The Body Language Rules (28 page)

direction . Used frequently by both former British 386 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S

Prime Minister Tony Blair and current British Prime

Minister Gordon Brown . metronomic gestures: A term I coined to describe finger, foot

or even pen drumming or tapping . This works like

a mini metronome, placing pressure on a speaker to

hurry up . micro-gestures: Fleeting gestures or facial movements that

can be almost invisible to the naked eye, but which

are nonetheless seen as significant in body language

terms . Often analyzed by watching video footage in

slow motion . mime gestures: As the name implies, these gestures tend to

mime the action they describe, like wobbling a hand

in front of the face when asking if someone would like

a drink, or placing the thumb by the ear and the little

finger to the mouth to signal "call me ." mimic gestures: Gestures that mime or copy real objects

or actions . mirroring: This is a term for postural echo, although

mirroring will usually be applied to conscious copying

of another person's movements or pace to create a

feeling of empathy or rapport . mirthless Smile: Term coined by me to describe wide-mouth

smiles that don't reach the eyes . mock-attack gestures: Ritualized attack movements that can

be used as a first-stage sexual exploration/flirt ritual or

just to break down formality . B O D y LA n gU A g e D I c T IO n ARy 387

mouth-shrug: The mouth-shrug resembles a small, upturned

smile with the chin crumpled, the lips raised in the

middle and dropped at the corners . It's a very common

social "smile," especially in the workplace . It suggests

long suffering and stoicism .

nonverbal Leakage: Body language giveaways of true feelings .

Overcongruent Body Language: When the speaker overexag-

gerates his or her gestures or facial expressions to put

the message across . This overacting is often seen as

false or patronizing . Overkill Signals: Overreaction signals . Oxbow mouth: Similar to the mouth-shrug but with a firmer

chin and jaw line, signaling determination or even

stubbornness .

Pacing: Picking up on someone's pace of movement and

copying it to create empathy . Palm Displays: Showing the palm can be considered a signal

of honesty unless it's overly displayed . Palm Rocking: Waving a hand from side to side to signal

"maybe ." Personal heckling: When your body language signals appear

to disagree with your verbal message . Personal zone: A distance of about 45�100 centimeters

around someone . 388 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S

Physiological Signals: Physical body language responses like

blushing, sweating, and so on . Pinging Smile: A sudden, exaggerated smile . Pit Baring: A term I coined to describe the act of sitting

back and placing your hands behind your head . This

bares all the delicate body parts, including the armpits,

and suggests arrogance . Women might toss their hair

around or preen to get the same effect . Pointless Point: A term I coined to describe the way royals

and some politicians point toward nothing in

particular in public to feign interest and act directive

and in charge . Poker Face: Used by poker players to avoid other players

reading their expression, this method of sitting very

still and moving very little, with a deadpan facial

expression, is often used outside the poker room . Postural congruence: Sitting or standing in the same way

as others . Postural echo: Like mirroring, copying someone's body

language and pace of movement, possibly without

realizing . Power-pat: Another status-boosting gesture used by politi-

cians and the like . The shoulder-pat is a signal of

almost parental approval . Therefore, by patting

another politician at a critical moment, the patter

manages to appear friendly but at the same time takes

the parental and therefore higher-status role . B O D y LA n gU A g e D I c T IO n ARy 389

Power-shakes: Handshakes that are intended to emphasize

high power or status, like getting your hand on top in

the shake or crushing the other person's hand . Precision gesture: Often a pinching together of the thumb

and index finger with the fingers pointing upward to

suggest precise, exact knowledge . Primary emotions: Your instinctive emotions like fear, anger,

and so on . Pseudo-infantile Remotivator: Displays of childish helplessness

used to promote noncritical, nurturing responses . Public zone: Distance of over 12 feet from another . Pupil Dilation: Usually occurs when the watcher looks at

something pleasant or someone they love . Courtesans

in earlier centuries used to put drops of belladonna, a

poison, in their eyes to mimic the effect .

Raised Steeple: When a steepling gesture is performed with

all the fingers pointing upward . Relic gestures: Any gesture that has outlived its original

meaning . Remotivating Action: An action or gesture used to close down

the existing mood and replace it with a new one . Apes

that feel threatened will often employ flirt signals to

change the aggressive ape's thoughts from fight to sex . Rictus: A rigid, stretched smile . Ritualized combat: Gestures that mimic aggressive or fight

gestures, used as a warning albeit subconsciously, for 390 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S

example, pacing, making fists, jutting the jaw, and

so on .

Salutation Displays: Forms of greeting . Schematic gestures: More stylized or abbreviated versions of

mimic gestures . Scissors Stance: Standing with your legs crossed . Screensaver Face: A term I coined to describe the face we

pull in between social displays, usually a deadpan, or

even angry or anxious-looking face . Scrotch: The scratching of the crotch area to gain sexual

attention, usually performed by males . Secondary emotions: Emotions that are prompted by your

own thoughts, like worry or anxiety . Self-motivational gestures: These are a little like winding up a

clock--that is, turning one hand around in a circle,

pacing back and forth, and so on--in a bid to get the

brain into top gear . Self-policing: When someone is so aware of their body

language they begin to self-correct visibly . Self-reward gestures: Jumping in the air, hugging yourself,

and so on . Self-stab gesture: Poking your own finger or pen into

yourself . Self-stroke: Stroking any part of your body, usually to either

self-calm or to seduce . B O D y LA n gU A g e D I c T IO n ARy 391

Shortfall Signals: Under-reaction signals . Signature gestures: Any gesture frequently or possibly

famously used by someone, especially a celebrity . Social zone: Distance of 5�10 feet away from another

person . Spatial Behavior: Your use of space in relation to others . Spatial Rituals: The way people tend to keep patterns of

space in certain situations . Splaying: Standing or sitting with legs wide apart . Status Displays: How we show our real or ideal status to the

world at large . Steepling gestures: Any hand gesture where the fingers are

linked or pointed upward in the shape of a steeple .

Usually seen as a Power Posture . Stotting: Taken from the animal kingdom, a bouncing style

of walk used to signal energy and enthusiasm in order

to attract a mate . Stretched Social Smile: The wide, overly exaggerated smiling

that people do at boring social events . Submissive Signals: Status-lowering or compliant signals like

body lowering or gaze dropping . Suppressed Smile: When the lips are pressed together to

minimize or conceal a smile . Symbolic gestures: Used to signal feelings or ideas . Sympathetic nervous System: Prompts fight-or-flight responses

while parasympathetic system attempts to self-calm . 392 T he B O Dy LA ng U A ge R U Le S

Technical gestures: Trained gestures used in certain profes-

sions where speech might not be possible . Tell: The terms "tell" and "show" have been coined by

some psychologists to describe body language signals . Territorial Behavior: Body language marking of territory

or ownership . Thumb of Power: Usually referring to pointing with the

knuckles but also placing the thumb down on top of the

knuckles in a power gesture . Used a lot by politicians . Tie-signs: Silent, subtle body language signals that people in

a close relationship throw to one another, like a nod,

pat or eye-roll, and so on . Tongue-flick: A very quick tongue-dart, often caused

by embarrassment . Tongue-lick: When the tongue licks around the lips and

corners of the mouth, signaling pleasure or antici-

pation, possibly sexual . Tongue-poke: When the tongue is displayed at the middle of

the mouth, signaling rejection or disgust . Trained Actions: Gestures and movements we have to learn,

like typing or changing gear in a car . Transfix: Holding a pose when you've been interrupted while

speaking to show a desire to return to your point . Triumph Displays: Raised arms, air punching, and so on . Any

performed or spontaneous gesture that raises the status

at a point of victory or pseudo-victory . B O D y LA n gU A g e D I c T IO n ARy 393

Truncated gestures: Any unfinished gesture .

Weighing hands: A two-handed gesture when hands seem

to mimic weighing scales, signaling the speaker is

weighing options . Wrapping: Wrapping yourself in your hands or arms, like

self-hugging . A self-comfort gesture .

zones of Proximity: How close you stand to someone else .

(Usually defined as three key zones . See Personal

Zone, Public Zone and Social Zone .)

A uThoR Judi James is a leading television expert in body language, social behavior, image, workplace culture, and commu- nication skills and has her own series, Naked Celebrity . Judi also appears regularly on Big Brother on the Couch, The Paul O'Grady Show, The Xtra Factor, Newsnight, and Sky News .

Judi started her career as a leading catwalk model and trained many big names at her modeling school in Chelsea, including Naomi Campbell . She has had six novels published, including the bestseller Supermodel, and has written ten nonfiction books . Judi also writes regular weekly columns for You magazine and has a celebrity problem page in Zest .