Someone to Love (15 page)

“That’s just it. I don’t see His importance in their lives or in mine. I don’t want to be responsible for getting their hopes up about an all-powerful and loving God. One day He won’t answer their prayers when they need Him to the most.”

“He answered our prayers when we thought we were going to lose you and Evan. It’s a miracle you two are here right now.”

“It’s not a miracle because I doubt God had anything to do with it. I’m here because of a whole team of well-trained medical professionals.”

“Magnolia, why are you so angry with God?”

“Why am I angry with God? I’m angry with God because I believed. I had faith in every word in the Bible until I needed Him and He abandoned me. He let both of my parents die. They didn’t deserve it and neither did I. I did not deserve to be left without my parents or a God to believe in.” Her voice rose with the anger that was usually just beneath the surface.

“You blame God for the accident?”

“He may not have caused it, but He didn’t stop it. Where was His grace and mercy when my parents needed it? Why did He let my parents die?”

“Do you know the story of Job?”

Noli fault through her anger to remember the story. “Yeah. God let the devil ruin this man’s life just because. Everything was taken from him, yet he still praised God. I guess I’m just not as faithful as Job.”

“You’re right, Job was faithful, but he still questioned why God would let it happen to him. Do you remember God’s answer to that question?”

Noli shook her head. She could probably remember if she tried to, but she wasn’t trying to.

“God asked Job if he was there when the world was created, if he played any part in the creation. Since he wasn’t he wasn’t qualified to ask God why.”

“I do remember that in the end God blessed Job with more land than he had before and his family back.”

“Not quite. He didn’t get his children back. He got a new family and so did you. Your parents may be gone, but God blessed you with two beautiful children and a man that loves you.”

Noli didn’t respond. She was taking in what she’d heard. Part of her knew she was right and she should count her blessings, but she was unable to let go of the pain of her loss. “I do have two beautiful children, but Cooper doesn’t love me.”

Daphne chuckled. “And I guess you don’t love him either.”

“I’m going to go check if he needs any help getting the twins ready,” Noli said. She left the room and the conversation about her feelings in there. When she entered the room she saw Cooper holding Evan. Seeing their fragile baby in his arms made her think perhaps it was a miracle. Maybe it was God. Even the well trained medical staff thought it was going to be the baby or her that survived, but prayed they were wrong. Even after the delivery it was touch and go for a couple of hours if he would survive. His progress over the last couple of months far exceeded anyone’s expectations.

Cooper’s attention finally broke away from his little boy. He looked at Noli with concern. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Noli touched her cheek and was surprised to feel that it was wet. She hadn’t realized she was crying. “I was just thinking how amazing it is that Evan is so healthy now.”

Cooper pulled Noli into his other arm and kissed the top of her head. “It is amazing that both of you are alive and healthy.”

Noli leaned into his warmth. “Would you mind giving me a few minutes to throw on some clothes? I think I’m going to come too.”

He smiled, but kept the joy out of his mouth for fear she’d change her mind. “Of course.”

His massive muscles next to such a delicate thing got her every time. Such a big man was wrapped around the tiny little fingers of his newborn son and daughter. She did not believe that he loved her but there was no doubt that he loved their children.

She hurried and dressed. A few minutes later she was seated next to Cooper with their children in their car seats in the back. “Thank you for coming.”

“I know it’s important to you.”

“Which is why it means a lot to me. I know this isn’t your kind of thing. But growing up without my father was hard for me. Ma told me God was my father, it may sound cheesy, but I took that to heart.”

“It doesn’t sound cheesy. There’s nothing cheesy about faith helping you.”

“It did help me. That and she got me into boxing to help with my anger issues, which got me into weight lifting, which kept me out of trouble and helped me get my football scholarship.”

“You must still have a lot of anger to work out as much as you do. I mean your muscles have muscles.”

“You know every time you tease me about my physique all I hear is, ‘you’re a hottie and I want your body’ because I know that’s what you want to say, but you’re too afraid to.”

“That is not true. I don’t use the word hottie and if I did, I wouldn’t use it to describe you. I don’t want your body either.”

“Liar. You want this.” He raised his shirt and t-shirt revealing his well-defined abdomen.

“No I don’t,” she lied. She did want him. Right now she wanted to reach out and touch what might be the most perfect abs ever to grace this earth.

“Do you smell smoke?”

“No,” she said sniffing.

“I do. Never mind, it’s just your liar pants on fire.” She moved to hit him but he grabbed her hand and planted it on exposed abs. “Every time you hit me, I know it’s because you just want to touch me. It’s beyond a want, it’s a need. Admit you need to touch me.”

“I will do no such thing!” she said trying unsuccessfully to pull her hand away. “This is highly inappropriate behavior on the way to church.”

He raised her hand to his lips then placed it back on her lap. “You’re right. It would be better to save this for the ride back so we can do something about it when we get home.”

Noli and Kayla were setting up her office in the room next to the storage area in the banquet hall. It was pretty small, but a desk and chairs, and a bookcase fit in it with room left over for an area rug and a playpen for the twins. It was quite small, but it would work well as a space to visit with potential clients. Plus there was a window. The natural light reflecting off the barely blue walls made it seem larger.

“Thank you Kayla,” Noli said.  She continued before losing her nerve. Kayla’s help had been welcomed, but she wanted to discuss something since she was staying. “You’ve been so helpful, especially considering.”

“You’re welcome. But considering what?”

“Considering how you feel about Cooper and he and I being,” she hunched her shoulder looking for the correct term, “whatever we are now.”

“How I feel about Cooper?” Kayla asked stopping her task and looking confused.

“I know that you’re in love with him. Or like him, or you think he’s sexy, or something.” Noli’s nerves made her ramble.

Kayla doubled over in laughter until tears were streaming from her face. She plopped into one of the chairs and wiped her eyes with her forearm. “I’m not in love with Cooper,” she managed to get out between laughs.

Noli’s nervousness was replaced by confusion and a touch of embarrassment. She didn’t know what was so funny. “But I heard you tell him you love him.”

“I do love him, but not in a romantic way. And definitely not in a sexy way. That’s just nasty, and illegal.”

It was Noli’s turn to be confused. She sat in the chair next to Kayla on the guest side of the desk. “What do you mean it’s illegal?”

“Shoot!” Kayla slapped her hand over her mouth. All the humor from the previous second was gone from her face. All the color drained from her already pale skin leaving her almost translucent.

“What?”

“Can you act like you didn’t hear that?”

“Sure I can,” Noli said with a reassuring smile, “but I won’t.”

“Cooper and I agreed not to say anything to anybody.” Kayla sank back into the stuffed chair and closed her eyes as if that would make her invisible or take back what she’d let slip.

“What if I guess? You wouldn’t be saying anything if I figured it out.”

Kayla opened one eye and peaked at Noli. “Okay, but I’m not going to help you guess and I’m not going to tell you if you’re right.”

“Will you tell me if I’m wrong?”

Kayla nodded.

“What would make it illegal?” Noli asked herself out loud as her brain started to roll over ideas. Kayla was nineteen, so it wasn’t because she was under age. If she were already married that would only make it illegal for them to be married, but not for them to have a relationship. That would be immoral, but still legal. They had to be related. But how? She was too old to be his daughter.

“Are you his cousin?” Noli asked.

Kayla shook her head.

It wouldn’t make any sense any way to keep being cousins secret. Plus, Daphne was an only child so Cooper didn’t have an aunt or uncle to produce a cousin. Though he could have aunts and uncles on his father’s side? His father! Noli studied Kayla’s face as if it were the first time she’d seen her. She couldn’t believe she’d never noticed the resemblance. The coloring was different, but many of the features were the same.

“You’re his half-sister.”

“Please don’t let him know I let you know.”

“I won’t, but why keep that a secret?”

“We wanted to get to know each other first. Plus he was concerned about how his mom would react.”

“He didn’t want his mother to be hurt by the fact he went and started another family,” Noli said understanding.

“He didn’t go and start another family. He did the same thing to my mother. Except he didn’t bother to marry her and he left way before he left Coop and Daphne.” Kayla stared up at the small window behind the desk. “I don’t have a single memory of him. Cooper’s been more than just a big brother, he’s been like a substitute dad. And Daphne’s been like my funny aunt. I don’t want to hurt either of them so you can’t say anything, to anybody. Not even Diane. And you can’t let Cooper know you know.”

“I promise you I won’t say a word.”

“Thank you.” Kayla hugged Noli. “It feels good to be able to share.”

“If you’re his sister that means the twins have an aunt!”

“Yep, I’m their aunt,” Kayla said smiling as though being an aunt was the same as being the Queen of England. “It’s so funny that you thought I had the hots for Coop.”

“I would see you looking at him all doe eyed. Or at least I thought you were looking at him that way. I must have misinterpreted the look.”

The love struck expression crossed her face. “The person I look at that way is Trevor. Shoot!” Kayla slapped her hand over her mouth again.

“You like Trevor?”

“I do, I really, really do.”

Noli began to think back over those moments she saw that smitten look in Kayla’s eyes and tried to remember if Trevor was there.  He was. Each and every time he was there on the outside of the frame like an extra in a movie. She let out a little chuckle.

“What’s funny about me liking Trev?” Kayla asked.

“Nothing. I was laughing at me. I just realized that all those times I saw you looking lovesick, Trevor was there too, but I never noticed him.”

“That’s because you love Cooper. You only have eyes for him.”

Noli ignored the observation and returned the conversation back to Kayla. “You should tell Trevor how you feel.”

“You mean like how you’ve told Cooper you’re in love with him?”

Noli smirked in appreciation of the girl’s ability to change the subject back. “I’m not in love with him.”

“And snow is green and grass is blue. You’re so in love with him that you thought I was in love with him because you hadn’t noticed the totally hot guy standing right next to him. When you only have eyes for one man that means you’re in love. And if you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t have casually confronted me about potentially poaching what’s yours.”

When did Kayla become so wise? “We aren’t talking about me and Cooper. We’re talking about you and Trevor.”

“You’re not talking about you and Coop, but I am.”

“You should ask him out on a date,” Noli said refusing to talk about her feelings for Cooper.

“Who?”

And the less than wise Kayla was back. “Trevor, you should ask him out.”

“I can’t do that. He’ll turn me down because he thinks I’m a little kid and then it’ll be awkward. I’ll just live in my fantasy world where he has a thing for me but is too shy to ask me out.”

“Maybe I can drop hints. See if he likes you and get him to ask you out. Kind of be your matchmaker.”

“Oh, no. I don’t trust matchmaking schemes anymore.”

“Anymore? Did someone try to set you up and it not work out?”

“Oh no, not with me. I’m talking about,” she caught herself, “someone back home.”

“I still think it’s a good idea. That way you won’t feel embarrassed and things won’t get awkward if he doesn’t feel the same. I think I’m going to do it, unless you want to tell him.”

“I am not saying anything to that man and neither should you. I wish I could keep quiet. It’s like my mouth doesn’t know what a secret is and just keep letting them fall out. Like how it almost let out about the matchmaking plan for you and Cooo— hachoo” she faked a sneeze. Noli’s face let her know it was too late. “Shoot, I did it again.”

“What matchmaking plan for me and Cooper?”

“See, I’m just blabbering today. I’m just going to shut up before I let anything else out.”

“You can shut up after you spill the rest of the matchmaking beans. Who was planning what and when?”

“Nobody planned anything.”

Noli didn’t respond. She took the silence with a semi-smile page out of Daphne’s book. The awkwardness had always made Noli talk and she knew that Kayla wouldn’t be able to hold out too long. It worked like a Jedi mind trick as the girl cracked in seconds. “Daphne and Rose. I overheard them one day talking about giving you two a nudge. That’s what they called it, a nudge. At first I thought they said fudge, but that didn’t make sense. Who’s secretive about fudge? That’s a weird thing to whisper about.”

“Did they say how they were nudging?” Noli said to get Kayla back on track.

“They made sure you two spent plenty of time together when you were planning the wedding. Apparently neither of them being able to drive you around was a ruse. That’s their word too, ruse, I had to look it up.”

“Was anyone else in on this plan?”

“Not that I heard.”

“They don’t know I know, so don’t tell them I told you.”

“I won’t.” Noli couldn’t muster up the mad she wanted to feel. The memories of the time she got to spend with Cooper made her a little happy they’d plotted against her. “Any more secrets you want to spill?”

“The only thing left to share is my midnight kiss with Trevor on New Year’s Eve, and I’m not sharing that.” Her hand went to her mouth again. “I need to start thinking before I speak.”

“If he kissed you why are you afraid to ask him out?”

“Because, he’s not mentioned it. It’s like it never happened. I think he kissed me because there was no one else nearby and it was midnight.”

“Or maybe he’s like me and thinks you have a thing for Cooper. And who’d try to poach his boss’ girl?”

“I’m not his girl, you are.”

She ignored the part about being Cooper’s girl because any protest would have been ignored by Kayla. “Trevor doesn’t know that the private time you spend with Cooper is sibling bonding time.”

“Oh, I never thought of that. So maybe I’ll make a move.”

“Make a move where?”

Both women turned their heads to see Cooper standing there. Neither of them heard him come in and wondered how much of their conversation he’d heard.

“Nowhere. I was talking about making a move on this guy, at school.” Cooper seemed to accept the answer and not notice her inability to tell a lie.

“How about you make moves on your books instead of worrying about some knucklehead.”

That was such a big brother thing to say. How did Noli not see the nature of their relationship before now?

“Don’t call Tr—”

“Are you here to hang the curtains?” Noli interrupted to stop Kayla from letting Trevor’s name slip.

“Nope, I just carry a drill around with me for fun.”

“You’re the knucklehead,” Kayla said scrunching her nose. “There’s not enough room in here for all of us to work. I’ll go see if Trevor needs help.” She was out of the door in an instant.

“What were you and Kayla talking about?” Cooper asked as he walked over to the window.

“Who knows? It’s like she has to talk to live. Words just fall out of her mouth a mile a second and I can’t keep up.”