Secret Shopper (13 page)

“Yeah,” I said, saddened by the idea, “friends for sure. After talking to you for the past three hours, not that I was counting, you’ve propelled yourself from potential psycho stalker stranger to friend.” His gentle laugh made me warm all over.

“So,
Phoenix, it was nice to meet you, again and again.”

“Goodnight, friend.” I added, the beep of the low battery signal threatening to blow up our conversation.

“Goodnight friend—friend for now that is,” Thomas almost whispered as the call was dropped. I looked at my Blackberry which drifted off to sleep. Thomas was out there in the next kingdom hopefully not waiting for a response. His voice replayed in my mind,
friend for now
.

Ch
apter 7

Hello, Kitty!

I don’t know how I was able to sleep from last night’s marathon talk session with Thomas, but I woke up energized. Thomas’s call cracked something in me in a good way. I somehow felt powerful, knowing that someone as beautiful and intelligent as Thomas wanted me, emotional baggage included. I knew I could call him and he would reoffer the lunch date, but I didn’t want to rush into this thing secret shopping created. Well, really what Bradley created.

I had a Saturday to do as I pleased. Rachel sparked an adventurous side in me and I hopped on the computer after breakfast to see what fairs or museums or concerts I could crash. The day was mine, Phoenix on a date with Phoenix, and I was excited.

I was forlorn at the thought of passing up a lunch date with Thomas, but I had to stick to my guns on waiting. I jotted down the address to a Halloween costume store, when the door bell rang downstairs. I was dressed in a Hello Kitty tank top with matching shorts, and threw on my robe, my modesty gene still strong in me.

Through the peephole, I saw the largest Hello Kitty in the world! There was a FedEx truck in the background and I opened the door bouncing up and down at the surprise visitor. I didn’t realize my robe tie came undone. Before me, the young guy did not look too pleased about delivering this monstrous pussy cat to my door, but when he saw me, he smiled. I smiled back. Brandon, as his nametag read, offered to walk the plush toy into my home. I swiftly tied my robe and told him I could handle it. He had me sign for the gift. I figured Rachel had it delivered as an apology for the Thomas phone number scandal, but I was really happy she did me that service now. Who else could afford this most coveted item? 

My Hello Kitty obsession never included the pricey pieces like this two hundred dollar buddy I just snagged. I was quite content with the toys I got from the candy dispenser like gadgets planted by the exits at every Asian supermarket.

Fed Ex Brandon stood at my door after I signed, lingering.
Was I supposed to tip him?
I wondered. His smile didn’t flicker, so I decided to ask him if he knew who sent the item. He looked at his tablet and said the strangest thing.

“My docs says it’s from,
uh
, Robert Pattinson.” He looked up at me eyebrows raised to high heaven. He scanned me head to toe like he was deciding if I was hot enough for Mr. Pattinson to be sending me stuffed animals. Sure an item like this would be chump

change to a successful celebrity like that. From the smile on Fed Ex guy’s face, he seemed satisfied that I would pass. I convinced him that it was just my husband playing a practical joke. At the mention of a husband,
Brandon’s eyes automatically looked at my left hand. I quickly pocketed it.

After a few awkward moments,
Brandon pointed to an envelope attached to Hello Kitty’s bow, the entire stuffed animal wrapped in a thin plastic wrap.

Thankfully, I saw
Frances pruning bushes.

“Hi,
Frances!” I called over Brandon’s shoulder. He finally got the hint and left my doorstep. I locked my door and secured the deadbolt. I made sure Brandon left and ripped open the plastic with fervor.

“Thank you, Rachel!” I said into the air, hoping she would feel good vibes from me on
Guam.

I looked at the beautiful script on a plain white index card. It was not my best friend’s.

I haven’t enjoyed conversation like that which I shared with you
. You made me smile and laugh genuinely. You are truly my new, beautiful--FRIEND. I look forward to more correspondence with you. T.P.R.

Thomas. P. Roberts. Oh my God! I removed the rest of the plastic of this pristine and wondrous representation of my love for Hello Kitty. Thomas was a receptive man. I loved this gift. It was a bold statement of his friendly feelings for me. How I would explain this to Bradley? Did I have to explain it to him? Was it bad for me to have a “friend?” I was truthful to Thomas, but I decided to keep mum about this with Bradley.

I brought my new buddy to the office and found her a comfy spot on my reading chair. As she looked at me with her adorable face, sure she was just a compilation of textiles, with plastic eyes placed in such a spot that it would evoke
oohs
and
aahs,
I decided to thank Thomas. I did not want to call him, but chose to write him a heartfelt e-mail. I reread Thomas’s card again and placed it in my wallet.

I kissed the giant cat before I headed out to a pumpkin patch. I needed time to think about my Halloween outfit.

I typically didn’t costume up, at least not in my teen and adult years for Halloween. The last time
was a college party at Rachel’s. I wore Pharaoh’s old baseball uniform and put on a pair of plastic fangs. The image in retrospect was reminiscent of the beloved thunderstorm baseball scene in Twilight and I smiled at the connection.

I finally found a costume that would be worth paying the fifty dollars for at the third Halloween costume shop I visited. It was an uncomfortably sexy mermaid outfit. A flash of my nightmarish prom dress appeared in my head. Maybe this get up would help me redeem that night so many years ago. My dress was very revealing and without the shimmery tail fins could pass for a belly dancer number. That sealed the deal for me. I had to admit that I had a bit of a girl crush on Bella Donna. I made plans to return to her class, perhaps after my divorce was finalized and my cash flow recovered.

I grabbed a large size out of habit and brought i
t to the cashier. Two young men stopped what they were doing and watched me intently. I was still not comfortable with the attention I received from the opposite sex. Maybe I needed to pare down my look like Thomas’s sister did. I wondered if there was a pair of bottle cap glasses here I could purchase, and my eyes darted around the display of cheap props. Before I could do an about face, the smaller kid of the duo called out to offer his assistance.

“Ma’am?” I imagined hopping over the counter a pile driving the poor lad. Maybe I needed to get over being called ma’am.

“I can help you here!” He yelped enthusiastically. I brought the outfit to Shawn—as his name tag indicated. He asked if I found everything I needed. He looked at the sexy model on the label and I blushed. I hoped he wasn’t imagining me in it. Shawn touched the bright orange circle sticker with a bold letter L, and then scanned me up and down.

“Is this costume for you ma’am?” I flinched.

“Yes.”

“Ma’am, you’re definitely not a large. I suggest you get the medium or small even, depending on the f-f-fit you like. You can try it on if you want.” I glanced at the other associate-name tag-Norm. He looked like he was trying to shoot Shawn laser beams from his eyes. Over Shawn’s head was a large sign that read,
Packaged Costumes Cannot Be Opened.

I pointed at the sign, but Shawn quickly reassured me that he would approve the fitting. I did want to see it on me and if this kid was willing to let me try it, I was game. I couldn’t see wasting money on something I might not like. He pointed to the single dressing room, which probably saw very little use. He walked a few steps behind me. Why was he following me? I looked back at him. Shawn had his arm outstretched with a size medium and small. I grabbed the medium and nodded. He chuckled nervously and redirected his attention to assist a bone-weary mom and her four demanding children.

I locked the door behind me and smiled into the mirror and waved. I did a quick two-way mirror test with my finger. I also looked above at a dusty vent. The general filth told me that there probably wasn’t a hidden camera up there. I smiled at it nonetheless.
Suspicious minds
.

I
slipped into the medium outfit easily. I guess I passed as a mermaid. The fish tail was shimmery with jade and cerulean scales. The feathery chiffon fins floated beautifully as if I was really under the sea. The halter top was a tad bit sexier than I was used to, but Rachel unleashed the more confident me and I was actually happy with what I saw. My breasts seemed cartoonishly voluminous, but were covered well under golden clam shells. My abdomen was curvy, with a hint of muscle definition. I typically dreaded looking at my body in store dressing rooms, but I turned around slowly to catch a view of my back. It was lean and streamlined much to my pleasure. No more camel humps! I took a few minutes to admire it. I did some belly dancing shimmies and smiled as I mentally compared my body to Bella Donna’s. Maybe I had a career on the horizon as a Chamorrita belly dancer. Elated, I carefully undressed and repacked the costume. Just then, my Blackberry rang. It was Thomas, his name in all caps on my ID screen. Like our first call together, I was standing in the buff. I would have to tell him about these funny coincidences someday, maybe.

“Hi, friendly neighborhood stalker.” I joked.

Thomas’s laugh bubbled out of the phone and filled the dressing room. I pulled on my pants and fastened my bra quickly. After buttoning my jeans, I sat to give what felt like confession.

“Hi,
Phoenix. How’s your day going?”

“Great! Got some things accomplished. That’s always good right?”

“I agree,” Thomas said cheerfully. “I got some things done too. Been feeling pretty inspired since talking to you last night, so I just had to call.” I felt the same way, but didn’t want to divulge that to him just yet. Keep mysterious.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Just started some writing again. I’m doing a screenplay.”
Impressive.
He didn’t mention that the night before. I didn’t want to ask him what it was about. I left that to him to share with me.

He explained that his sister wrote the screenplay for
My Dad’s Gift
about five years ago. It was a small production with rave reviews at the Sundance festival. He said I should Google it when I had the chance. He joked that he could get me a signed copy if I wanted one. Thomas explained that it was based on their father and it was Tamara’s way of dealing with his death. She received some money, but nothing to retire with. She used the money as an investment in her shop. I was in awe to say the least. I never knew anyone who wrote screenplays, now I knew two.

“So, did you happen to have a visitor this morning?” Thomas inquired. For a second, I wondered if he was talking about PMS. I was bloated. I almost forgot about my Hello Kitty doll, well, not really. I was just distracted.

“Oh, you mean Brandon, the Fed Ex guy? Yeah, he was great. Wanted to come into my condo and everything. Is it customary to tip the Fed Ex delivery person?” I joked.

“Oh, man. Was he scary? I’m sorry. I specifically asked for a frailest person to deliver the massive Hello Kitty doll to your doorstep.” Thomas countered.

“It was beautiful. The best thing in my humble HK collection so far. Thank you, Thomas.” I enjoyed saying his name. “Or, should I call you Rob?”

“You’re welcome, friend. Thomas will do. I like how it sounds coming from you.” There was an awkward pause. “What are you up to now? Now that it’s past lunch and you could have been sitting at the library with me.” I loved libraries.

“You won’t believe me if I told you.” I paused. “I’m sitting in a dressing room at Halloween Depot trying on a costume.” I wasn’t about to disclose what I was going to be this Halloween. I had no intentions of meeting up with Thomas. Bradley would be in town and I had the divorce to worry about. The safe distance of a phone conversation and e-mails offered were fine for now. It was respectable in my eyes.

“Cool, so what did you decide on? Nothing naughty I hope.”

“I can be naughty if I want to,” I teased. “I decided on the banana suit, but Spongebob Squarepants is really calling to me. Feeling the yellow this year.”

Thomas’s laughter sent shockwaves down my spine. He asked about my Halloween plans and I freely explained that I had a company party to attend. It wasn’t anything major since The Lure Company had ten employees in the office and about twenty five part-time and full-time Field Agents. I was glad Thomas didn’t ask where our party would be. I didn’t want him to see me half naked, and I adjusted my boobs at the thought.

Thomas said that the Bag It crew was currently planning their party. They did have to work on Halloween, but would be closed by eight. Then I heard a gentle rapping on the dressing room door. It must have been Shawn. I hoped he wasn’t eavesdropping.