Define Me
Authors: Culine Ramsden
All rights reserved:
Names and characters appearing in this work are entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.
Disclaimer:
I don’t own any of the brands i.e. Nike, CK, etc. or the music that might appear in the story.
I want to dedicate this book to my family. Firstly to my darling husband Glenn, my very own Prince Charming. We actually did meet on a volleyball court. Thank you for believing in me, for allowing me to follow my dreams.
Secondly to my wonderful son, Cameron.
He was diagnosed with ADD first then they said it was ADHD and eventually dyslexia. Watching him go through primary school was heart breaking. People are so quick to label a kid, make them an outcast because they are a little different from the rest. Instead of helping him he was bullied by teachers telling him he is worth nothing, as much as we tried to fix the damage he eventually believed them.
I also have dyslexia and I am an Afrikaans “boertjie”, I wrote this book to show him that no matter what the world throws at you, you get up and keep going and you prove to yourself not the world that you can do this. Life is your journey, you define who you want to be, and you choose what you want to do with the obstacles that have been put in your way.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson”
To my beautiful little girls Caitlin and Cassy-Ann always on the lookout for mommies book boyfriends.
Thank you to Jeremy Mooney (Cover Model), Jennifer Tanner (photographer),
Jozanne Martz (Cover Model), Braydon Ramsden (photographer) and Gert Erasmus for creating the most amazing cover. I had this vision in my head of what I wanted and what I got was over and above.
Thank you to my amazing friend Lisa Styer that did the editing for me and for believing in me and pushing me every day. To all the wonderful Facebook friends I have made, you guys are wonderful.
And a big thanks you to all the Indie Authors you are a true inspiration.
- Tonight I’m getting over you -
Carly Rae Jepsen - Stronger – Kelly Clarkson
- Over you – Daughtry
- Roar – Katy Perry
- Star of something good – Daughtry
- I want crazy – Hunter Hayes
- Dark Side – Kelly Clarkson
- All of me – John Legend
- Wild Heart – Daughtry (reminds me of what Caitlin was like before Hunter)
- Cry with you – Hunter Hayes (Brent’s feelings for Caitlin)
- Hey Girl – Billy Currington (When Vincent first saw Caitlin)
- Just a kiss – Lady Antebellum (The start of Vincent and Caitlin’s relationship)
- Waiting for Superman – Daughtry (Vincent’s love for Superhero t-shirts)
- Young Love – Kip Moore (Vincent and
Caitlin’s relationship. - Wanted – Hunter Hayes (Theme song)
Brent
It was the start of the school year, at yet another new school. I had been expelled from so many schools since my father skipped out on my Mom and myself a few years ago. He was an asshole, loved his booze and enjoyed knocking my mom around. Did the same to me till I was big enough to stand up to him, which was the day he left.
I sometimes felt my mom blamed me for him leaving. I had so much anger inside of me. It was hell living like that every day, the only way I felt better was to knock the shit out of anything or anyone that stood in my way.
This shit attitude got me into trouble and this was my last chance, I needed to pull it together, if I fucked it up here I was done, didn't know what my mom was going to do.
I kept to myself; I didn’t give a damn what happened around me. The less I mixed with anyone the better my chances were to make it out of here without trouble. It was my final year, and then I was free to live my life.
I was surprised at the girls, they had no shame. I've had my fair share of propositions but none that really interested me, except for her.
Caitlin Steward was one of those girls who just didn’t know who and what she was. She was a bombshell, with blonde hair down to her ass, aqua blue eyes that look right into the depth of your soul and let’s not forget the rack on her. God, she was perfect in every way.
She was captain of the Volley Ball team. Shit I can sit for hours watching her and Heather practice.
Heather, well now that one was something else, the total opposite. A brunette with brown eyes and cheeky as hell. If I did not have a thing for this blonde beauty I sure as hell would have knocked on her door.
When Caitlin was on the court she was happy, full of fun and from what I could see a little crazy.
As usual my timing was crap, just my luck she was dating a freaking dipshit like Hunter Wesley, the captain of the Baseball team. He reminded me so much of my loser dad. He was controlling and I saw the signs, it was there with my mother too. She was always defending his shit attitude, “he was just tired, nobody understood him, and you don’t know what he was like when we were alone”.
Yeah, whatever I had heard that too many times. Girl, open your eyes before it’s too late.
I was forced to try out for the baseball team when I joined the school, but team sports weren’t really my thing and I was not in the mood. With my bad luck the coach saw something in me and wanted me for the team, Hunters substitute. Hunter did not like that idea, he saw me as a threat in so many ways. He went out of his way to let me know that I was not welcome and to stay away from what was his, which included Caitlin.
It had been a crazy week. The final exams were upon us and Friday morning was the first time in a week that I saw Caitlin again. She asked one of the juniors, Tom to deliver the cupcakes to Hunter. Cupcakes she baked herself, with the message that she was waiting for him. Tom made the mistake of just barging in on Hunter and his buddies, telling him that Caitlin was waiting and he should hurry up. Tom was one of the few youngsters that I got on with, but what an idiot. Just like me Tom was hypnotized by Caitlin’s beauty and would do whatever she asked.
Heather and Caitlin were waiting on the bleachers chatting; I was sitting not too far from them with some of the outcasts. Heather call
ed me TDD. God alone knows what that stands for. While they were talking Caitlin glanced up, our eyes locked. We sat looking at each other till my eyes caught Tom running out. Caitlin jumped up and stopped Tom.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hunter storming towards her, red faced and livid. A few of his buddies tried to calm him down but they had no luck. Hunter pushed Tom out of the way, leaving the kid falling backwards onto one of Hunters buddies.
Hunter stood so close to Caitlin, his hands gripping her upper arms so tight that his knuckles were turning white. Memories of THAT night when my dad left came flooding in. I stood up and made my way towards Caitlin. I might not have been able to save my mom that night but I was sure as hell not going to let that happen to Caitlin. She didn't know me but that didn’t mean she won't.
Hunter started shouting at her that she has no right to send a douchebag like Tom to come and tell him what he should do. He wouldn’t even allow her to speak, like he is her Master and should do as she is told. Caitlin struggled out of his hands and was about to turn and run, tears pooling in her deep aqua eyes. But Hunter was not finished with her. How dare she turn her back on him, walk away from him. He grips her ponytail and yanks her back.
That was it for me; I gripped Hunter by the back of his shirt. He let go of Caitlin, was shocked that anyone would even attempt to step in. He turned around and I landed a right hook on Hunter’s jaw and he dropped. He was crying like a baby, I think I must have broken it.
“You are going to pay for this, asshole.”
I turned towards Caitlin and with the hand that just dropped Hunter I lifted her head and wiped away some of the tears. For the second time that day I looked Caitlin straight in the eyes
“An ass like this” pointing to Hunter “doesn’t deserve a princess like you!!”
Caitlin was at a loss for words only when Hunter started shouting again did it break the spell.
“Take your hands off my girl!”
I turned around and grabbed Hunter by the throat. “You don't deserve her.”
“And you think you do?”
I leaned back but before I could land another punch, the Principal stepped in. As it goes the outcast was always the one in the wrong. Nobody was prepared to stand up to Hunter. He was the victim and I was the trouble maker.
I never got to speak to Caitlin again as a few days later I was suspended from school. I could finish my exams but was not allowed to attend the graduation ceremony. My mother had enough and shipped me off to the army with the hope that it would straighten me out.
The right hook I planted on Hunter broke his jawbone and he was out of action for a few weeks and the baseball scouts did not get to see him play, which cost him a sports scholarship to one of the Universities of California.
My first few weeks in boot camp was hell. My shit attitude got me into a lot of trouble but eventually I learned to do what was expected of me. I found different ways to express my anger.
I got a "Dear John" letter from my mom telling me that she had taken my dad back and that they would be moving back to Texas. Yeah, now that I was out of the way the jackass stepped in and promised her the world.
I spoke to Tom and he told me that Hunter and Caitlin were also back together.
I vowed that one day I would find her again and show her that I was worthy of her love. Let’s hope that I won’t be too late.