Seer: Thrall (7 page)

"Ready?" she asked. Her voice sounded strange, and when I looked over my shoulder, her fangs were showing.

"You're going to bite me!"

"No," she said. "I'm going to bite myself."

After that, she didn't wait. It took a few contortions, working around my head, but she took her wrist in her mouth and bit down savagely. A moment later, she pressed the wound to my mouth. I opened reflexively, and I got a mouth full of her blood.

I gagged at first, and I tried to spit it out, but she held me tightly, and I found myself swallowing, choking down the vile blood.

I got several swallows, and they all tasted terrible. I tried fighting her off me, but she was far, far stronger than I was, and she didn't relent.

Then something changed. Maybe the blood didn't taste so bad after all, and I was so tired and hungry. I stopped fighting her.  Instead, my grip on her arm grew softer, and I held her hand and arm, holding her wrist where I could drink.

It felt good. It tasted good. Really good.

I clamped my lips more firmly around her wrist, and I began sucking greedily, a little noisily.

I couldn't have explained it, but I had to have more. More. Oh my god, I needed more!

She let me drink, crooning softly to me.

"Mine, Sidney," she said into my ear.

I growled at her and continued to suck hard at her wrist. But the wound healed, and soon I was sucking unblemished skin.

"That's all, Sidney," she said. "Let go now."

I was so weak that she could easily have pulled her hand away. I continued to suck at her wrist, whimpering.

"I know it's hard, but it's best if you let go willingly," Solange said.

Slowly, I released her wrist. She didn't pull away, but instead we lowered her wrist to my lap, and I was being cradled by her, one arm wrapped around me in a gentle hug.

I felt
good
.

"More?" I asked plaintively.

"Your body won't know what to do with it," she replied. "It would turn you manic, but we want the blood to help you renew your muscles. For that, you need a little to help nudge you along. Sidney, close your eyes and let yourself float a little. Enjoy the feeling."

Obedient, I did as she said. Solange talked quietly to me. I let the words waft around me.

I couldn't judge the time, but later I thought perhaps we lay together for a half hour or longer. Eventually I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder at her. "I'm high."

"Yes," she said.

"This is why those men wanted Aubree."

"Yes and no," she replied. "Like your blood, it's best straight from the source. Like your blood, it's also even more potent when taken from a source closer to my heart." She caressed my neck in emphasis. "It loses most of its healing abilities very quickly, less than an hour, but it can make someone high for hours if stored at room temperature and as much as a couple of weeks if refrigerated."

"Is it addictive?"

"Not physically. Emotionally, yes, for someone who has an addictive personality."

I thought about that and leaned back against her again.

"You could make almost anyone love you," I told her.

"I'm not proud to admit I've done that," she replied. "We all make mistakes, right? We all have things we wish we had done differently. The longer we live, the more chances we have to accrue a list of mistakes."

"And power corrupts," I added.

"Yes. Power corrupts."

"Solange, you do not strike me as corrupt."

She tightened her arms around me.

"Thank you," she said. "I've made mistakes. I've been very self-indulgent, for decades at a time. Even when I stopped being a complete monster, it was another century before I began having something resembling empathy for the humans in my life, and it was only about a hundred years ago that I decided I must run my life with a strong set of ethics."

"Did it hurt?"

"The bite hurts," she said. "I have a much higher tolerance for pain than you do, but it hurts. But after that, no, it doesn't hurt. It feels good for me, too, Sidney, although not as mind-blowing as for you, and not as good as if I feed from you."

"You must get an emotional high."

"From your reaction? Yes."

"It's going to be hard to stay mad at you." I paused. "Did you tell the therapist to order me to drink your blood?"

"No, Sidney. It really will help you, a great deal. How do you feel?"

"Better than I have in months," I admitted. She chuckled.

* * * *

I woke when Solange sat down on the edge of the bed. It was Wednesday evening, a week after being taken from my prison. "Hello," she said when I opened my eyes. "How do you feel?"

"Good," I said. "Sore."

She was still binding me to the bed when I was alone. She allowed me freedom only if she or Thomas was in attendance. I had stopped complaining, for now. She turned to my restraints and freed my hands then moved down to my legs, peeling the covers away to free them. I was dressed in normal clothing that I'd actually pulled on myself. It was just a tee shirt and shorts, but it had felt nice to wear real clothes.

"You weren't here this afternoon," I said. I glanced at her wrist. "I'm becoming addicted."

"Emotionally, yes," she admitted.

I looked down at her wrist. I'm sure she could follow my gaze. "You have to stop." I licked my lips. "It feels so good, but you have to stop."

"You've been doing very well," she said. "Your recovery is well ahead where it would be otherwise."

"You have to stop, Solange," I said. I tore my gaze from her wrists.

She didn't say anything, and when she crawled up into the bed and cradled me, I didn't stop her.

"Solange... No."

"You're strong, Sidney," she said. She bit her wrist then presented in front of me, holding a towel under it to catch the welling blood. I took her wrist in both my hands and stared at the blood.

I could smell it. The scent was intoxicating.

"Solange, please don't do this to me."

"You're strong, Sidney. It is your choice. Take a taste."

"No."

"Take a taste!" she said firmly. "I don't want to make you, but I will. Take a taste, then decide."

I lifted her wrist, and as it got close, the scent was overwhelming, and I latched my mouth around her wrist, drawing heavily for a few seconds.

It tasted divine. It felt amazing, and I shuddered for a moment.

"No!" I said, pushing her wrist away. "No."

Solange kissed my head. "I told you that you were strong." She wrapped her wrist in the towel for a moment, dabbing at it, then dropped the towel off the side of the bed, the wound healed. She hugged me briefly then climbed from the bed.

I whimpered, but I didn't stop her.

Solange stood next to the bed. "You're stronger than this," she said. "Unless you are in desperate need, in the future, I am not offering. If you want my blood, you will have to ask. This is not me trying to control you or humble you. This is me giving you control over your choices. Do you understand, Sidney?"

I nodded. "If I ask?"

"Then, unless I decide it's a risk for you, I'll fulfill the request. No strings."

I nodded again.

"Are you staying? Or were you going to tuck me back into bed right away."

"I wondered if you would let me take you for a roll outside." She gestured to the waiting wheelchair. I could walk, but not very far, and I wasn't steady. I had a walker I used to make it to the bathroom.

"All right," I said. "I'd like that. But I don't know if I'm dressed for the weather."

"I'll bundle you up," she promised.

I didn't need her help, but she'd gotten used to providing it. She put an arm around me as I sat up, then hovered closely as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed. There were slippers waiting for me, and she held me as I slipped one foot into them, then the other. I moved slowly to the chair and sat down carefully. Once I was settled, she collected the blanket from the bed and tucked it all around me, wrapping it around my legs and tucking it into the sides and over my shoulders. All that you could see of me was from my neck up.

"If you get cold anyway, we'll come in," Solange said. She moved behind me and began pushing me out the door.

Neither of us said anything for a while. She carried me downstairs -- it seemed to be nothing to her to do so -- then wheeled me outside. It was cool, and the sun had set, but the walkway to her garden was softly lit. We came to a stop, and she positioned my chair so it was facing a wooden bench. We'd come here before. Solange locked the wheels then moved around me and sat down, facing me. She sat at the edge of the bench and leaned forward to clasp my hands through the blanket.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said. "But this is a serious conversation."

"About the ritual?" We hadn't done it yet. She nodded.

"It is intimate, Sidney."

"I wish you would just trust me, Solange," I said. "I haven't earned your distrust."

"Binding you to me will help me direct your dreams," she said. "It's necessary, Sidney."

I looked away, out across the garden, barely visible in the dark of the night. "I've been trying to stay angry with you," I told her. "Being angry is better than grieving what we had. If you do this, then I'm just another one of your pets in a long line of pets."

"It's not like that, Sidney."

I looked back at her. "It certainly is. I thought I was special, at least to you."

"You are."

"Never mind," I said. I didn't believe her. "You've lived forever. I'm just another human, a walking blood bank, but one with interesting dreams."

With a grunt, she pulled away from me, turning her back and walking a dozen steps away.

"I thought you'd at least try to trust me," I said. "But all that matters to you are my dreams."

She spun around, and her fangs were showing. "Do you think this is easy for me? You talk about how aggrieved you are, how much I hurt you, but there are two of us who hurt here, Sidney. I don't see you letting go of your anger, except when my wrist is in your mouth. I don't see you trying to heal the rift between us."

"I'm not the one ripping it apart!" I shot back. "How about you go a few days being reminded, every time you try to roll over to find a comfortable position, that the woman who used to love you now distrusts you as completely as you distrust me? I don't deserve it!" I screamed. "My god, even when I was as weak as a kitten and couldn't sit up without help, you kept me strapped to that bed. Even now, when I can't make it more than halfway across the room without support, I'm strapped in, twenty hours a day. Let's see you go one day feeling like I've felt for a week, especially after the last seven months!"

She growled at me.

"Oh, stifle it," I said. "You're the ancient vampire, with a lifespan of ten or twenty or a hundred humans. Clearly your existence is far more important than mine. My free will, my happiness, my right to pursue a fulfilling life is nothing compared to your centuries. They mean nothing compared to the possibility, on no evidence, that I might betray you and your secrets. Go ahead, do your fucking ritual. I won't fight you. I'll cooperate as you suck my brains out and turned me into a mindless dreaming machine."

"You agreed!" she said. "You said, 'Anything, Solange. I'll do anything.' How can I trust you when you go back on that now, barely a week later."

"I'm not going back on anything!" I retorted. "I just told you to do it. If you are incapable of feeling guilt, then nothing I say matters the slightest to you. If you are capable of feeling guilt, and my words are bringing guilt, maybe you should reconsider your choices."

"You'll be happy," she said defensively. "I'll take care of you."

"I got along just fine before you came along," I retorted. "The only reason I would need you to take care of me is because you want to turn my brain into mush." I began to scream. "You took everything from me! You took my house, my life, my friends. What happened to my cats, Solange? Did you eat them?"

"Of course not!" she said. "You know they don't like me. They're with Dolores."

"You never should have accepted my invitation to a date, Solange! You are just as self-centered as you were two hundred years ago. You destroyed my life. It doesn't require a seer to know this wasn't going to turn out well, but you went ahead anyway, knowing you were never going to trust me."

She turned away.

"God!" I said. "I only have myself to blame. I should have run when the dreams first showed me what you were, metaphor or nothing. But no, not me. I thought you were fascinating. I thought you were elegant and charming. Do it. Do it, Solange! But make sure you take enough of my brain I don't remember how stupid I was to ever believe I could trust you."

Her back stiffened.

"Oh, you didn't like that, hmm? Trust goes both ways. I trusted you, and I was an utter fool, so of course, you'd be a fool to trust me. Is that it? Or is it just that you flat out don't care, and I'm so beneath your notice, it doesn't matter what you've ruined. You should be ashamed."