Second Thoughts (9 page)

“So what if they haven’t? What do you expect me to do? Go home and call off my wedding. This is crazy, Sara.” She snatched her hand back.

“So you’re going to marry someone who lies and manipulates you?”

Melissa shook her head numbly. “You’re making her out to be some kind of psychopath. She’s a good person, Sara. I’m sure she was just looking out for me.”

Reeling, Sara pushed herself up onto her feet. Why had she thought she’d get any other reception than this? Did she really think Melissa was going to just run off with her to the States and live happily ever after? “I’m sorry. I’ve been foolish. I’ve made a right idiot out of myself.” She moved to the desk and flipped her laptop open. “You might as well leave now.”

Melissa sprang to her feet, her question immediate. “What are you doing?”

“Booking my ticket back to the States. I should never have come back here. You’ve got your own life now. I was stupid to think anything could have come of this.”

“What? But I thought…”

She twisted around to look at her, eyeing her whole body in the process. Her face turning a shade of pink, just like it did in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Sara had never wanted anybody as much as she wanted her at that moment. A hot flush swept through her body at the very thought of being naked with her again.

“Melissa, there’s no point me hanging around is there?” She stared at her for a few moments. She could read the frustration in her eyes from where she sat.

Melissa began to pace the room, her hand glued to the side of her face. “Wait, just wait a minute. I can’t think straight.”

Sara brought her eyes to Melissa’s face. “What do you need to think about?” She couldn’t understand why Melissa wasn’t angry at what Bettina had done. Her actions had proven her to be a liar. A predator who had struck when Melissa was at her most vulnerable. But she couldn’t say these things to her. Sara knew, more than anyone how very loyal Melissa was to those she loved. If she loved Bettina as much as she said she did, there’d be no getting through to her. Melissa would have to work it out for herself.

“I... just... wait. I don’t know what I want.”

In her brief moment of hesitation, Sara quickly rose from her seat and went to Melissa. “Are you saying we’ve still got a chance?” She reached out and touched her cheek as Melissa turned her face away. The feel of her skin under her fingers lit up her nerves like an electric shock.

Melissa put her hand over Sara’s and moved it to her mouth. Her soft lips resting on them before saying with a trembling voice. “I don’t know what to do, Sara. I’m so confused.”

Sara closed the distance between them. Standing centimetres apart, she leaned towards her, their mouths so close they were nearly touching. Sara held her gaze. “Didn’t you once tell me you knew you loved me within seconds of meeting me?”

Melissa drew in a sharp breath. “Yes, but that was different. We were single. We didn’t have baggage or responsibilities back then,” she said in a throaty whisper, her half-slit eyes fixed firmly on Sara’s mouth as she ran the tip of her tongue over her top lip.

To Sara, the outer world seemed to have disappeared. All that existed was the two of them. She cupped Melissa’s face in her hands. “Melissa, if you decide to marry Bettina, I can’t be around to witness it. It would hurt too much.”

Tears threatened to fall as Sara looked at the woman she was afraid of losing all over again. She had to get through to her. For a moment all she could think about was holding her in her arms and never letting her go.

Instead, she dropped her hands to her side and stepped back, breaking the intense connection. She knew what needed to be said. “I need to know where I stand by the end of the week as I have to book my return ticket. We can be together, wherever you want to be. Will you think about it?” she said, struggling to keep her voice clear.

Melissa nodded mutely as she dropped her eyes to the ground.

“Good,” Sara said with a finality she didn’t feel. “So how about I order room service and we can catch up?”

Melissa’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh crap.”

“What is it?”

“Bettina is going to kill me. I was meant to be home for lunch. Eli is coming over with her partner. Sorry, I’ve got to go.” She walked quickly to the door and opened it.

“You’ve got until the end of the week, Missy.”

Melissa’s eyes were a sea of confusion as she took one last look at Sara then disappeared through the open doorway.

Sara came back for me.
The shock of Bettina’s betrayal had floored her, but she hadn’t wanted to express her anger in front of Sara. She was going to deal with Bettina her way. She gripped the steering wheel as she waited for the traffic lights to change to green. What had Bettina been thinking, interfering in her life in such a way? Why hadn’t she told her Sara hadn’t abandoned her in her hour of need after all? What could have been her reasoning for doing something so cruel? The life she had once thought was safe and secure had been blown to smithereens and Bettina, the woman she thought loved her, had been the instigator of it. Her hands trembled at the thought of the upcoming confrontation. Before she made any rash decisions, she wanted to hear Bettina’s side of the story and only then would she decide what to do.

Bringing the car to a halt outside their house twenty minutes later, her anger still hadn’t subsided. She was angry that Bettina’s actions had placed her in a situation that was going to end in tears, whichever path she followed.

Melissa jumped out of the car and raced to the front door, her heart thumping with each step. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. Hearing movement in the kitchen she walked towards it. Every word Sara had said replayed in her mind. Three weeks Bettina had lied to her. Three weeks when she had lain in bed broken, her heart in pieces, yearning for the only person who could help heal her. Bettina had stood between them. What if she had said yes to Sara then and there? What if she had told her the truth that she was still in love with her and there hadn’t been a day that passed that her heart hadn’t cried for the loss? But she couldn’t. Her loyalty to Bettina overrode her heart’s desire.

As she entered, Bettina was bent over the dishwasher.

“Where the hell have you been? Lunch finished an hour ago.” Bettina put the last dish in the dishwasher and slammed the door shut.

Melissa’s hands clenched at her sides. “Why didn’t you tell me about Sara?” she asked through gritted teeth.

Bettina whipped her head around, her eyes sweeping Melissa’s face. “What are you talking about?” she replied dryly.

“Sara! You know, my ex, who you told I didn’t want to see.”

Bettina eyed her up and down. “Oh, so that’s where you’ve been, with Sara, whilst I’ve been sat here entertaining your sister.”

Melissa combed her fingers through her hair and stared at her, not grasping why she wasn’t more repentant. “Don’t change the subject, Bettina. I want an answer.”

Bettina turned away, reached for a damp cloth from the side and frantically wiped around the sink. “What do you want me to say? It was for your own good.”

“Says who? What gave you the right to interfere in my life?”

Bettina spun around, fear and panic in her eyes. “Melissa, she would have only hurt you again. I didn’t want that to happen. You weren’t strong enough for–”

“– Bettina, my problem was the fact that I’d lost Sara as well as my parents.”

“She would have left you again. Your happiness was not her priority. I thought you knew that.”

Melissa winced. “That was a massive assumption for you to make on my behalf, wasn’t it?”

Bettina laid her hand on Melissa’s shoulder to which Melissa shrugged it off. “Please don’t be angry with me. I did it to protect you.”

“Protect me? Is that going to be your excuse when you hide things from me? How can I trust you anymore?”

“Because I give you my word.”

“I really don’t know if that’s enough Bettina. I feel so betrayed. I trusted you. I thought you had my back.” She turned and walked with purposeful strides towards the front door.

“Where are you going?” Bettina called out to her.

“Out.”

“Back to her you mean.” Her tone held a sharp edge.

Melissa turned and walked back to her. She clenched her jaw and squinted. “No, not back to her. This isn’t about Sara; it’s about you lying to me. This has really messed with my head, Bettina. I need some time to think about things.”

Bettina looked at her stone-faced. “There’s nothing to think about. She was wrong for you and don’t think she’s any different now.”

Both women looked towards Bettina’s phone when it began to ring on the worktop.

“There you go again, making assumptions when you know nothing about her. I’m going to stay at Faye’s for the night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bettina picked the phone up swiftly and looked down at her caller ID. “Great. Just what I need, my mother. Please just wait until I take this call, she’s calling about the seating arrangement. We can discuss things calmly over a drink.”

“No, Bettina. I’m too angry at the moment. I need some space.”

“If you put one foot out that door, Melissa, we’re through and I mean it.”

Melissa halted halfway down the hallway, her mind scrambling as she took another step forward.
This is unbelievable, even when she’s in the wrong she still has the upper hand.
She was a ballerina in a jewellery box. Bettina turned the key and she danced to her tune.

She walked to the end of the hallway, turned and ran up the stairs.

Eli looked over at Scott sat on the armchair. His chest rose and fell steadily as he had his afternoon nap. She wished she could have fallen asleep, then to wake and realise it was all a bad dream. But she had no such luck. She was wide awake, but numb, as she tried to get her head around the fact that her own mother had an affair and with Scott – her dad’s best friend of all people.

How on earth were they going to move on from this travesty? Scott had begged and pleaded with her to try and understand it from his point of view. As hard as she had tried she couldn’t. Had Scott had sex with her mother in her parents’ bedroom? The very bedroom they both occupied at night. Did he lie there night after night fantasising about her mother while he held her in his arms?

She stood, made her way to the kitchen then flipped the kettle on. As much as she wanted a stiff drink she didn’t think it would bode well with her mood. She needed to keep her emotions under control. Not only to keep herself from tearing into Scott but to help her make plans for the future. She knew kicking him out of the house and ending their relationship was not feasible at the moment. Not with Melissa’s wedding around the corner. Melissa was counting on him giving her away – what would she say if she found out that her real father might not be dead after all but was actually going to be walking her down the aisle?

She knew Melissa well enough to know that she would reject any notion of Scott being her father, in an instant. She loved and adored the man who had brought them up and as far as Eli was concerned that’s what made someone a real parent – the one who was there through thick and thin. Not someone who turned up twenty-five years later wanting to take the title because he had impregnated someone during a one-night stand.
My mother of all people
.

Scott walked into the kitchen as if it was just another normal day. That he hadn’t shattered her world. “I wouldn’t mind a cuppa if you’re making one.” He opened a cupboard door, taking out a packet of biscuits.

Eli’s body trembled with rage just being in the same room as him. She had to remain calm, she told herself as she took an extra cup off the hook and put it beside her own.

Scott leaned back against the worktop and popped a broken piece of digestive in his mouth. “Do you want one?” he asked out stretching his hand towards her with the biscuits.

Eli gave him a sideward glance and shook her head. She had to tell him without getting hysterical that he needed to move his stuff into one of the spare rooms. But she didn’t trust herself to speak. It felt as if he was mocking her, standing there eating biscuits as if nothing had happened.

She drew a deep breath. “Scott, you’re going to have to sleep in another room until we get this situation sorted.”

“Oh come off it, Eli. Don’t you think that’s going a bit far?”

She turned to him. “How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot? That you just found out that I had slept with your father and there was a possibility that your brother was my son.”

“Look, Eli, I’m not saying this hasn’t come as a shock to you, but give me some leeway here. Your mum was just as much to blame as I was. I didn’t force her into anything.”

“No, I bet you didn’t. I suppose you were just a shoulder to cry on. Pretty much how you and I got together.”

“Believe what you want. But if you think I’m going to be living here under a dark shadow for something that happened twenty-five years ago, you’ve got another thing coming. I had enough of this shit with my wife. I’m not going through it again.”

He put the biscuits back in the cupboard and slammed the door.

“Where are you going?” she called after him, panic rising within her as she heard his feet stomping up the stairs.

“I’m leaving. That’s what you want isn’t it?” he shouted back at her.

She followed him upstairs to their bedroom and watched as he began to pack. Her bravado soon vanished as fear gripped her. The realisation that she could soon be alone hit her hard. That was something she wouldn’t be able to bear again.

She walked to him, put her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

They had come through tougher things than
this
so what was to stop them doing it again?

Melissa sat opposite Bettina at the dining table in silence, using her fork to move the pasta around her plate. She knew she was acting like a broody teenager but had never been able to eat when she was feeling anxious. She glanced up at Bettina who didn’t seem to be having any problems at all. She had been planning to spend the night in the spare room watching Netflix movies, but Bettina had demanded Melissa go down to eat at the table. Despite not wanting to be within a foot of Bettina, she obeyed her order like a child.