Seer: Thrall (11 page)

"Regular dreams. I'm sorry."

"Shh," she replied. "Don't try to force it. Just let what happens, happen. Do you have to use the bathroom or change positions?"

"No," I said. But I squirmed around just a little anyway.

"Look into my eyes," she said.

That happened twice more. I knew she was gone when I woke up later and the room was dark, but I quietly said, "Solange?" anyway. I grew a little sad she had left me, but I couldn't expect her to sit with me all night.

I got up and used the bathroom then moved to stand at the window, looking out at the moonlit garden. The world was quiet.

I wondered if it would remain that way.

* * * *

That became our new pattern for the next week. At every nap and every bed time, Solange tucked me in and then used her vampiric skills to try to induce dreams. I had dreams, but mundane dreams only.

I began to grow nervous. What if I couldn't dream for her? Would she put me back in her blood bank? Did I have value outside of my dreams? I started to get a little snippy, and after a day or so, she called me on it.

"I thought we were doing all right," she said. "You've been biting my head off again."

We were sitting outside near the lake, and I'd said something unkind.

I didn't respond. I didn't want to tell her what was wrong. But she wasn't having it. "Sidney, the terms of our agreement require a response to that."

"I don't believe they do," I said.

"Then the rules, which I set, require a response to that."

I almost offered another smart remark, but I held it back. But from her expression, I think she knew it was a close thing.

"Just tell me," she said.

"You're going to put me back." I said it sullenly.

"Put you back where?"

"Don't be coy. If I don't start having my dreams, I'm worthless to you as anything but a meal."

"Oh Sidney," she said. "No. The only way you're going back is if you betray me. You're not going to, so it will never happen."

"What if you decide I'm intentionally suppressing my dreams, or decide I'm having them but not telling you? Wouldn't you consider that betrayal of our agreement?"

"Why would I come to that conclusion?"

"I don't know. The war is coming, and we're sitting here beside the lake instead of doing something about it."

"Your dreams will resume or they won't. I'll figure out how to encourage them, or I won't. We're both operating in good faith here, Sidney."

"But-"

"Sidney, you are not capable of successfully lying to me under intense questioning. You might be able to remain quiet about something, but if I start asking questions, I will get answers, and I will detect truth from fiction. If I think you're hiding your dreams from me, I'll start grilling you, and you'll eventually tell me whatever I want to know."

"What if I refuse to answer?"

"Why are bringing up something that isn't going to happen?"

I looked away. "I'm being stupid again."

"You're scared, that's all. You're finding monsters where there aren't any."

"I wasn't sure we'd come to a final conclusion on whether there were any monsters living in this house." I said it to be funny, and Solange smiled.

"Maybe that's what we should be discussing, not events that aren't going to happen. Sidney, you are safe. I understand your fears, but none of this is going to happen."

"Promise me!"

"I promise, the only way you're going back is if you betray me. Now you promise me it will never happen."

"I won't betray you, Solange. I promise."

"All right then. You'll keep you promise. I'll keep mine. And now, you're going to be patient. Your dreams will start again or they won't."

"You're going to get tired of waiting."

"Hello. Vampire. I have all the time in the world."

"The war is coming."

"Yes, but it's only simmering for now." She smiled. "Okay?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry I was snippy."

"Already forgotten," she said.

"One of the early signs of dementia is short term memory loss," I said, and Solange laughed.

"We need to experiment," I suggested.

"We will," she said. "Patience. There's something else I want to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

"I called Dolores last night."

"You're just telling me now?"

"I wanted to wait until you were relaxing."

"And not snippy?"

She smiled. "Yep."

"I'm sorry I was snippy," I said in a small voice then grew more cheerful. "What did you talk about with her?"

"I told her you're coming home. You arrive Thursday evening, but you'll be too wiped out to see her. She'll come over briefly on Friday, and if you think you'll be up to it, cards on Saturday."

"Really?"

She nodded. "She knows you can't talk about the project you were on. She won't ask." We went over my story, but I had a hard time paying attention.

Solange was letting me see my friends. Well, one of them, anyway.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and woke.

"Hey there, you," Dolores said. "How are you feeling?"

"Dolores!" I said. I started to get up, but she put pressure on my shoulder.

"Solange said you should stay in bed. Can I get you anything?"

"A kiss," I asked immediately. "I promise I'm not catchy."

She laughed, moved a hand to the back of my neck, then bent over and gave me a warm kiss, as warm as any I'd ever received from her. It was the first kiss I'd received in eight months. I reached for her and pulled her tightly to me.

"If I'm not allowed to get up, will you crawl in with me?" I asked. "Maybe put the head up first." I turned to the controls and began making adjustments. Once I was done, I moved over, and Dolores joined me on the bed. I curled up with her, and she held me gently.

"Solange told me not to wear you out. I can't believe she arranged a hospital bed and everything. You must really have been sick."

"I was," I said. "I'm still weak, but I have therapy to get stronger."

"Therapy?" she asked quietly. "It was that bad?"

"Yeah, but I'm on the mend. Thank you for coming, Dolores."

"Of course, Sidney. Are you sure I can't get you anything?"

"Just your company. God, it feels so good to hold you."

She giggled. "I knew you were trying to get me into bed with you!"

I laughed. "Yeah. I'm a real lesbian powerhouse right now. I got so sick just as a ploy to get you into bed. I can't believe you saw through my elaborate plan."

"Well, that's because you fell into my even more elaborate plan. I took a job I shouldn't have just so that I'd be forced to hire you and then eventually lure you into a friendship, biding my time until you were recovering from a long illness and would ask me to help comfort you."

"Wow! I never would have guessed," I said. "You're good."

"Yeah. But in my plans, I thought I'd be the one nursing you back to health. And you'd be so grateful, you'd fall madly in love with me."

"Oh, but I am," I said. I closed my eyes and held her tightly. "I've missed you so much, Dolores."

"Me too," she said.

We lay quietly for a minute before I asked, "How are the cats?"

"They miss their mommy," she said. "But I think they were happier with me than here while you were gone. I was going to bring them back, but..."

"Solange asked you to keep them?"

"Until you're better."

"They hate her, you know, and she's not any more fond of them."

"How could she not like them? They're darlings."

It took me a moment before I spoke, and then it was said quietly. "Dolores, it's going to break my heart to ask, but did you want to keep them? Have they been good?"

She stilled.

"It's okay to say 'no'. I know what they can be like."

"Do you mean it?" she asked. "I could keep them? You could visit whenever you want, once you're stronger! Heck, you're at my house a lot anyway, when you're not off gallivanting who knows where."

"I can't say much, but I can say this: I spent virtually the entire last seven months living in a horrid underground facility. I never, ever want to go back."

"It was that bad?"

"Truly horrible. Worst experience of my life, not counting my parents' death."

"Oh Sidney, and then to get so sick besides."

"I'm home now." I paused. "You don't have to keep them, but if you want them, they're yours."

"I want them, but only if you're sure."

"Visitation rights?"

"Whenever you want. Thank you, Sidney."

"They can be shitty around lovers. If you ever need to give them back..."

"I won't, but if you ever want them back..."

"Not while I'm living here," I said. "Thank you. I've been so worried about them. And worried about you."

"I'm doing okay."

"Are you really?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she said. I thought she was lying. She giggled. "Without you there, competition for the grand prize each month is easier. I've won twice while you've been gone."

I laughed.

"Even better," she said. "I haven't won the booby prize. But now that you're home, are you, Solange, and Aubree going to start attending again? I told them they should keep coming while you were gone, but Solange said she would miss you too much and muttered something about burying herself in work so she'd be free to spend time with you when you got back."

"I don't know," I said. "I don't know how quickly I'll be strong enough."

"My house is a little small if we go back to three tables," she said. "But even if you're not strong enough for the cooking, we can still have everything here. I can handle the cooking, and Solange can be the host."

"Talk to Solange," I said. I paused. "We're sort of at odds with each other right now. We've had some fights. I don't want to make offers against her house right now."

"Oh. I'm sorry. You said that on the phone. I'm sure it will work out."

"We'll see. I haven't really forgiven her."

"Did she cheat on you?"

"No. I hold her responsible for my last eight months. I wouldn't have been there if not for her."

"I don't think you can blame her for that, Sidney. I'm sure she didn't know."

"Maybe not," I said. "But emotions aren't always logical."

"Well, try to forgive her. She's madly in love with you. But if you need a place to live, you know you have one with me."

We chatted about easier topics for a while. Then I asked, "How is work?"

"You know, Solange told me not to talk to you about it until you're stronger."

"That sounds ominous."

"She's just protecting you. I think you gave her a scare."

The only scare she had was fear I'd share her secrets, but I didn't say that to Dolores.

We had a few more minutes alone, and then there was a knock on the door. Solange entered a moment later.

"Damn," I said. "It's Nurse Ratchet."

Dolores scrambled out of bed. "Um."

"It's okay, Dolores," Solange said. "Sidney and I have been having a little ice cream before it's time to tuck her into bed for the night. I wanted to see what flavor you would like?"

Dolores smiled. "Raspberry Ripple."

"Excellent choice," Solange said. "Cookies and cream, Sidney?"

"I want a little cookies and cream and a little peppermint bon bon."

"I'll be up shortly." She turned to the door then turned back. "Dolores, you don't have to act guilty. Sidney needs all the comforting she can get right now."

Dolores nodded, but she didn't crawl back in bed with me. Instead she grabbed a chair and pulled it next to the bed.

"I thought I'd have her with the raspberry ripple."

I chuckled. "You have to ask for the really crappy kind if you want to stymie her. She doesn't buy the cheap brands."

"Why would I want crappy ice cream?" Dolores asked.

"I asked for vanilla once, and she was out because the staff used it for root beer floats. She was mortified to have to offer me something else. And really, I'd be happy with any of a half dozen of the flavors down in that freezer."

Solange was only gone about five minutes before she reappeared with a tray. There were three glass bowls of ice cream, spoons, and napkins. She passed them out and pulled up her own chair. Solange and Dolores chatted while we ate our ice cream. Once we were finished, Solange announced, "It's bed time for Sidney, but we'll see you tomorrow, Dolores."

Dolores didn't even attempt to stall. She popped up, told me how pleased she was that I was home, and gave me a quick, very chaste kiss.

"If you get ready for bed," Solange told me, "I'll walk Dolores out and be up in a few minutes."

"Going to talk about me?" I asked them.

"Of course," she said.

"I was a good girl, Momma," I said, putting on a little girl voice.

"I have no doubt," Solange said with a smile. She gave me a little help getting back out of the bed, although I didn't really need it, and I collected another hug and kiss from Dolores. And then they were gone.

By the time Solange returned ten minutes later, I was ready for bed, sitting on the edge, waiting for her.

"Did you quiz her to see what we talked about?"

"She wanted to know if you were going to be okay. I reassured her."

"Did you get a kiss?"

"I did. Jealous?"

"I got three, so no."

Solange smiled. I stood up from the bed as she approached and wrapped her in a tight hug. I think I surprised her. "Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

She wrapped her arms around me and said, "There's nothing to thank me for, Sidney. I don't have the right to treat you the way I have, and tonight wasn't anything but what you deserve in the first place."

"Thank you anyway," I replied. Then slowly I released her. I sat back on the bed. "Was it hard to trust me?"

"A little, but it's not Dolores that would make me nervous. It's the phone and your police detective. There's no way you would put your friends at risk."

"Do you worry about that? That I'll find a phone and make a phone call?"

"Not intellectually. It's a little hard emotionally."

"I won't." I paused. "Have you moved that facility yet?"

She offered a wry smile. "It was discussed. No, we're not moving it. It was exceedingly expensive to build."

"If you move it, I have no proof."

"Perhaps not, but I wouldn't want anyone looking too closely into how old I am."

I sat up straight. "I can't believe I haven't thought about that."

"Of course you have."

"Not about this part. I presumed I was older than you. But you're basically an old, old hag compared to me." I preened a little. "If you need my walker, let me know."

She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. It's good to see you feeling upbeat and teasing me, Sidney."

"I must seem like a child to you," I said, not letting go of the age difference. "When I was ten, I thought someone twelve was really old, and so much smarter than I was. At twenty, anyone below sixteen was a child, and even a lot of eighteen-year-olds were. At twenty-five, college kids were just that: kids. In my forties, I look back at myself when I was twenty-five, and I think about how naïve I was. I don't think that process stops."

"It doesn't, but understand that I was born in a very, very different time. Violence and death were common, but most people never traveled further than three miles from their homes. It hasn't come up, but you will find I have a more cavalier attitude about misery and death than you do, and it's not because I'm a vampire."

"Was the world still flat?"

She paused before answering. "Yes."

"Oh shit!" I said. "Really?" Solange nodded.

"In fairness, the world wasn't really considered flat. Even the ancients understood that. But the new world hadn't been discovered yet." She paused. "Well, that's not true. Leif Ericson landed on Newfoundland around 1000 AD. I wasn't alive yet. But yes, my birth predates the voyages of Columbus."

I shook my head. I should have thought about all this, but I hadn't.

"We can perhaps talk about that another time," she said. "I was addressing your concerns about how I view you. I don't see you as a child, Sidney. I spent much of my life very ignorant, at least by modern standards, and I spent many of my years doing anything but becoming more mature. And then I spent more of my years undoing the damage from my earlier years. I see you as someone who has made far fewer mistakes than I have."

She paused.

"Sidney, I see you as humanity."

I cocked my head. "I don't understand."

"You have an innocence. A softness. Passion. Yes, some of it is naïveté, but it's refreshing. You are a connection to my own shattered humanity. You are a connection to joy and to love." She turned away and walked to the window. She stood there for a while, not talking, then she swore.

"What?"

She turned around, and her fangs were showing. She waved at them.

"You're hungry?"

"No. Emotional. I started thinking about what it would mean to lose you."

She turned back to the window. She stood there for another minute then asked, "Are you tired?"

"Yes, but not too tired to talk."

"I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow, then work on your dreams. But I need to go calm down. If I get too close to you right now I'm going to bite."

I thought about it. "I liked it."

"You need your strength, and it would be a mistake for me to start seeing you as a convenient meal. I need you to tuck yourself into bed. We can talk in the morning."

"You may come back, Solange," I said. "If I'm sleeping, you may wake me. I wish you would. I'd like to talk about tomorrow, too. And I had an idea about the dreams."