Seduced by Sin: Sean (Rugged Riders #3) (9 page)

“What do you care?” I asked, snatching my bags back from him.

“Operator, operator. May I help you?” We could hear the operator’s voice through the speakers on my phone.

Sean grabbed the phone out of my hands and spoke to the person on the other end. “We’re sorry. We dialed the wrong number.”

“I want to go home.”

“Well, I’ll take you home.

“Right now, please! At least, once you take me home, you can call Jessica so you can go fuck her. That’s what you want to do, don’t you?” I turned and pointed to her BMW as she peeled off from down the street. “Look, she’s leaving! You’d better go catch her. I’m pretty sure you’d rather fuck her than me tonight, right?”

“Karlina, you’re drunk, stop saying that.”

“I’m drunk. Yes, I’m fucking drunk, but I’m not a fucking idiot! You humiliated me!” I screamed at him, not caring who I woke up in the process.

“I’m sorry. Come inside, Karlina. We need to talk right now about this.”

“You’ve had plenty of time to talk, Sean. When I asked you about her the first time I met her, you had no intentions of telling me you were fucking her and me at the same time. Did you?”

“That’s not true! I was not fucking you both at the same time. We went on a couple dates and that was a year before I met you. It wasn’t even dating. I only fucked her a couple times. I signed a contract with her and her agency. There are penalties for canceling.”

“Only? Only a couple of times! Well, that makes it all better, doesn’t it?
Take me home.
”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. His garage door opened automatically, and he led me toward his Rover. He opened the door for me and I got in. Before he started up the engine, he pleaded with me again.

“Look, Jessica showed up tonight, telling me that I needed to get everything done because she was going to be out of town for the next two weeks. This home needs to be on the market, so I agreed to do it. The contract we have doesn’t allow me to seek another listing agent on this particular project. I know what it looked like to you, but there is absolutely nothing going on between her and me.”

“The thing that makes me so mad is how you sat there and pretended that you and she never had a relationship. When I sensed that she had feelings for you, you shrugged it off like you had no idea. You misled me, Sean. I asked you, then, and you failed to tell me the truth.”

“Honestly, I didn’t plan to have her assist me any longer, and I never planned for you to meet her. She helped me through a tough time when her friend, Angel, died in the car crash.”

“Angel, your ex? The one who cheated on you? You fucked your ex-girlfriend’s friend?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, looking straight forward, eyes fixed intently on the road.

I sighed.

He turned completely in the car. “Jessica was the one who first told me about the cheating.”

I swallowed painfully. “Take me home.”

He started the engine. “Karlina, some things I don’t want to remember. And I don’t like talking about them.”

“You had your one chance to tell me. I’m really done with you.”

“Karlina—”

“If you don’t pull out of this garage right now, I’ll call my cab, and this time, you won’t stop me.”

With that, he backed out of the garage. For the entire drive to my condo, we didn’t say anything. When we arrived in the parking garage, he parked the Rover and I immediately jumped out of the door, almost falling to the pavement. I hurried towards the elevator, but he was fast on my heels. He jumped in the elevator with me.

“Karlina, listen to me…” He reached out for my hands.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Karlina, I don’t want to fight with you. I can’t lose you, Karlina. I just can’t,” he begged.

“Save it. I’m sorry. It’s over.”

We got out of the elevator and walked down the hallway to my condo. “What do you mean it’s over? We can’t call it quits over nothing.”

“Over nothing? You’re serious, aren’t you?” I turned to look at him as I stood in the doorway of my condo.

“This is nothing. Karlina, I love you. I don’t love Jessica. I don’t want her, I want you.”

“Sean, it’s too late…” The tears were streaming down my face. “I can’t do this anymore. If you were just going to use me, I wouldn’t have done this.”

He reached out and touched the side of my face. “Karlina, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry you had to find out that way. But, you and I both know that there was no relationship between Jessica and me. She blew the whole thing out of proportion.”

“Answer this, Sean. You say you didn’t have sex with her while you and I were having sex but were you still intimate with her, even casually? Did you do anything to make her feel as if you still wanted her?”

He sighed. “One thing you don’t know about Jessica is that she is a very emotional person. She was having a hard time with her bills, and yes, I helped her. When we broke things off, I met you after that. After she found out about you, she told me about her feelings for me. She helped me in the past. I care about Jessica as a person and I didn’t want to see her hurt…”

“You’re not answering my question. Did you give her reason to believe you still wanted her?”

“Right before I met you at the coffee shop.”

“You had sex?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She kissed me.”

“And you let her…”

He looked down at his shoes.

“Well, Sean, there’s your answer. Your old fuck buddy has reason to believe you still want her. You should go be with someone who is batshit crazy for you like your real estate agent.”

I turned around and opened the door to my condo and walked in. When I looked up at Sean again, he looked so pitiful.

“The times we had together were nice. I hope you make amends with Jessica. It looks like she’s wanted you all along.”

Before he could open his mouth, I closed the door. On the other side, I immediately slid down to the floor, sobbing quietly. About a minute later, I heard the sounds of Sean’s footsteps recede down the hallway back towards the elevators. I got up and tried to pull myself together. I couldn’t let this bring me down.

Karlina, you knew before you started that this would happen
. All of a sudden, I had what felt like a massive migraine. I took off my heels and earrings and curled up in a fetal position on my sofa and fell asleep.

T
wo weeks later
…

I
did
everything in my power to keep busy to prevent myself from stopping to think about what had happened between Sean and me two weekends ago. I didn’t need to make much of an effort to find work to do. I had already suggested two projects to my boss that would help them gain new clients within the next two years. So, for the next couple of months, I had several projects to work on. My boss, Jeffrey, had even told me that I was free to work at home some days if I wanted to. I would take him up on that offer soon, but right now, I wasn’t mentally ready and focused enough to work independently from home. So, I told Jeffrey I was in the process of moving out of my condo and that my living arrangements weren’t conducive to working from home.

After that Saturday night, I hadn’t called anyone. I hadn’t called my parents and I hadn’t called Tasha. On Sunday, I had gone grocery shopping, then came home and ate hot dogs and French fries for dinner and two bowls of chocolate ice cream for dessert. That was so unlike me. But nothing in me wanted to do any better. It had been a long time since I was so down and out. I could pretend that Sean didn’t matter to me all I wanted, but I knew deep down inside that I was only kidding myself. But, I wasn’t going to stand for it. It could have been so different had he told me from the beginning what had gone on or what was going on between him and Jessica. I shook my head quickly and began to open up my emails for the day. After I had replied to the messages from other people within the department, I began calling some clients about changes they wanted to make to their agreements.

“Karlina?”

I looked up suddenly and a lady from the mailroom was standing in my doorway with a massive vase of roses. The arrangement was huge and so elaborately decorated that I could barely see her face. “These were just delivered for you.”

I didn’t need to think too hard to know that the roses were from Sean. He obviously wasn’t going to give up so easily on me. But, the fact of the matter was, I didn’t care. I had already given up on him.

The lady brought the arrangement and set it on my desk. “These are sooo beautiful,” she said. “From a boyfriend, I take it?” she questioned.

“Maybe, I guess, I’ll find out.” I smiled.

When the lady left, I waited a couple of minutes before picking up the sealed card sticking out of the vase. My name was written on the front. I opened the envelope with my letter opener.

I
’m sorry
, Karlina. Please accept my apology. I love you with all my heart. I don’t want to lose you. Love, Sean.

I
slowly leaned
over and placed the envelope, then the card through the shredder under my desk. Sean had called me at least four times since that Saturday and had left two voice messages. I screened every call that came through my phone and deleted every message that he left without even listening to them. He’d had his chance to tell me what he needed to a long time ago.

L
ater that evening
, as I pulled up in my car at the gym, I decided that I would do weight training today and skip my group circuit class. I wasn’t really in the mood to chat and laugh with any of the women that came to training on a regular basis. I would be left alone in the weight training room. Most of the time, there were men in that area, but they kept to themselves pretty well and they didn’t bother me either.

I walked in the locker room and changed into my jogging shorts and shirt and placed the earphones from the iPod that I kept in my gym bag in my ears. I left my cell phone in my gym bag in the locker and headed toward the weight room. Before long, I had forgotten about my current problems and the stress seemed to melt away. When I was done with my weights, I took a quick shower and changed into black leggings and a tank top. On my way to the door, I spotted Jonathan standing around, talking to two females near the basketball court. It didn’t surprise me that he would be here on a Monday night since he knew that I regularly came on Mondays. He spotted me, said something to both females, and started walking towards me.

“Hi.” I smiled.

“Hey, I can’t believe how you left me hangin’ at that club the other night.”

“I was there with some friends of mine. Did you want me to ditch them for you?”

“Exactly…Don’t you think I’m good enough for you?”

“You look all right,” I teased.

“Just all right, huh?”

“Yeah, you’re cute.” Yes, he was. But Jonathan reminded me too often of the men that I’d dated previously who only wanted one thing and one thing only. Sex. But at least, he admitted it.

“Listen, I know you said you were dating someone and all, but I wanted to invite you to a business convention this weekend. Basically, it’s for business owners and fitness gurus like you and me.”

“Well…”

“No strings attached, I promise. You can come with me or you can go alone. I just wanted to invite you.”

“Is it an all-day event?”

“Kind of, but we can go that afternoon and leave early if you want.”

“Okay. No strings attached. I will go as your friend.”

Jonathan looked surprised. “Okay. Can you meet me here at eleven? At the gym?”

“Sure.”

He walked me out to my car.

I grabbed my keys from my bag and then turned to face him. “Jonathan, let’s cut to the chase, do you want to fuck me?”

Jonathan’s eyebrows raised in surprise as if he were taken aback by my question.

“Oh! That was sudden.”

“I’m just trying to get the fucking truth from the beginning. I’m completely tired of bullshit and of men catching feelings, but all they seem to be is confused.”

“Sounds like you had issues, yo. And yeah, I’m sexually attracted to you. But you are a beautiful woman. You do know that, right?”

“Let’s be friends, Jonathan. Just friends first, okay?”

“I’m okay with that, Karlina. I’m okay with being friends right now.”

“See you Saturday.”

I
t was
Thursday evening when I received a call on my cell phone from Sean. He was calling me at least once every day and I hadn’t been answering any of his calls. When was he going to get it? This time, I picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Karlina, this is Sean.”

“I know.”

“So, you’re screening my calls now?”

“Why should I pick up the phone for you?”

“What can I do to make it right again between us?”

“Sean, it’s not that simple. You had your chance to make it right and time after time, week after week, you chose to mislead me. I just wonder why you would try to hide something like that from me if you weren’t doing anything wrong in the first place.”

“You’re right. I should have told you from the beginning. I just didn’t think it was relevant, and I knew that she would be out of my life soon. I made a mistake with her by committing to her for all the wrong reasons. That was the second time I’ve made a mistake like that, and I’ve already told you about the first time that I’ve been wrong about a woman.”

“You mean Angel?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“You still had feelings for your real estate agent while you were dating me. I was never the only one. It took me threatening to leave for you to realize you couldn’t keep both of us in your back pocket.”

“That’s not true. You are the only one that I love. It’s just that it was so hard for me to tell a woman to back off, especially one that helped me in the past. It’s always been the other way around, you know, women telling me to back off. Now, don’t get me wrong, I cared about Jessica, but I wasn’t in love with her. When I met you, I knew you were something special.”

“I’m sorry, Sean. We’re not going to just pick up where we left off. The pain you caused me that night is still there. I told you that I’ve been hurt before. You don’t understand how hard it is to... Please, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Can I come see you? Maybe you will change your mind. I can’t convince you over the phone, Karlina. I need to see you.”

“No, definitely not tonight. I had a long day at the office and I was just getting ready for bed.”

“Tomorrow or Saturday, maybe?”

“I have a hair appointment tomorrow after work and on Saturday I have some other business to take care of.”

“Are you making excuses?”

“No, those aren’t excuses. But I don’t know why you want to see me. I’ve told you that it’s over.”

“It’s over, huh? Do you tell yourself that every night so that you can believe it?” he asked.

“Sean, I don’t want a relationship anymore. Not with you and not with anyone else. You would be better off with someone who shares that interest with you. Someone batshit crazy—”

“Okay. Well, let’s start over. We don’t have to pick up where we left off. I want to be with you and I’ll be with you any way you allow me to.”

When I didn’t say anything in response, he went on. “I have two offers on the Ridgeview Road property. I expect to negotiate a sale by this weekend. Maybe we can celebrate with our profit next week.”

“Sean, I told you that I don’t want your money.”

He sighed heavily into the phone. “Why are you so stubborn?”

“Look, Sean, I have to go. My parents are expecting my call tonight and it’s getting really late.”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

When I got off the phone with him, I took a very hot shower and went to bed.