The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1027 page)

and she won't get a penny.

TIMON

How shall she be endow'd,

if she be mated with an equal husband?

What dowry would she get,

if she had a husband of the same class?

Old Athenian

Three talents on the present; in future, all.

Three talents at the moment; in future she'll have everything.

TIMON

This gentleman of mine hath served me long:

To build his fortune I will strain a little,

For 'tis a bond in men. Give him thy daughter:

What you bestow, in him I'll counterpoise,

And make him weigh with her.

This gentleman of mine has served me for a long time:

I shall try and help him out a bit,

I'm obliged to.  Let him marry your daughter:

what you give with her, I'll match with him,

to make them both equal.

Old Athenian

Most noble lord,

Pawn me to this your honour, she is his.

Most noble Lord,

if you do me this honour, he can have her.

TIMON

My hand to thee; mine honour on my promise.

We'll shake on it; and I give you my word I'll do it.

LUCILIUS

Humbly I thank your lordship: never may

The state or fortune fall into my keeping,

Which is not owed to you!

I give your lordship my humble thanks:

for the rest of my life I'll owe

everything to you!

Exeunt LUCILIUS and Old Athenian

Poet

Vouchsafe my labour, and long live your lordship!

Accept my work, and long live your lordship!

TIMON

I thank you; you shall hear from me anon:

Go not away. What have you there, my friend?

I thank you; you shall hear from me soon:

don't go away. What have you got there, my friend?

Painter

A piece of painting, which I do beseech

Your lordship to accept.

A painting, which I beg

your lordship to accept.

TIMON

Painting is welcome.

The painting is almost the natural man;

or since dishonour traffics with man's nature,

He is but outside: these pencill'd figures are

Even such as they give out. I like your work;

And you shall find I like it: wait attendance

Till you hear further from me.

I like paintings.

Paintings are almost like man as he really is;

when dishonest reports make a man better than he is,

you can't see him: these painted figures are

exactly what they seem. I like your work;

and you shall see that I like it: stick around

until you hear from me again.

Painter

The gods preserve ye!

May the gods preserve you!

TIMON

Well fare you, gentleman: give me your hand;

We must needs dine together. Sir, your jewel

Hath suffer'd under praise.

Farewell, gentlemen: give me your hand;

we must dine together. Sir, your jewel

seems less likely to sell, due to the praise it's had.

Jeweller

What, my lord! dispraise?

What, my lord! Have people been criticising it?

TIMON

A more satiety of commendations.

If I should pay you for't as 'tis extoll'd,

It would unclew me quite.

No, it's been loaded with praise.

If I paid you according to the amount of praise,

it would ruin me.

Jeweller

My lord, 'tis rated

As those which sell would give: but you well know,

Things of like value differing in the owners

Are prized by their masters: believe't, dear lord,

You mend the jewel by the wearing it.

My Lord, it's valued

by what the sellers would pay for it: but you well know

that things are given different values depending

upon who owns them: believe me, dear lord,

you increase its value by wearing it.

TIMON

Well mock'd.

Nicely played.

Merchant

No, my good lord; he speaks the common tongue,

Which all men speak with him.

No, my good lord; he's only saying

what everyone else says.

TIMON

Look, who comes here: will you be chid?

Look who's coming: do you want to be told off?

Enter APEMANTUS

Jeweller

We'll bear, with your lordship.

We can stand it if your lordship can.

Merchant

He'll spare none.

He won't spare anyone.

TIMON

Good morrow to thee, gentle Apemantus!

Good day to you, gentle Apemantus!

APEMANTUS

Till I be gentle, stay thou for thy good morrow;

When thou art Timon's dog, and these knaves honest.

You won't get a greeting from me until I am polite;

when you have turned into your dog, and these knaves have turned honest.

TIMON

Why dost thou call them knaves? thou know'st them not.

What you call them knaves? You don't know them.

APEMANTUS

Are they not Athenians?

They are Athenians, aren't they?

TIMON

Yes.

Yes.

APEMANTUS

Then I repent not.

Then I stick to what I said.

Jeweller

You know me, Apemantus?

Do you know me, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

Thou know'st I do: I call'd thee by thy name.

You know I do: I called you by your name.

TIMON

Thou art proud, Apemantus.

You are proud, Apemantus.

APEMANTUS

Of nothing so much as that I am not like Timon.

Mainly of the fact that I am not like Timon.

TIMON

Whither art going?

Where are you going?

APEMANTUS

To knock out an honest Athenian's brains.

To knock out the brains of an honest Athenian.

TIMON

That's a deed thou'lt die for.

You'll be hanged for that.

APEMANTUS

Right, if doing nothing be death by the law.

Yes, if doing nothing is a capital offence.

TIMON

How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?

What do you think of this picture, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

The best, for the innocence.

I like its simplicity best.

TIMON

Wrought he not well that painted it?

Didn't the painter do it well?

APEMANTUS

He wrought better that made the painter; and yet

he's but a filthy piece of work.

The one who made the painter did better; but

he's still a filthy piece of work.

Painter

You're a dog.

You're a dog.

APEMANTUS

Thy mother's of my generation: what's she, if I be a dog?

Your mother is the same as me: what's she, if I'm a

dog?

TIMON

Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?

Will you dine with me, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

No; I eat not lords.

No; I don't eat lords.

TIMON

An thou shouldst, thou 'ldst anger ladies.

If you did, you would upset ladies.

APEMANTUS

O, they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.

Oh, they eat lords; that's how they get swollen bellies.

TIMON

That's a lascivious apprehension.

That's a dirty thought.

APEMANTUS

So thou apprehendest it: take it for thy labour.

That's how you look at it; you're welcome to it.

TIMON

How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?

What do you think of this jewel, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

Not so well as plain-dealing, which will not cost a

man a doit.

I don't like it as much as honest dealing, which doesn't cost

a man a cent.

TIMON

What dost thou think 'tis worth?

What do you think it's worth?

APEMANTUS

Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!

It's not worth my thinking about. Hello there, poet!

Poet

How now, philosopher!

Hello there, philosopher!

APEMANTUS

Thou liest.

You're lying.

Poet

Art not one?

Aren't you one?

APEMANTUS

Yes.

Yes.

Poet

Then I lie not.

Then I'm not lying.

APEMANTUS

Art not a poet?

Aren't you a poet?

Poet

Yes.

Yes.

APEMANTUS

Then thou liest: look in thy last work, where thou

hast feigned him a worthy fellow.

Then you are lying: look in your last work, where you

described Timon as a good fellow.

Poet

That's not feigned; he is so.

That's not lying; he is.

APEMANTUS

Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy

labour: he that loves to be flattered is worthy o'

the flatterer. Heavens, that I were a lord!

Yes, he's good for you, to pay you for your

work: someone loves to be flattered deserves

to have to put up with flatterers. Gods, I wish I were a lord!

TIMON

What wouldst do then, Apemantus?

What would you do then, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

E'en as Apemantus does now; hate a lord with my heart.

Just the same as I do now; I would hate a lord with

all my heart.

TIMON