Someone to Love (12 page)

“Before me.”

“I know.”

“If you ever speak to my wife the way you did tonight, you’ll be in the hospital.”

“I know,” he paused before adding, “that you aren’t tough enough to send me to the hospital.”

“No, it would probably be the morgue,” Jack added smiling.

“Note to self, don’t go hunting with Jack, there might be an ‘accident’,” he joked. “Seriously, I’m sorry. I was out line, but I was out of my mind. The one thing I’d never said I would let happen was happening without my knowledge.

“I always said I would be a father that was there from day one and I wasn’t there for nine months,” Cooper continued. “I was angry and I couldn’t express it to Magnolia while she was in labor so I ended up taking it out on Diane who I thought was her co-conspirator.”

“Diane was just as surprised as you. Actually more because she didn’t know you and Noli had had that kind of relationship.”

“I don’t know what kind of relationship we had. When it got serious for me, she was gone, then I think I’m over her and she’s back and having my child, my children. I thought I was messed up and afraid of commitment, but once again she’s outdone me. She didn’t tell anybody she was pregnant, not her uncle, not her cousin, not even me, the father! How messed up is she?”

“You love her don’t you?”

Cooper ran his hand over his face. “I think we should head back. The surgery has to be almost done.”

Cooper sat uncomfortably in the chair next to Noli’s bed. The anesthesia had yet to wear off from the emergency surgery. He was just staring at her and listening to the beep of the monitor that kept the rhythm of her heartbeat. He was hoping she would wake up soon. The doctors said she was fine, but that wouldn’t seem real until she opened her eyes.

It was becoming increasingly more difficult for him to keep his own eyes open. He’d been up almost twenty-four straight hours, the last few of which were quite stressful. He must have finally lost the battle because he was waking up to the gentle sound of his name being called. It took him a moment to realize where he was and who was calling to him. Then he saw Magnolia looking at him and it all rushed back.

“You’re awake,” he said sounding sleepy. “How do you feel?”

“You seem as tired as if you just gave birth. Where’s everybody?”

“Home. Let me go get the nurse.”

“Why do you keep saying that? I just woke up from a nap, I don’t need medical attention. Where’s the baby?”

“She’s down in the nursery and he’s in NICU.”

She looked like she was trying to remember but couldn’t. “He who? We had a daughter.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Why?” Noli tried to sit up, she grimaced in pain and laid back down. “Why am I in so much pain?”

Cooper came and stood next to the bed. “You had an emergency C-section.”

“I had a C-section after I delivered? I don’t understand.”

“You delivered our daughter but, our son was a C-section.”

“Son?”

“We had twins.”

“What? That’s impossible.”

“It’s possible because it happened. Did you even get prenatal care or were you running from that too?” As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back.

“Of course I did. How could you think I wouldn’t?”

“Because you were carrying twins and didn’t even know.”

“Dr. Stephens never said anything about twins. None of the ultrasounds showed two babies either.”

“I wouldn’t know that. I didn’t get to see any of them. Let me go get the nurse.”

“Cooper, wait. You have every right to be mad, but right now I need you. Do you forgive me?”

“This isn’t the time for that conversation. Let me go get the nurse, she can explain what happened better than me.”

The nurse came and smiled at Noli. “How are you feeling?”

“It hurts when I try to sit up, but other than that, good.”

“That’s common this soon after a cesarean. I can get you something for the pain. You gave us all a good scare.”

“What happened?”

“When your contractions began again your second placenta ruptured causing you to hemorrhage, which made you become unconscious. We had to perform an emergency C-section to deliver your son and perform surgery to stop the bleeding.”

“I have a son? How is he?” Noli bit her lip and looked up to try not to cry.

The nurse looked at Cooper, who was looking at the nurse as expectantly as if he hadn’t heard any of this. “He’s good. He has issues common with preemies. His birth weight is low, so he’s in an incubator to keep warm. He’s jaundice, anemic, and his lungs aren’t fully developed. But his prognosis is good and all of those things should be resolved in a few weeks and you’ll be able to take him home.”

“Can I see him?”

“In the morning. You’re not up to going to the NICU to see him tonight and he can’t come to you.”

“I have pictures,” Cooper said reaching in his pocket.

“What about our daughter? Does she have any of those issues?”

“Not a one. She’s as healthy as a full term baby and will be ready to go home with you. Would you like her in here tonight?”

“Yes, please.”

“Will you be staying, dad?” the nurse asked.

Noli’s eyes pleaded with him to say yes. It hurt her to see Cooper this upset with her. She couldn’t be alone. It wasn’t just that she couldn’t bear to be alone, she needed him there. She couldn’t read his eyes as he looked at her. He ran his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, is there someplace besides this chair I can sleep?”

“We have a hospitality room on the second floor, but I’m sure mom would like to have you closer. I can make this a private room which means the other bed will be empty for the duration of your stay.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll be back with the baby.”

“Where’s home?” Cooper asked as soon as the door closed behind the nurse.

“Excuse me?” Noli said confused.

“We’ll be able to take our daughter home in a couple of days. Where is home?”

“I have a place in Indianapolis.”

“You do?” he asked surprised. “How long have you been living there?”

She was afraid to say for fear he’d get more upset with her. “Three months. I knew I couldn’t continue to travel with the baby and needed to settle somewhere.”

“Did you ever think of here, with me, being the somewhere you settled?”

“I did, but… What we had was casual from the start. I didn’t know how you’d feel about it becoming more serious.”

“What you did know was that I didn’t want to be an absent father.”

“And that scared me even more than you not wanting to do anything with me or the baby. Well, babies.”

“You mean like you scared me popping up out of nowhere pregnant and then almost dying? Do you know how it felt to see you dying and not being able to do anything about it? To wonder if I’d been there could I have done something to prevent you and our son from almost dying? I didn’t even feel like I had the right to be upset with you. I was watching Jack comfort Diane with his hand on her belly and I felt robbed because for the last nine months you didn’t feel I had the right to know.”

“I wanted to tell you, but—”

“You were scared. I get that,” he didn’t keep the anger out of his voice. “Get this, if you think I’m going to let you rob me of seeing my children, you’re wrong.”

“I would never do that.”

“I would never let you.”

“Cooper, please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. Right now, I’m looking at you and I just want to take you in my arms and tell you everything will be okay.”

“Then do that. I’d like that.”

He crossed his arms. “I can’t do that, I don’t know that everything will be okay. I don’t know that I won’t strangle you instead of hugging you.

“I understand.”

“I can’t let you move back to Indy or traipse all over the world. I’ll take the apartment, you take the house.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“The apartment isn’t suitable for babies. It’s too small for three anyway.”

“Your house is big enough for four.”

“All of us in that house just playing family and not actually being one. I can’t do that.”

The nurse walked in pushing a Plexiglas bassinet. “Here’s your daughter. You need to name her. She’s too precious to just be baby girl Freeman/Smith.”

Their daughter was stirring. “Is it okay for me to feed her?”

“You sure can. The pain medicine you took is safe for the babies. In fact, it would be good for you to express some for your son too. Tomorrow we’ll get a lactation specialist in. Call if you need help getting her to latch on tonight.” The nurse checked a couple of things on her chart then left the room.

Noli sat up to see her daughter despite the mild pain it caused. “She’s right, we do need to name them. Do you have anything in mind?” Noli said not wanting to resume the previous conversation.

“What about your parents’ names?”

Noli shook her head. “I don’t think I can do that. Maybe as their middle names. I don’t want to burden them with old people names like I had.”

“I guess that rules out Magnolia Jr.”

“Oh, that’s not even an option. Like not in the least. Did you want to name him after you?”

“He has my last name, he doesn’t need my first too. Do you want to do the twin matching name thing? Like Luke and Lucy.”

“Please be joking.”

“About the matching or the names?”

“The names. Especially Lucy, that’s an old lady name.”

“Someday she’ll be an old lady.”

“She can change her name to Lucy then.” It felt good to joke with him again. “What does he look like?”

“Oh, I didn’t show you his pictures yet.”

He pulled out his phone and began to flip through a couple dozen pictures of their son. Noli’s love for her son grew even more the moment she saw the first picture. He was small, but not as tiny as some preemies. Though he did seem tiny in comparison to Cooper’s hand.

“Olivia and Owen?” Cooper suggested.

She wrinkled her nose. “Aurora and Adam?”

“No.”

“Ariel and Anderson?”

“Anderson is a last name,” he said.

“Brian and Belle.”

“No.”

“Matthew and Mulan?”

“Are you naming all the Disney princesses?” he asked.

“Yes, I was just about to suggest Pocahontas and Patrick. This is what happens whenever I try to think up names.”

“Let’s rule out all cartoon characters.”

“Okay, but no old lady names either. They weren’t born in 1902.” Her eyes got big. “I just realized that they were born in two different years.”

“I hadn’t even realized that. What if we name her Evie?”

“Because she was born on New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah.”

“What about Evan for the boy?”

“I like that,” he smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“Mostly, but let’s live with it for a couple of hours.”

The baby’s movement increased and she began to grunt and root around. “I think that means she’s ready to feed. Will you hand Evie here?”

He picked their daughter up and handed him to Noli. “The name already feels right.”

“We need to look up the meanings. We don’t want cool sounding names with stupid meanings. Would you mind turning around, I want to get her to latch on.”

“I’ve seen them before. That’s how she came to be, remember?”

“I know that, but I don’t want you to see her nursing and only think of them for their intended purpose and forget they can be fun too.”

He raised an eyebrow and turned around. “I didn’t know me having fun with them was still on the table.”

She both wanted the intimacy and emotions they’d shared before but didn’t want to feel the vulnerability it caused. She also doubted he’d want to have anything to do with her from his behavior just an hour ago.

“I thought that if you didn’t even want to be in the same house with me that you wouldn’t want that option.” She finally answered. He turned around to address her. “She’s not latched on yet, turn back around.”

“I think you nursing our daughter is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It makes me want you more. If you want me to turn back around I will, but I want to talk to you not the wall. When I said I didn’t want to live with you, it wasn’t because I don’t want to be with you. Despite it all I do. I don’t want to move in with you because I want there to be an us before that happens. That can’t happen unless we resolve our issues, both as a couple and individually. If we move in together we’d just be playing family and I don’t want to play at it I want to be it.”

“Do you want us to be a couple because of the babies or do you want us to be a couple with babies?”

“I want us to be a couple with kids. My life hasn’t been the same since I first saw you sitting at that kitchen table. For a couple of months I was happier than I’ve ever been and I thought the impossible was possible. I began to believe that maybe I could be a husband and someday down the road a father. Then poof, you were gone and that possibility went away. What do you want?”

“I want…you, but-”

“You’re scared. I know. That’s why I’ll live in the apartment. We’ll take it slow.”

“What if we do that, what if we become a family and then something happens to you.”

“I won’t live forever, but I promise I’ll do everything in my power to be around for as long as you stay.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

***

“I haven’t been able to take my anxiety meds since I found out I was pregnant and now that I’m nursing I still can’t.”

“Well, when was the last time you had an attack?” Diane asked.

“When Cooper said marriage was the solution to our situation and I went into labor.”

“Oh. Did you say yes to his proposal?”

“It wasn’t so much a proposal as it was an option.”

“Fine, what did you think of the option?”

“I panicked and went into labor,” Noli said flatly.

“So marriage isn’t an option?”

“We talked last night. He’s agreed to take it slow.”

“What does that mean?”

“That we are working towards being a couple I guess.”

“Seems to me that you were already a couple.”

“We weren’t. It wasn’t serious.”

“I’d say two babies are pretty serious,” Diane said.

“That wasn’t the plan.”

“But that’s what happened.”

“Knock knock,” Amara Adams said sticking her head through the door. She was Diane’s classmate and best friend that became one of Noli’s best friends too.

“What are you doing here?” Noli asked.

“Diane called about a baby being born, and I was surprised to hear it wasn’t hers. I was shocked when she told me it was yours.”

“There are actually two babies,” Diane said.

“That surprised everyone including me,” Noli added.

“If you ever need a job I’m sure I can get you on a campaign because you can keep a secret,” Amara said.

“The problem with secrets is they don’t stay that way. When they come out it usually isn’t pretty. Plus, I don’t think they’re too many elections out here in the middle of nowhere,” Noli said.

“So you’re staying here?” Diane asked barely concealing her excitement.”

“It looks like it. My son is going to be in the hospital a couple of weeks.”

“Are you going to move in with Cooper?” Diane asked.

“We aren’t together like that. I don’t think he wants to be that near to me. He wants to hug me and choke me at the same time.”

“If Jack’s and my house were finished being built I’d let you move in with us.”

“Don’t worry. Until I find a place he’s offered for me and the babies to stay at his house and he’ll stay in the apartment.”