That Summer (Part Two) (11 page)

“What
makes you think I’m sad?” I enquire, startled by his accurate observation.

“Your
eyes.” He answers simply. “They’re full of sadness.”

There’s
a moment of silence between us as we gaze at one another, trying to figure out
what the other person is thinking.

“Oh…”

“But
tonight I haven’t seen that. You really started to enjoy yourself for the first
time.”

“You’re
right!” I exclaim exuberantly. “Maybe I should do this more often.”

“So
long as
you
invite me and no one else next time!” He jokes.

“Deal.”

We
grin at one another and for the first time in three years I feel… ok. It’s
bewildering and bizarre because the only positive thing to come out of tonight
was getting to know Kevin and I’m still certain that I have no feelings for
him. I guess it has just been nice being able to speak and get to know someone
who doesn’t know about my past. Someone who has no idea about what happened and
someone I can truly forget about all of my problems with. It’s refreshing and
I’m starting to question why I didn’t do it sooner.

Rita
Ora’s ‘Body on Me’ starts to play and I beam at Kevin in excitement.

“I
absolutely
love
this song!” I squeal, extraordinarily happily that
they’re playing it on the night of my birthday.

“It’s
a good tune.” He agrees, watching me in amusement. “You want to dance?”

“Oh,
I don’t dance.” I inform him hastily. “Well, not in public.”

“But
you dance in the privacy of your bedroom when no one is watching?”

“Sometimes.”
I confess, feeling my cheeks turn pink. “However, I will vehemently deny that
if you tell anyone, do you understand?”

“Alright,
alright. I won’t breathe a word.” He laughs lightly. “Listen, I’m going to go
and get another drink, do you want one?”

“No,
I’m ok thanks. I’m going to get going in a few minutes.”

It
might sound odd that I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol tonight but for me
it’s normal. I don’t enjoy drinking and have always felt that there’s something
wrong if you rely on alcohol to have a good time. I guess I’m just slightly
drunk off the atmosphere and the fact that I’m not stuck at home feeling sorry
for myself on my birthday.

While
Kevin’s at the bar, I take a look at the rest of the girls sitting next to us.
Charlotte left ages ago and I don’t know where Corrine has gone. I spot her a
couple of minutes later, stumbling back from the toilets. Her hair looks
ruffled and her lipstick is smeared which makes me think she’s had a quick
fumble with someone she met on the way there.

“Are
you alright?” I ask her, concerned about how much she’s had to drink.

“Erm…
yeah. I think so.” She murmurs, wavering slightly.

“Corrine,
what happened?”

Her
red hair is extremely tussled and she’s short of breath, struggling to remain
focused.

“I
was on my way to the powder room when I encountered this guy in the hallway. He
was breathtakingly gorgeous and I couldn’t believe it when he started talking
to me. He was asking loads of questions about why I was out tonight and who I
was with, wanting to know if we were celebrating something and I answered his
questions but there was something else that seemed odd. He looked angry and I
mean
really
angry. The next thing I know he has me pressed right up
against the wall and we’re kissing. He was all over me and it didn’t take me
long to respond to him. He was perfect, Serena. I’ve never been kissed like
that in my entire life… it was almost violent but still so erotic.” She pauses
for a moment, placing her hand against her chest. “The next thing he throws me
aside and has disappeared. He just discarded me like I was a piece of garbage
or something and vanished.”

“Corrine,
that’s awful. Do you want me to tell security?”

She
looks really shaken up and I long to help her in some way. The guy she’s just
been describing sounds fairly odd and I don’t want her to be fearful of bumping
into him for the rest of the night.

“No,
it’s fine. I was stupid for letting him kiss me in the first place.” She
assures me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “It was just like he had something
to prove and as soon as he did that, he tossed me aside.”

“Guys
can be jerks.” I empathise, smiling weakly.

“Tell
me about it. Although… you and Kevin seem to be getting on really well.”

She
grins at me and winks, making more insinuations which I don’t need right now.

“Don’t
even go there.” I warn her sternly. “We’re just friends.”

“If
you say so.”

“Listen,
thanks for making me come out tonight. I know I sometimes keep my distance at
work but I really do appreciate you including me like you have done these past
few months.”

“You’re
welcome, Serena.” She replies sincerely. “Happy birthday.”

Kevin
remains truthful to his word and we share a taxi on the way home, he waits to
see that I make it inside my ground floor apartment and then leaves, making his
way back to his own place. I’m utterly exhausted and can’t wait to climb into
bed and fall asleep.

Taking
off my shoes, I make my way into the bedroom. Removing my little black dress, I
gaze at my reflection in the mirror. A lot of people tell me that I’m pretty
but it’s safe to say that I never believe them. My hair is still brown but its
cut shorter, resting just above my shoulders. I tend to wear a lot more make up
than I used to and I know that comes down to the issue I have about hiding what
I feel. I somehow figure that no one will be able to observe my pain or the
darkness which still exists inside of me if I wear make up to cover it. I know it
sounds foolish but it’s been my defence mechanism for a long time and I’ve come
to like the sophisticated look my smart clothes and cosmetics provide me with.

A
noise outside makes me startle, drawing my attention towards my bedroom window.
I creep over towards it, using the curtain to cover my half naked body as I
take a look outside. It’s pitch black outside and can’t see anything so decide
to shrug it off and make myself a hot drink before bed.

I’m
curled up on the sofa when I hear the same noise again. It’s definitely coming
from outside and my heart beat accelerates. I turn down the TV and listen
carefully, half hoping I will hear the strange noise again and half hoping I
won’t hear anything.

Reaching
for my phone beside me, I consider calling the police. I realise how vulnerable
I am living alone and often wonder what I would do in this predicament if
someone was trying to break in and get inside.

A
light tapping at my front door is enough to jolt me into action and I slowly
tip toe down the hallway. My breathing is erratic and my hands are trembling as
I clutch my phone to my chest, praying I won’t come face to face with an
intruder in my apartment.

I
take a deep breath and look through the peephole through my front door. There’s
no one outside and I exhale slowly, grateful that the dangerous situation I was
preparing myself for is unlikely to happen.

Thirty
minutes go by before I’m on my way to bed, switching everything off before I
brush my teeth. I’m still feeling a little unsettled by the strange noises I
heard and the knock on my front door but try and put it out of my mind.

I
open the door to my room and can’t believe what’s right in front of me. On the
bed is my dress which I wore earlier on tonight. It’s exactly where I left it
but it now has the word ‘MINE’ scrawled right across it in huge red letters. My
whole body is shaking as I approach the dress, trailing my fingertips across it
as I try to stay calm.

It’s
lipstick. Someone has used my red lipstick to write this across my dress and
ruin it. Scrambling towards my dressing table, I frantically search through my
make-up bag and find my lipstick has gone.

Someone
has been in here.

Someone
has been inside my bedroom since I came home and I have no idea who it might
have been or how they even managed to break in.

They
might still be here.
My subconscious whispers, causing me to turn around slowly. Whoever did this
could still be in my apartment, concealing themselves until I’m vulnerable and
they find the perfect opportunity to hurt me.

I
race into the kitchen and grab the nearest knife I can find, clutching it in my
hand as I start to search every room. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed
to do if I actually find my intruder but what else can I do?

I
meticulously search each room but find nothing, starting to wonder if I’ve lost
my mind. Could the writing on the dress be a figment of my imagination? Could
this be the ghosts from my past finally catching up with me?

Entering
my bedroom once again, I notice the dress is exactly where I left it. It still
has the red letters scrawled across it and I know it isn’t a sign of my
insanity or anything else to do with my emotional state of mind.

It’s
Cole.

He’s
been here.

He
broke into my apartment and saw my dress, deciding to leave me a reminder of
what he once said to me. Three years ago he told me that I belonged to him, he
promised he would find me and that’s exactly what he’s done…

He
swore he would not allow me to run from him again and he wants me to know that
he meant every word.

He’s
come back to reclaim what was his.

He’s
found me.

Chapter Seven

Present
day…

“I
know it might sound strange that I didn’t call the police as soon as I found my
dress.” I explain to my therapist the following day. “But it somehow made me
feel closer to him, knowing that he had been inside my bedroom while I was
there… it made me feel safe again.”

“You
felt safe?” She asks, raising an eyebrow at me in surprise.

“I
know it doesn’t make much sense but that’s how I felt. We had been apart for so
long, all I ever thought about was him. My mind, body and soul would ache for
him and it brought me a great amount of comfort to know that he was close by
again.”

“And
were you scared of him at this point?” She enquires softly.

“I
was frightened by the thought of seeing him again but not fearful of what he
might do to me. I had no reason to be… not then anyway.”

“Why
don’t you take me back to what you did after the night you discovered he had
been in your room? Did you tell anyone about it or keep it to yourself.”

“I
thought about confiding in Lisa but later changed my mind.” I admit,
remembering the times I came so close to telling her.

“Why
did you do that?”

“A
part of me wanted to keep it a secret and another part of me longed to feel
close with him. I also wasn’t sure I wanted anyone else to know about it.”

“Serena,
are you comfortable with talking about what happened next?” She questions me
with caution.

“I
guess so.” I murmur, taking a deep breath.

“Ok
then, let’s continue.”

Three
years earlier…

I
wake up the next morning to an empty bedroom. I sit up in bed and rake my
fingers through my hair, half expecting Cole to walk in at any moment.

He
doesn’t.

A
large part of me believes I actually imagined everything that happened last
night. I suppose a part of me
wants
to believe I imagined it.

Except
I didn’t.

I
know I didn’t and that’s the unexplainable part. How the hell did he get inside
my apartment? How on earth does he even know where I live? The only two people
from my past who know where I am are Lisa and Natalie, neither one of them
would betray my trust and I know my best friend is the last person that Cole
would turn to with regards to finding out information about me.

The
image of Corrine after she had come back to the group last night suddenly pops
up inside my head. Could that have been Cole? Was he the strange man who had
cornered her in the hallway and asked her all those questions about who she was
out with and if they were celebrating something. She said he had grabbed her
and kissed her before throwing her aside. That sounds exactly like something he
would do and the thought of him kissing her consumes me with rage and envy.

I
take a deep breath, trying to rationalise my uncontrollable jealousy for a
moment. I realise I have no proof whatsoever that it was Cole who made out with
Corrine or if he even broke into my apartment last night. I’m aware that I
should really call the police or at least discuss what I should do next with
Natalie but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve already made that fateful
phone call in the past, I’ve already betrayed Cole and if it really was him
then I simply can’t find it in my heart to do that to him again.

Deciding
that all I can really do is get out of bed and start my day, I head straight
into the shower. It’s while I’m washing my hair that I start to think about the
few men I’ve encountered since Cole and why I’ve always made a point of pushing
them away when they start to get too close.

Of
course I’ve been on a few dates but nothing ever serious. There have been a few
guys I’ve found attracted but none of them have set my heart on fire like Cole.
None of them have been able to seal themselves to me like he did and none of
them were able to replace what I still feel for him.

I’ve
thought about having therapy in the past but I still don’t feel ready to talk
about it. I still don’t feel ready to confide in a complete stranger about what
I hold so sacred in my heart. How would it be possible to make them understand?
How would I be able to find someone who won’t judge me for remaining in
complete and utter love with my half-brother?

I’m
halfway through my morning coffee when I receive a text on my phone. I open it
but don’t recognise the number which sent it and my heart starts racing.

It
might be him.

I
know it sounds crazy because Cole doesn’t even have my money but that doesn’t
stop me from hoping it might be him…

Except
it isn’t.

It’s
a text from Kevin.

Hi,
Serena… I’m just wondering if you fancy doing something later on this
afternoon? Something casual like going out for coffee or something. I really
enjoyed your birthday last night and hope you meant what you said about being
friends. Don’t worry, I’m not dumb enough to convince myself you’ve suddenly
changed your mind, I just really want to take this opportunity to get to know
you a bit better… that’s if you’ll let me.

Kevin
x

I
stare at his message for several minutes, trying to read between the lines and
figure out if he really means it. Does he really want to pursue a friendship
with me so badly when I know he’s had feelings for me for the last few months?
Is that even possible?

Sighing
heavily, I text back a quick reply.

Hey,
this afternoon would be great but I have something to do afterwards so I hope
it will be ok with you if we only meet up for an hour or so?

Serena.

I
make sure I don’t put a kiss at the end of my message but immediately start to
rethink my hasty response to Kevin’s text. I really hope he won’t read anything
into this and plan to make it clear when we meet that it is
not
a date
or anything remotely similar to one.

The
rest of my morning is spent tidying up my small apartment before I start to get
ready for my coffee with Kevin. I decide on a light blue dress which is fairly
casual and take half an hour fixing up my hair and make-up before I leave.

There’s
a spring in my step as I leave and make my way into town, smiling for the first
time in months. I know it sounds strange that something as messed up as Cole
breaking into my apartment has uplifted me but the fact that he is close by…
the fact he knows where I am is somehow comforting.

If I
could only catch a glimpse of him, just for a few seconds… it would be
incredible.

“Hi!”
I exclaim excitedly, making my way over to Kevin by the window.

We
arranged to meet at a small coffee shop in town which I come to quite often.
I’m really glad we chose this place and take a seat while I decide what I want
to drink.

“You
seem cheerful.” Kevin observes, watching me in amusement.

“Do
I?” I ask him, smiling happily.

“Yeah,
you do. What’s happened? I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Can’t
a girl be happy because she’s just turned twenty-one?”

“She
can but you really didn’t seem so excited about it yesterday.” He reminds me,
watching me closely.

“I’ll
be back in a second. I’m going to go and place my order.”

I
jump up from my seat and head towards the counter, glancing back at Kevin as I
wait for the barista to make my drink. He looks puzzled, probably wondering
what on earth is going on. It’s as though I’m a completely different person and
that’s because I feel like one.

Happiness
is in reach. I can almost see it and this time I’m ready for it. There will be
no more running away or trying to deny what can no longer be ignored.

When
Cole decides he wants to make contact with me, I’ll be ready.

I
spend a really nice afternoon with Kevin, getting to know the man I’ve pretty
much ignored for the past six months. It turns out we have far more in common
than I once thought and I can’t believe I treated him so badly when we first
started working together. I certainly won’t make that mistake again and promise
him we can continue to meet up outside of work as and when we both feel like
it.

After
coffee, we decided to do a bit of shopping and then ended up having lunch
together at a quaint little restaurant which overlooks the river. It reminded
me of the picturesque river where Cole and I walked on our final night
together. Normally, this would consume me with an indescribable feeling of
sadness but now that I know Cole has his freedom, now that I know he’s no
longer in custody, I have become more content.

None
of it makes much sense but I have come to realise that nothing ever will when
it comes down to Cole or how I feel about him.

“I
guess I’ll see you on Monday.” Kevin says, coming to a standstill outside my
apartment.

He
insisted on walking me back home and I thank him for being such a gentleman. He
smiles at me and I start to panic, thinking he might try and take this as an
opportunity to kiss me or say something he shouldn’t.

“Well,
I’ll see you later.” I tell him, hurrying towards my front door. “Thank you for
a really nice day.”

“You’re
welcome.” He murmurs softly, waiting a few moments before he leaves.

I
watch him walk away, feeling sorry for him when I start about how I might have
given him the wrong kind of signals by spending the day together. I didn’t mean
to lead him on and hope the little crush he has on me will disappear soon
enough.

Glancing
up and down the street, I spot something move. It was on the other side of the
road so I didn’t get a good look at it but I know I caught something out of the
corner of my eye. I don’t know what it was but it causes me to tremble. There’s
no one else about and it’s starting to get dark, reminding me that someone
entered my apartment the night before, someone who might not have even been
Cole.

I
begin to tremble, fighting against my fear as I will myself to go on inside.
This is my home and no one has the right to make me feel afraid about being
here.

I
keep on telling myself that as I close the door behind me, taking a deep breath
before going into my bedroom.

Everything
happens so fast once I enter that room…

I’m
thrown onto the bed as soon as I step foot through the door, pinned down and
treated roughly as my attacked pins my arms behind my back with one hand. He
uses his right hand to gag me, covering my mouth so no one can hear my screams.

“Don’t
even
think
about making a single fucking noise, Serena.” He whispers
darkly, pressing his entire body against my own.

Cole.

It’s
really him.

He’s
come back.

I
start to sob uncontrollably, terrified and overjoyed at the exact same time. My
conflicted emotions are overpowering and I long to turn around so I can look at
him. I long to touch him and see his face, desperate to catch a glimpse of the
man who has tormented my soul for three whole years.

“Please…
let go of me.” I beg him, tears streaming down my face.

“You’re
not going anywhere.” He growls, tightening the hold he now has on my wrists
behind my back. “You’re not moving from this spot until I’m through with you.”

Oh
my God… he’s really going to do it. He’s going to hurt me and this time I’m
powerless to stop him.

“You
can’t do this.” I whimper. “You would never hurt me.”

“Like
you would never hurt me, right?” He challenges me disdainfully. “Except you did.
You broke my fucking heart and now I’m here to break you.”

“By
raping me?” I cry, burying my face into the soft quilt beneath me.

“By
taking back what is mine… what’s always been mine from day fucking one and
that’s you.”

I
can feel his arousal pressed against me and I’m disgusted with myself for the
instinctive reaction I have to it, arching my back so I can make contact with
him through our clothing.

“Then
do it.” I dare him, clenching my fists in fury. “Go ahead and do it if that’s
what will make you feel better but you’re the one who will have to live with
what he’s done.”

He
freezes for a moment, stunned into silence. It’s as though he didn’t expect me
to say anything like that and now he’s lost. He doesn’t know what to say and that
frightens me even more.

“Shut
the fuck up.” He orders, swiftly turning me around to face him. “Don’t open
that Goddamn mouth until I say so, do you understand? The only time I want that
pretty little mouth open is when I shove my cock in it.”

I
gasp, quivering beneath him as I gaze up at his handsome face. He’s absolutely
breath-taking and far more magnificent that I remembered him to be. His brown
eyes are gleaming and his jaw is clenched, watching me gaze up at him in
reverence.

His
jawline is no longer clean shaven but has some slight stubble, highlighting his
rugged features and raw masculinity even more. I watch him moisten his lips and
continue to stare, unable to break away from this man or eye contact with him
for a single second.

I
half expect him to slap my hand away but he doesn’t, remaining silent and
still. My fingertips stroke the length of his jawline, trembling from fear and
euphoric exuberance at the same time.

He
suddenly snaps out of his trance-like state and punches the mattress of the bed
which his formidable fist.

“Who
is he?” He demands, glowering at me with such contempt. “Who the hell is he?”

“Y-you
mean Kevin?” I stammer, fearing what he’s about to do next.

“Is
that his name?” He asks, lowering his face towards mine.

“He’s
just a work colleague, nothing more.”

“You
expect me to believe that? I’ve been watching you, Serena. I’ve seen the two of
you together and I know he’s got to be fucking you.”

“He’s
not. I swear to God he isn’t.”

“I
bet he wants to.” He snarls, grabbing a fistful of my hair. “I bet he’s dying
to get his hands on you.”

“I’ve
missed you.” I whisper, freeing one of my hands so I can touch him.

“You
think that’s enough to stop me right now? You think that’s going to be enough
to stop me from claiming what I own? Well, it’s not. Nothing you say or do is
going to stop this. I’ve waited too damn long and now it’s my turn to make
you
suffer.”

“Oh,
I’ve suffered.” I murmur. “I’ve been in torment for the past three years. You
think anything you do to me tonight will really hurt me? Trust me, it won’t.”