The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1084 page)

ULYSSES.

Troy, yet upon his basis, had been down,

And the great Hector's sword had lack'd a master,

But for these instances:

The specialty of rule hath been neglected;

And look how many Grecian tents do stand

Hollow upon this plain, so many hollow factions.

When that the general is not like the hive,

To whom the foragers shall all repair,

What honey is expected? Degree being vizarded,

Th' unworthiest shows as fairly in the mask.

The heavens themselves, the planets, and this centre,

Observe degree, priority, and place,

Insisture, course, proportion, season, form,

Office, and custom, in all line of order;

And therefore is the glorious planet Sol

In noble eminence enthron'd and spher'd

Amidst the other, whose med'cinable eye

Corrects the ill aspects of planets evil,

And posts, like the commandment of a king,

Sans check, to good and bad. But when the planets

In evil mixture to disorder wander,

What plagues and what portents, what mutiny,

What raging of the sea, shaking of earth,

Commotion in the winds! Frights, changes, horrors,

Divert and crack, rend and deracinate,

The unity and married calm of states

Quite from their fixture! O, when degree is shak'd,

Which is the ladder of all high designs,

The enterprise is sick! How could communities,

Degrees in schools, and brotherhoods in cities,

Peaceful commerce from dividable shores,

The primogenity and due of birth,

Prerogative of age, crowns, sceptres, laurels,

But by degree, stand in authentic place?

Take but degree away, untune that string,

And hark what discord follows! Each thing melts

In mere oppugnancy: the bounded waters

Should lift their bosoms higher than the shores,

And make a sop of all this solid globe;

Strength should be lord of imbecility,

And the rude son should strike his father dead;

Force should be right; or, rather, right and wrong-

Between whose endless jar justice resides-

Should lose their names, and so should justice too.

Then everything includes itself in power,

Power into will, will into appetite;

And appetite, an universal wolf,

So doubly seconded with will and power,

Must make perforce an universal prey,

And last eat up himself. Great Agamemnon,

This chaos, when degree is suffocate,

Follows the choking.

And this neglection of degree it is

That by a pace goes backward, with a purpose

It hath to climb. The general's disdain'd

By him one step below, he by the next,

That next by him beneath; so ever step,

Exampl'd by the first pace that is sick

Of his superior, grows to an envious fever

Of pale and bloodless emulation.

And 'tis this fever that keeps Troy on foot,

Not her own sinews. To end a tale of length,

Troy in our weakness stands, not in her strength.

Troy, which is still standing on its foundations, would have been defeated,

and great Hector would be dead, except for these reasons:

the principles of good government have been forgotten;

look how many Greek tents stand

empty on this plain, each one represents a false faction.

When the leader is not like the hive

to which all the worker bees will return,

what honey can result? When everyone wears a mask

the lowest looks as good as the highest.

The heavens themselves, the planets and this earth,

follow rank, priority and position,

regularity, direction, proportion, season, form,

office and tradition, all according to their rank.

And so the glorious planet of the sun is

placed on a throne on its noble heights and crowned

amongst the others, its healing eye

keeps all the planets in alignment

and speeds, like the orders of the King,

without pause, to good and bad. But when the planets

wander into an evil conjunction,

what plagues and evil signs, what mutiny,

what raging of the sea, shaking of the earth,

storms in the winds, terrors, changes, horrors,

divide, lead astray, tear up

the peace and unity of countries

absolutely from their roots! When rank is forgotten,

which is the path which leads to all noble things,

the business will go badly. How could communities,

ranks in universities and guilds in cities,

peaceful business between distant countries,

the rights of inheritance,

respect for age, crowns, sceptres, laurel wreaths,

survive without rank?

Take rank away,untune the string,

and listen to the cacophony which follows. Everything becomes

complete conflict. The waters of the sea

would rise up higher than the shore

and drown the whole world;

the stupid could rule through strength alone,

and a violent son would strike his father dead;

force would be right; actually, right and wrong,

which justice weighs in the balance,

would be forgotten, and so would justice itself.

Thenpower would become everything,

power would rule over sense, sense would become self-indulgent;

there would be no end to debauchery and greed,

and in the end the power would consume itself. Great Agamemnon,

this chaos is what happens

when rank is forgotten.

Forgetting about rank means

that when we try to move forward all we do

is go backwards. The general is held in contempt

by the one a place below him, he by the next, the next

by the one beneath him; so each one

copies the evils of the one above him,

everyone begins to develop

a grudge against his superior.

This is what has saved Troy,

not her own forces. To cut a long story short,

Troy has survived due to our weakness, not her strength

NESTOR.

Most wisely hath Ulysses here discover'd

The fever whereof all our power is sick.

Ulysses has very wisely described

the problem afflicting our army.

AGAMEMNON.

The nature of the sickness found, Ulysses,

What is the remedy?

Now you've shown us the problem, Ulysses,

what's the solution?

ULYSSES.

The great Achilles, whom opinion crowns

The sinew and the forehand of our host,

Having his ear full of his airy fame,

Grows dainty of his worth, and in his tent

Lies mocking our designs; with him Patroclus

Upon a lazy bed the livelong day

Breaks scurril jests;

And with ridiculous and awkward action-

Which, slanderer, he imitation calls-

He pageants us. Sometime, great Agamemnon,

Thy topless deputation he puts on;

And like a strutting player whose conceit

Lies in his hamstring, and doth think it rich

To hear the wooden dialogue and sound

'Twixt his stretch'd footing and the scaffoldage-

Such to-be-pitied and o'er-wrested seeming

He acts thy greatness in; and when he speaks

'Tis like a chime a-mending; with terms unsquar'd,

Which, from the tongue of roaring Typhon dropp'd,

Would seem hyperboles. At this fusty stuff

The large Achilles, on his press'd bed lolling,

From his deep chest laughs out a loud applause;

Cries 'Excellent! 'tis Agamemnon just.

Now play me Nestor; hem, and stroke thy beard,

As he being drest to some oration.'

That's done-as near as the extremest ends

Of parallels, as like Vulcan and his wife;

Yet god Achilles still cries 'Excellent!

'Tis Nestor right. Now play him me, Patroclus,

Arming to answer in a night alarm.'

And then, forsooth, the faint defects of age

Must be the scene of mirth: to cough and spit

And, with a palsy-fumbling on his gorget,

Shake in and out the rivet. And at this sport

Sir Valour dies; cries 'O, enough, Patroclus;

Or give me ribs of steel! I shall split all

In pleasure of my spleen.' And in this fashion

All our abilities, gifts, natures, shapes,

Severals and generals of grace exact,

Achievements, plots, orders, preventions,

Excitements to the field or speech for truce,

Success or loss, what is or is not, serves

As stuff for these two to make paradoxes.

The great Achilles, who is generally thought

to be the greatest man in our army,

has been listening to everyone's praise of him,

which has made him vain of his value and he lies

in his tent, mocking our plans. He and Patroclus

while away the day lounging in bed,

making scurrilous jokes,

and with ridiculous and clumsy actions–

which, slanderer, he calls imitation–

he mimics us. Sometimes, great Agamemnon,

he pretends to be you,

and, like a strutting actor, whose wits live in

his thighs, and who thinks it's wonderful

to parade around the stage,

with great exaggeration, completely overblown,

he imitates you; and when he speaks,

it's like an untuned bell, not fitting,

with great roars which would seem excessive

from an earthquake. This dirty business

makes the huge Achilles, lounging on his bed,

give a great laugh from his huge chest,

and he cries, ‘Excellent! That's Agamemnon exactly.

Now copy Nestor; cough, and stroke your beard,

as if he was getting ready to speak.’

He does it, and is as similar to his subject

as Vulcan was to his wife;

but this great Achilles still cries, ‘excellent!

That's Nestor alright. Now, Patroclus, act him for me,

getting ready to answer a night attack.’

And then in truth, the weaknesses of age

are supposed to be funny; he acts him coughing and spitting,

with his hands shaking as he

puts on his armour. Andthis action

makes the great brave one die laughing; he cries, ‘Oh, enough, Patroclus,

or give me ribs of steel! I will burst everything

with my scornful laughter.’ And in this manner,

all our abilities, gifts, natures, shapes,

individual and group virtues which are of great merit,

achievements, plots, orders, defences,

calls to action, or speeches for truce,

success or loss, what is or is not, becomes

material for these two to mock.

NESTOR.

And in the imitation of these twain-

Who, as Ulysses says, opinion crowns

With an imperial voice-many are infect.

Ajax is grown self-will'd and bears his head

In such a rein, in full as proud a place

As broad Achilles; keeps his tent like him;

Makes factious feasts; rails on our state of war