Second Thoughts (8 page)

“Oh come on. I travelled all this way to see you and we’ve barely spoken. Come to my hotel for a drink,” Sara’s voice cajoled smoothly over the phone.

When she eventually spoke again, common sense had become a distant memory. Maybe if she met up with her in the cold light of day her feelings would become clear. Were they a reality or a fantasy she’d made up in her head? There was only one way to find out. “Okay, but it will have to be in an hour or so. I’ve got a few things to do first. And Sara, just one coffee, then I’m leaving.”

“Whatever you say. I’m at the Flynn Hotel along the River Thames. I’ll text you the address.”

Bettina put her phone down on the table.
I bet she’s with Sara.
Though she hoped it wasn’t true, there was no other explanation. Why else would she have her phone switched off? She felt powerless – as if she were on a plane in a nose dive, just waiting for the inevitable.

She turned to Eli and Scott who sat next to each other as if they were strangers on a train, which was odd seeing as they normally acted like teenage love birds.
Perhaps they’ve been arguing
.

Eli met her eyes and for the first time Bettina noticed the red rim around them, as if she’d been crying all night. “Are you okay?” she mouthed to her as Scott turned his attention to the Sunday paper.

Eli’s jaw tightened as she nodded. “Are you?” she mouthed back.

Bettina smiled trying to act as if she didn’t have a care in the world despite feeling like everything was falling apart around her. Twenty-four hours ago, things were going according to plan and now – she was waiting for the storm she knew was on its way.

“Melissa’s phone’s still turned off.” She bit the inside of her cheek. Why the hell had that woman returned when she was so close to achieving everything she wanted with Melissa? Was this karma coming back to bite her on the behind?

Scott looked up and smiled at her sympathetically. “I’m sure it’s nothing serious. She most probably got an onslaught of customers wanting to try out her new coffee range.”

“I’ve called the shop. No one’s picking up in the office,” she said lightly. “Shall we tuck in? I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.” She gestured for them to eat, reaching over to fill their glasses with ice water.

“So bride-to-be, are you getting nervous about your big day,” Scott asked, putting the paper to one side before piling salad onto his plate and looking at her with a grin.

Bettina stabbed a piece of chicken and bit into it, chewing it slowly before finally speaking. “You know I always thought I would. But I’m not in the slightest. I can’t wait for it to all be over if I’m honest.” Especially now Sara was back. If Sara had told Melissa the truth there might not be a wedding taking place at all.

Scott rested his knife and fork on his plate. “So now the hen nights are over, no more partying for you two aye?”

Her head thumped as she tried to keep her composure. She didn’t want Eli and Scott to be aware of the upcoming bomb that was about to explode in her face. “Definitely not. Those days are well and truly over for us. I’d feel like a teacher at a school dance. All the women in the bars today are so young.”

Scott leaned back in his seat. “You’re not quite a dinosaur yet, Bettina.”

“Well it certainly feels that way sometimes.”

He smiled at her. “Eli said they all had a great time at the hen do. I’m sure Melissa isn’t quite ready to trade her party shoes for slippers.” He chuckled.

“I’m afraid that’s not debatable. She’s going to have to be a lot more responsible when the baby arrives.” Panic gripped her. If Melissa found out the truth was she even going to come home?

Bettina picked up her phone again and pressed redial. “And that includes making sure I can contact her.” Her face turned into a scowl. “I’ve lost count how many times I’ve told her to make sure her phone is charged. Honestly, it’s like dealing with a child sometimes.”

Eli pushed back her chair and stood. “I’m sorry Bettina; I’m going to have to go home. I’m not feeling too well.”

“You should have said. Would you like some Alka Seltzer? I think I’ve got some in the cupboard.”

“No... I think I just need to lie down for a while.”

Bettina cocked her head. “You can always use the guest room if you like.”

Eli shook her head. “I’ve got too much on my mind at the moment. I need to be at home.”

“Has something happened?” she asked, looking first at Eli then at Scott.

The core of his body was erect and his face was suddenly pale as he jumped to his feet. “No, everything’s fine. Eli’s right. She just needs to rest.”

“You know you can always talk to me Eli–”

Eli smiled faintly. “No. Like Scott said, I’m just tired. I shouldn’t have drank so much yesterday. Tell Melissa I’ll call her tomorrow. I’m sorry you went to all this effort for nothing.”

They bypassed Bettina, kissing her on the cheek before leaving. Bettina glanced at the half empty plates.
What on earth was all that about?
she wondered as she gulped a large mouthful of the water. She wished Melissa would hurry home – one way or another she needed to know what the future held for them now Sara was back.

Sara’s diaphragm spasmed as she watched Melissa alight from her car and hand the valet her keys. She couldn’t believe Melissa was actually there in the flesh. It still felt like a dream.

She kept her eyes trained on Melissa as she walked confidently towards the hotel’s entrance. As she reached the sliding glass doors, Sara walked through them to meet her.

Sara reached out and hugged her, enjoying the firmness of Melissa’s body. Reluctantly, after a few seconds, she withdrew her arms and stepped back. “You look beautiful.”

A small laugh escaped Melissa’s lips, her flawless cheeks turning crimson. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

Sara opened her mouth to speak, then closed it abruptly. She didn’t know how to frame the next question without it sounding as if she was coming on too strong. She wanted to speak to Melissa alone, without any distractions, and there was only one place that she could do that.

She finally settled on something that sounded plausible. “Do you mind if we have a drink in my room. I’m waiting for a call from the US.” She laughed when she saw a look of doubt flicker on Melissa’s face. “I swear to God I’m not going to jump you as soon as we’re alone.”

“I never said...”

A faint smile curved Sara’s lips. “You didn’t have to. Your face said it all. Come on,” she enthused. “My dad footed the bill for my stay here. You’ve got to see how cool the steam shower is.” She realised she’d stuck her foot in her mouth when she saw Melissa’s jaw tense. Though the memories of their showers together still gave her goose pimples, it was obvious that their last encounter was the one that was stuck in Melissa’s mind – or rather what happened afterwards.

“I’ll come up with you Sara, but only for coffee.”

Sara held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Okay, okay. Message received loud and clear.”

“Good.” Melissa smiled brightly as she reached into her pocket and switched her phone off.

Minutes later they sat in Sara’s modest but tastefully decorated hotel room. Melissa lowered herself onto one of the lime-coloured leather chairs while Sara made coffee. Handing it to her, she sat opposite on the edge of the bed.

“I can’t believe you haven’t changed a bit.” Sara eyed Melissa as she sipped the coffee and leaned over to place it on the table.

Melissa looked doubtful. “I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years.”

“Not even a year. You look exactly the same even with your hair shorter.” Her heart thundering in her chest, Sara instinctively reached over to brush Melissa’s hair away from her face. Their eyes locked for several seconds before Melissa leaned away slightly, causing Sara to snatch her hand back.

“I can’t believe we hardly spoke yesterday. There’s so much I want to know.”

“Like?”

“Like how come you ended up running a coffee shop? I thought you wanted to be the CEO of a charity and travel the world saving animals.”

“I did. But reality set in. The coffee shop was quite accidental actually. It was Bettina’s idea. The shop came up for rent and she thought, with me having a business degree, it was a great opportunity to start my own business, especially as there wasn’t any nearby competition.” She shrugged. “But the lease is coming to an end soon and I still don’t know whether the landlord is going to extend it or not.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. So what’s been happening beside work? What’s life been like for you?”

“I’ve got no complaints. My life’s pretty much like everyone else’s. Work and pleasure. What about you?”

“Mostly work, unfortunately.”

“Some things never change then.”

Sara ignored the insinuation. They both knew she had only put her career before their relationship once and she’d been paying the price for it ever since.

“Do you want something stronger to drink?” Sara suggested as she stood and walked over to the mini bar.

Melissa declined with a wave of her hand. “I can’t. I’m driving.”

“You could always leave your car here and get a cab back.” Sara’s tone was light and breezy as she poured herself a gin and tonic.

“No, it’s okay. Isn’t it a little bit early for alcohol?”

“Not for me, I’m on holiday remember.” How could she tell her that she desperately needed something to calm her nerves before she exploded right there in front of her. It was unbelievable but nothing had changed in all these years. Her attraction to her was still as strong. She wanted nothing more than to kiss her there and then like she used to. Knowing that would be the biggest mistake she could make, she took a quick sip of her drink instead.

“I suppose it would look funny, you turning up home without your car, unless...”

“Unless what?”

She cocked her head. “Unless you’re going to tell Bettina where you were.”

“And why would you think I wouldn’t tell her?” Melissa asked frowning.

Sara shrugged. “I dunno. I don’t think I’d be happy if we were together and you were seeing an ex.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re not together then.” She lowered her eyes to the ground as she said softly. “Besides, Bettina doesn’t know much about you.”

Sara sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes narrowing into slits. “Oh. So I wasn’t that important to you then?” Horribly aware that her voice sounded accusative, but unable to help herself she continued. “What did you do, just carry on as if I was never a part of your life?”

Melissa’s head jerked up, her eyes widening. “Let’s not start rewriting history here. If I remember correctly it was
me
that wasn’t as important as your career. You didn’t even have the decency to send me a condolence card when my parents died.”

Sara rolled her neck, wincing when she heard the cartilage crunch. “Okay, but I didn’t hear about their deaths until after the funeral. I’d only just arrived in San Diego and had no internet access or phone for the first week I was there.” She paused, close to not revealing all the effort she had made to get in contact with her and the humiliation she had felt at the rejection. But she realised that if they were going to get closure, everything had to be out in the open no matter how much it hurt. “As soon as I found out, I came back to England – I was willing to give up everything but it was
you
that decided to turn your back on our relationship.”

Melissa gave her a look of exasperation. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Sara stared at her. “Oh don’t play games, Melissa. Three weeks you had your guard dog turn me away. I understand you were grieving for your parents, but don’t try and backtrack now.”

“Guard dog? I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sara’s eyes narrowed as she saw the confusion in Melissa’s face. “You really don’t, do you?”

“No, that’s what I’ve been saying.”

Sara sat on the edge of the bed and gripped her knees. “Melissa, I tried calling you, but couldn’t get through.”

Melissa looked down at her hands. “I blocked your number after I emailed you and got no reply. How did you find out where I lived anyway?”

“I found out your new address from our old landlord. I came by every day and your new flatmate told me you didn’t want to see me.”

“Bettina told you that?”

“Oh, so that’s her name. Bettina. It all makes sense now.” What a fool she’d been. Bettina as she now knew her to be had been keeping them separate because she wanted Melissa for herself. “Well that explains that piece of the puzzle. In the end there was nothing more I could do, so I went back to America. I wrote you a letter explaining everything; I suppose you didn’t get that either.”

Melissa’s face paled as she shook her head slowly.

“Why wouldn’t she have told you?”

“I have no idea.”

Sara could no longer meet Melissa’s eyes when she asked the next question. If she answered yes, she didn’t think she’d be able to stand the pain. “Were…were you in a relationship with her at the time?”

“Of course not. I told you nothing started between us until six months ago.”

Sara pressed her hands over her eyes, feeling full of regret. “I should have insisted on seeing you.”

“It was most probably a misunderstanding.” Melissa protested weakly. “She probably thought she was looking out for me. I was in quite a mess.”

“Surely that was your choice to make.” Sara knelt down beside her and took her hand. “I love you, Melissa. That’s why I’ve come back.”

Melissa looked at her in shock. “Sara, I’m getting married next week,” she said in a low wavering voice.

Sara tilted her head to one side and stole a slanted look at her. “Yes, I know but you’ve still got time to change your mind. Be honest, would you have got into a relationship with her if you had known what she’d done?”

“Of course not, but...”

“There are no buts. We would still be together if it wasn’t for her dishonesty.”

Melissa combed her fingers through her hair. “I... Sara it isn’t that simple.”

“Why isn’t it? You can lie to me but don’t lie to yourself. I know you, Melissa and I know your feelings for me haven’t changed.”