Save Me (Elk Creek) (6 page)

             
“Tell us what you know,” I demanded, not giving him any quarter. Seeing that shit was scary, and I wanted to know what would make that happen again so I could avoid it. At least, that’s what I told myself. I wasn’t ready to examine all the feelings I was feeling about this girl at the moment.

             
Blaine glared at both of us. “This goes nowhere. Do you understand?” he said, and we both nodded.

             
“From what I have noticed, Ethan keeps everything that has to do with Taryn quiet. I don’t know the reasons why, or what all her issues are. I did know she has panic attacks, but this is the first one I have seen. Ethan has warned me to watch my mouth in front of her, and not to touch her. When I made a joke about it, and referred to her as a nun, he got real pissed and threatened to beat my ass if I ever disrespected her again. Later, he told me she has these attacks sometimes.” Blaine paused for a moment and thought before he continued.

             
“I think she also has really bad nightmares. One night after helping Ethan with his Camaro, we were in the family room having a beer. She started screaming from her room. Man, she screamed so loud, I thought someone had broken in and was killing her. It scared the fuck out of me. After both of us ran to her room, all I saw was her thrashing on her bed and screaming before Ethan picked her up and started rocking her. It took him a while before she woke up, and then she just broke apart. I mean, she just sobbed and hung onto him, it was seriously the saddest thing I have ever seen.” He hung his head and ran his hands through his hair. 

             
I didn’t even know what to say, I was shell shocked, stunned, and at a complete fucking loss.

             
“She also had some kind of injury, too.” He looked at us both, shaking his head. “She limps, and I have seen Ethan help her walk and lift her up. He tries to be subtle about it, but I’ve noticed. He is extremely protective of her, and so is their grandpa. I have only talked to her a few times, she is really shy.” He snorted. “To tell you the truth, I don’t think Ethan wants any men talking to her, anyway.” He flopped down into the recliner, putting his head in his hands.

             
I looked over at Matt, who looked as troubled as I felt. I mean, what could I say to that? I felt like I’d just been pole axed. I felt like a lecher for all the nefarious thoughts I’d had since I saw her. I joined Matt on the couch and just sat.

             
After a few minutes of unbearable silence, I went to the kitchen for some beers. After all three of us had a beer, I quietly asked, “Do you know what caused any of it?”

             
“Not exactly, I think it has something to do with their dad dying, but Ethan doesn’t talk about his death at all, and I have never asked. He’s really a great guy, and is really fucking smart.  I mean, he blows me away with the math he can pop out of his head, and some of the ideas he comes up with are fucking ingenious. But, he has a lot of pent-up anger, on top of caring for Taryn all the time. I don’t think they leave her home alone, like ever, and she hardly goes anywhere either. It’s so messed up, and I feel bad for Ethan, he’s carrying some heavy shit on his shoulders.”

             
I was starting to get the picture as far as Ethan was concerned, and I couldn’t help but feel respect for him. Whatever Taryn’s problems were, it sounded like Ethan had cared for and protected her for a long time. I felt like my brain was on overload—it was spinning with thoughts that I couldn’t even decipher. Just the thought of that sweet voice screaming out was enough to make me see red. I really needed to pull myself together. I was getting way too emotional over a girl I hardly knew. It was fucking nuts!

             
Shortly after Blaine did his big reveal, albeit under duress, both he and Matt left. I decided the best thing for me to do was to just call it a night, and what a fucked up night. As I lay in bed, I found my thoughts drifting again to Taryn. What was it about this girl? All my protective instincts kicked into overdrive, and regretfully, so had the lust. 

             
I couldn’t help but feel excitement at the thought of seeing her tomorrow, only I hoped she would at least look at me and not go into a meltdown. 

Chapter 4
- Taryn

I wo
ke up to the sound of the lawnmower going by my bedroom window. I looked over at the clock to see that I slept in. It was after eight, and I had a crap load of stuff to do for the barbeque. I stepped out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

             
As I stood in the shower, I couldn’t stop thinking of Carter. He was huge. I mean, like really huge. Of course, a lot of people seemed tall to me, but, it was not just his height—he was stocky and wide, too. Not like body builder wide, but he certainly had muscles. He had a rugged look to him, not classically handsome or Abercrombie model handsome. I snorted at that. Abercrombie was probably too wussy for him.

             
I think what drew me to him the most were his eyes. Seriously, they were the most sincere eyes, with the most beautiful shade of brown I had ever seen. I never really thought brown eyes were beautiful, but his eyes were more golden in color than brown. His chestnut hair was shaggy and unruly, like he really couldn’t give a crap about styling it, but it worked for him.  I could totally see his muscled chest and arms through his black t-shirt, and his hands looked like they were as big as at least two of mine.

             
I found myself replaying his words in my mind. He had a very deep, masculine voice that had a scratchy quality to it. It was actually soothing to hear him talk. Then I remembered what he said, and everything else that made the event a total frickin disaster. You would think with enough drive and determination, you should be able to conquer anything.  At least that’s the garbage that you read on inspirational posters. It was a frickin diner with Ethan’s friends, and I totally bombed—not just any bomb, but Hiroshima bombed.

             
I really did feel bad for Matt. It wasn’t his fault I couldn’t hear the f-word without freaking out. I mean, who does that? I couldn’t imagine what Ethan thought, feeling like he needed to tell his friend off, and having his sister act like a psych patient in front of them. The one thing of the night that was positive was Carter’s touch. My goodness, it was only a handshake, but when our hands met, intense warmth ran from his hand and bloomed throughout my whole body. It was like lying out in the sun, letting the comfort and overall happiness flush through my skin into every cell of my being. 

             
I mentally shook myself from thoughts about Carter. Between thinking of him and berating myself for my behavior, I was surprised I ever fell asleep. That thought pulled me up short… I didn’t dream last night, or if I did, I didn’t remember it. I didn’t remember Ethan waking me, either. Whoa, and I wasn’t even knocked out with sleeping pills. Stunned, and somewhat happier, I finished with my shower.

             
It was almost noon, and I’d been spooning salads into serving dishes, arranging cookies on platters, and removing slabs of meat from marinades to prepare them for the grill. Grandpa walked into the kitchen and I couldn’t help the giggle that came out. He had grass clippings in his gray hair and green bits stuck to his face and almost blacking out his glasses. He was a tall man, and at 70, he was still built for working. Dad and Ethan both took after Grandpa in looks and size. 

             
“What are you laughing at?” he asked with his lips twitching.

             
“I was just wondering when Sesame Street was going to call looking for Oscar the Grouch,” I shrugged, holding in my laughter.

             
“Oscar the Grouch?” he asked with a quirked brow.

             
“Yeah, you know the green fuzzy Muppet on Sesame Street that lives in a garbage can?  When I first saw you, I could have sworn I was seeing Oscar.”

H
e just gave me a perplexed look. 

“Never mind, I think you’re too
old
to know Sesame Street,” I said, making sure to emphasize the key word.

             
“Boy, aren’t you in fine form this morning? You just remember that you are never too old to get a lickin’ by your grandpa, sweetheart,” he said, this time with a full grin.

             
I couldn’t hold in the laugh this time. The idea of Grandpa spanking me was ludicrous. I don’t think the man had ever spanked me, and I knew he never would. “Yeah, whatever you say
OLD MAN
!” I said, still laughing.

             
“Why, you little smartass! I’ll show you whatever!” He was laughing, too. He grabbed the hand towel off the counter and tried to snap me with it, although I knew he was purposefully missing me. 

             
“All right, all right, you’re not an old man,” I said, still chuckling. He threw the towel at me.

             
“That’ll teach you to respect your elders,” he retorted, making his way to the laundry room.

             
“You mean
ELDERLY
, right? Because that would fit you just fine,” I hollered.

             
“You just wait, this
ELDERLY
man is gonna tan your hide,” he hollered back with a chuckle.

I love
d that man. He had done nothing but support and love Ethan and me. He changed his whole way of living by taking us in, and had never complained or acted like we were a burden to him. If anything, he had gone out of his way to tell us how great it was that we were here.

             
By the time I got everything ready, Grandpa and Ethan had set up the canopies, picnic tables, chairs, and coolers in the backyard. Grandma had started the tradition of this barbeque before I was born, and after she died, Grandpa kept it going. Mostly just people from our road came, but a few other friends always showed up, too.

             
“Hello?... Tare?”

“
Cousin Tare, Cousin Tare!”

I hear
d the voices coming from the entry. “In the kitchen!” I hollered as I hunched down against the cabinet.

             
“Tare? Momma, where is she?” Maddie asked as she walked toward the cabinet. When I could see her get close enough, I emitted a growling noise, knowing this was her cue to find me.

             
“Cousin Tare! I gonna find you!” she called out with glee. Her little four-year-old feet started to patter on the tile and I gave a bigger growl. “Aaahh, I gotted you!” she said as she turned and ran into my arms. “Momma, I find her!”

             
“You did find me, little punk,” I said and started tickling her.

Maddie
was Aunt Mel and Uncle Jim’s daughter. I loved her adorable playfulness and how she always brightened my mood. It was impossible not to smile with her.

             
“I see you did,” Aunt Mel said down to Maddie. She looked to me, “What do you need help with?”

             
“Everything is ready, just needs to be set outside.” I gave Maddie a quick snuggle and set her down. 

             
“Uncle Jim outside?” I asked Aunt Mel.

             
“No, he’s going to be a little late, his golf game ran behind.” She rolled her eyes.

             
I laughed. She hated golf and gave Uncle Jim a hard time every chance she could. We both lifted a tray of food and headed to the sliding door with Maddie in tow.

             
“Etan!” Maddie yelled for Ethan, and was running off in his direction.

             
I put out my tray next to Aunt Mel’s on one of the picnic tables. “I think I’m going to go say hi to Dad, I’ll help with the rest in a minute,” she said.

             
“Okay,” I told her, making my way back inside for more. With a tray in hand, I reached to open the sliding glass door, and jumped back. The tray slipped from my hands with a deafening crash as a scream escaped my lips. Carter was standing on the other side of the glass. He opened the door and rushed to me.

             
“Are you okay? I was just coming in to use the bathroom. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, grabbing both my hands. The look of concern, and maybe fright, on his face along with his touch was calming. To my surprise, I felt my heart rate slow. My breath felt steady. I couldn’t believe I actually wasn’t panicking. Not to say he didn’t scare me half to death, but no real panic. Strange, yet a welcome strange. His hands enveloped mine, grasping and holding them. They felt warm and rough, but not hard.

             
“I’m fine, you just scared the crap out of me,” I gasped out, meeting his gaze. God, I think I was in love with his eyes. So bright and warm, cozy even. 

             
“TARYN!” I heard Ethan and Grandpa yell as I saw them running through the sliding door. I let go of Carter’s hands, but he continued to hold onto me. I looked rapidly from him to Ethan, then to Grandpa. The frantic looks on their faces snapped me into action.

             
“I’m okay, guys. Sorry I scared you. I just got startled, that’s all,” I said to placate them.

             
“It was my fault,” Carter said quickly. “I was coming in the same time she was going out. When she saw me it scared her. Sorry.” While he spoke, he did not take his eyes off of me. After a few moments of silence, and I could only imagine what Grandpa and Ethan were thinking, Carter released my hands, leaned down and started to pick up the dropped tray and food.

             
“I can get that, Carter,” I said as I began to do the same.

             
“It’s no problem, I made you drop them, after all.” He gave me a broad smile. Before I could stop it, a giggle erupted, and then another. 

             
“You just keep seeing me at my worst, lucky you,” I said in amusement. It was either that or start crying. How many times could I make a fool out of myself in front of him?

             
“Nah, not your worst, just you,” he replied with soft sincerity. I was a little taken aback, and tried not to question exactly what he meant by that. We both stood up, and I took the tray from him.

             
“Thanks,” was all I managed to get out as I walked back to the kitchen. After taking care of the ruined salads and dirty tray, I arranged new bowls of food and headed back out. As I got to the slider, I was relieved to find it free of any huge, muscled men and walked out on the patio. I noticed that Ethan was talking to Carter, and it seemed a little intense. I was curious what had Ethan so agitated. I was stupidly hoping it wasn’t about me. Not wanting to face them if it was, I ignored them.

             
After everything was set out, and guests had arrived, I piled some food on a paper plate, but didn’t feel much like eating, or talking to anyone, for that matter. I sat at a table by myself, pushing beans and pasta corkscrews around with my fork. Ethan approached me and dropped into the folding chair next to mine.

             
“Hey, why are you sitting over here by yourself?” he asked.

             
“Ethan, do you ever get tired of constantly worrying about me?” I asked without answering his question.

             
He looked at me, and his frustration revealed little creases in the corners of his eyes. “No,” he said. “I have worried about you since you were a baby, and I was just out of diapers. I will worry about you until I die. It is what it is, and Taryn, honestly, I wouldn’t be me without you. I need you just as much as you need me. That’s the way it should be, always.”

             
I nodded. “You know, I worry about you, too. I worry about what you’re sacrificing for my sake. The things you could be doing, instead of always hanging around taking care of me.  I’ve been thinking of talking to Uncle Jim about seeing another psychologist or something. I really want to go to school, and I realize that can’t happen right away, but I want to be on my own.” I could see his mood shift from frustration to anger. “I don’t want to be dependent on you all my life, Ethan. I want to do things too, like maybe drive a car, have friends, or heaven forbid a boyfriend.”

I d
idn’t really know why I chose that moment to tell him, but it just bubbled out.  Although, I regretted that decision when he went from just angry to downright scary.

             
“Taryn, NO… the answer is NO,” he burst out. “You can’t live by yourself. You know what? We will discuss this later, not right now.”

He was
really mad. I didn’t think he would be so angry. Worried—yes. Pissed off—no.

             
“Yeah… okay, Ethan,” I said, feeling dejected. He was right, this was going to be a fight, because I was not backing down. I would be reasonable, but I was not resigning my life to being perpetually babysat. He ruffled my hair, and walked back toward the party.

             
I decided to walk down to the lake. The lakeshore had always provided me solace and peace. I made my way down the sloping yard to the bank and slipped off my flip flops. I was thankful for my shorts and tank top. It had to be at least ninety degrees, and for Oregonians that was hot, like scorching hot.