The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1029 page)

observe; I give thee warning on't.

You let me stay at your own risk, Timon: I've come to

watch, I warn you.

TIMON

I take no heed of thee; thou'rt an Athenian,

therefore welcome: I myself would have no power;

prithee, let my meat make thee silent.

I take no notice of you; you're an Athenian,

so you are welcome: I can't keep you quiet,

but perhaps my meat can.

APEMANTUS

I scorn thy meat; 'twould choke me, for I should

ne'er flatter thee. O you gods, what a number of

men eat Timon, and he sees 'em not! It grieves me

to see so many dip their meat in one man's blood;

and all the madness is, he cheers them up too.

I wonder men dare trust themselves with men:

Methinks they should invite them without knives;

Good for their meat, and safer for their lives.

There's much example for't; the fellow that sits

next him now, parts bread with him, pledges the

breath of him in a divided draught, is the readiest

man to kill him: 't has been proved. If I were a

huge man, I should fear to drink at meals;

Lest they should spy my windpipe's dangerous notes:

Great men should drink with harness on their throats.

I reject your meat; it would choke me, being for flatterers,

and I will never flatter you. Oh you gods, how many

men eat Timon, and he can't see it! It makes me sad

to see so many dipping their meat in the blood of one man;

and the mad thing is, he encourages them.

It amazes me that men dare to trust other men:

I think they should invite them without their knives;

they would save their meat, and it would be safer for their lives.

There are many instances of it; the man that sits

next to him now, shares the bread with him, drinks his health

from a shared cup, is the one who is readiest

to kill him: everyone knows this. If I were a

great man, I would be afraid to drink at meals,

in case they saw the vulnerable places on my neck:

great men should drink with armour round their throats.

TIMON

My lord, in heart; and let the health go round.

My lord, your good health; and let the toast go round.

Second Lord

Let it flow this way, my good lord.

Let it flow this way, my good lord.

APEMANTUS

Flow this way! A brave fellow! he keeps his tides

well. Those healths will make thee and thy state

look ill, Timon. Here's that which is too weak to

be a sinner, honest water, which ne'er left man i' the mire:

This and my food are equals; there's no odds:

Feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods.

Apemantus' grace.

Immortal gods, I crave no pelf;

I pray for no man but myself:

Grant I may never prove so fond,

To trust man on his oath or bond;

Or a harlot, for her weeping;

Or a dog, that seems a-sleeping:

Or a keeper with my freedom;

Or my friends, if I should need 'em.

Amen. So fall to't:

Rich men sin, and I eat root.

Eats and drinks

Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus!

Flow this way! A bold chap! He keeps his eye on the tide.

All this drinking of healths will actually make you ill, Timon.

Here's something which is too weak to cause sin,

honest water, which never left any man in trouble:

my food is much the same, there is no difference between them:

those who eat feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods.

Immortal gods, I want no money;

I'm praying for no one but myself.

Never let me become so stupid,

as to trust a man on his oath or word;

or believe a harlot's tears,

or a dog that seems to be asleep,

or a jailer with my freedom,

all my friends, when I need them. Amen.

And so let's eat:

rich men sin, and I eat vegetables.

TIMON

Captain Alcibiades, your heart's in the field now.

Captain Alcibiades, your heart is on the battlefield.

ALCIBIADES

My heart is ever at your service, my lord.

My heart is always at your service, my lord.

TIMON

You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies than a

dinner of friends.

You'd rather be having breakfast with your enemies than

dinner with your friends.

ALCIBIADES

So they were bleeding-new, my lord, there's no meat

like 'em: I could wish my best friend at such a feast.

Provided they were newly bleeding, my lord, there's no meat

to match them: I'd wish my best friend was at such a feast.

APEMANTUS

Would all those flatterers were thine enemies then,

that then thou mightst kill 'em and bid me to 'em!

I wish all these flatterers were your enemies then,

then you might kill them and ask me to eat them!

First Lord

Might we but have that happiness, my lord, that you

would once use our hearts, whereby we might express

some part of our zeals, we should think ourselves

for ever perfect.

I wish we could have the privilege, my lord,

of you just once putting our affection to the test, so that

we could show a little part of our enthusiasm, that would

make us happy for ever.

TIMON

O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods

themselves have provided that I shall have much help

from you: how had you been my friends else? why

have you that charitable title from thousands, did

not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told

more of you to myself than you can with modesty

speak in your own behalf; and thus far I confirm

you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any

friends, if we should ne'er have need of 'em? they

were the most needless creatures living, should we

ne'er have use for 'em, and would most resemble

sweet instruments hung up in cases that keep their

sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished

myself poorer, that I might come nearer to you. We

are born to do benefits: and what better or

properer can we can our own than the riches of our

friends? O, what a precious comfort 'tis, to have

so many, like brothers, commanding one another's

fortunes! O joy, e'en made away ere 't can be born!

Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks: to

forget their faults, I drink to you.

Oh, do not doubt, my good friends, that the gods

have made sure I get great comfort

from you: otherwise why would you be my friend? Why

do you have that loving title from the thousands I could choose from,

if you're not firmly in my heart. I have commended

you more to myself than you could with modesty say

on your own behalf; and so I confirm your position as my friends. Oh you

gods, I think, what need do we have of any friends, if we

never have any need of them? They would be the most

useless creatures living if we never had a use for

them, they would be like sweet instruments

hung up in cases, that keep their sounds to themselves.

Why, I have often wished that I was poorer so I

might be closer to you. We are born to do good;

what is it more right that we can call our own

than the riches of our friends? Oh what a great

comfort it is to have so many sharing each other's

fortunes like brothers. It's a joy that appears (because of tears)

to disappear before it even starts! I don't think I can keep

from weeping. To cover up my faults, I drink your health.

APEMANTUS

Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.

Your crying makes them drink, Timon.

Second Lord

Joy had the like conception in our eyes

And at that instant like a babe sprung up.

We have the same joy as you,

it's mirrored in our eyes.

APEMANTUS

Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.

Ho, Ho! It makes me laugh to think how insincere you are.

Third Lord

I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.

I promise you, my lord, I found that very moving.

APEMANTUS

Much!

Very!

Tucket, within

TIMON

What means that trump?

Enter a Servant

How now?

What does that trumpet mean?

What's going on?

Servant

Please you, my lord, there are certain

ladies most desirous of admittance.

If you please, my lord, there are certain

ladies who are very keen to see you.

TIMON

Ladies! what are their wills?

Ladies! What do they want?

Servant

There comes with them a forerunner, my lord, which

bears that office, to signify their pleasures.

They have a Herald with them, my lord, who

has that position to tell you what they want.

TIMON

I pray, let them be admitted.

Please, let them in.

Enter Cupid

Cupid

Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all

That of his bounties taste! The five best senses

Acknowledge thee their patron; and come freely

To gratulate thy plenteous bosom: th' ear,

Taste, touch and smell, pleased from thy table rise;

They only now come but to feast thine eyes.

Greetings to you, good Timon, and to everyone

sharing his generosity! The five great senses

acknowledge you as their master; they have come

to praise your generosity: hearing,

taste, touch and smell, have been satisfied at your table;

all you need now is a feast for your eyes.

TIMON

They're welcome all; let 'em have kind admittance:

Music, make their welcome!

They are all welcome; let them come in;

play the music to welcome them!

Exit Cupid

First Lord

You see, my lord, how ample you're beloved.

You see, my lord, how much you're loved.

Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing

APEMANTUS

Hoy-day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!

They dance! they are mad women.

Like madness is the glory of this life.

As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.