The Beats in Rift (4 page)

“Yes, show me how. Let me practice.”

“Fine I’ll teach you,” I quickly reply before Justin can, feeling my body heat with anticipation. Her eyes narrow on me.

“Not you, Rift. You have a girlfriend, that wouldn’t be fair to her. I meant Justin.” The heat in my body fizzles and is replaced with ice shards. Justin’s eyebrows are in his hairline.

“Beats, your first kiss is meant to be special,”

Her laughter startles him. “Well Jared’s didn’t sound special, and you are special to me, so just teach me. I don’t want to suck or crumble into a nervous heap if he tries to kiss me.”

She pleads in her cute voice that has gotten her what she wants from us since the day we met her. He looks up at me then back to her.

“Okay, fine. Of course I will.”

She beams at him, turning her body towards him.

“Now?” he stutters.

She laughs again, shaking her head in confusion. “Why not?”

I clench my fists so hard my knuckles turn white.

Justin shrugs. “Okay, just relax and copy what I do.”

He moves towards her, putting his hands on her hips and leaning forward. His lips brush hers, he adds more pressure before pulling back slightly. I can’t believe I’m watching myself kiss her, only it’s not me. It’s my mirror image, my freaking brother kissing the girl I love!

“Open your mouth,” he whispers.

Dipping his tongue, hers swipes out to meet his. Her hands press against his shoulders as she turns her head for better access. They look awkward.

“Enough!” I shout, making them both jump apart.

Striding towards her, my hand grasping the nape of her neck, I pull her to her feet. Bringing my other hand to clasp her cheek, I crush my lips down onto her soft, warm mouth. I caress her lips, coaxing them to part with a flick of my tongue. She opens willingly, her tongue meeting my own with hunger. My skin heats as her hands slide up my back, igniting my lust further. When she moans into my mouth I want to write a song about the sound of that moan. Pulling away reluctantly, we’re both left panting.

“You don’t need to be nervous, Beats. You’re an amazing kisser, but these lips are meant for me, not Drake.”

Her violet eyes are glazed, her chest still rising and falling with each needy gulp for air. She stares at me for what feels like hours before Justin breaks the spell.

“I guess your plans for the dance have changed.” He chuckles.

“What about Jess?” she asks in a whisper.

“She’s not you. I’ve waited long enough for you to be ready to date, there’s no way in hell I’m letting it be with someone who isn’t me.”

“Okay,” she murmurs. Just like that!

“I’m going to go order pizza,” Justin informs us, leaving us alone. I haven’t taken my eyes from hers.

“You okay with this, Beats?”

She bites her lip. Her teeth push down into it making me groan a little; I brush my thumb over the plump red lip, releasing it from her attack.

“Kiss me again,” she breathes. So I do, and I don’t stop from that day on.

“YOU’RE SIXTEEN NOW so I thought you might like that.” I look back down at the present my Mom deemed appropriate for my sixteenth birthday.

She walks into the kitchen, leaving her slimy boyfriend to slide up next to me. His heated morning breath stains my cheek with a hot mist as he whispers into my ear. “You can model them for me any time.”

Swallowing the vomit trying to force its way up from his disgusting suggestion, I shift in my seat to move away from him. I’m surprised he’s here. When I woke up last night he wasn’t the one occupying my Mom’s bed. I’d needed the bathroom, and tip toeing quietly across the landing I’d knocked straight into the hard chest of Jared and Justin’s Dad. Air left my lungs as shock settled in my stomach. Why would he be here with my Mom? He hated me because to him, I was lower class, my Mom was someone he spoke about in harsh whispers, yet he was in her room with her doing God knows what. Before I could speak he’d pinned me against the wall. “If you tell my boys I was here, I will force them to never see you again. Do you hear me?” he had snarled with hatred, his spit spraying my face, his hands so tight on my arms I was sure I would be left with bruises.

I hate the way their Dad treats me. On the rare times he acknowledges me, it’s with pure revulsion in his eyes, even though his eyes have begun to roam my body now I’m getting older. I’m positive the more he looks at me, the more he hates me for his own perverseness.

Mom saunters back into the room, dragging me from my thoughts.

“God, Meds. You could be grateful instead of being such a prude. I’m not stupid, you know? I’ve seen how you and Jared are together. I’m not naïve enough to think you two don’t sleep together.”

Her boyfriend’s eyes were glued on me. I shudder as his mind unclothes me. “Actually, Mom, we don’t. I’m too young for that.”

Her boyfriend’s groan has Mom’s eyes darting to him. “Don’t let her fool you, Brian. She’s been messing with those boys since she was thirteen.”

I get up, desperate to escape. “Thanks for this, Mom.”

I scurry down the hall and into my room, holding up the thread of lace she called underwear. I stuff it into the back of my closet. She’s wrong about me and Jared. We are all over each other because we love each other with a passion I’ve never known or seen before. His love was like oxygen to me and I was always gasping for breath, I live and breathe him. He’s the last thought in my mind at night, and my first thought when I wake up. We write songs together, play together, study together, laugh together. We’re inseparable, just like we always have been, except now we kiss and touch. We were waiting before we took our relationship further. Waiting for my sixteenth birthday. Waiting for today.

Dressing quickly, I hurry out of the house.

WHEN I GET to school, Jared and Justin are waiting for me, their grins infectious. Jared and I had added violet streaks to our hair at the weekend, and he looks so rock God today, sporting low rise jeans, boots, a long sleeve black t-shirt and a chain hanging from a loop of his jeans. Rushing towards me, he picks me up into an embrace, swinging me around.

“Happy birthday, beautiful.” His lips crush against mine, my legs wrapping around his waist, my arms around his neck.

“Put her down, Jared. PDA much?” Justin gags.

We giggle into each other’s mouths. Jared slides me down his body until my feet touch the floor. I’m grabbed by my arm and spun to face Justin. Picking me up, he squeezes me tight. Returning his embrace, I struggle for breath. “Happy birthday, Beats.”

“Thank you.”

He releases me with a grin. Jared’s hand slips into mine. “So, this is from both me and Justin.” He places a long black velvet box in my palm. My eyes flash to him then Justin, gaining a chuckle from them.

“Open it.”

Snapping the box open, my vision is filled with a beautiful necklace lying against black velvet. I gulp past the lump forming in my throat. Jared takes the box, pulling the chain free.

“The charms speak for themselves,”

The rope chain has three charms dangling from the centre. “The guitar is you.”

He kisses me as he lifts the chain over my head and around my neck. Justin points to the football. “Obviously that’s me.” He grins.

I move the charms through my fingers. “The drum is you,” I whisper, throwing myself into Jared’s chest, climbing his body to wrap myself around him. He sighs into my neck, his arms securing me to him.

“Our Dad’s going away on business for the night, so Mom said we can have a few people over. I was hoping you would crash at our place.”

A smile lifts my lips, and I nod. Justin walks away swearing under his breath as Jared’s lips attack mine.

THE DAY PASSES in a blur of classes, well wishes, and daydreams of what the night will mean for us. I can’t wait to give myself completely to Jared. He owns me already, and this will cement that. The anticipation leaves me lightheaded.

After school we hit the supermarket for snacks and drinks. Justin left to go to football practice; he has an important game approaching so the coach is riding him hard, making the team do extra practice.

As Jared drives me home to get an overnight bag, his eyes keep gliding over to me, a coy smile gracing his full, suckable lips, making me squirm in my seat.

Pulling up outside my house my stomach twists, and not in a good way.

“What the fuck?”

“Oh, God. Rift, let’s just go to your house,” I whisper.

His head turns to me. “Beats, that’s my Dad’s car.” He points, confusion evident in his tone.

“Yeah, I know. If he sees you driving he will get mad at you, so let’s go.”

He shakes his head. “He’s meant to be out of town. If he’s come over here he must be looking for me or he would be at Justin’s practice. Shit! Maybe it’s Mom, she’s been acting so weird lately.”

I’m mute, anxiety making me shake.

He pops the door open, jumping out. Adrenaline flushes through my veins. Opening my door I rush from his truck, grabbing his arm, trying to stop him racing up the path to my house.

“Rift, please.” My voice is barely a whisper. He looks down at me then to my firm hand on his arm. He senses it, right in this moment. His eyes flutter as the pain of betrayal in my face registers to him. I feel it in the air around me as his expression changes from concerned, to suspicious, to angry.

“What the fuck is going on, Beats?”

He doesn’t let me answer, pulling free from my grasp and opening my front door with ease. She was never one for safety or privacy, my mother. He rushes down the dingy, badly lit hallway. I follow, tears already flowing down my cheeks. The chorus of loud sex; my Mom moaning and his Dad grunting fills the silence between us. The house is small and the walls are thin. I’m used to hearing my Mom, she isn’t shy. But watching the color drain from Jared’s face leaves me ashamed of who I am, of whose I am.

“You fucking knew. How could you look me in the face every day?”

My stomach jolts. “I… I’m so...rry, Rift.”

His eyes are cold, pure ice replacing the heat I usually find there. Pushing past me with force, he leaves me staring after him.

“Wait! Please don’t leave me!” A choked sob escapes me.

He doesn’t even turn around when he mutters, “We’re done.”

Collapsing to the ground from the weakness in my knees, I gasp for air. Mom’s door opens, and Mr Jacobs looks out and sees Jared’s back as he slams the door closed.

He rushes me, gripping me around the throat and dragging me up from the floor then slamming me hard against the wall. My head collides with the cheap plaster, denting it. I struggle for breath, his image blurring from the build-up of tears. The smell from his sweaty naked form seeps into my nose making me want to gag but I can’t do anything his squeezing my throat tighter. He can kill me, it doesn’t matter. I can’t go back to being the girl before Jared and Justin. I can’t survive without them in my life, not after knowing what it’s like to have them. My love for Jared is what powers my body. How can I function without his love in return?

“You fucking bitch. I told you what would happen if you told my boys.”