Seer: Thrall (14 page)

I chuckled.

"I never want to hear that word from your lips again," she added.

"Neck?"

She growled, but it was playfully.

"So I can't say I have the munchies? I can't say I want some popcorn to munch on? I can't say I want to munch on your-"

"Sidney!"

"-ice cream?"

She shook her head at me.

"I won't call you a neck muncher anymore," I said.

"Good. Thank you."

"Just a neck slurper."

"You're still high."

"No. I'm trying to hang onto it, but it's fading. Damned fresh air. Whose idea was this?"

"Yours."

"Oh. I'm an idiot."

Solange smiled at me, and then we both turned back to the water. "Tell me when you're safe to bring back inside."

"A few more minutes," I said. We watched the water. "There's a wedge between us, Solange."

"I know."

"Will it always be there?"

"I hope not."

I reached over with a hand. A moment later, she took it. We sat there for a minute. "Were you really so high I needed to bring you out here?" she asked.

"No. I wanted to talk to you." I paused and glanced at her. "I want to ask you a personal question, then you can bring me back inside."

"All right."

"When you give me your blood, um... I was just wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Do you like being the slurpee or the slurper more?"

She laughed then climbed to her feet. Stepping behind me, she unlocked the wheels of the chair.

"Hey! That was a serious question."

"It didn't sound like a serious question," she retorted.

"It was a serious question framed with humor, Solange."

"Oh." She paused. "One is necessary for me. Both bring me pleasure."

"Which brings you more pleasure?"

She turned me around and began rolling me to the house, not answering. We got halfway back, and I reached down and locked the wheels, almost getting myself dumped out of the chair.

"What are you doing?"

I looked over my shoulder. "Why won't you answer?"

"I enjoy giving you my blood," she said. "It feels good and builds a bond between us, which I can feel. If you drank from my neck, it is a real rush. But your blood, especially from your neck, is the essence of life, and it tastes amazingly good. How could I say which is better? Now, are you done being foolish?"

"Probably not, but I'll try to behave the rest of the night."

"Seeing is believing," she muttered.

* * * *

Aubree and Dolores were having a good time in the kitchen when we returned; they were laughing about something. It looked like they were just putting the finishing touches on dinner preparations. Solange rolled me in, and they both turned to us.

"Good timing!" Dolores said. "It's just a simple stir fry tonight. We can cook right away, or we can play a hand or three first."

"There's a fresh loaf of artisan bread," Solange said. "And olive oil. We can play a game or two." She locked the wheels of the chair then helped me out of it, gesturing towards my place at the table. I took it without comment.

Dolores took care of the bread, and it was only a minute or two before Aubree was shuffling the deck.

Solange had been right. My concentration was off, and I made a few poor plays. I apologized to Dolores, but she smiled and said, "Don't worry about it." We lost both games, and we should have won at least one of them, perhaps both. Solange called a break, and I was mentally exhausted.

"Dinner will be about twenty minutes," Dolores said.

"Sidney is going to rest on the sofa in the library," Solange declared. "Do you want to walk or be wheeled?"

"I can walk," I said.

She hovered protectively over me, however, and then when I lay down on the sofa, she covered me up.

I closed my eyes. "You were right."

"Of course I was." I heard the smile. "About what?"

"I'm out of it," I said. "I played poorly, and now my head hurts."

She didn't say anything, but again she took my hand. "You're getting stronger."

She pulled up a chair and stayed with me. I dozed until Aubree stepped into the room. I'm sure the noise she made was deliberate.

"Is she going to be able to eat?"

"Yes," I said. "She is."

"I think we'll watch a movie after dinner," Solange said.

"You said that just because you know it's time to rotate, and you were going to get partnered with me," I replied.

"If we play cards, it's for an hour, then you're going to bed for the night. If we watch a movie, you can watch the entire movie and talk for a while afterwards."

"Whatever all of you want," I said.

They voted for the movie. I fell asleep, curled up with Dolores. I woke while the credits were rolling. They were talking quietly. I had slumped down and my head was in her lap. She was stroking my hair slowly.

"I'm sorry," I said. "You all were here to spend the evening with me, and I fell asleep."

"We thought you would," Solange said from her chair.

"We want you to heal and get stronger," Dolores said.

I began to lever myself up. Solange was there immediately to help me, and then I found myself sitting between her and Dolores. Solange turned me to face her and looked into my face.

"I think it's bedtime for you," she declared. "Say goodnight to Aubree and Dolores."

I didn't argue with her. I stood, and immediately Dolores stood with me. I moved into her arms and held her for a long time.

"Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

"Get better," she said. "I'll be by tomorrow."

"You don't have to," she said.

"Unless you don't want me here, I'll be by tomorrow. I'll coordinate with Solange. I won't be here every day, but it's the weekend, and I want to see you, if you're strong enough."

"Thank you," I said again. "I've missed you terribly."

I didn't hug Aubree. We'd shared some affection before, but not since she'd help stuff me away for seven months.

"Do you need help with the stairs?" Solange asked. I shook my head. "All right. I'll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in."

I headed for the door and was barely out of the room when I heard Dolores ask, "Is she going to be okay?"

"In time," Solange replied.

* * * * *

"Look into my eyes, and I'll tell you more about Ada."

* * * *

I opened my eyes. Solange was watching over me. I smiled.

"She was brilliant," I said.

Solange smiled broadly. "What did you see?"

"It was spring," I replied. "She was trying to explain how an analytical machine could do far more than calculate sums. She was brilliant, Solange."

"Yes, she was," Solange said. "I didn't understand what she was talking about. I'm not sure many did."

"Do you think she was a seer? How could she have predicted what we'd do with computers?"

"She may have been, but if so, she never mentioned it to me."

"It worked."

Solange nodded. "Regular sleep now," she said. "We're going to give you a break for a few days and focus on your physical health, but then we're going to see if I can direct you towards current events."

I smiled, and then I looked into her eyes and slept.

I pedaled. Ahead of me, Aubree was on her own bike, setting the pace for me. From behind, Solange watched over me. I was tired, but I wasn't lagging yet.

I glanced reflexively to where my speedometer should be, but it wasn't there. Solange had taken it away so I wouldn't worry about it. I didn't know how fast we were going or how far we'd ridden. I could guess. It was a slow pace for the terrain. I guessed about 8 or 9 miles an hour on a flat trail, and we'd been out for an hour. I had no clue where we were. I just followed Aubree.

I'd seen the little ear headset they both wore. They were able to talk while we rode. This was a laughable pace for a vampire, but they both seemed to enjoy our rides, and it was their own fault I needed baby sitting. If they were bored, too bad. But they could talk, and I was sure Solange was telling Aubree what pace to set.

We'd been riding for my afternoon PT for a couple of weeks. At first, they had picked trails that were gently downhill. Now the trails were gentle, with some hills, but nothing I couldn't handle. I was up to two-hour rides and getting stronger every day.

It was the end of June.

Millie had told me a lot of my progress was due to Solange's blood, but a lot was from my own determination. I was only seeing Millie once a day now, every morning after breakfast. She worked me hard, usually on strength training, then made sure I ate something and tucked me into bed for a nap. Solange was driving me in the afternoon, and she was merciless.

Just the way I wanted her to be.

I glanced over my shoulder at Solange. She looked comfortable on her bike. She looked good on her bike. In response, she pulled up next to me on the trail.

"Rest break," she declared.

I didn't need one, but I had stopped arguing with any of her decisions. Aubree heard the same time as I did, so we call came to a gentle stop together, pulling off on the side of the trail to leave it clear for anyone else.

I was sweating like a pig and panting; they were both calm and relaxed.

"Damned slurpers," I muttered, reaching for my water. "You could pretend to get tired."

"I thought you didn't want any lies between us," Solange said with a grin. She handed me an energy bar. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," I said. "I want my speedometer back."

She smiled. "If you have it in you, we're riding another hour. Then I'll give it back."

"Why not give it back now?"

"Then you're going to take lead, and you're going to set the fastest three-mile pace you can maintain. You will not extend yourself to the point of being dangerous, and if you need to stop early, then stop."

I didn't think it would be much faster than we'd been riding, but I'd try it.

A few minutes later, I was following along behind Aubree again.

By the next stop, I was tired, but not dead tired. We'd left the trail and pulled onto a country rode with a wide, paved shoulder and very gently rolling hills. I climbed from the bike and caught my breath while finishing the last of my sports bottle of water. Aubree had another for me, and she traded. I took a big slurp before replacing it within easy reach on the bike.

The speedometer for my bike was detachable -- it clipped off easily. Solange replaced it and made sure it was working.

"Do not over do it," she said.

"What if I poop out?"

"Thomas is ahead, waiting for us. He'll pick us up."

I nodded and climbed back on my bike. I didn't bother waiting for them; they could catch up.

I set an easy pace, eight miles an hour. Then I kicked it up one gear, then one more. I heard Solange and Aubree behind me, but I didn't worry about them.

Modern road bikes typically have twenty-seven gear combinations. There were three gears on the front, driven by the pedals, and nine on the back. I was pedaling on the middle front gear, and each shift on the back was worth about a mile and a half per hour. I was up to about eleven and a half miles per hour, still a slow pace for me, but I felt good. I hit a small uphill, downshifted partway up, but came up over the top still holding eight. Normally, I'd have easily peaked that hill at twelve, but still, I felt good about it.

I kicked it up for the downhill and rolled into the next uphill at eighteen. I hit the top still going ten, and was an easy twenty-two at the bottom of the hill. I actually didn't like going much over thirty even when I felt really good. You never know when you're going to hit a bad patch of gravel, and I didn't like falling, especially when going fast. Twenty-two at the bottoms of the hill felt really good.

So after that, it was up and down the small rollers, a perfect road for biking. The pavement was new and smooth, and the bike sailed along the blacktop.

I gave a whoop of joy, echoed by two voices behind me.

Ahead I saw the SUV, and as we grew closer, I saw Thomas leaning against the back, watching us.

"Keep going until you're done, Sidney!" Solange yelled ahead to me. "He'll follow us.

The vehicle was pulled well off the road on a straight, flat section. Ahead was a long, uphill curve, but for now, I was pedaling strong. I flashed past Thomas at sixteen, still carrying a little speed from the last hill, but holding the speed.

"Looking good, Ms. Welsh!" Thomas yelled.

I made it another fifteen minutes, although I began slowing down. Then I felt my blood sugar dropping, and I knew I was done. I came over one last roller and saw a long, flat stretch in front of me. I pedaled gently down the hill and then slowed more and more over the course of another mile, letting my muscles cool down so they didn't seize. Finally I came to a stop. A moment later, Aubree took my bike from me, and Solange had me in the grass at the side of the road, helping me stretch out.

"How far?"

"Twenty-two miles."

"Really?"

She nodded. "Good job, Sidney."

I beamed at her.

* * * *

Two weeks later, instead of a bike ride in poor weather, I swam in the pool. Aubree swam with me. Finally, I climbed out. Solange was waiting with a towel and a robe, and I saw Millie was also there. She was smiling.

"We're going to talk to you," Solange said. "Come on."

They let me settle in and catch my breath. Finally Solange said, "So. We're going to talk to you. I am making this your decision, but you'll listen to what we have to say."

"All right."

"You have come a long way," Millie said. "How far was your ride yesterday?"

"Twenty-eight miles." I beamed. "It's not sixty, but even when I was riding daily, twenty-eight was a good distance, much further than I might ride most days."

"You're not back to your old strength," Solange said. "That's going to take time."

"If it weren't for the vampire blood," Millie added, "I don't know if you'd ever get all the way back. If you continue to take the blood, you'll surpass your old strength by fall."

I turned to Solange. "You could make a mint as a personal trainer to the rich."

She smiled, but didn't laugh.

"But Sidney, you're also addicted."

"I know. Is that a problem?"

"Not entirely," Solange said. "Not by itself. But it's made you very complacent. You haven't argued with me about anything in weeks. Even before, we argued."

"I would think you'd be happy about that."

"While it does take some stress away, I know it's not you," she said. "But by itself, that isn't a problem, either." She paused. "But if you wanted to go back to your old job, it's a problem."

"My old job?"

"You don't have to. Sidney, you can live here like this if you want. Forever, if you want."

"Kept?"

"You would pay your way with your dreams. Don't think of it as being kept."

"I haven't been giving you useful dreams."

She smiled. "Yet. Don't worry about that. Another choice would be to go back to a pure programming position. You won't make the kind of money you used to make, and you aren't ready to work full time, but it's another choice."

I looked between them. "There's more you need to tell me."

"Sidney," said Millie, "you don't need me anymore."

Before I could react, Solange clarified, "You will have her help as long as you want it, but you don't
need
her help anymore."

Millie continued, "You're healthy. We're working you hard, and we're encouraging you to nap a lot. But if you began to relax and returned to your old habits, you would slowly continue to improve."

"And have time to go back to work," Solange added. "Not full time, not right away."

They let me think about that for a while. "Is there more?"

"The blood addiction," Solange said. "Do you want to break it?"

"Is this about not seeing Millie anymore, about going back to work, or about the blood addiction?"

"All of them," Solange replied. "They're all related. If you want to go back to your old job, then we need to break the blood addiction entirely. It will take a while to do so, and you'll always crave it. You could be working part time in a few weeks and full time by autumn."

"But your rate of improvement will drop," Millie said. "I do not believe you will ride the Ironman next year if you make this choice."

"To be clear, I will not allow you to return to your old job while so deeply addicted," Sidney said. "I will allow you to program, but what you used to do was so much more."

I looked back and forth between them several times, then I turned my head and looked at the swimming pool instead. Aubree had disappeared; I hadn't noticed her leave.

"You might surprise me," Millie said. "I won't rule it out."

"Is this what we're doing?" I asked quietly.

"We're here to decide what we're doing," Solange said. "Do you understand the implications?"

"What are my choices?"

"Continue as we have, and we'll have this conversation again periodically," Millie said.

"If you do," Solange added, "You won't be back to your old job this year, but it's not a permanent decision. You could be consulting by the end of winter."

I nodded understanding. "Or..."

"Relax the physical therapy and start doing a little programming. I can readily find you part time work at a good bill rate. Program in the morning, exercise in the afternoon."

"With you?"

"Yes. Or Millie. We might alternate."

"Or..."

"Began breaking your addiction. Take some of those programming jobs until you're ready for more responsibility. You could be programming by next week, and doing your old job full time by Thanksgiving, if not sooner."

"Is there a middle ground?" I asked. "Cut back on the blood?"

"That would be a choice," Solange said, "but in that case, I wouldn't let you work for anyone who didn't know the entire situation. Which means you'd be working for me and only me."

"And programming."

"Under my oversight."

"I don't understand. Why can't I just start working? Is my judgment flawed?"

"You're mental capacity hasn't fully returned," Solange said. "But that's largely because we're driving you so hard physically, you don't have any energy left to think. But your emotional judgment is flawed. You would let people push you around. You couldn't do what you did for me at Green Gulch. You might have the intellectual ability, if we weren't driving you so hard, but you just wouldn't think that way. Both the blood and the addiction to the blood make you complacent." She paused. "And when you're not getting the blood, you're going to be difficult. Your moods will be all over the place again, and your clients would see it. You would alienate all your clients."

After that, they let me think about it. Finally I said, "I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to decide today," Solange said. She lowered her voice and spoke more slowly. "Or you can leave it to me to decide."

I'd been looking at my hands, but I looked up after hearing her tone. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

"I don't know," she said. "Intellectually, the right choice is to help you get back to your old job. Emotionally, I don't want to."

"You want me to stay addicted?"

"Emotionally, yes."

"Why?"

"Understand, it's an emotional response," she explained, "although there's some logic to it as well."

"All right," I said slowly.

"I have enjoyed our time together this summer. I would like it to continue." I thought that was fair. I had enjoyed it, too. "And I do feel guilty that you've had to work so hard. It was my fault. I don't think you're done, and I don't think you're satisfied. I want you to be satisfied. We've acknowledged the wedge between us, and I think that wedge will remain until you feel you're doing at least as well as you were last summer."

I thought those were good reasons.

"We're getting along," she said.

"Yes. But I think you liked my old fire."