Stern Desire Love Redeemed (29 page)

"You are very jumpy tonight," Jared said with a
sly smile.

I pretended I did not hear him.

With the touch of a button, party music filled the air. I sat back in the soft leather. A memory of last night's escapade surfaced. My ass began to sting from the very thought.

I turned to look at Jared, so composed and confident behind the wheel. "Can you explain something for me, babe?"

"Sure," he said, not taking his eyes off the road.

"How is vaginal sex different from anal?"

He glanced at me and smiled. "It's tighter, naughtier. The tightness of the anal sphincter around my cock, and when the rectum sucks me into your hot, velvety canal it's amazingly pleasurable." He flashed me
a teasing smile. "Your vagina envelops the entire length of my cock snuggly in its wet, warm, sweet, soft, silky love canal. I'm like a kid in a candy shop. I can never get enough of that sweet goodness, and never want to
leave." His hand massaged the growing bulge in his pants. "Kyra, baby, your ass is tighter, but your pussy is so much better."

I settled back into the seat very satisfied with the answer
he provided.

"How was anal sex for you?"

"Painful, but I had one of the most intense, out of this world, orgasms."

"Would you let me fuck you in the ass again?" His
eyes were off the road.

"Jared, keep your eyes on the road."

"Would you?" Eyes still on me, he waited for his answer.

"Yes," I said hurriedly. "Do you want to get
us killed?"

"Relax, Kyra, I'm on a straight road and the collision avoidance is on. I can practically drive this car with my eyes shut."

I smirked at him.

"When you are ready, let me know. All you have to do is ask. I'm more than willing to give all of myself to you."

.

Jared parked outside the club. He leaned over and kissed me and a more intense tingle than the last zapped my clit. I moaned against his
lips as the aching in my groin returned. The aching only he had the cure for. Jared unlocked the door and it was opened by Shai, who was standing outside. He attempted to pull away.

"Please don't stop," I begged and leaned forward to capture his lips.

"Shai will take you in," he said.

"Why?"

"For your privacy."

Unaware that we were being followed by Shai and J.C., I got out of the car and noticed the black Dodge parked behind us. Shai led me upstairs to a private VIP area. The club was crazy. It was loud and techno music had the club-goers in a mad frenzy on the dance floor.

I was in awe at the décor and the size of the richly decorated lounge that emanated luxury and elegance: the comfortable, homey splendor of our private VIP lounge with its plush sophisticated loungers,
loveseats, and couches made from rich smooth velour and soft supple leather. The chandelier and colorful lights set a sensual tone. I sat on the couch that overlooked the entire club, but the people in the club could not see me through the privacy glass. The packed dance floor below was covered with fog. Colorful
lights ricocheted around it and off the clubbers as they danced, wildly intoxicated on music and alcohol. The exhilarating, adrenaline filled vibe swept up to me.

I felt a tantalizing tingle by Jay letting me know he was
close by. I closed my eyes and tried to fight the overwhelming urge to touch myself, to fondle myself and continue the pleasure that I did not want to end. I'd have to persuade him to give me a taste of my favorite lollipop. But I
would have to put that fantasy on hold for now. Following behind Jared were Jenn and Miguel. As soon as they were seated, a waitress appeared with a Remy Martin Louis XIII cognac, Louis Roederer Cristal, Perrier lime sparkling water,
and a tray with some tiny glasses with the consistency of jello and an extensive variety of appetizers. I reached for one of the shot glass. Jenn shook her head and poured a bottle of Perrier in a glass and slid it across the table to me. Even though I was never able to acquire a taste for Perrier, I brought
the glass to wet my lip.

Clubbing was not my thing. Standing in a packed club with loud music assaulting my ear drums and bumping into each other was not something that I had patience for. I did appreciate sitting in a private area
away from the craziness of the dance floor with drinks being delivered by an efficient waitress. That I could tolerate.

Jared and Miguel drank and discussed sports from boxing to
basketball, but the true sports enthusiast came out in each of them when the conversation deviated to soccer. Sitting at the edge of their seats, both men were engrossed in a riveting discussion of the World Cup, teams, players, strategies and almost impossible goals. Their conversation was compelling to
even me and I am not a sports fan. I don't follow or talk sports. I listened and derived from their conversation that not only was Jared an avid and very knowledgeable soccer fan, but he was also the co-owner of one of the top
ranking teams.

So engrossed were Jared and Miguel in their conversation, I doubt either of them noticed that Jenn and I had left. J.C and Shai stood guard at the entrance of our VIP lounge. He turned when he heard the door to the
ladies room behind him open.

After freshening up, we exited the ladies room and found Miguel waiting by the door.

"Ready to hit the dance floor?" he asked Jenn.

She smiled, took Miguel by the hand, and led him to the dance floor.

I returned from the bathroom to find Jared sitting alone. J.C. and Shai were standing guard at the entrance of our private VIP area. I felt the aching in my pelvis and the wetness between my legs before I realized
that Jared had administered a shock to my clit. Standing before Jared with one leg propped up on the seat next to him, I placed his hand against my wet v-jay. He massaged my now hypersensitive area. He brought his fingers to his lips and
licked my juice from his wet fingers. I collapsed in his lap as the most intense shock to my clit made my legs weak. Ravenously I captured his lips, tasting my honey juices on them.

"More, please," I begged.

"More, what?"

"Please, shock my pussy," I begged, out of breath.

"As you wish."

I grabbed my crotch. My legging was wet from my juice and my
finger entered me through the opening I had conveniently made in my legging. I gyrated in his lap as the burning passion that originated in my pelvis spread slowly.

"Again?" Jared asked.

I nodded and bit my lip in preparation for the rush. I felt the urge to pee and tightened my pelvis. I needed him in me, filling me, satisfying me, quenching this inferno in me.

"My turn," Jared said as he removed my finger from
my v-jay, brought it to his lips, and sensually licked them. He found the opening in my legging. His fingers replaced mine.

"Oh, Kyra, you came prepared."

I moaned as his fingers went deep in me.

He groaned. "So warm and wet."

The shocks came like rapid fire sending a cold, chilling wave down my legs. From the straddling position, the shocks brought me up on my
knees. He buried his face between my breasts as I panted and gyrated on his fingers. I was hot and cold at the same time, so I ripped my top off and he snuggled his face against my naked breast. I held him tight as my entire body pulsated with hot passion searching for that magical escape route out. He
zapped my clit over and over again until my body soared from extreme ecstasy, and warm, soothing fluids flowed out of me onto his hand. After my mind and body reunited, I took Jared's hand and led him over to the couch. I unbuckled
and unzipped his pants and removed my favorite weapon for some major lip loving. Jared squirmed as I kissed and licked his inner thighs, avoiding his joystick. I loved the way his body reacted to me. I could feel how aroused he
was and that he wanted more. With one hand, I lightly squeezed the base of his penis. I lowered my head and licked the tip of his engorged member and tasted his salty pre-cum. Still applying light pressure to the base of his penis, I took him in my mouth letting my tongue massage him as my head bobbed up and
down.

I licked the underside of his balls with my warm, wet tongue, covering every inch of them. Slowly I slid my tongue up along the vein on the underside of his dick. He shivered under me as expletives burst from his
lips. I took him all in until his strapping dick massaged the back of my throat. Reaching up under his shirt, I gently massaged his chest; he stiffened and then placed his hand on top of my head and gently guided his tool deeper
into the back of my throat.

The tempo in the club increased. The LED disco light in a rainbow of color and patterns danced to the beat of the rhythm and splashed the entire club with its vivid colors. Up and down on his penis my head bobbed
until I tasted his saltiness again. He stopped and his long, hard, throbbing shaft fell from my mouth. Jared sat up, turned me around so my back was to him, and pulled me onto his lap on my joystick. I gyrated on him to the beat of the
music. He was deep in me, his hands on my breast fondling me and bringing my breasts to a ripe, sensitive peak. He turned me around and I straddled him and got an instant adrenaline rush from the sight of the dance floor filled with people below. It was so exciting, fun, dirty, a big turn on. The music,
flashing lights, sex in a club, Jared's tool wrapped up in my pulsating v-jay. The carnal look in his eyes set off a chain work of fireworks inside me. He licked each breast and the electricity united us as one. I was light-headed, my
insides quivered, my hotspot burned, and I came all over him again. All my emotions came pouring out, and tears threatened to spill. I loved this man with all his faults and dysfunctions.

He gently kissed my left eye. "Te amo."
I love
you.

Then my right eye. "Te amo."

He kissed the tip of my nose. "Te amo."

As light as a feather, he kissed my lips. "Te amo. Tu eres
mi corazon."
I love you. You are my heart.

He held me tightly against his chest as his baby-maker grew soft within me. I tightened my pelvic muscles in an effort to keep him in me, not wanting to let go and wishing we could stay like this for a while longer.

"Babe, I have yet to find the words to describe my love for you. The more I make love to you, the more you take control of me."

"And I believe one of these days those mind-blowing
orgasms are actually going to push me over the edge and you are going to have a crazy woman for a girlfriend."

He chuckled. "I'll love you no matter what."

.

In the restroom I removed the thongs and refreshed my wet, satisfied v-jay. My clit still tingled from all that stimulation. I could not handle another shock. I stuffed the thong into his pants pocket and led him
onto the dance floor for VIPs just outside our private area. We held each other tightly and rocked to the beat of the music. Never had I felt more safe than when I was in his arms.

I could happily say I had seen and felt the love of a man.
It was evident when he looked deep into my eyes and told me he loved me with such fervor from the depths of his soul. I saw unequivocal love and adoration on his face when I caught him off guard staring at me, and the sweet boyish smile that adorned his face when he realized he was busted. I felt love when he
had his comforting, strong arms around me and he cradled me against his chest like I was his most valued treasure. He was my sanctuary. I was safe, protected, untouchable. My head resting on his chest, I was transported to a
white, sandy beach on a bright, moonlit night. The ocean sparkled like a sea of diamonds. The cool ocean breeze caressed our scantily clad bodies as gentle, warm, foamy water lapped at our ankles as we walked hand in hand. I was crudely
dragged out of my dream as Jared slightly pulled away.

"Hey, Jared," a female voice shouted.

I turned to see this intrusive woman who had rudely interrupted my moment. A tall, skinny, very attractive brunette smiled widely
at Jared.

"Tiffany!"

Instantly J.C. appeared at Tiffany's side and said something in her ear. The smile faded as she walked away.

"Who was that?" I asked, wondering if she had been
one of his former meaningless relationships.

"She's a friend of Gabby's," he answered and tightened his arms around me.

Sadly, no matter how hard I tried to go back to my dream, it
seemed to have vanished into the night. We danced to the end of the song and returned to the lounge. Jenn and Miguel were there.

J.C. was at Jared's side talking in his ear. Jared glanced
up at me.

"Is everything okay?"

"Celebrities in the club tonight, and the paparazzi are out in full force. Shai will take you home. I'll be there shortly."

"So, we are not going back together?"

"No, Kyra."

"I understand."

"Stop pouting, Kyra." He kissed me. "I'll be right behind you."

It was always for my safety and privacy. I'd been hearing
that a great deal lately. Jenn offered to walk me out. When we got to the car, I gave her a hug and watched as she walked back inside. I checked on Nate when I got home and took a shower. It was 2:45 AM and Jay was not home yet. I called
his number but he did not answer. I tried waiting up for him but fell asleep. Early morning as I turned in bed, Jared was next to me sound asleep.

It was a warm summer evening. Jenn and I sat on my back
patio enjoying the cool breeze as it came sweeping off the lake. Me drinking a refreshing glass of lemonade and Jenn an ice cold beer in hand.

"What's really bothering you, Kyra?"

"The same as usual. I feel that whatever he is hiding
is something I might not be able to accept."

"So, you do not think the relationship will last because of these secrets?"

"Probably not."

"And, now that you are pregnant?"

"I'm trapped and I do not like that feeling."

"Kyra, why don't you ask him, talk to him?"

"I've tried, Jenn, and the answers I've received only
lead to more questions."

"What did he tell you?"

"The day I refused to sign the adoption papers, I finally was able to get something out of him. He told me that when Christine
died, he tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. That's why he wouldn't allow me to look at his wrist when he was hospitalized."

"So, you think he's unstable?" Jenn asked, not as
shocked as I thought she would be.

"Something is wrong, Jenn. Then there's that night in the hospital when I caught Gabby giving him medication, and they lied to me. Also what Ella said about his sexual preference. He has never placed any
demands on me for any particular sexual preference that I might have considered taboo, so how is he getting his needs fulfilled if I'm not the one? Then there is The Pad. What's The Pad? And those horrible nightmares that I assume stem
from Christine's accident? I think they go even deeper."

"Okay, what is the worst case scenario?"

"That he's mentally unstable and has to take medication to function and I'm not talking about anxiety or depression. I'm talking about
psychotic depression, mania, suicide. He has tried it before."

"What else?"

"That he's cheating, but he won't get a chance to commit suicide because I would kill him myself."

"What else?"

"His mental health is precarious. He does not handle loss well, so can you imagine how he will be this entire pregnancy, teetering
on the thin line of sanity and insanity. It's scary."

"Are you afraid of him?"

"No, I'm not afraid of him. Not for a second have I thought that he would do anything to physically hurt me. If anything, he's too
overprotective. I'm not afraid for me, Jenn. I'm afraid for him."

"Well, that's good to know, but let's go back to your assumptions. Don't you see what you are doing to yourself? You don't know if all this is true. All I'm hearing are your doubts and distrust, and maybe lies
from a bitter, scorned ex-girlfriend. Stop letting fear ruin your life. Why can't you try and be happy and stop looking for an excuse to drive this man away? You've done this before. I'm surprised Jared has gotten this far."

She turned in her chair to face me. "Akyra Harris, listen to me. Jared has everything - money, looks - he can have anyone he wants, but he's with you because you are what he needs. He loves you. You have
changed him. Everyone close to him has seen it, and no matter how damaged he is you can help him through this. You've helped him in ways not even his family could have. Help him through therapy and things should be a lot easier.

"It's not that he doesn't want to tell you anything. He can't. He needs help to bring these issues to the surface and guidance to tell you. He is scared, and only the professionals can help him, so you are off to a good start. Even though what he did to you was incredibly inconsiderate and
selfish, and you might think it's a trap, I think he did it to save himself because he knows you are the only one who can."

"I've made up my mind. I'm going to terminate the
pregnancy."

She placed the beer bottle down heavily on the table.

"Jenn, please don't say anything yet. I've made the appointment for the morning and I'm asking if you can take me."

"No, ask someone else," she snapped back at me.

"Jenn, you are my best friend. You and Aunt Magg are the only two people who know about the pregnancy and I can't ask her to do this."

"Kyra, I do not think you are making the right decision. This is so unlike you. Why are you so adamant to go through with destroying that miracle growing inside of you? Tell me you don't think it's a miracle that you're pregnant right now."

It was a miracle. I'd never gotten pregnant this easily before, never without fertilization medication.

"Is it too much to ask for you to be there for me as a friend?"

"I'll be there for you, but I do not support your
decision." She picked up her beer bottle, and then placed it back on the table and turned to face me. "Please help me to understand why you're doing this."

"Since I was thrust into his world and faced with the
horrific reality that at any moment my quiet, private life would become very public. Everyone wants to know who Jared's new girlfriend is. I'm the home-wrecker who broke up the super couple. I'm despised. Your mom must have
seen the papers. She's always reading those Spanish tabloids: 'Nurse Snags Billionaire...' And I can already see future heading: 'Nurse Pregnant with Jared Stern's Baby...Was It a Trap?... How to Trap a Billionaire...'"

"Kyra, stop. You're driving yourself crazy...when did you start caring about what others think?"

"Since it's been splashed on the front of those trashy magazines for the whole world to read and judge me. Everyone had something to
say about my life and they don't know me. And my mom...oh, my mom! She won't even say anything, but I know she's going to be disappointed that I'm pregnant after a few months of meeting this guy and the negative attention it's getting.
Jenn, now I want you to be honest with me. Who is going to believe I did not do this on purpose?"

"Kyra, I know you are scared. You are not thinking rationally, and if you go through with this, you'll end up regretting it. Take
heed of my words. This is going to be the biggest mistake you'll ever make."

"Can you pick me up tomorrow at 11 A.M?"

"I'll be here." She stood and looked at me sadly.
"Just remember it's a miracle."

She left without another word. She was mad at me.

.

With good behavior comes some reward. I gave Jared no reason to doubt that I would not stick to the agreement - from work to home and
nowhere in between. So far this week I was not followed by Shai, and even if I was still being followed I'd learned a long time ago that I should always have a backup plan. Jenn was right on time to take me to my appointment.

"What's with the disguise?" she asked as I sat in the passenger seat of her car.

"What disguise? A baseball cap and some shades? You are not going to make this easy, are you?"

"No," she answered as she backed out of the driveway. "What kind of friend would I be if I sat idly by while you do something you really don't want to do? Can you imagine the guilt, anger, grief, shame? Will you be able to look Jared in the eyes and not feel a tinge of
guilt?"

"I'm sorry, Jenn. You're a great friend, but there is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind."

"What are you going to tell Jared if he asks where you
were?"

"If I did not want Jared to know where I was I would leave my phone at home, but then he might call and won't get an answer and become suspicious. I'm not driving my car just in case he can track my vehicle.
He probably can. So if he asks where I was, and I have to keep in mind he probably knows, I'll tell him I went to my Ob Gyn for my annual exam."

"So he's not going to get any coochie for two weeks?
How are you going to explain that?"

"The first week I'll be on my period. The second I'll have to take an unexpected trip or I can bury myself so deep in work and school I'll have no time for him."

She did not try to dissuade me again, but that disappointed look on her face was worse than her words.

At the doctor's office, Jenn sat across from me as I filled out the paperwork. I hated her silent treatment and the sad look in her eyes
like she was at a funeral. As I signed the paperwork, my phone vibrated. It was Jared. Clutching the clipboard to my chest, I walked out into the hallway to answer the call and to escape Jenn's sad, watchful eyes.

I held the phone to my ears unable to speak.

"Kyra, are you there?"

"I'm here," I answered in a strangled voice.

"Kyra, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, not too convincingly.

"Babe, I don't like how you're sounding right now. What's going on?"

"Jared, please, I'm okay."

"My parents are in town and my mom is inviting you down
for dinner this evening."

"I'm sorry, but I can't make it tonight. Tomorrow maybe?"

"They're leaving for New York in the morning."

I was plagued by guilt already and I hadn't even gone through with it yet.

"Kyra, are you sure you're okay? Where are you?"

"Jared, I'm so sorry." I apologized emphatically
for what I was about to do. "I'll call you back later."

"Kyra..."

A huge lump welled up in my throat as I tried to hold back the tears.

"I'll call you back, babe," I said hastily before
the tears flowed.

"I love you, Kyra." I ended the call and silenced my phone. Warm, sad tears flowed down my cheeks. I wiped them away. Still clutching the clipboard to my chest, I walked over to the counter and handed it
to the heavyset, older woman with the bleached blond, poufy hair-do.

"Have a seat, dear. The nurse will be right out," she said in a sweet, comforting tone.

The seat I'd vacated from was now occupied, so I sat next to
Jenn. The uncomfortable silence between us was agonizing. My heart kicked into high gear as the door to the waiting room opened and a tall, Afro American woman stood in the doorway.

"Miss Harris," she called.

I stood on my trembling legs and followed her into a back room. She took my blood pressure and then went over the forms I'd filled out, reviewing what I'd written.

"How do you confirm the pregnancy?" I asked after
surmising that she did not want a urine sample.

"The doctor will do an ultrasound," she answered. "Just a couple more questions. Do you want to see the image while the test
is being performed?"

"No," I answered flatly.

"Do you want to know if you are carrying multiple fetuses?"

"No."

"Okay, right this way, please."

She opened the door to a sterile, cold, white walled room.

"Have a seat on the table, please. The doctor will be right in."

I sat on the table and waited nervously for the doctor. I
never thought that I would be in this situation, after having lived through the experience of disappointment and heartbreak with each failed attempt to conceive years ago. What I was about to do was so devastating, unconscionable.

Why was I doing this again?
Because I was scared. Aunt Magg was wrong. I was a coward. I couldn't remember the last time I was this terrified. The feeling of being watched and scrutinized; life under a
microscope was intimidating to me, and a whole lot scarier when it was not only your family and friends but the entire world in your business, and they dig and pry to uncover your private affairs. I jumped as the door opened and a Chinese
woman entered.

"Miss Harris, I'm Dr. Chung-Lee. How are you?"

"Hello, doctor."

"Please, lie back on the table for me, and lift up your shirt."

I did as I was asked, and fixed my eyes on a spot in the
ceiling. She performed the ultrasound and I heard the whizzing sound of the machine printing the results.

"Do you have any questions?" the doctor asked as
she placed the paper on the chart.

"No."

"The pregnancy is fairly early, so you'll be out of here in no time."

"Thank you, doctor."

"I'll take you to the desk where you can make the
payment."

This was my chance to back out if I wanted to. I thought if I did not see the ultrasound, it would have been easier to go through with it, but curiosity had gotten the best of me. Would looking at the ultrasound be a
mind-changer or encourage me to pursue the course I was on?

"Doctor, I've changed my mind. Can I take a look at the ultrasound?"

"Sure, sign right here, indicating that you want to see
the ultrasound." She flipped the chart open and handed me a pen. "Would you like me to explain?"

"No, I'd just like to look at the picture."

She handed it to me. I took a glance and my heart stopped.
Numbly I handed the picture back to her.

"Thank you, doctor," I said in dismay.

"Do you need a few minutes, some time to think about
this?"

"No. I'll be fine."

"Right this way then."

If I went through with this pregnancy, it would be another high risk pregnancy. I dreaded going through that again, and more importantly,
I wanted to spare Jared and myself the heartbreak of a miscarriage. I did not want to relive my last pregnancy. Nate was a miracle. How could I prepare Jared for this? How should I tell him that my womb was like a barren wasteland and if
by some miracle something germinates there, it would take an even greater miracle to come to term? I did not want to go through the joy, fear, and disappointment or put him through that either. It was final; this was something I had to do for both of us.

"Will it be cash or debit, dear?" poufy-haired lady asked.

"Cash."

"That will be $450."

I reached into my handbag to retrieve my wallet. My phone
lit up with hazel eyes. Jared was calling again. Ignoring the call, I removed the cash from my wallet and placed it on the counter.

He wouldn't find out. Most of the information I provided on the forms was false. This was for the best. I prayed I could look at myself in
the morning. Even harder, I prayed that I could look into Jared's beautiful hazel eyes again.