Second Thoughts (13 page)

“I never said I hated it, I just said I prefer other types of food.” Melissa slipped her hand behind Bettina’s back to let her walk in ahead of her.

A large bronze statue of Buddha dominated the back wall of the small dining area.

As they waited for the couple in front of them to remove their jackets and hang them on the rack, Bettina pulled her lipstick from her pocket and expertly ran it across her lips.

“Are you nervous?” Melissa asked her with a frown.

“No. Why? Should I be?”

“Dunno. It’s just that you always reapply lipstick when you’re nervous.”

A waiter rushed over to them with a wide smile. “Good evening. Table for two?”

“Evening. No. We’re meeting someone.” Melissa stood on tiptoes to look into the crowded restaurant. Immediately she spotted the glossy auburn hair belonging to Chrissy. Smiling to herself, she opened her mouth to tell the waiter she had seen her friends when her mouth snapped shut. “Oh shit,” she said under her breath as she caught sight of Sara walking towards the table from the toilets.

Bettina stared at her. “What’s the matter?”

“Sara’s here. I swear I didn’t know she was coming.” She tugged on Bettina’s arm. “Come on, let’s go home. I’ll text Faye and say I couldn’t make it.”

Bettina caught her arm, stopping her before she could make an exit. “No, it’s fine. We’re not going to hide from anyone.”

Bettina side-stepped the waiter and walked briskly towards their table. Within seconds Melissa had caught up with her.

Chrissy was the first to spot them and stood up, immaculately dressed as usual in a two-piece business suit and heels. “Melissa,” she said embracing her tightly, before turning to Bettina. “Bettina, it’s good to see you again.” She smiled warmly at her before leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

Melissa caught Faye’s eye and raised her eyebrows, to which Faye shrugged her shoulders and inclined her head.

“What are you both drinking? There’s plenty of wine and beer,” Chrissy said gesturing to the drinks on the table as they took their coats off.

“Wine will be great. Thanks,” Melissa answered for both of them.

Bettina looked down at Sara, with a cool smile on her face. “We’ve not been introduced.”

“Not formally, no.” Sara stood and reached out her hand for Bettina to shake. “Nice to meet you again, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding.”

“Thanks,” Bettina said smiling. “We’re very excited about it, aren’t we Melissa?”

“Yeah,” she said trying to sound enthusiastic but failing miserably. She was going to kill Faye when she got her alone. She couldn’t understand why she seemed so intent on breaking her and Bettina up. It was as if she’d made it her life’s mission. If Melissa had the slightest inclination that Sara had been invited to dinner she would never have come. Faye obviously knew that, hence why she hadn’t told her.

Chrissy clapped her hands. “Right. Since we’re all here, shall we order?” she said brightly.

The women sat down and automatically picked up a menu, their eyes scanning the offerings in silence.

A waitress walked past the table carrying a tray of food, the aroma of curry trailing behind her. Instinctively Melissa looked up at Sara, where she sat adjacent to her, and quickly lowered her eyes again when Sara gave her a knowing smile. Thai curry had been Sara’s signature dish when they lived together. Ever since their break-up she had never been able to eat it again. It brought back too many memories.

Once the waitress had served the other customers their food, she doubled back to their table and took their orders.

Chrissy looked around the table and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. “Talk about a dead atmosphere. What’s wrong with you all? Cat got your tongue? I’m starting to wish I’d stayed at home.”

There was a ripple of polite laughter, followed by more silence.

Chrissy grabbed a bottle of red wine by the neck and filled all the empty glasses. “Come on, please somebody talk, otherwise I’m going to bore you all with the ins and outs of my work trip.”

“No, don’t.” Faye laughed and patted her hand. She turned to Bettina. “How’ve you been Bettina? Long-time no see.”

Bettina took a sip of her wine. “Good thanks.”

Silence.

“So what did you think of the stripper Faye hired?” Chrissy asked Melissa.

Melissa gave a slight shake of her head. “I could have murdered Faye for hiring her.”

The women continued to make small talk about the hen do until the food arrived. Melissa leaned back in her seat as the waitress put a plate of yellow curry and rice down in front of her. Her stomach turned.
It’s only food, it can’t hurt you.
She picked up her fork and forcibly put the food into her mouth. She looked up to find Sara staring at her, obviously sharing the same memories as her. She ran her hand through her hair as she glanced around the table. Faye and Chrissy were forking food into each other’s mouths as if they were on a first date. A small smile formed on her lips. Watching them reminded her of the times Sara and herself did exactly the same thing. Whenever they ate out, they would spend half the time feeding each other. Sara liked to call it their bonding ritual.

She was no longer able to resist the tangy flavours melting in her mouth, and she closed her eyes briefly as she savoured the taste – she had been doing herself a disservice by avoiding what was amazing food.

“Hmm, this is so good. Maybe we should have had a Thai buffet at our reception,” Bettina said as she happily chewed on her food.

“Hmm.”

“Is Thai still your favourite food?” Sara asked.

Though the question was innocent enough, Melissa saw Bettina’s eyes shoot up and look at her.

Melissa squirmed in her seat under Bettina’s gaze. “Um…I haven’t eaten it in ages.”

Faye leaned over the table with a grin. “You couldn’t get enough of it at university. You always had Sara slaving away in the kitchen making it for you from scratch. You two were always–”

“Here why don’t you try some of this?” Chrissy intercepted urgently, plugging Faye’s mouth with a spring roll.

Melissa gave Chrissy a grateful look before glancing at Bettina who was acting as if she hadn’t noticed Faye’s innuendoes. She then turned to Sara, who had pushed her plate aside and was tracing her finger around the rim of her glass. A profound sense of sympathy washed through her. Sara looked so sad. She wished she could put an end to all of this misery with a wave of a wand and everything could magically turn into a happy ending, but she knew this was reality and this story would have no such thing.

To her left was the woman she dearly loved and to the right was the woman she was deeply in love with. Sara’s leg brushed against hers, causing her to jolt up in her seat, her knee knocked the table causing the plates and glasses to shudder.

Melissa stiffened, momentarily abashed, as she looked around the table; Sara raised her eyebrows in response to her reaction. Faye had her head bowed, trying to stifle her laughter. Chrissy was looking at Faye with narrowed eyes as if she was a naughty child. Melissa could feel the heat creeping up her neck as she took a mouthful of wine and dared to look at Bettina, who was eyeing Sara as if she were an exotic animal she’d never seen before.

“So Sara, Melissa failed to tell me what you do for a living,” Bettina said.

“I’m a cell biologist.”

Melissa was relieved when Sara went on to explain her project in great detail. For one thing it meant Faye couldn’t start any trouble with her little digs.

Three bottles of wine later, the atmosphere at the table was one of relaxation. Melissa found herself unable to tear her eyes away from Sara’s mouth each time she opened it to speak. She had missed hearing the lyrical tone of her voice. Melissa found herself once again comparing the two women she was sitting between. She couldn’t help but notice they were total opposites.

Sara radiated a vitality that drew her like a magnet, unable to detach from her, whether she wanted to or not. Whereas she sometimes thought of Bettina as being quite matronly – very bossy and regimental. She had to admit she preferred the easy-going way of life she’d had with Sara, as opposed to the restrictive one she now found herself in.

She couldn’t help but wonder if she would have ever noticed these differences if Sara hadn’t come back. Would her blinkers have ever come off? As Melissa sat gazing at Sara, her thoughts and feelings of love for the two women crashed into one another as she tried to make sense of the barrage of mixed messages. Her heart squeezed in anguish as she prayed Bettina was as tipsy as she was and hadn’t noticed the longing in her eyes for another woman.

“Your job sounds fascinating,” Bettina said when Sara finished speaking.

Sara laughed. “It is, but to most lay-people it all goes over their heads.”

“I bet it does. When are you planning on going back? You know you are welcome to come to the wedding. We’ve had a couple of cancellations.”

Melissa flinched.
Did she really just invite her to our wedding?

Before Sara could respond Chrissy said quickly, “So where are you guys going on honeymoon?”

“We aren’t.” Bettina spilt her drink as she placed it on the table. She quickly grabbed a napkin and mopped it up.

“If you were a straight couple eyebrows would have been raised by the quickness of the marriage. Everyone would think you were pregnant,” Faye joked.

Bettina casually placed her hand over Melissa’s and looked directly at Sara. “Well, we’re going to be pretty soon.” She stroked Melissa’s hand with the tip of her finger. “On the fifteenth to be precise.”

“What!” Faye said almost jumping back in her seat.

“I know this must come as quite a shock, we decided not to tell anyone until the sixth week, but seeing as you’re all such good friends of Melissa’s, I don’t see what harm it could do,” she said smiling at each of them sweetly.

The air left Melissa’s lungs as she glanced at Sara and saw the hurt in her eyes. She then looked over at Faye and noticed her jaw tighten, but her mouth remained closed. Melissa could feel her cheeks flush as she scrambled for something to say. She instantly regretted not confiding in Sara and Faye in the first place. She hadn’t wanted them to find out like this. Bettina had really landed her in it this time she realised as Faye refused to make eye contact with her.

Melissa pushed her chair back. “Excuse me; I have to use the ladies.”

Shutting the toilet door behind her she rested her head against it.
What the hell is Bettina playing at? Why would she do that? Humiliate me in front of my friends and make it look like I’m keeping secrets from them.
It was totally bad form from Bettina, considering she was the one that forbade her from telling anyone, apart from Eli, about their baby plans in the first place. Bettina had just proved another point – if it benefited her she could do what the hell she wanted. It was obvious that she had pulled this stunt to hurt Sara
again
. She pushed herself off the door and walked to the mirror, pondering her reflection for a moment. The woman that looked back at her had the eyes of a weakling – a pathetic wimp who was too scared to follow her own heart.

The toilet door swung open and Faye literally flew in, her eyes conveying the fury within.

“Have you lost your fucking mind? A baby!”

“Faye, I didn’t tell you be–”

“Save it Melissa. Any fool can see that you’re not in love with Bettina. So why would you bring a baby into this mess?”

“Because it’s what I want…what I thought I wanted. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

Faye gave her a pitying look. “You’re not a kid anymore Melissa, you’re a grown woman. Isn’t it about time you started acting like one?”

“If you hadn’t brought Sara back I wouldn’t be in this situation,” she shot back at her.

Faye shoved her hands in her pockets. “Oh so you’re blaming me now?”

“No, of course not.” She bowed her head and slumped over the sink. “Is Sara angry with me for not telling her?”

“Sara’s gone back to her hotel and I don’t blame her if I’m honest. In fact, I think me and Chrissy are going to make a move as well.”

Melissa straightened up. She looked at her pleadingly. “Come on, Faye, please, let’s not fall out over this.”

Faye blinked slowly. “Look, I’m a bit pissed at the moment so I might be over-reacting to your ‘good news’. Shit, I can’t believe it.” She shook her head regretfully. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Faye patted her shoulder and left her standing there in a lonely silence wondering how the hell she was going to sort out this mess.

How could he have done it
–
raped my mother?
She had spent the entire day doing all she could to rid his presence from anywhere in the house. She’d dragged the bed they’d shared to the garden and covered it with BBQ lighter fluid before setting light to it. Quilts, towels, sheets, anything else he had touched were burnt. She had then turned to herself, scrubbing every inch of her body until her skin was red raw. She had called the police and told them of her findings but was informed there wasn’t a case to be answered. Scott couldn’t be prosecuted based on something someone had written in a diary. Her mother was dead so there was not going to be any kind of justice.
He was going to get away with it
. Eli sat at the kitchen table in the dark, her hand covering her mother’s diary. She stiffened in her seat as she heard the door slam shut, and Scott’s feet heading straight to the kitchen.

He pushed open the door and switched on the light, a look of surprise covered his features.

“So the wanderer returns?”

Scott looked down at his watch. “Sorry, I didn’t realise it was after ten, a last minute order came in just as I was shutting up shop. Why are you sitting in the dark?” He bent down to kiss her and she leaned back. Shrugging slightly, he walked to the fridge and opened it. “No dinner?” he said slamming the door shut. “When is this going to end, Eli?”

She glared at him. “You tell me.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

She stood up slowly, her hand gripping the diary as if her life depended on it. “You said it was a drunken mistake.”