The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (599 page)

KATHERINA. Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,

Get out of here, you lying slave,

[Beats him.]

That feed'st me with the very name of meat.

That feeds me just the name of food.

Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you

May unhappiness come to you and all the rest of the pack

That triumph thus upon my misery!

That are enjoying my misery!

Go, get thee gone, I say.

Go, get out of here, I say.

[Enter PETRUCHIO with a dish of meat; and HORTENSIO.]

PETRUCHIO. How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?

How is my Kate? All is well, sweeting?

HORTENSIO. Mistress, what cheer?

How are you, madame?

KATHERINA. Faith, as cold as can be.

PETRUCHIO. Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.

Lift your spirits; look cheerfully on me.

Here, love; thou seest how diligent I am,

Here, love; you see how hardworking I am,

To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee:

To prepare your food myself, and bring it to you:

[Sets the dish on a table.]

I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.

I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness deserves thanks.

What! not a word? Nay, then thou lov'st it not,

What! Not a word? No, then you don't like it,

And all my pains is sorted to no proof.

And all my trouble is for nothing.

Here, take away this dish.

KATHERINA. I pray you, let it stand.

Please, leave it there.

PETRUCHIO. The poorest service is repaid with thanks;

And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.

KATHERINA. I thank you, sir.

HORTENSIO. Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame. Come, Mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.

Sir Petuchio, enough! You are to blame. Come, Madame Kate, I'll keep you company.

PETRUCHIO. [Aside.] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.

Eat all of it up, Hortensio, if you are my friend.

Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!

May it do much good to your gentle heart!

Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,

Kate, eat after him: and now, my honey love,

Will we return unto thy father's house

We will return to your father's house

And revel it as bravely as the best,

And enjoy it as well as the best,

With silken coats and caps, and golden rings,

With silk coats and hats, and golden rings,

With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things;

With ruffs and cuffs and decorations and things;

With scarfs and fans and double change of bravery,

With scarfs and fans and two changes of lovely clothes,

With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.

With amber bracelets, beads, and a lot of other stuff.

What! hast thou din'd? The tailor stays thy leisure,

What, have you eaten? The tailor is here at your convenience,

To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.

To decorate your body with his ruffled treasure.

[Enter TAILOR.]

Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;

Lay forth the gown.--

Spread out the gown. --

[Enter HABERDASHER.]

[Enter HATMAKER.]

What news with you, sir?

HABERDASHER. Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.

Here is the cap your worship ordered.

PETRUCHIO. Why, this was moulded on a porringer;

Why, this looks like it was shaped on a bowl;

A velvet dish: fie, fie! 'tis lewd and filthy:

A velvet dish; enough, enough! It's improper and dirty:

Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,

Why, it's a clam or a walnut shell,

A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap:

A knickknack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap:

Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.

Get rid of it! Come, let me have a bigger.

KATHERINA. I'll have no bigger; this doth fit the time,

I don't want a bigger one; this one is fashionable,

And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.

PETRUCHIO. When you are gentle, you shall have one too,

And not till then.

HORTENSIO. [Aside] That will not be in haste.

That won't be any time soon.

KATHERINA. Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;

Why, sir, I trust I have permission to speak;

And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.

And I will speak. I am no child, no baby.

Your betters have endur'd me say my mind,

Men better than you have endured me speaking my mind,

And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.

And if you cannot, then you should cover your ears.

My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,

Or else my heart, concealing it, will break;

Or else my heart, hiding it, will break;

And rather than it shall, I will be free

And rather than that happening, I will be free

Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

No matter what, as I please, in words.

PETRUCHIO. Why, thou say'st true; it is a paltry cap,

Why, you are quite right; it is a pathetic cap,

A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie;

A dessert dish, a little plaything, a silk pie;

I love thee well in that thou lik'st it not.

I love you for not liking it.

KATHERINA. Love me or love me not, I like the cap;

Love me or do not love me, I like the cap;

And it I will have, or I will have none.

And I want it, or I don't want any.

[Exit HABERDASHER.]

PETRUCHIO. Thy gown? Why, ay: come, tailor, let us see't.

Your gown? Why, yes: come, tailor, let us see it.

O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?

Oh mercy, God! What cheap costumery is here?

What's this? A sleeve? 'Tis like a demi-cannon.

What's this? A sleeve? It's like a little cannon.

What, up and down, carv'd like an appletart?

What, up and down, caved like an apple tart?

Here's snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,

Like to a censer in a barber's shop.

As if it had been to a barber's shop.

Why, what i' devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?

Why, what in the davil's name, tailor, do you call this?

HORTENSIO. [Aside] I see she's like to have neither cap nor gown.

I see she's likely to not get the cap or the gown.

TAILOR. You bid me make it orderly and well,

You told me to make it neatly and well,

According to the fashion and the time.

PETRUCHIO. Marry, and did; but if you be remember'd,

By Mary, I did; but if you remember,

I did not bid you mar it to the time.

I did not tell you to ruin it according to the time.

Go, hop me over every kennel home,

Go, jump over every doghouse home,

For you shall hop without my custom, sir.

For I will not be your customer again, sir.

I'll none of it: hence! make your best of it.

I'll have none of it: go! Make the best of it.

KATHERINA. I never saw a better fashion'd gown,

I never saw a better made gown,

More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable;

More pretty, more pleasing, or more admirable;

Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

It looks like you mean to make me into a puppet.

PETRUCHIO. Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

Why, it's true; he means to make a puppet out of you.

TAILOR. She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.

PETRUCHIO. O monstrous arrogance!

Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,

You lie, you thread, you thimble,

Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!

You yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!

Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!

You flea, you flea egg, you winter cricket you!

Brav'd in mine own house with a skein of thread!

Standing in my own house with a skein of thread!

Away! thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,

Away! You rag, you quantity, you remainder,

Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard

Or I will beat you with your yard

As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv'st!

As you shall think of arguing while you live!

I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.

I tell you, I, that you have ruined her gown.

TAILOR. Your worship is deceiv'd: the gown is made

Your worship is mistaken: the gown is made

Just as my master had direction.

Just as my master had directed.

Grumio gave order how it should be done.

GRUMIO. I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.

TAILOR. But how did you desire it should be made?

GRUMIO. Marry, sir, with needle and thread.

TAILOR. But did you not request to have it cut?

GRUMIO. Thou hast faced many things.

TAILOR. I have.

GRUMIO. Face not me. Thou hast braved many men; brave not me: I will neither be fac'd nor brav'd. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest.

Do not face me. You have braved many men; brave not me: I will neither be faced nor braved. I say to you, I told your master to cut out the gown; but I did not tell him to cut it to pieces: therefore, you are lying.

TAILOR. Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.