Songbird (23 page)

“Tyler died because of who I was.”

Nicholas cocked his head. “Would Tyler be
proud of the woman you have turned yourself into in his
memory?”

I flinched and jerked away. “That’s not very
nice.”

Nicholas shrugged. “I have nothing against
the guy. Like I said, sounds like a decent dude. But I’m here now
and I’m the one looking at you. And considering I’m the only one
that’s ever made you scream in ecstasy, I think it gives me some
leverage no one has had before.”

“You’re an asshole.” I tried to flounce past
him.

Two problems with that. One—Nicholas was a
lot faster than I in many ways. Two—we were in a tiny ass bathroom
with very little maneuvering room. Of course I didn’t make it by
him.

He caught me around the waist and turned us
so I leaned back against the wall he’d been pressed against. I
shoved at his shoulders but Nicholas was unmovable. Big
surprise.

“We still have to talk,” he said staring into
my face.

I lifted a brow. “We did talk.”

“No.” Slowly he shook his head. “We didn’t
cover everything.”

My heart started nervously tittering and I
ignored it. I jerked my chin, “What’s left to talk about?”

“I’m going to touch you. A lot. In public, in
private, whenever I fucking feel like it. That’s one of the perks
of being a couple.”

“We’re not a couple. It’s not professional.
Ezra will fire me for sure. If you need to scratch an itch I have
no problems getting a companion for you. We’ve done that for the
better part of a week.” My heart ripped at the thought but I kept
the pain off my face.

Fury dilated his eyes and clipped his voice.
“You know how I feel about that bullshit so I won’t even address
it. Saying it just to piss me off and get off topic isn’t going to
work.”

“Walker, really, considering the options
available to you; there are no reasons for you to be infatuated
with me.” I pushed again and it was like pushing a truck uphill
with a full load. I faked a smile in hope that maybe it could
defuse some of his anger. “I’m flattered but we could certainly
find something more suitable for you and your position.”

“I’m not ashamed of you.” He didn’t even
react to the dig. “I don’t let you touch me because I don’t want to
lose control and hurt you.” His hand cupped my cheek. “You do
something to me that makes me feel desperate and out of
control.”

My stomach shuddered and my legs went
rubbery. Still, I kept my chin up. I needed to maintain my position
and put him firmly in the friend zone box.

“When you don’t let me touch you it feels
like before.” I couldn’t hide the tremble in my voice but I
honestly couldn’t say what emotion caused it. “It makes me feel
cheap and small. I told you before I’m not a whore.”

“Fuck.” He dropped his forehead against mine.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to scare you.”

“I’m tired of this hot and cold shit.” I
fisted my hands in his hair and pulled. “Show me, Nicholas.
Show
me
you actually want me.”

I pressed my mouth to his in a hot, angry
demand. The action was a dare. For both of us. Could I get passed
my insecurities and did he really mean all the pretty words he gave
me. Part of me wanted him to pull away, make some lame excuse, and
the other part of me…was scared that he would and all the words he
gave me were pretty lies.

There was only a moment of hesitation before
he groaned and reciprocated. One of his hands moved to cup my ass
and grind me against his very present erection. The other tangled
in my hair in an almost painful grip holding me in place while he
feasted.

There wasn’t anything gentle, soft or kind
about the mating of our mouths. Our tongues tangled in a wild dance
I was only too eager to do with other parts. Teeth nipped sensitive
flesh, the pressure only excited me more.

I let go of his hair to run hands over his
shoulders, down his chest, around his waist to his back. The man
had a body that women sang praise over and other men envied.

Nicholas trailed kisses down my jaw. When I
tilted my head back granting further access he brought teeth and
tongue to the line of my neck. The hand in my hair moved to cup and
flex around a breast. A moan shuddered through me when he clamped
down a little harder than normal with both mouth and fingers.

This was passion. Not that watered down shit
he’d been passing off. Thank God.

“Need to slow down.” He didn’t raise his
face, just mumbled the words into my neck even as he flexed against
my hips.

I shook my head. “No. No. Don’t stop.”

This was beyond a dare, beyond a challenge to
prove truth from lie. I needed him in a way I had never needed or
even wanted a man before. He set a hidden woman—a woman I didn’t
even believe existed—loose inside and just this once I wanted to
give into her carnal needs and wanton demands. Give in to his
too.

“Bathroom. We’re in a bathroom.” Nicholas
shuddered when my nails dug into his ass and pulled him closer.

“We were in the shower before.” I moved my
hands around to his belt buckle.

“Different.” He didn’t quite hide the groan
when my hands brushed the tented fabric.

“Same room.” I breathed and got his belt open
enough to slide my hand in. He was hot and just a little bigger
than anything I had experience with. Surprisingly there was no fear
of tangling with his larger than average cock.

“Fuck.” He shuddered and his hand on my ass
tightened. “No privacy.” He managed.

I pulled his head back up with a hand in his
hair to kiss him again. His mouth was frantic and hungry. He thrust
into my squeezing hand contradicting his words silently. He wanted
me; he wanted this.

The knowledge of that exhilarated and ripped
away my remaining inhibitions and doubts. I shifted and he stumbled
back into the door.

“There,” I murmured against his mouth and
managed to fully unbuckle and open his pants with one hand.
“Privacy.”

“Songbird.” He broke off and swore when I
dropped to my knees. “What are you doing?”

“I think that’s obvious.”

I didn’t give him a chance to think about it
or protest. The air turned blue with his curses when I pressed
kisses against his throbbing erection before swirling my tongue
around his head. The slight tang and hardness of metal made me draw
back and take a close look.

“Oh, what’s this?” I didn’t let him answer
instead I ran my tongue over and around the little metal ball on
the underside of his dick. A second ball about an inch down was
lavished with the same attention.

Both of Nicholas’s hands fisted into my hair
and he rocked his hips without checking the motion. “Songbird.” His
voice was guttural, choked and full of silent plea.

Granting mercy, I lightly nibbled my way back
to the top and licked his leaking slit before drawing it in slowly
sucking gently. His hands knotted further in my hair and his hips
rocked once more. I let him slide himself further into my mouth,
dragging my tongue along the underside of the shaft.

My past might have been horrifying, but
certain skills were useful. The ability to swallow without choking
or suffocating for example. I shamelessly used it on Nicholas to
the fullest extent.

I drew him deeper, keeping the pressure
constant. The sounds coming from him were better than any song. I
glanced up through my lashes and couldn’t suppress my hum of
pleasure. His hips jerked at the vibration and he cursed under his
breath. The muscles of his thighs shook, the only sign of his fight
with control.

Control wasn’t in the plan. I wanted all of
him, unrestrained and beautiful. Drawing him in fully into my
mouth, I applied more than pressure. Reflexively, because I knew he
wouldn’t have done it otherwise, he pulled my hair and thrust his
hips fucking my mouth for a single heartbeat before shaking his
head and trying to find his control again.

All it took was gentle pressure on his balls
to snap the remaining collar on his control. He bucked
uncontrollably and held my head in place by my hair as he thrust
himself in and out wildly. He cursed and groaned then stiffened as
he exploded in my throat.

I swallowed everything he gave me and licked
him clean for good measure. His legs shook and he sank to the floor
in front of me when I pulled away enough to give him space.

His eyes were hooded and he looked a little
drunk. I had to lean in and nibble at his dimple when he smiled. He
let go of my hair finally and pulled me onto his lap. His hands
cupped my ass again and his head dropped to nuzzle the hollow of my
neck.

“That,” he breathed deep and placed kisses
wherever he could reach, “was fucking amazing.”

Well, well. Someone liked to cuddle.
Regardless of his claims otherwise.

After a moment his hands rose up my back and
around my sides. He froze and fondled at the gun holstered along
the side of my breast.

“What’s this?” His words were slow and lazy,
a clear sign of good sex—or in this case great head.

I stroked his hair. “Henry’s not the only one
protecting you.”

“Huh.” He skimmed his hands up over my
shoulders and wrapped around them to pull me down chest to chest
with him. “Does this mean we’re a couple now?”

“Are you going to let me touch you? Really
touch you?”

“Did it look like I stopped you?”

“You fought valiantly.” I stated soberly and
dropped my head onto his shoulder.

He chuckled then after a moment glanced
around the bathroom. “The paper got trampled.”

“No great loss.”

“I meant what I said. I’d like you to finish
it.” His arms turned to bands of steel when I attempted to push off
him. “We still have five weeks on tour, Songbird. You can’t run
from me.”

Mood souring just a little I turned my head
into his neck and bit down. He yelped and jerked one hand into my
hair, yanking my head back. His eyes narrowed on mine.

“That was dirty.”

I licked my lips and sent him a wicked smile.
“But you taste so good.”

His eyes went hot for an entirely different
reason and he yanked me forward. Our mouths collided and teeth
clicked until he shifted enough to seal his mouth over mine. I
shuffled forward enough to throw a leg over him to properly
straddle his lap.

Strong banging echoed on the door above us.
Nicholas sighed and pulled back enough to look up where someone was
vibrating the wood.

“What?”

“Sound check, man.” The door did nothing to
muffle the amusement in Max’s voice. “Guy and Taylor figured out
the stage deal so we’re full steam ahead. This means you need to
get your ass out here and stop molesting Stilts.”

“She molested me first.” Nicholas grinned at
me.

“You’ve been molesting her since Bluejay,
man. I know you, remember? Put your dick away and let’s get to
work.”

“It’ll only take me ten minutes to kill him.
I promise.” Nicholas pushed both of us to our feet.

“It’s time for work.” I brushed at my clothes
but the wrinkles from his manhandling weren’t something my hands
could smooth down.

Nicholas grumbled but straightened himself
out as well.

“I do have a question.” I met his eyes in the
mirror as I washed my hands again.

“Shoot.”

“Why aren’t you wearing any underwear?”

“They’re only to keep me from being arrested
for indecent exposure.”

I blinked. “Wait, what?”

“He only wears underwear so we don’t go
blind.” Max rapped on the door again. “Can we finish this
conversation later?”

“Peeping Tom,” Nicholas’s mutter was at odds
with the amused glint in his eyes.

“I can’t see a thing through this wood.
That’s not peeping.”

“And if you had seen anything you’d be a
blind man.” Nicholas ran his hands down my back I think in an
attempt to smooth out my blouse.

“We humor his inability to share.” Max said
in an off handed tone.

“I’m going to kill you.” Nicholas yanked the
door open and came face to face with not just Max, but Guy and Arc
too. Taylor at least had the decency to be leaning against the
couch a few paces away from the door.

Nicholas scowled. “Really, guys?”

“Go,” I waved a wet hand. “Stage director is
probably waiting on you. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Nicholas shifted enough to tug on my hair and
kiss me stupid in front of the guys. Before I could gather my wits
to protest he let go and stepped into the dressing room, shoving
the guys away from the door.

“Finish the song.” He stepped out of the room
with the band at his heels.

Leaning against the sink I dropped my head
against the cold glass of the mirror and closed my eyes. I had
originally kissed Nicholas to call his bluff. But he wasn’t
bluffing. That more than anything else shook the foundation under
my feet and I could use the time alone to think. I straighten and
examined the rumpled woman in the mirror. How did I handle Nicholas
when even while staring at my reflection I didn’t see what he
saw?

Taylor pushed up from the couch and walked
over to lean against the door jamb. “As much as I hate the cliché,
we need to talk.”

“Now or can it wait?” I dried my hands and
faced him. My good mood evaporated with his serious expression.
There was nothing he could say that I hadn’t already told
myself.

I wouldn’t regret what I had done with
Nicholas. The “come to Jesus” talk that was no doubt about to occur
from my big brother wasn’t going to be anything new. He wouldn’t be
wrong to warn me of…well all the warnings I had already given
myself. Taylor was family though, so I would listen, and nod then
figure out what exactly I was going to do next.

“Now, since the band is preoccupied.” Taylor
stepped back and gestured to the couch.

“All right.” I walked over and sat. “What’s
this about?”