care of.”

“I appreciate it.” I slung my arm around his shoulder. I had gotten really good at controlling the wince associated with any movements I made.

“Come on, go and sit down in the living room
,” Samuel commanded.

I followed him into the huge living room
where one whole wall was made out of glass and looked out onto the water. I could for sure get used to this.

“How are you doing with all of this?”
he asked.

“I’m not sure yet. It’s all been so much. I wanted to believe him.”

“Of course you did. Who wouldn’t want to believe that their dad had gotten better? I don’t blame you for that.”

Sam was always so understanding. Through everything, he was always just there, ready to listen.

“I feel so stupid. Becca saw him for what he was.”

“Don’t do that. Becca wasn’t here every day with him. She didn’t hear everything he told you day in and day out. Or see the changes he wanted you to see. I’m sure if she had been here with you the whole time it would have been a different story. You saw what he wanted you to see. Maybe he really had changed but maybe not. Addiction is a scary thing.”

“I don’t think he changed.” I shook my head. “He just wanted to use me.”

“Don’t hold onto this. Hate and anger will only hurt you.”

“It’s hard to let go. All of this is so fresh.”

“I know it is. Just be careful not to lose yourself to the hate.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He smiled.

“For everything. You and Mom have done so much for me. I can never say thank you enough.”

“We’re your family son, there is nothing we wouldn’t do for you.”

Samuel was the dad I had always been looking for in Tom. The kind of dad who loved unconditionally and never made me feel less than who I was.

“I should never have been looking for you in him when you were here for me all along.”

“I don’t begrudge that, you have to know that. I understood it. You have always craved it, the approval and the love. I have always and will continue to freely give both of those things. I knew you would always wonder about him if you didn’t give him a chance.”

“Dad
…”

“I’m always going to be here. I’ll never raise my hand to you or withhold my love. You are worth it for me. You and your brothers and sister mean more to me and your mom than anything else. We are blessed beyond all measure.” He pulled me against him and hugged me while I poured out the emotion I hadn’t realized I had been holding in.

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

“I hate feeling weak,
and I hate feeling helpless. I will never forget how scared she was when I walked through the door. The sight of her blood covering her mouth, the bruises on her face, the knife pressed into her neck. I’ve never been so terrified Dad.” I couldn’t catch my breath. All of the terror I had been holding inside of me since I woke up was finally coming out.

“Come with me.” He led me up a set of stairs to a bedroom. I was thankful that I didn’t freak out in front of everyone.

“Get it all out son, no shame in it.” He patted my back as we sat together on the edge of the huge bed.

“I love her
, Dad.”

“I know you do. What are you going to do about it?”

I looked at him. “Not go ring shopping, that’s for damn sure. I’m too young to get married.”

“Not any younger than Becca and Levi when they got married, but that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?”

“I meant, what does this change for you? Now that you know your feelings, how will this change your relationship and your life?”

“I know what it’s like without her. Before this we were broken up, she had walked away. I can't go back to that.”

“Why were you broken up?”

“Because my judgment was impaired by my desire to have a relationship with Tom. I lied, told half-truths, and omitted information. I would have left me too. I don’t blame her for it.”

“So what are you going to do to make sure it never happens again?”

“Always be honest. I want her to trust me again, even though I’ve done nothing to earn it.”

“She will, I can see how she feels about you.”

“Sometimes the people we love aren’t the best for us.”

“You aren’t Tom. You are good for her, just like she is good for you. You need to start over with her, figure out what you both really want from this.”

He was right, I couldn’t remember a time he gave me bad advice.

“Now let’s go and enjoy your party.” He smiled and followed me out of the room.

“There he is.” Vin pulled me into a hug as soon as I got down the stairs. “Good to see you up and about.”

“It’s nice to be out of bed for a while.”

“Hurry up and get better so I can beat the smile off your face again.” He grinned.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky I’m not in top fighting form right now, you just wait.”

“We missed you man, glad you’re not dead,” Ian chimed in.

“Ian!” Scarlet slapped his arm.

“What? I didn’t say I was glad he got stabbed or anything. I said I was glad he didn’t die.”

Leave it to Ian to break the ice. The tension in the air was officially gone. We spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing. I was so thankful things had gone the way they had.

The next few weeks flew
by in a blur of doctor’s appointments and coddling. As much as I adored Ruth, I was ready to be on my own again.

“Are you sure you will be
okay?” she asked for the millionth time in the last hour.

“Mom, I promise I’m well looked after.” I gestured to Scarlet.

“Ruth, I’ll take good care of him. You get back to Samuel.”

“If you think you’ll be
okay, I’ll go.”

“I’ll be better than
okay. I’m almost back to normal now. All of the stitches are out, and I can drive by myself. You don’t need to stay and babysit me anymore.”

“That’s not what I’ve been doing.”

“Isn’t it? Between you and Becca I haven't been alone since I came home from the hospital.”

“We just love you a lot and wanted to be sure you were better before leaving.”

“I’m better, I promise.” I was going to shoot myself if I didn’t get some alone time with Scarlet. I was starting to forget what she looked like naked.

“Ok
ay, okay, I’m going. Promise me you both will come to New York in a few months. I know we had planned on Christmas but this derailed all of that.”

“We promise. Now get out of here.” I laughed.

“Fine, I’m going.” She gave us both hugs.

When I closed the door behind her I breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Exactly. No one is here but us.”

“Oh really?” She licked her lower lip. “Did you have something you wanted to do now that we are alone?”

“I could think of a few things, but none more pressing than seeing you without clothes on.” I pulled my shirt over my head. Her eyes went to my scarred skin. I didn’t want it to ruin the mood so I went to put it back on.

“No, don’t.” She knelt down and kissed each one gently. “They’re part of you now. The part of you that happened because you saved me.”

“I’ll always save you. No matter what happens
, I’ll always save you.” I pulled her to her feet and crushed her body against mine so I could kiss her. I was ravenous for her. Like a starving man in front of a buffet. I never knew need like this.

“Slow down, we have all night
,” she panted, pulling away slightly.

“Can’t slow down. Need you too much. Bedroom, now. No clothes. I need to see you, all of you.”

She nodded and walked up the stairs in front of me. When we got to my room, she shimmied out of her shorts, standing in only her bra and panties. I was on her before she could take them off.

“Let me. I want to unwrap my present.” I peeled her panties off first, licking my lips in anticipation. Her bra came next,
and she finally stood before me totally bare. “Fucking hell Scarlet. You are incredible. I’ve thought about you so much in the last couple of weeks.”

“Stop thinking then. Take what’s yours.”

I didn’t need any more of an invitation. I tossed her on the bed and descended on her. Licking my way up from her ankles. By the time my mouth made its way up to hers she was panting with pleasure.

“God, I missed you
,” she moaned as I sank slowly into her.

“I missed you so much.” I groaned and moved faster. “I can’t wait tonight, I need it too much baby. Say you’re close.” I gripped the pillows above her head.

“Almost there,” she panted. “Just a bit more.”

I rolled her to her stomach and grabbed her hips, there was nothing soft or gentle about tonight. It was all about need, both mine and hers.

“Just like that,” she moaned, pushing her face into the pillows.

My fingers dug into her skin, pulling her against my thrusts. I wanted to feel every inch of her.

“Yes, almost baby.” She turned her head back to look at me. The look of pure lust in her eyes pushed me over the edge.

“I’m fucking there baby, come with me.” I groaned and fell forward against her shuddering body.

“Wow. That was intense,” she panted from under me.

“Intense is an understatement. I think we levitated at one point.” I laughed and rolled to the side so she could scoot out from under me.

“Let’s never go that long between again.”

“Deal.” She leaned in and kissed me softly.

“What do you want to do with the rest of our day?” It was only ten in the morning.

“I vote we stay naked all day and eat junk food.”

“I think that could be arranged. But who is going to get said junk food, we have nothing here. I think they frown upon naked grocery shopping.”

“Fine, we can put clothes
on for shopping.”

“Who knew you were such a fan of my naked body.” I laughed.

“I didn’t know I was until I couldn’t see it for a month. Now I know how much I like it.”

“The good news is that I’m a huge fan of yours too.”

“Glad to hear it.” She wiggled her naked butt as she put her panties back on. “Come on then, get those pants back on so we can go.” She tossed them at my face.

“So I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“Us.”

She stilled and looked at me. “Where are you going with this?”

“Not on one knee so stop looking so freaked out.” I laughed.

“Thank God, I love you and all, but I’m a baby still and have no desire to be married right now.”

“Good, on the same page.”

“Where were you going with this before I derailed us into a weird marriage conversation?” She chuckled.

“How would you feel about moving in here with me?”

“I don’t know.”

“You pretty much live here anyway.”

“Frank might have something to say about it.” She looked pensive.

“Yeah, he might.”

“Can I have a couple of days to think about it?”

“Would he feel better if you had your own room?”

“He might.” She smiled.

“Would you feel better if you had your own room?”

“Maybe. Not that I wouldn’t want to share a room with you, but I kind of like my own space sometimes. Plus then you wouldn’t have to see all the weird things I do when I’m by myself.”

“I think your own room could be arranged.” I grinned. “Wait, what weird things do you do when you are alone?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she said coyly.

“Yes, that’s why I asked.
”

“Oh come on, like you don’t have weird things you do alone?”

“Does masturbating count?”

“Nope, we all do that.” She laughed. “It has to be something really weird.”

“Tell me one of yours as an example.”

“Not a chance.”

“It seems that we’re at an impasse then doesn’t it.”

“It appears we are.” She kissed my cheek. “Now come on, let
’s go get some food.”

I couldn’t stop trying to guess what her weird alone things were as we were shopping.

“Do you sleep with something over your face so spiders won’t crawl in your mouth?”

“What? No, that is the strangest thing ever. Who would do that?”

“I don’t know. This is killing me over here! I hate not knowing things.”

“Get used to it baby, I’m not cracking anytime soon.”

“Nope, not going to get used to it. Do you wear those weird gloves on your hands at night after you put on Vaseline or lotion?”

“No, can't say that I do that. Although good guess.”

“Good guess? Does that mean that I’m on the right track?”

“I didn’t say that.” She smiled wanly.

“Yeah but you didn’t not say it either.”

“Why don’t you just concentrate on what you want to buy
,” she suggested as she tossed some ice cream into the basket.

“Ok
ay, you win for now.” We moved on to the next aisle. I tossed in frozen pizzas, French fries, and frozen burritos.

“I think we need candy and soda, and maybe whipped cream and chocolate milk.”  She tapped a finger to her lip.

“Anything you want baby.” My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was my lawyer calling. “I’m going to take this outside, it’s my lawyer. Keep shopping though okay?” She blew me a kiss and I answered as I walking.

“Hello?”

“Chad, it’s Greg, can you talk?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I just got off the phone with your dad’s lawyer. They are going to try and claim insanity.”

“What? There’s no way they can do that right?” I could feel my blood pressure rising.

“Unless they can get someone to corroborate that they can’t.”

“So it’s looking like we
’ll have to go to trial for sure?”

“It’s looking like it
, yes.”

“I don’t understand this, how was he not yanked right back to prison when he violated his parole?” We had since found out that he had left the state of Washington without permission.

“His crimes here are more serious. He’s going to face jail time no matter what Chad. I’ll call you when I have more information.”

“Thanks Greg.” After I hung up I went to find Scarlet.

“Who was that?”

“It was Greg, he told me Tom is trying to plead insanity.”

“No way! They won’t let him do that will they? Being on drugs doesn’t make you insane.”

“Let’s hope not.”

“Are you okay?” She looked concerned.

“I am, let’s not let him ruin our fun naked day.” That got a smile from her.

“I’ll even let you go back to guessing what my weird habits are.” She winked.

I made the decision to
withdraw from school. There was no way I could catch up on all of the work I had missed while I was in the hospital and recuperating. In a way, I was relieved I didn’t have to pretend I wanted to be there anymore. And, for once, no one in the family was giving me grief about it. For now they were letting me figure out this situation on my own. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back until the following year, not until after the trial at least.

“What are you going to do with all of your free time now?” Scarlet asked as we were lounging on the back patio watching the waves.

“I haven’t really thought about it. Work most likely.”

“That is a really boring answer.”

“Sorry, I’m not that exciting.” I shrugged.

“I think that you should do more fun things. We’ve had enough nonsense the past few months. We could use some fun.”

“What kind of fun?” I dug my fingers into her sides making her squeal.

“That kind for sure, but more along the lines of amusement parks and road trips. We’re only young once right?”

“I’m not opposed to planning some trips, I just want to get all this trial stuff out of the way. I feel like I can’t really move on until it’s behind me.” I had a hard time imagining the future. I was constantly nervous about something unexpected happening. After Greg had called saying Tom was going to plead insanity I hadn’t felt calm.

“I get that.” She snuggled up against me.

“Have you given any more thought to moving in here with me?” I broached the subject I had been trying to give her space on.

“Sort of.”

“What are your thoughts?”

“Do you think it’s too soon? I mean we’re so young, and I don’t know, we’ve had kind of a rocky time since we started.”

“We are young, and yes it is soon. This might scare you, but I can for sure see a future with you down the line with a ring on your finger and babies around us. I don’t want to rush into any of that yet while we aren’t ready, but I do want to move forward. I want to wake up to you every morning and go to sleep knowing that you’re here.”

“I can see a future with you too. I just want to take this a bit slower. We’ve been through so much together in the short time we’ve been dating. Why do we need to rush it?”