The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (594 page)

And seal the title with a lovely kiss!

And confirm the title with a lovely kiss!

[Exeunt PETRUCHIO, GRUMIO, and BIODELLO.]

TRANIO. He hath some meaning in his mad attire.

He has some meaning in his crazy clothing.

We will persuade him, be it possible,

We will convince him, if it is possible,

To put on better ere he go to church.

To put on better before he goes to church.

BAPTISTA. I'll after him and see the event of this.

I'll go after him and see what follows.

[Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO and ATTENDENTS.]

TRANIO. But to her love concerneth us to add

But to her love it concerns us to add

Her father's liking; which to bring to pass,

Her father's liking; which to make happen,

As I before imparted to your worship,

As I previously told your worship,

I am to get a man,--whate'er he be

I am to get a man, -- whoever he is

It skills not much; we'll fit him to our turn,--

It doesn't really matter; we'll make him suit our needs, --

And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa,

And make assurance here in Padua,

And promise here in Padua

Of greater sums than I have promised.

Even larger amounts of money than I have promised.

So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,

So you shall quietly get what you want,

And marry sweet Bianca with consent.

LUCENTIO. Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster

If it were not that my fellow teacher

Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly,

Watches Bianca's every move so carefully,

'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;

It would be good, I think, to elope;

Which once perform'd, let all the world say no,

Which once performed, let all the world say no,

I'll keep mine own despite of all the world.

I'll keep what is mine no matter what the world says.

TRANIO. That by degrees we mean to look into,

We can plan to look into that bit by bit,

And watch our vantage in this business.

And watch our advantage in this business.

We'll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio,

We'll outdo the old man, Gremio,

The narrow-prying father, Minola,

The careful father, Minola,

The quaint musician, amorous Licio;

The quaint musician, passionate Licio;

All for my master's sake, Lucentio.

[Re-enter GREMIO.]

Signior Gremio, came you from the church?

Sir Gremio, did you come from the church?

GREMIO. As willingly as e'er I came from school.

As willingly as I ever came from school.

TRANIO. And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?

GREMIO. A bridegroom, say you? 'Tis a groom indeed,

A bridegroom, you say? It is a groom indeed,

A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

TRANIO. Curster than she? Why, 'tis impossible.

More cursed than she is? Why, it's impossible.

GREMIO. Why, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend.

TRANIO. Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam.

Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's wife.

GREMIO. Tut! she's a lamb, a dove, a fool, to him.

Huh! She's a lamb, a dove, a fool - to him.

I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest

Should ask if Katherine should be his wife,

'Ay, by gogs-wouns' quoth he, and swore so loud

'Yes, by God's wounds,' he says, and swore so loud

That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book;

That, full of amazement, the priest dropped the book;

And as he stoop'd again to take it up,

And as he stooped again to pick it up,

The mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff

The insane bridegroom gave him such a punch

That down fell priest and book, and book and priest:

That the priest and the book fell:

 'Now take them up,' quoth he 'if any list.'

'Now pick them up,' he said, 'if any tilt.'

TRANIO. What said the wench, when he rose again?

What did the girl say, when he rose again?

GREMIO. Trembled and shook, for why, he stamp'd and swore

Trembled and shook, for why, he stamped and swore

As if the vicar meant to cozen him.

As if the vicar meant to cheat him.

But after many ceremonies done,

But after the many ceremonies were finished,

He calls for wine: 'A health!' quoth he, as if

He calls for wine: 'A health!' he says, as if

He had been abroad, carousing to his mates

He had been out and about, having fun with his friends

After a storm; quaff'd off the muscadel,

After a storm; drank deeply out of his cup,

And threw the sops all in the sexton's face,

And threw what was left in the sexton's face,

Having no other reason

But that his beard grew thin and hungerly

Except his beard became thin and hungry

And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.

And seemed to ask him for leftovers as was drinking.

This done, he took the bride about the neck,

This done, he grabbed the bride around the neck,

And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack

And kissed her lips with such a loud smack

That at the parting all the church did echo.

That when they separated the whole church echoed.

And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame;

And I, seeing this, came here out of shame;

And after me, I know, the rout is coming.

And after me, I know, the turning of the tables is coming.

Such a mad marriage never was before.

There was never such an insane marriage before.

Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.

Listen, listen! I hear the minstrels play.

[Music.]

[Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO, GRUMIO, and Train.]

PETRUCHIO. Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:

Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your troubles:

I know you think to dine with me to-day,

I know you think to have dinner with me today,

And have prepar'd great store of wedding cheer

And have prepared a huge feast of wedding celebration

But so it is- my haste doth call me hence,

But this is the situation - my business means I must go,

And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

And therefore I mean to leave from here.

BAPTISTA. Is't possible you will away to-night?

Is it possible you will go away tonight?

PETRUCHIO. I must away to-day before night come.

I must go away today before night comes.

Make it no wonder: if you knew my business,

Do not be surprised: if you knew my business,

You would entreat me rather go than stay.

You would beg me to go rather than stay.

And, honest company, I thank you all,

That have beheld me give away myself

That have watched me give myself away

To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife.

Dine with my father, drink a health to me.

For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

For I must go from here; and farewell to you all.

TRANIO. Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.

Let us beg you to stay until after dinner.

PETRUCHIO. It may not be.

GREMIO. Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO. It cannot be.

KATHERINA. Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO. I am content.

KATHERINA. Are you content to stay?

PETRUCHIO. I am content you shall entreat me stay;

But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

KATHERINA. Now, if you love me, stay.

PETRUCHIO. Grumio, my horse!

GRUMIO. Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses.

KATHERINA. Nay, then,

No, then,

Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;

Do what you can, I will not go today;

No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.

No, nor tomorrow, not until I please myself.

The door is open, sir; there lies your way;

You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;

You may run around while your boots are new;

For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself.

For me, I will not go until I wish.

'Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom

It is likely you'll turn out to be a grumpy groom

That take it on you at the first so roundly.

That acts like this from the very first.

PETRUCHIO. O Kate! content thee: prithee be not angry.

Oh Kate! Be content: please do not be angry.

KATHERINA. I will be angry: what hast thou to do? Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.

I will be angry: what can you do about it? Father, be quiet; he shall stay at my convenience.

GREMIO. Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.

Yes, by Mary, sir, it's starting.

KATHERINA. Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:

Gentleman, let us go forward to the bridal dinner:

I see a woman may be made a fool,

If she had not a spirit to resist.

If she does not have the spirit to resist.

PETRUCHIO. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.

They shall go forward, Kate, at your command.

Obey the bride, you that attend on her;

Obey the bride, you that serve her;