Shatter (12 page)

“…are you sure about all of this?”
Ruben
clicked through the pictures on the phone. “I mean, this is pretty big, Angelica.”

“I’m positive.”

“
You do know what this will do?”

“Of course
,
”
c
ame Angelicas shrill voice
.
“I just think people need to know the truth. Nat needs to know the truth. I mean,
she’s such a sweetheart, and look at what he’s doing behind her back
!
”

“They weren’t together during these pictures
,
”
Ruben
pointed out
. “
I was at that premiere.”

Angelica laughed
.
“Does it really matter? Once a whore, always a whore. Once
a
cheater…
well
,
you get what I mean.
Besides
,
once you add it with that other little piece of information, you have media gold.
”

I tensed against Alyssa
.
S
he shook her head and kissed my lips, probably to keep me from making
a complete fool out of myself.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Great.” Angelica sighed
. “
I think it will really help our ratings.”

“She means
her
ratings
.
the tramp
,
” Alyssa whispered into my ear
.
H
er n
ails
dug
into my shoulders.

“Ouch
,
” I grumbled.

“Sorry.” She released my burning skin and sighed
. “
I just really don’t like that girl.”

My fault. Again. Seriously, I wish someone would have walked around with a bat when
I was a teenager and smack
ed
me in the ass every
time I made a bad choice.

Then
a
gain
,
I would have been dead by twelve.

So there was that.

“It will be fine.” I cupped Alyssa’s face
. “
Besides, I trust Alec
.
W
hatever this is about, whatever he did
,
h
e loves Nat.”

Alyssa chewed her lower lip
,
then rubbed
both of
them together
. “
‘
Kay. Let’s go make friendly with the enemy so we can finish this damn barbeque.”

“I love it when you curse.”

“Shut up.” She punched me in the
gut and grabbed my arm
,
draping it over her shoulder as we
returned
to the middle of the yard.

Alec

“They’re going to find us!” Nat chuckle
d as I kissed her throat again.

“Screw them
,
” I ground out as I slammed her against the backdoor to the garage. “I want you. Here.
Now.”
My hands couldn’t move fast enough against her clothes as I
pulled
them from her body.

“Demanding
,
”
s
he said breathlessly as sh
e lifted my shirt over my head.

“Always demanding when it comes to you.” I sucked her bottom lip, my hands went to
her hot skin. Every touch with her felt like the first, and no matter how many times
we kissed
,
it was never enough.
After seeing April, I needed Nat, needed her more than ever. I was being selfish
,
but I had to kiss her
.
S
he had to wash away all that guilt, all that shame. She was my high and I was in dire
need of a
fix
.

“Mmm.” She giggled then jumped into my arms.
S
he loved to do that. I think it was because I was tall.
I knew Nat
liked feeling small, protected, and she like
d
it when I carried her and had my way with her. This was me not complaining as I pulled
her shirt over her head with one hand
and braced
her against the wall.

Nat
reached for my jeans and jerked them down. I stepped out and tossed them hurriedly
to the corner. I hoped the camera crew was confused
about
where we were
,
because things were going to be getting a little to
o
R rated for a reality show.

Nat pulled away from me and shimmied out of her short skirt, leaving her almost naked,
except for her red bikini.

I’d memorized every curve of her body, every indentation held my mark, and that’s
how I wanted it. Maybe I was a bit possessive, but I wanted to brand her, make it
so that anyone who saw her knew she belonged to
me
. She was mine. I greedily reached out and grabbed her hips. They fit perfect in my
hands, I groaned and closed my eyes. Every part of her was precious, and every
part drove me freaking insane.

I hated the out
-
of
-
control feeling I had around April. Like any second the shit would hit the fan and
people would know
—
Nat, precious Nat, would know. I was turning into someone I hated, but I could
n’t
care less about April now
.
I wanted her pushed out of my brain, out of my psyche, my memories.
I couldn’t keep living in fear
.
L
iving
with
absolute drama wasn’t me. I didn’t want any part of that life anymore. Was I selfish
for wanting
one last
time
with Nat be
fore I went to the press myself?

Before I threw an innocent woman under the bus?

Before I created such a chasm
in my relationship with Demetri
that he would never speak to me again?

Before I tol
d the truth to save my own ass
?

Nat’s hands went around my neck
.
S
he jerked my head down and devoured my mouth. Her tongue was hot as it slid slowly
into my mouth. I groaned against her lips and controlled the pressure I gave back,
driving myself craz
y with need. I wanted her. Now.

“Oh…”
a
startled voice said from
behind us
.

Cursing, and pushing Nat behind me, I turned to see April standing on the top stair
leading into the house
. “I’m sorry, I thought this was the
way out of the house
. My mistake.” Her
eyes gleamed with disa
p
proval
as she glanced from me to Nat and then back to me again.
Shit, she wasn’t my mom
.
S
he had no right.

“Well
,
”
I s
aid gruffly
. “
Clearly this isn’t an exit
.”

April snorted
. “
Funny, I didn’t think it was a bedroom either.”

“Son of a—”

Nat smacked me in the back and whispered for me to behave. If she
had
any idea what this woman had done, what I had done, that would be the
last
thing she would be asking me
to do
.

“Keys
,
” April choked out
. “
Demetri
said something about keys.”

“Does this really look like the time
?
” I snapped.

April stood her ground.

So she was going to be like that. She was going to play
the
innocent step
-
mom. Fine. I sighed and relaxed a bit
. “
We’ll be right there. I’ll give you the keys and you can leave. Sound good?”

“Oh thank you, that would be
…
lovely.” Her gaze flickered to Nat br
iefly before shutting the door.

I exhaled a curse.

“Well
,
that was awkward.” Nat huffed from behind me
. “
We just got caught having sex by Jaymeson
’
s mom.” She let out a giggle and went in search for her discarded skirt.

I, however, stood frozen in place. Visions of Jaymeson
’
s mom
dancing through my head, the rose perfume. I suddenly felt sick all over again but
knew it was my own damn fault.

“Hey
…
” Nat handed me my shirt
. “
You okay? You look sick
.
You still feeling rotten?”

“No.” I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand and sighed
. “
Um, I’m just…
weirded out that Jaymeson
’
s mom’s going to be staying at our beach house.”

“Forget about it.” Nat
nudged
me
. “
Besides it’s not like we’l
l be seeing her
.
W
e don’t even
stay there.”

“Right.”

“Let’s go
.
E
veryone
’
s probably looking for us.”

“Not yet.” I jerked her against me and quickly
pulled her suit from her body.

Desperation had made me a horrible person
.
T
hat was the last thing I thought as I
took
my girlfriend
against the wall
of the
garage.

She gasped at the force of our bodies sliding together. I bit back a curse as I allowed
the ecstasy of the moment to wash over me
—
to numb the guilt and sadness
.

“Alec
,
I—
”
I covered
her mouth with mine
as I lifted her into my arms and pus
hed her against the dirty wall.

“I love you.” And I meant it. Even though we weren’t making love. This wasn’t love.
This was sex. Raw sex. I was stealing from her. Stealing innocence and in return giving
her a false security. And I hated myself for it, almost as much as I hated myse
lf for needing it. Needing her.

Nat opened her eyes and looked at me. Really looked at me, as I slowly pulled away
from her and allowed her to slide
down the wall.

Those brown eyes were piercing into my very soul. I couldn’t look away. I knew that
guilt was like a b
lazing red sign across my face.

She swallowed and lifted her hand to cup my face
. “
Alec, whatever’s going on…
you know I’ll always be by your side, right?”

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I nodded then found the words
. “
Can you promise me that?”

“Alec, you’re acting like the
sky’s
falling or something. I’m. Right. Here.”

“I know.”

Nat released my face
. “
But damn if the guy I love isn’t a lifetime away from me.” She smiled sadly
. “
You ask me to promise you that I’ll never leave,
but
it feel
s a lot
like you keep trying to say goodbye
.
”

She quickly adjusted her suit and threw on her clothes. “I’ll see you outside
,
okay?”

“Be right there.” I
choked out
. “I’m still a bit…” I
shrugged
.

Nat licked her lips and kissed my mouth.

“I’ll be outside waiting for you.” Her eyes held the promise of trust, and I felt
like
with
every opportunity I was given, I just said screw it and dug my hole de
e
per.

After a few minutes, I exited the garage and made my way
toward
the SUV where I had the spare key to the beach
house. I unlocked the car and rummaged around inside the cons
ole
, before pulling out the set of ke
ys and slamming the door again.

“Hey.”

“Shit.” I jumped back when a feminine hand reached out to touch my shoulder. Why couldn’t
everything just disappear? Go back to normal? I held out the key to her, willing her
to hurry and take it so I
could get back to the barbeque.

April li
c
ked her lips and slowly reached out to grab the set of keys. “I’m sorry
,
you know.”

“For?”
The muscle in my jaw clenched tightly making my teeth click together.

Her eyes welled with tears
. “
Everything.”

Damn. I hated it when girls cried, and even though April was older she was no different.
She was going through her own hell
—
one I couldn’t even fathom. A
nd here all I could think about was throwing her under the bus and getting a
s far away from her as I could.

Her shoulders shook as she wiped away a few stray tears with the back of her hand.
Sighing, I pulled her into my embrace and held her. “It will work out. I promise.”

She hiccupped, nodding, and then clenching my shirt between her hands as she tu
cked her head against my chest.

I didn’t know if I was supposed to let her cry or push her away. I mean
,
I wanted to comfort her, and yeah I did feel like shit, but I was too paranoid about
cameras to want to hold her any longer.

Thankfully, she pulled back a few seconds later. “Thanks, Alec.” Her eyes were glassy.
“For what it’s worth. I’m sorry
,
you know
?
”

“For ruining my life?” I snorted. “Right. I’m sorry too. Just…” I ran my hands through
my disheveled hair
. “
Just figure your shit out while you’re here and do everyone a favor and disappear.
No good will come from us being seen together
,
and we only have a few weeks until Angelica makes good on her threat.”

“But
…
” April reached out and grabbed my arm
. “
You said you won’t tell.
You’re not going to tell him are you
?”

Pissed, I jerked back
. “
Well, what could I really say? Huh
,
April? What could I tell them other than what you’ve already told me? Sorry
,
but I woke up naked in some married woman
’
s b
ed with a hell of a headache? Sorry
,
but somehow, Angelica got pictures of me leaving the hotel room with my shirt on backwards?
Or how about this
?
T
his should be good. Somehow there were pictures taken of me in the woman’s bed…
and now I’m
be
ing blackmailed by her husband and some skinny bitch that I’m forced to work with
every day as a sort of penance for my sins. Which of those options sound
s
good enough to you? Huh?
Or wait
…
”
I was really on a roll
. “
How about, hey Demetri
,
guess what
!
Jaymeson
’
s mom—”