The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (512 page)

You will play only Pyramus since Pyramus

sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a

is a good lucking man, a noble man like one you would

summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man:

find in the summer, a handsome and chivalrous man.

therefore you must needs play Pyramus.

You are the only one who can be such a man.

BOTTOM

Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best

Fine, I will do it. And how would you like my beard

to play it in?

to look for the part?

QUINCE

Why, what you will.

However you want.

BOTTOM

I will discharge it in either your straw-colour

I could wear a straw colored

beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain

beard, or an orange-red one, or a darker red

beard, or your French-crown-colour beard, your

beard, or one as yellow as the French coin called a crown.

perfect yellow.

QUINCE

Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and

Some French kings have no hair at all,

then you will play bare-faced. But, masters, here

so you would have to go without a beard. Anyway, here

are your parts: and I am to entreat you, request

is everyone’s part. I must beg and ask

you and desire you, to con them by to-morrow night;

you all to learn them by tomorrow night.

and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the

We will meet in the forest, about a mile

town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, for if

from town, and rehearse by the moonlight. If

we meet in the city, we shall be dogged with

we were to meet in the city, people would discover us

company, and our devices known. In the meantime I

and the play, and ruin it. In the meantime,

will draw a bill of properties, such as our play

I will list everything we need for the play.

wants. I pray you, fail me not.

Please, do everything I ask.

BOTTOM

We will meet; and there we may rehearse most

We will meet and rehearse

obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect: adieu.

loudly and wonderfully. Work hard. Learn it perfectly. Goodbye.

QUINCE

At the duke's oak we meet.

In the forest by the palace we will meet.

BOTTOM

Enough; hold or cut bow-strings.

Ok, be there or do not meet us again.

Exeunt

A wood near Athens.

Enter, from opposite sides, a FAIRY, and PUCK

PUCK

How now, spirit! whither wander you?

Hello, spirit! Where are you going?

FAIRY

Over hill, over dale,

Over hill and valley

Thorough bush, thorough brier,

and through the bush and thorns,

Over park, over pale,

over parks and gardens

Thorough flood, thorough fire,

and through the water and the fire.

I do wander everywhere,

I go everywhere

Swifter than the moon's sphere;

faster than it takes the moon to rise and fall

And I serve the fairy queen,

In order to serve the queen of the fairies

To dew her orbs upon the green.

By watering the flowers with dew.

The cowslips tall her pensioners be:

The cowslip flowers guard her –

In their gold coats spots you see;

Do you see the spots in their golden petals?

Those be rubies, fairy favours,

Those are rubies, fairy gifts,

In those freckles live their savours:

And that is where their sweet smell comes from.

I must go seek some dewdrops here

I must find some dewdrops

And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.

And hang one on each cowslip flower.

Farewell, thou lob of spirits; I'll be gone:

Goodbye, you bad fairy – I must leave

Our queen and all our elves come here anon.

Since the queen and the elves will be here soon.

PUCK

The king doth keep his revels here to-night:

The king is having a party here tonight

Take heed the queen come not within his sight;

So be careful to keep the queen away –

For Oberon is passing fell and wrath,

King Oberon is very angry

Because that she as her attendant hath

Since Queen Titania took a new servant,

A lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king;

A beautiful human boy stolen from an Indian king.

She never had so sweet a changeling;

She had never stolen so sweet an orphan

And jealous Oberon would have the child

And so Oberon is jealous and desires the boy

Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild;

As his servant when he wanders the wild forests.

But she perforce withholds the loved boy,

The queen refuses to give him her boy

Crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy:

And dotes on him, putting flowers in his hair.

And now they never meet in grove or green,

Now, they never meet together in the woods

By fountain clear, or spangled starlight sheen,

Or by a clear pond, or under the night sky,

But, they do square, that all their elves for fear

Except to argue so fiercely that their elves

Creep into acorn-cups and hide them there.

Hide in acorn shells from them.

FAIRY

Either I mistake your shape and making quite,

Either I am mistaken

Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite

Or you are that cunning prankster fairy

Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he

Named Robin Goodfellow. Isn’t it you

That frights the maidens of the villagery;

Who scares the women in the village,

Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern

Who skims the cream off of the milk, and sometimes increase the work

And bootless make the breathless housewife churn;

Of the housewife who is trying to churn butter

And sometime make the drink to bear no barm;

By making it stay milk?

Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm?

Isn’t it you who makes wanderers lost and laughs at them?

Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck,

Some call you Hobgoblin or Puck,

You do their work, and they shall have good luck:

And whoever does gets your help, and you give them good luck.

Are not you he?

Isn’t that you?

PUCK

Thou speak'st aright;

You are correct,

I am that merry wanderer of the night.

I am that happy traveler of the night.

I jest to Oberon and make him smile

I make jokes for King Oberon and make him smile –

When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile,

Sometimes by tricking a calm, domestic horse

Neighing in likeness of a filly foal:

By neighing and tricking him that I am a young filly –

And sometime lurk I in a gossip's bowl,

And sometimes I hide in an old woman’s bowl of ale

In very likeness of a roasted crab,

Looking like a roasted crabapple

And when she drinks, against her lips I bob

And when she drinks, I bob up to her lips

And on her wither'd dewlap pour the ale.

Making her spill the drink all over her wrinkled neck.

The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale,

A wise aunt telling a sad story

Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me;

Sometimes mistakes me for a three-foot high stool

Then slip I from her bum, down topples she,

And then when she sits, I slip from her rear and she falls,

And 'tailor' cries, and falls into a cough;

Crying out in pain and coughing –  

And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh,

Then everyone laughs, holding their sides,

And waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear

And have fun, and sneeze and swear:

A merrier hour was never wasted there.

A more joyful time was never had.

But, room, fairy! here comes Oberon.

But make way, fairy! Oberon is coming.

FAIRY

And here my mistress. Would that he were gone!

And here is Queen Titania! I wish he were gone!

Enter, from one side, OBERON, with his train; from the other, TITANIA, with hers

OBERON

Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.

It makes me feel ill to see you, Titania.

TITANIA

What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence:

Are you jealous, Oberon? Fairies, come along:

I have forsworn his bed and company.

I have promised not to sleep with him or speak to him.

OBERON

Tarry, rash wanton: am not I thy lord?

Stay, impulsive witch: aren’t I your King, and husband?

TITANIA

Then I must be thy lady: but I know

Then I must be your Queen and wife, but I know

When thou hast stolen away from fairy land,

That you snuck away from fairy-land

And in the shape of Corin sat all day,

And changed your shape to that of a shepherd, spending all day

Playing on pipes of corn and versing love