Secret Shopper (17 page)

Three days into my stay at my uncle’s, I searched for a place of my own. As much as I liked
Pacific Beach, I didn’t want to run into Chazzer or other beach boys like him. I yearned for a nice, quiet community perhaps with a lot of seniors. Eventually, I decided to base my decision on the quality of the library. By the afternoon, I narrowed my choices to Bonita or La Mesa. I continued my hunt for small studio apartments. I didn’t want a condo or an entire house. Luckily for me, it was a buyer’s and renter’s market. I knew Bradley would be at work so I stopped off at the condo to refresh my supply of shoes and clothes.

There lay a sloppy stack of mail on the kitchen counter. Bradley hadn’t washed the dishes it seemed like since I left and there was a funk in the air that I didn’t recognize. I grabbed the mail and headed for my office where I found two open letters on my desk. My Hello Kitty doll looked at me, but she wasn’t a reliable witness. The corresponding envelopes had the beautifully written script from Thomas. The envelope for one of the letters was with it, but one envelope was missing. I panicked and thought that maybe Bradley read these letters, words intended for me. I channeled Sherlock Holmes and collected my mail. Thomas was in danger. Bradley wasn’t expecting me to return to see this. A jolt of fear gripped me.

Who would I call first? Thomas to see if he was still alive or Bradley to stop him from doing anything stupid? I grabbed my Blackberry and dialed.

“Thomas?!” I squealed.

“Hi, Phoenix. This is unexpected. A real phone call and not just an e-mail or text from my dear old friend.” He sounded unharmed so I relaxed.

“Where are you?” 

“At work, on a break, why? Everything okay?”

I explained the jealous carnage I discovered and how I was worried for his safety. Bradley was a trained soldier now. He never really had a history of violence, but he was a different beast. I begged Thomas not to go home until we saw each other. I knew I had to protect my new friend from my own husband. What a screwed up notion. Thomas didn’t deserve this.

“So, you read my letters?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course not. I mean I want to. I will. I’m worried about your well being, Thomas.” I hoped Bradley’s years of not ever being jealous in our relationship didn’t equate to him being as crazy as a nuclear bomb now.

“Why are you so calm?” I asked finally.

“I’ve been through worse. This is nothing. Please read the letters and call me later, if you want, of course.” 

I smoothed out Thomas’s letters and folded them neatly with the one envelope. I decided to savor them later and made it my mission to search for Bradley now. He wasn’t at the office and his cell phone was off. I guess now was a good time as any to see Thomas’s place since he would be at work for another couple of hours. I promised to call him back when I located Bradley. I didn’t understand how Thomas could be as cool as a cucumber during all this. He really didn’t know the potential danger he was in by crossing a Chamorro man. Jealousy is a strong trait in most.

I drove up to Thomas’s condo. It was a newer development and must have cost almost a hundred grand more than mine. Mine, not ours, the idea settled around me. Thomas said he was still rooming with his Chamorro college friend, who attended USD. His name was Tano Dela Cruz. Dela Cruz was a distant relation on Bradley’s side, but I never met him or heard of him.
Tano
in Chamorro meant jungle. I had a feeling things were about to get wild.

I saw Bradley’s Lexus parked along the street. Number 513 was indistinguishable from the other condos except for the wooden sign that read, “This is a Chamorro home, please remove your shoes
, fan
.”

I knocked. I heard thundering footsteps and a deep, Chamorro accented voice called out. “Yeah, hold on!” Tano opened the door and the familiar smell of barbecue waft
ed out from behind him. Tano was attractive. He had short hair and caramel colored skin. Tano was a massive islander, with the Fokai tank, board shorts, and tribal tats. He smiled widely. Maybe he thought I was a
haole
. My sunglasses were on and nothing on my persons declared I was from Guam.

“Well, hello there. Can I help you?” His Chamorro accent was notably muted. Yep, he thought I was a white girl. His elevator eyes seemed to appreciate what he saw. He lifted his arm and placed his elbow on the door jamb giving me the full view of his hairy armpit. It was perhaps a
pose he used to impress unsuspecting San Diego sorority girls, but I was immune to his native charms. As he did this, I peered around him and saw Bradley’s disgusting profile. The fool, seated at Thomas and Tano’s dining table was eating.
The coconuts on this man!

“
Hafa adai
, Tano. I’m Phoenix. I’m here to check on my ex-husband, Bradley.” I pointed to Bradley with a nod of my head as I removed my shades. Tano’s demeanor shifted and he relaxed, looking like my little brother for a second. He looked over his large brown shoulder at Bradley and then back at me. He seemed uncertain about how to proceed.

“Oh, hi.” The reality of who I was dawned on jungle boy. He whispered, “Thomas’s friend, right?” I nodded and smiled. “Well, you’ll never guess, but good old Brad back there is my third cousin.” 

“I guess that explains why he’s raided your barbecue stash.”

Tano invited me in, finally. I removed my ridiculously expensive Gucci boots and placed them by the door. I thought about how many college textbooks the cost of my boots would get Tano. Bradley finally turned to me and smiled. Machismo was so ugly. I hated his cavalier attitude. I wanted him to choke on the sparerib he was eating. His mouth, the same mouth I allowed on me made me sick.

A thick silence settled in the room, and the only sound was Bradley sucking on the rib. Tano looked at Bradley with a sneer and made an excuse to go upstairs.

“So, do you like reading my mail? You know that’s a federal offense.” I said.

“Hey, you’re still my wife and letters from strangers, well, it’s my job to look into it.” Bradley stated while his mouth was still full of minced meat and red rice. Tano must be a good cook, since Bradley didn’t have an appetite just the other day.

“Did you not understand that Thomas is a friend?” My voice bubbled with anger. “How convenient that you happen to be related to his roommate. Do you plan on harassing my friend in his own home?” My mind began to wonder about the contents of Thomas’s letters. They must have been harmless enough since Bradley was calm so far.

For a few moments, I allowed my eyes to take in Thomas’s sanctuary. It was definitely a bachelor pad. I saw opened bags of chips on the counter, several kids’ cereal boxes aligned on the refrigerator, plastic plates and cups. There were
latte stones,
symbols of our Chamorro culture and pictures of different women underneath Guam magnets on the white stock refrigerator. My eyes scanned the many attractive faces and I was secretly relieved that Thomas was not in any of them. There was a framed picture of Thomas and his sister, and what looked to be his parents on a bookshelf. He looked barely eighteen. I smiled at how cute he was then and Bradley caught me and he cleared his throat.

“Want some ribs?” Who was Bradley to offer food? I shook my head no and continued to stand away from him keeping the counter between us.

“Bradley. Please do not come into Thomas’s home again. I don’t care if Tano is your cousin. This is just not right!” I wondered how Bradley explained his way in. Did he recognize Tano right away?

“So, Thomas works at Bag It by the base, huh?” Evidently, he did a lot of talking with Tano. Some friend Tano was to Thomas, I thought.

I gritted my teeth. “Bradley. I’ve set up an appointment for military legal to draw up the divorce papers. It’s set for next Monday. Please. Don’t make this difficult.”

Bradley’s eyebrows furrowed and he stopped chewing. Then he smiled again. A piece of charred flesh stuck in his teeth. I didn’t think it was possible for him to be more repulsive.

“Oh, Nix, I don’t want to make anything difficult for you. I love you.” He said melodically, mockingly. I cringed. “But, babe, the divorce will have to wait. I’m off to training again by next week.” It had been almost two weeks since he returned, and it wasn’t odd for him to go off to specialized training again. I didn’t care what it was for or where, I hadn’t planned on keeping in touch, but I needed to reset my target for freedom.

“When will you be back?” I sounded like I was begging. Bradley seemed satisfied and he resumed eating.

“Oh, you know maybe the end of November, but definitely by Christmas. Do you really want to get a divorce before the holidays?” I wanted to get divorced last week. I resigned to the fact that I wasn’t going to get my way this time. Another six to eight weeks, I thought. I wanted to be released and open to more, to being me, to knowing Thomas. How long would he be patient with this friendship clause I put in place? Why was I being such a goody two shoes? Bradley promised to stay away from Thomas after I assured him for the hundredth time that we were just acquaintances.

Tano bounded downstairs. He looked at me, maybe trying to read the situation. “Thomas is dating someone anyway.” I wasn’t prepared for how that would make me feel. I felt like my feet were swept from under me, but when I finally looked at Tano, he gave me a wink. I took a deep breath, relieved.

Bradley insisted on staying to catch up with his “cuz.” Tano walked me out and gave me a warm hug. Although we just met, he was from Guam and it was nice to meet him. I just wished it was under different circumstances. Tano whispered in my ear, “Hey, Phoenix, don’t worry about Bradley. He’s a prick. Thomas is my boy and I know he’s crazy about you. I won’t let Bradley get near him. Promise.” Tano’s massive muscles surrounded me and I knew he could handle Bradley if he needed to. It was nice to hear that Thomas took priority over Bradley. I left relieved, with Tano’s words echoing in my head,
he’s crazy about you.

There was a tiny, silver lining on this dark cloud. Bradley would be gone, giving me time to stay in the condo, put apartment hunting on hold and keep my tiny budget intact. I had to make sure Uncle Tony was okay if I stayed until the weekend was over and Bradley was on a plane.

I called Rachel and updated her on the latest drama. I also shared that our company party would be at Pass the Mic. She wished she could be there and she made me promise to sing at least one song
on stage
for her. I made that promise to her, why the hell not.

I found myself tingling again as I drove to Bag It. Thomas wouldn’t know if I was on a job or not, but I had to see him, knowing Bradley was busy at his condo probably raiding their freezer for ice pops by now. This time I pulled up to a spot right in front of the shop. Relief swept over me when I saw Thomas’s car. I knew he had another hour on his shift. I fixed the collar on my white turtleneck sweater and rubbed my cold hands over my black jeans.

Alma smiled like she recognized me as I approached the counter. The lunch crowd had just left and several sailors were finishing up their meals. I thought I heard a lewd comment directed towards me, but ignored it. Thomas was not in sight. Alma scanned me up and down and when her eyes saw my boots she flipped.

“Oh, my god! Are those Gucci boots?” I looked down at my footwear like I wasn’t sure.

“Uh, yes.” I was about to claim they were knockoffs, but Thomas emerged from the back. He had refill bins in his hands. Alma screeched with excitement as she nearly hopped the counter to get a better view of my boots. That drew Thomas’s attention to me and our eyes locked. Alma was at my feet and I thought,
they’re just shoes.
Thomas smiled that special smile and placed the bins down, not looking at what he was doing. A silver bin of sliced tomatoes almost toppled to the floor, but he made a quick save.

“Oh, what size do you wear?”
Alma’s voice broke my gaze. She was one strange little cookie. “You must be an eight, right? I’m a five, but I will pay you ten bucks if I could try it on.”

“
Alma, why are you harassing our special customer?” Thomas said as he approached the counter. Thomas was in a navy blue long sleeved company shirt. He wore relaxed faded jeans and his black leather belt adorned with a silver Celtic knot buckle drew my line of sight to his midsection. I especially loved how he had his shirt tucked in to show off the bling, like it was a sheriff’s badge. Alma’s peep drew my attention away from Thomas again.

“Ten bucks? How long do you want to wear them for?” I asked, half-jokingly.
Alma’s eyes lit up. She seemed to be calculating how many minutes would be fair.

“Ten minutes? I’m going on break and there is a bitch next door at the smoothie shop that I would love to flaunt these boots at!” Right time to come in, I thought. I’m going to make this little girl’s vengeful dreams come true, for free though.

Before I knew it I was sitting in an almost empty sandwich shop with Thomas, my Hello Kitty socks in plain view. We watched Alma fly out of the shop.

“So what did I do to deserve a visit from you?” Thomas teased. “Besides piss off your husband with my two part essay entitled,
Why I Love Guam
.” Oh, he ruined the surprise. I had to read those letters now.

“I’m here because you didn’t get pummeled by my soon-to-be ex-husband; and your roommate slash buddy for life was a great guy.”