Save Me (Elk Creek) (8 page)

             
I tried to think of something I could do to help her, but I knew that if I tried she would take offense and probably blow off our date. I gritted my teeth so I wouldn’t say anything, while trying to hide my anger. That was the last thing I needed—for her to see me angry. 

             
Eventually, we made it back to the house. I led her over to where Ethan, Matt and Blaine were sitting and pulled a chair out for her to sit down. She winced as she lowered herself into it, and I tried to hide my cringe. I pulled a chair next to hers, and sat as well. Noticing she was fidgeting again, I grasped her hand with mine, but left them on her lap. She looked up to me and smiled, it was a shy smile, but any smile of hers made me feel invincible.

             
It dawned on me that no one was talking, so I looked over toward the guys, who were not-so-subtly staring at Taryn and me. Ethan’s eyes were locked on our hands, Blaine was grinning, and Matt just looked stunned. 

             
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see Mr. Dalton, whose gaze was also on our linked hands. I stood up without letting go of Taryn’s hand. 

             
“Mr. Dalton, it’s good to see you, sir,” I said, extending my other hand.

             
He took my hand in a firm shake. “Carter, I’m glad to see you finally made it home.  What the hell is that mama of yours feeding you, boy? You’re like a Clydesdale among Shetland ponies.”

             
I chuckled, I could see where Taryn got her sense of humor. “It’s good to be home, I’ve missed a lot.”

             
He looked pointedly at our hands. “Yes, it seems you have,” he said. Then he looked back up to me with a grin on his face. “You best not be missing any more, young man.” He looked toward the other guys, nodded and strolled away.   

             
The awkwardness soon passed, and we all passed the time talking and watching some of the girls fawn over Ethan, who tried not to seem interested. I think it was only because Taryn was sitting there that he wasn’t going off with one of them. Matt had no compunction about leaving with a tall brunette he seemed to know already, while Ethan, Blaine and I kept talking. 

             
Periodically, Taryn would make a small comment about something that had been said, but she was nothing like the little spitfire from the lake. I considered briefly that she was uncomfortable with my open affection, but after she began rubbing her thumb along the top of my hand, I knew that wasn’t it.

             
I meet her aunt and uncle, both of whom seemed very curious about me, and their daughter, Maddie. She was, without doubt, the cutest little girl I had ever seen. All smiles, giggles, and huge, inquisitive eyes. After sitting with Ethan, and then trying to do something with Taryn’s hair, she climbed up into my lap easy as you please. 

             
“Who are you?” she asked.

             
“Carter, who are you?” I asked, smiling at her.

             
“I’m Maddie Ellen Gardner, but my mom says that I am more Dalton than Gardner, which is good, ‘cause Gardners are wimps, and Daltons are tough!” she declared matter-of-factly. I couldn’t help the laugh, she was just too much.

             
“You sound like a bear,” she giggled and looked toward Taryn. “Cousin Tare, he would make a good hider, wouldn’t he?” she asked, totally leaving me confused.

             
Taryn chuckled. “Yes, I think he would, Maddie. Maybe we can get him to hide for us another day.”

             
Maddie looked back to me. “Would you come play with me another day?” she asked with wide, imploring eyes.

             
“Uh, yes?” I replied, looking at Taryn for any sign as to what I should say. She gave me another one of those grins, and I felt like I had been let in on a highly coveted secret.  

             
The night was coming to an end, and I was reluctant to leave. I kept telling myself that I had a date with her on Friday, albeit it was only at my house, but it was time with her. After saying goodbye to Blaine, Taryn and I made our way into the house, where she walked me to the front door. I knew Ethan was nearby, probably Mr. Dalton as well, so I kept my voice down.

             
“Well, I will pick you up on Friday at seven?” I asked, just to make sure.

             
“Yes, I will be ready,” she said, and I knew it was time to go.

             
“Goodnight, Taryn.”

             
“Goodnight, Carter,” and I turned to walk out the door, instantly missing the warmth of her smile.

Chapter 6- Taryn

The week had passed with the agonizing speed of a slug. It was finally Friday—the day I had been anticipating since Sunday. I hadn’t heard from or seen Carter since, although I was sure Ethan was probably happy about that. Telling him and Grandpa about the dinner date was not one of my best moments. 

             
It was after Carter had left, everything was cleaned and put away. My hip was killing me so I sat down on the couch. I kept thinking about Carter, and what it felt like when he held my hand. The fact that he did that in view of anyone and everyone was not lost on me; it made me feel special, like I was worth something. I was sad when he had to let go, and itched to hold his hand again. In three years the only physical contact I had was with my family, and that stupid shrink. I was still baffled at the comfort and rightness I felt around Carter, but when I was near him, touching him, nothing else seemed to matter.

             
Grandpa and Ethan came in and sat down, both looking utterly exhausted. I wasn’t sure what the right words were to tell them, not that it would have mattered one bit.

             
“I’m going on a date this Friday,” I blurted out. I was never one for mincing words. The instant shock on both their faces was almost comical. Did they think that I had no interest in dating? Did they really think I didn’t want to grow up?  Yeah, I was technically an adult, but around here I felt more like a five-year-old.

             
Grandpa cleared his throat. “All right sweetheart, where are you going and who is taking you?” Count on Grandpa to stay calm and ask questions. I glanced at Ethan. He was wearing his notorious scowl, and the pinched expression he always gets when he’s about to blow up.

             
“Carter asked me to have dinner at his house, he said he will pick me up at seven on Friday,” I said, looking at Ethan.

             
“NO, he can come have dinner here. You aren’t going there by yourself!” Ethan spat.  The anger and hurt that instantly exploded in my chest was kin to devastation. Had I really allowed myself to be so controlled that I couldn’t even date? Not that it had ever been an issue, but Jesus, I was so sick and tired of feeling incapable and alone. I stood up, squared my shoulders and spoke directly to Ethan.

             
“Enough is enough, Ethan. I am going whether you like it or not. I’m not going to be regulated by your sense of duty and worry anymore. I’m frickin nineteen years old and can make my own blasted decisions. I am going!” By the grace of God, I held in the tears that were trying to break free.
Don’t show weakness, don’t show weakness
, I said over and over to myself.

             
Ethan stood as well, and stood in front of me so only a few inches separated our faces.  “What the HELL, Tare?” he said accusingly. “You can hardly leave this house without going into a meltdown. What makes you think you can be alone in a house you have never been in, with Carter Belmont, ALONE? What do you think will happen after you freak the hell out and piss yourself in front of him?”

             
That stung. I felt my chin start to quiver, and a few tears slipped out before I could stop them. I was hurt, shocked and downright furious with what he just said to me. How dare he humiliate me like this?

             
“Ethan!” Grandpa called out, attempting to get control of the situation. He was on his feet too, but before he could say another word, and before I could break completely, I let my anger free.

             
“You can go to hell, Ethan Dalton! You are not my father, HE IS DEAD!” The words ripped at my heart as I shouted them. “I don’t need another one! I don’t need you or want you!” I shoved him out of my face, and walked as quickly as my aching leg would allow to my room, slamming the door behind me.

             
I was able to hold myself together until I was in my bed, but with the stillness of dark, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The tears flowed, soaking my pillow, and I sobbed until my throat was raw. I sobbed for the hurt I felt at Ethan’s words. I sobbed for the situation as a whole, but I sobbed mostly for the look of anguish on Ethan’s face after I yelled those vial things at him.

             
That night, Ethan didn’t come to my room when I screamed.

             
The last few days had been tremulous at best with Ethan. He avoided me, hardly speaking to me, or looking at me, for that matter. Grandpa had tried to soothe us both. The morning after, he patiently sat with me in the kitchen, telling me that Ethan loved me, and he just didn’t want me to get hurt. I already knew this, but at some point I had to be responsible for myself.

             
“You are everything to him, sweetheart,” Grandpa said consolingly over his cup of coffee. “You don’t realize it, but he depends on you, too. You ground him, you make him see more than his pain and anger.  You both need each other, regardless of what you said.”

             
The following days ended in a pattern of waking early, dressing, and going to the kitchen so I could talk to Ethan. Only, every day I found he had already left for work, and didn’t come home until after I had gone to bed. Yesterday he came home a little after five, but when he saw me, he turned around and went to his room. Of course I followed him—this really had gone on long enough. After climbing the stairs to his room and knocking on the door and receiving no answer, I opened it. I heard the shower in his bathroom, so I went back downstairs to finish the laundry, figuring I would catch him when he came back down. I didn’t catch him. He somehow left without me hearing him, again.

             
Today was the second of August, and since I had taken on all of the bookkeeping for the house, I was able to put aside the anticipation for tonight, and my worries over Ethan. All week the only thing to divert my attention from both distractions was my online courses, and I finished the week’s assignments on Monday. 

             
Finished writing the last check for the gas company, I slid it in the envelope, and put a stamp on it. I picked up the pile of payments ready to go out in the mail, walked out of the study and set them on the kitchen counter for Grandpa or Ethan to drop in the mailbox at the end of our long gravel driveway. I glanced at my watch, seeing it was almost five, and went to my room to get ready for my date. Something that felt like a little paper-winged moth fluttered in my stomach when I thought about it: my first real date.

             
After showering, shaving, drying my hair, and putting on just a touch of mascara and lip gloss, I walked out of my bathroom to find Ethan sitting on my bed. Thankfully I had my robe on. A little startled and a lot nervous, I walked to the bed, and sat down next to him. I wasn’t sure what to say. I knew he needed to talk. So, I just waited.

             
“I’m sorry, Tare,” he began without turning to face me. His eyes remained trained on his hands in his lap. “I should have never said what I did, and you’re right, you don’t need me. I know you’re going to Carter’s, but before you leave, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” He spoke with such a despondent tone, it made my chest ache. With his head bowed, hands in his lap, and shoulders slumped, he made a perfect picture of dejection. Tears started to form in my eyes, and guilt swamped me. Trying desperately to not cry again, I grabbed his hand and turned my body to face him.

             
“Ethan, look at me, please.” He lifted his head until he met my eyes, and turned his body slightly toward mine. I had no control over my emotions, and I threw my arms around him, grabbing onto his middle and holding on tightly. I felt his arms come around me and tighten. 

             
“I’m so, so sorry, Ethan. I do need you, you are my best friend, and without you, I would have died, too.” My body was shaking with sobs. I could feel his chest quaking, and when I looked up to his face, he was crying, too.

             
“You are the best man that I know, Ethan. Your strength inspires and humbles me. You make me want to be better. You and me, Ethan always. Remember, it’s you and me,” I cried.

             
“Shhh, I remember Tare. You and me. I love you, baby sister,” he whispered in my ear, while rubbing my back and rocking. I couldn’t believe how much I had hurt him. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I had only seen Ethan cry three times since the incident: the first was when I woke up in the hospital, the second was my dad’s funeral, and now. To know I caused him to cry ripped me raw.

             
I’m not sure how long we sat like that before we released our embrace. He smiled—it was a sad smile, but healing nonetheless. He looked at his watch, and back to me.

             
“You only have half an hour before he gets here, I suggest you get yourself ready.” His smile got bigger, and after ruffling my hair, he walked to the door.

             
“Ethan?” I waited for him to turn around. “I love you, I will always love you.”

             
He walked back to me, kissed my forehead, and murmured, “I love you too, don’t ever doubt that. Be careful, and have fun tonight.”

             
After he had left my room, I made a mad dash to get ready. Back in the bathroom, I smoothed over my red nose and puffy eyes with a cool washcloth. I reapplied the mascara and lip gloss, brushed my hair, parted it, and left it down. Back in my bedroom, I put on a pale green sundress—I only had two dresses, and this was the least formal of the two. I didn’t do heels or those stupid strappy sandals, either. I was a total sneaker and flip flop kinda girl. I didn’t know jack about fashion or what was in season. Personally, I thought some of the stuff girls did to themselves to look fashionable was appalling.

             
I put on my favorite pair of white Chuck Taylors, and did a quick once over in the mirror. Feeling as ready as I could be, I grabbed my white knit sweater and my nicer handbag, and walked out of the bedroom. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was ten ‘til, and I tried to calm my nerves. I felt like my insides were all thrown into the washing machine and left on the spin cycle.  I made my way into the kitchen, thinking a drink would do me good. Actually, I just needed to move or I was going to explode from nervous tension.

             
I saw the outgoing mail still in a pile on the counter and, figuring neither Grandpa nor Ethan saw them, I put the stack in my bag. As I was taking my first drink of water, the doorbell rang. The nerves that I thought I had gotten under control were back with a vengeance. I downed the rest of the water and noticed my hand was shaking as I put the glass on the counter. “It’s just dinner,” I told myself. Obviously I was talking out loud, because I heard Ethan chuckle behind me.

             
I turned around and saw not only was Ethan standing there, but Grandpa and Carter as well. Great, just… great.

             
“I’m glad to see you’re ready, Taryn, you look beautiful,” Carter said as he reached out and grabbed my hand. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

             
Truthfully, right then the thought of food made me want to puke. I couldn’t imagine what the damage would be if I actually ate.

             
“Um, yeah I am,” I lied, with a smile of course. In turn, he smiled back at me and I took notice of how handsome he was. He was wearing a gray t-shirt that said,
I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are brilliant
in blue print across his chest. 

             
I snorted after I read his shirt—actually snorted. He laughed, and I couldn’t help but giggle.

             
Ethan and Grandpa must have thought we were ridiculous, standing there laughing at each other like a couple of fools. But I couldn’t take my eyes away from Carter—there was no word I could use to describe him other than beautiful. I stopped ogling before it became embarrassing. 

             
“Shall we?” he asked while directing me toward the door. I grabbed my bag and sweater off the counter.

             
“Yes, we shall.” I stopped by Ethan who was now standing in the entryway, surprisingly grinning at me. I stepped into him, and gave him a light hug. 

             
“Call me if you need anything, I’m not going anywhere tonight,” he whispered in my ear.

             
“No worries,” I whispered back.

             
After telling Grandpa goodnight, we made our way to his truck. Apprehension hit me when I saw that he too had a tall truck. I had been cautious of my walking, trying to hide my limp, but getting into that truck would be nearly impossible.

             
Carter must have felt my hesitation, because he pushed at the small of my back, and the tingling I felt from his touch there made me gasp. Having forgotten about the truck and thinking solely about his hand at my back, I was startled when he lifted me up by my hips into the passenger side of the truck. I squealed, more from surprise than any fear, and he laughed again. I really liked his chuckle.

             
“I wouldn’t want you to get dirty trying to climb in there,” he said with a smirk. I couldn’t talk, even if I had thought of something to say. I could still feel the warmth from his hands imprinted on my hips.