The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1086 page)

that one will fight Hector; if no one else will, I'll do it.

NESTOR.

Tell him of Nestor, one that was a man

When Hector's grandsire suck'd. He is old now;

But if there be not in our Grecian mould

One noble man that hath one spark of fire

To answer for his love, tell him from me

I'll hide my silver beard in a gold beaver,

And in my vantbrace put this wither'd brawn,

And, meeting him, will tell him that my lady

Was fairer than his grandame, and as chaste

As may be in the world. His youth in flood,

I'll prove this truth with my three drops of blood.

Tell him about Nestor, someone who was a man

when Hector's grandfather was a baby. He's old now;

but if there is not one man in Greece,

one noble man who has a spark of fire,

who wants to defend his love, tell him from me,

I'll hide my silver beard in a golden helmet

and putarmour over these withered muscles;

and, when I meet him, I will tell him that my lady

was more beautiful than his grandmother and as pure

as any in the world. He may be in the prime of life,

but I'll stake what little blood I have left to prove this.

AENEAS.

Now heavens forfend such scarcity of youth!

Heaven forbid that you should have so few young men!

ULYSSES.

Amen.

Amen.

AGAMEMNON.

Fair Lord Aeneas, let me touch your hand;

To our pavilion shall I lead you, first.

Achilles shall have word of this intent;

So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent.

Yourself shall feast with us before you go,

And find the welcome of a noble foe.

Good Lord Aeneas, let me shake your hand;

First of all I shall take you to my tent.

Achilles shall be told about this challenge;

and every Lord of Greece also, in each tent.

You shall eat with us before you go,

and accept the welcome due to a noble enemy.

Exeunt all but ULYSSES and NESTOR

ULYSSES.

Nestor!

Nestor!

NESTOR.

What says Ulysses?

What is it Ulysses?

ULYSSES.

I have a young conception in my brain;

Be you my time to bring it to some shape.

I have a plan forming in my brain;

help me to get it into shape.

NESTOR.

What is't?

What is it?

ULYSSES.

This 'tis:

Blunt wedges rive hard knots. The seeded pride

That hath to this maturity blown up

In rank Achilles must or now be cropp'd

Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil

To overbulk us all.

It's this:

blunt wedges can split tough knots. The pride

which has been planted in arrogant Achilles

must now be cut down or else

it will start to seed, growing a plantation of the same evil

which will tower over us all.

NESTOR.

Well, and how?

I agree, how will it be done?

ULYSSES.

This challenge that the gallant Hector sends,

However it is spread in general name,

Relates in purpose only to Achilles.

This challenge that the gallant Hector has sent,

however much it's issued to everyone,

it's really only aimed at Achilles.

NESTOR.

True. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance

Whose grossness little characters sum up;

And, in the publication, make no strain

But that Achilles, were his brain as barren

As banks of Libya-though, Apollo knows,

'Tis dry enough-will with great speed of judgment,

Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose

Pointing on him.

It's true. One can see the purpose

in the little details;

and when the public announcement is made it's certain

that Achilles, even if his brain was as empty

as the Libyan Desert–though, Apollo knows,

it's empty enough–will quickly come to realise,

yes, very swiftly, that Hector's plan

is aimed at him.

ULYSSES.

And wake him to the answer, think you?

And will he answer the challenge, do you think?

NESTOR.

Why, 'tis most meet. Who may you else oppose

That can from Hector bring those honours off,

If not Achilles? Though 't be a sportful combat,

Yet in this trial much opinion dwells;

For here the Troyans taste our dear'st repute

With their fin'st palate; and trust to me, Ulysses,

Our imputation shall be oddly pois'd

In this wild action; for the success,

Although particular, shall give a scantling

Of good or bad unto the general;

And in such indexes, although small pricks

To their subsequent volumes, there is seen

The baby figure of the giant mas

Of things to come at large. It is suppos'd

He that meets Hector issues from our choice;

And choice, being mutual act of all our souls,

Makes merit her election, and doth boil,

As 'twere from forth us all, a man distill'd

Out of our virtues; who miscarrying,

What heart receives from hence a conquering part,

To steel a strong opinion to themselves?

Which entertain'd, limbs are his instruments,

In no less working than are swords and bows

Directive by the limbs.

Yes, it must be him. Who else can you think of

who could stand up to Hector,

if not Achilles? Although it's not an extreme combat,

there is a lot of reputation at stake;

the Trojans are putting our reputation

to its most extreme test; and trust me, Ulysses,

our reputation will be very much at risk

in this dangerous business; for success,

although it would be in a specific area, will make

the people think that we will succeed in the greater battle,

and such indicators, although they are very small

compare to what comes later, often show

in miniature the enormous events

which are to come afterwards. It will be thought

that the one who challenges Hector is chosen by us;

and as we all join together in our choice,

the person who goes out to represent us

becomes a man representing all our virtues;

if he fails, how good it will make the Trojans feel,

they will think very well of themselves!

When a man feels like this, he fights better,

his limbs become his weapons, no less than

the swords and bows his limbs employ.

ULYSSES.

Give pardon to my speech.

Therefore 'tis meet Achilles meet not Hector.

Let us, like merchants, show our foulest wares

And think perchance they'll sell; if not, the lustre

Of the better yet to show shall show the better,

By showing the worst first. Do not consent

That ever Hector and Achilles meet;

For both our honour and our shame in this

Are dogg'd with two strange followers.

Excuse what I say:

so it's best if Achilles doesn't fight Hector.

Let's be like shopkeepers, show our worst goods,

and see if they will sell; if they don't,

the better goods which we've kept back

will look even better in comparison. Don't agree

to allow Hector and Achilles to ever meet,

for whatever happens it looks as though

we will come out of it badly.

NESTOR.

I see them not with my old eyes. What are they?

I can't see what you mean. What are the bad results?

ULYSSES.

What glory our Achilles shares from Hector,

Were he not proud, we all should wear with him;

But he already is too insolent;

And it were better parch in Afric sun

Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,

Should he scape Hector fair. If he were foil'd,

Why, then we do our main opinion crush

In taint of our best man. No, make a lott'ry;

And, by device, let blockish Ajax draw

The sort to fight with Hector. Among ourselves

Give him allowance for the better man;

For that will physic the great Myrmidon,

Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall

His crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends.

If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off,

We'll dress him up in voices; if he fail,

Yet go we under our opinion still

That we have better men. But, hit or miss,

Our project's life this shape of sense assumes-

Ajax employ'd plucks down Achilles' plumes.

Any glory our Achilles gets from Hector,

if he wasn't arrogant, we would all share with him.

But he is already too proud;

it would be more comfortable to burn under the African sun

than to face the pride and bitter scorn in his eyes

if he beats great Hector. If he is beaten,

then we would lose the central pillar of our reputation

through the disgrace of our best man. No, we'll have a lottery,

and we'll trick blockheaded Ajax into drawing

the lot to fight with Hector; amongst ourselves

will say that Achilles is the better man,

for that will please him,

he loves to be praised, and he will

accept that he is not going to fight.

If the dull brainless Ajax comes out safely,

we should all applaud him; if he fails,

we can still maintain

that we have better men. But, win or lose,

the success of our projects comes down to this:

Ajax must take the place of Achilles.

NESTOR.

Now, Ulysses, I begin to relish thy advice;

And I will give a taste thereof forthwith

To Agamemnon. Go we to him straight.

Two curs shall tame each other: pride alone

Must tarre the mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone.

Now, Ulysses, I think this is excellent advice,

and I will pass it on at once

to Agamemnon. Let's go to him right now.

Two dogs will calm each other; they will fight

for honour, like two mastiffs with a bone.

Exeunt