Save Me (Elk Creek) (3 page)

“If I could I would
. Avoiding Tare with this sort of thing is always my first choice. Unfortunately, my grandpa is leaving early in the morning for Portland,” he replied.

I didn’t quite understand his point.
“Uh, sorry I don’t get it,” I said, after a moment of silence passed between us, his hand resting on the car door handle.

He chuckled
. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t know. Let’s just say that Tare can’t be home at night alone. So… yeah, thanks anyway. You know my grandpa is doing that neighborhood barbeque on Sunday. You should come. Blaine and Matt were planning on coming, too.”

“Yeah? Sounds good, what time?”
I could tell he was uncomfortable talking about his sister, and decided it was best not to ask more.

“Starts at two
,” he said as he jumped out of the truck. “See ya then.” He shut the door and walked to the house.

As I back
ed out of the drive way, I couldn’t help but wonder what all that was about with his sister. It sounded weird, almost like she needed a babysitter or some shit; completely not what I remembered of the little imp. She was so independent and demanding, a complete pain in the ass when we were kids. She constantly claimed to be Princess Taryn, and we were her subjects. Of course, we made fun of her, and would lock her in the bathroom, or flat out hide from her.

It took
me less than five minutes to get home. I loved this house. It was the house I grew up in with twenty-five acres of mostly pine trees and pastures. The house was a large two story with a great deck overlooking the lake. It was quiet, peaceful and outside of town. My mom and I moved in with my grandma after she and my Dad divorced when I was four. I loved my grandma, she stayed home with me while my mom went to school, then when she started working. Grandma was hilarious, and she was always willing to do whatever I wanted to do.

She died when I was
eight from a stroke, and I had missed her ever since. She left the house and some money to my mom, and a huge sum to me. She was actually loaded, coming from a wealthy family and marrying my grandpa, who was a surgeon.  He died before I was born, so I never met him, but I had been told all my life that I was just like him. 

As I walk
ed through the front door into the entry, my mom was walking out of the family room. 

“You
’re home early. I thought you would be a lot later than…” she looked at her watch, “eleven.”

“Yeah, well there were some assholes at the bar, and they caused some issues, anyway it got kinda hairy, so we left. I met up with Ethan Dalton, from down the road.  He came with Blaine. He ended up getting a black eye and a fat lip
, so I brought him home,” I told her.

“Wow, um
m, did you guys all fight, or was it just Ethan?” she asked while looking at me a little crossly.

“Well, I helped pull a guy off Ethan, and Blaine basically just laughed at another idiot who was trying to hit him.” I half laugh
ed as I remembered the dude bouncing from side to side. 

“You do realize you are twenty-three years old now, and fighting is frowned upon among adults
, don’t you? I mean, the first night you three are together and there is a fight?  Come on, Carter, you can’t get into trouble. I have to leave in the morning, and I don’t want to be worried about what you’re doing,” she said pointedly with her hands fisted at her hips.

“First of all
, Mom, I know how old I am. Second, it wasn’t as if I purposely chose to fight, and I wouldn’t call what I did fighting, anyway. Third, the guy who started shit was a total tool, he was hitting some chick and, well, Ethan kind of went ape shit on him, and I couldn’t just do nothing.” I said it all in one long breath, adamant in my reasoning. It was kind of humiliating to have her chastise me. I really just needed my own place.

“Rea
lly? Is the girl okay?” she asked, concerned.

“I don’t know, I didn’t see her. Nice of you to see if I’m okay before
you start harping on me,” I told her, not bothering to hide my irritation.

She walked up to me, cup
ped her hands on my cheeks. “Would you like me to examine you for injuries?” she smirked.

“God
, NO! Nothing happened to me.”

“Well, I’m glad everyone is al
l right, and I do worry because I love you. What did Phil say about Ethan’s face?”

Phil was
Ethan’s grandpa, but I had always addressed him as Mr. Dalton.

“I didn’t go in, but he was nervous for his sister to see him. I invited him over, but he said Mr. Dalton was leaving early in the morning and something that his sister couldn’t be left alone after dark. He invited me over for
the barbeque on Sunday.” I was hoping she would be able to elaborate on what Ethan said and why he said it. I was not sure why I cared, really, but I was interested.

My mom frowned as she lowered
her hands. “I think something terrible happened to that girl. Phil has kept a lot of what happened secret. They moved here a few years ago, after their Dad died. I think it must have been sudden, because they were holed up in that house for quite a while, and Taryn rarely goes out. She is such a sweet girl, beautiful little thing, too. Phil and Ethan are both very protective of her, though. I think something happened to her when her Dad died.”

“Oh, well
, that really sucks about their Dad, he was actually pretty cool. He was like a total rock star with video games.” I wasn’t sure what to say. I couldn’t imagine what could have happened to Taryn, it all just seemed so cryptic. 

“Well, you will have a good time on Sunday. I’m bummed I’ll be gone, which reminds me
: I put some casseroles in the freezer with instructions on how to cook them. I also stocked the fridge, and there’s brownies and ice cream. I won’t be back until a week from Monday,” she said, then pushed up to her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. 

“You know
, Mom, I do know how to cook, and go to the grocery store all on my own? But, I thank you for taking such good care of me.” I kissed her back on the cheek.

“Yeah, yeah. You are my boy, and always will be. Deal with it!”
she snapped, but I saw the smile tugging at her lips.

“Okay, Mom. You be safe
. I think I’m gonna head to bed,” I said as I made my way to the stairs.

“Goodnight
, Carter. I’ll call you later in the week. Love you,” she said as she walked back toward the family room.

“Yeah, love you too
,” I called out, heading up the stairs to my room—the same room I’d had since we moved to this house. It still had all the sticky glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, little sports trophies, and a few posters of Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and of course, Shaq. Basketball was my thing. Thankfully there was a full bed instead of my old twin, with a light blue comforter. My mom went way overboard on the blue. Everything was some shade of blue. Even the bathroom was blue.

Tomorrow, I promise
d myself, I was going to start looking for my own place. I had until September before I started my new job with the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife, so I had time.

Surprisingly
, I was tired. What a weird night, I couldn’t believe that shit happened. I texted Blaine to make sure he and Matt were fine. After I brushed my teeth, he had texted me back.

Yeah, dropped Matt off. Bitched whole way, we need to get him a
blow up doll or something. LOL.

Poor Matt, didn’t get to finish
the deed. Knowing him, he’d be holding a grudge for quite a while over that. I inwardly chuckled. I forewent a shower and stripped to my boxers before turning out the lights, and climbing into bed. It wasn’t too long before I was asleep.

Chapter 2-Taryn

It was Friday night, and as usual, I was at home. I had been toying with an idea for a while, but was afraid to approach this to Ethan and Grandpa. I needed to find the right time and the right way to tell them that I wanted my own place. I desperately wanted a life of my own. 

We moved to Elk Creek after I
recovered from being shot. After surgery and physical therapy, I was able to walk with a walker, then with a cane. It had been three years, and I still had a noticeable limp. Sometimes, the pain was unbearable, but I refused to take pain medication. I had a hard enough time keeping my wits about me—I didn’t need something else making me lose my mind.

If it w
ere just my hip, I don’t think Ethan and Grandpa would worry as much as they did. No, it was the rest of my issues that caused them the most concern. I began having panic attacks shortly after the “incident.” That was the word I preferred to use for that horrible night. Stupid things would bring them on, like being alone, darkness, loud noises, touches from behind, the words “bitch” or “fuck,” someone yelling or even sometimes just meeting new people. I mean, the list seemed endless. I was deathly afraid to go into any store—I couldn’t even make it to the doors without freaking out. Any kind of violence would set me into a tailspin of suffocation and black outs.

I started seeing a psychologist when I was seventeen
. To help me conquer my panic attacks, she tried to force me to walk into a store, which triggered an attack. My uncle was a physician, and he looked after me. He was just as bad as Ethan and Grandpa, for that matter, so was Aunt Mel, his wife.

Aunt Mel came to Portland right after the incident, and helped with all the funeral arrangements, police interviews, doctor appointments, and just about every other mundane task
that needed tending to. She had become kind of a pseudo mother to me, and I was grateful for her.

Grandpa made Ethan go back to school after the first six weeks, but since he was going to O
regon State University, he was able to drive home often. I’ve always felt like I stole his college experience, because he was consumed with my welfare, and making his life about me. He graduated, and began working for a structural engineering firm. It made me feel happy to know he was able to fulfill one of his dreams—I hadn’t held him back from that. But he couldn’t fully move on.

He refuse
d to leave me—he wouldn’t even get his own place. He has always blamed himself for what happened and made it his life’s mission to keep me safe.  Nonsense, it was all nonsense. None of us could continue living like this forever. I wanted to be able to attend college, too. I was nineteen, and all the college courses I was taking were online. Why? Because I was too much of a coward to face a crowded place like school.

I knew all these feelings were insane
. I told myself that they were crazy—that maybe I was crazy—but it didn’t matter. Once the panic hit me, I froze up. The air would leave my lungs, my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest, and if I didn’t pass out and pee myself, I retreated from the situation, back behind the protective walls of my home, the only place I really felt safe.

The
opening of the front door startled me away from my thoughts. I looked behind me and saw Ethan walking in.  I was surprised to see him, I knew he was going out with his friends tonight and I didn’t think he would be back so soon. 

“Hey
,” I called to him.

“Hey Tare, I think I’m going to go to
bed. See ya tomorrow?” He said this like he was asking me. His back was to me the whole time. Something was up with him.

“Ethan, what’s wrong?” I
asked as I got up from the couch and started to walk toward him. He heard my shuffling feet, and turned to look at me. I saw his face and gasped in horror, I couldn’t help it. His eye was swollen and turning purple, and blood coated his lip and chin.

“Tare, calm down, everything is fine,
” he said as he put his hands up as if he were talking to an armed psychopath. God, I couldn’t find my breath, maybe I was a psycho. I knew it was irrational, obviously he was home, and he was alone. But his beaten face scared me—images of him flashed through my panicked mind, and I wondered if someone was coming after us. Maybe he… Get a hold of yourself, Taryn!

“Are y-you al-al
l right?” I stammered out between wheezes. 

Ethan took an audible breath in, and walked closer to me, putting his hands on my shoulders

“I’m just fine, are you all right?” he asked.

“I-I’m getting th-there.”
I heard the words leave my mouth, yet I felt like I had no control over them. Again with the stammering. Deep breath in, long breath out. I counted my breaths… Ethan was okay. I kept this mantra going in my head, trying to get a grip.  God, I was pathetic.

Ethan pulled me into his arms and started
to rub my back. “You’re okay, sweetie, you’re doing good.”

It took
me several minutes before I could talk without stammering again. I looked up to his face and winced at his eye, which was almost swollen shut. His lip was fattened and I could see where it was split, but it was his eye that was the worst.

I pull
ed out of his embrace, and grabbed his hand.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up
,” I managed to say, and pulled him into the kitchen.  He didn’t say anything and just followed me, squeezing my hand.

I
dampened a wash cloth with warm water and wiped carefully at his lip and chin, as he held an ice pack to his eye. I wanted to know what happened, but was afraid he wouldn’t tell me. I decided to ask anyway.

“So, what happened?”

He let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure you want to know,” he said quietly. I gave him my best glare. He chuckled.

“Al
l right… we were at Bailey’s, talking and having a beer.” 

“Who’s we?”
  I interrupted while throwing the wash cloth in the sink.

“I went with Blaine and Matt. Carter Belmont, you might not remember him, but he met us there. He lives down the road, he used to come over when we were kids.” 

I nodded, because I did remember him. He was nice to me. Well, he was sometimes nice to me.

“Anyway, after we were there for a while some jerk started smacking his girlfriend, right there in front of ever
yone.” I could tell he was getting angry, and I grabbed his hand in an effort to calm him.

“I got p
issed off, and told him to quit fu— ah, to quit touching her.” He looked at me apologetically. “Then, he gets up in my face and pushes me, we start to go at it, one of his buddies grabs me from behind, so that he can get a couple of punches in. Then, Carter knocks him down with a jab to his side. To make it short, the other guys look like crap, and this is what I got for the effort.” He gave me a slight grin. “Carter drove me home, since he lives closest to us, and that’s it.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s all you got, and not arrested or something.”
I reprimanded.

“Yeah, me too.  No worries though, okay
?” he said with a concerned expression, like I was going to wig out again.

“No worries
,” I said with a smile, hoping to convince him that I was truly okay.

He
took the ice pack from his eye, and bent down to kiss my forehead. I had been playing in my head how I would broach the subject of moving out, but this was not the time. I was sure with all the shouting he would do, it would wake up Grandpa. I certainly didn’t want to set myself up for fighting the two of them at the same time.

“Since you’re okay and the cops aren’t going to haul you off, I think I’ll go to bed
,” I said with a smirk.

“Okay, just so you know
, I invited Carter over for the barbeque. He said he would come.”

“Okay, see ya in the morning
,” I said as I moved past him and headed down the hall to my room.

Blood, blood is everywhere.  I can’t seem to stop the blood.  I’m crying, no screaming, as dead eyes invade my vision. Lifeless eyes. Eyes that I know, eyes that I love. They are gone, never for me to see or love again. Hands, horrible hands grabbing me, pulling me away. I twist, fight, try to get away from them, but they are always stronger. Then I hear him, always him.“Stupid bitch, I’ll fucking kill you!”

“Tar
yn! Wake UP!” 

I felt
myself jerked out of the nightmare by Ethan, who had pulled me up from the bed into his arms and was lightly rocking me from side to side. “Shh, you’re okay now, nobody’s going to hurt you. I got you,” he crooned in my ear.

I felt
the tears start to slide down my cheeks as a sob escaped my lips. Unfortunately, this had become routine. Unless I knocked myself out with sleeping pills, the nightmares came, and even the pills didn’t guarantee they would stay away.

I grasp
ed him around the waist as I let the tears flood out of me. He just continued to rock me, telling me that I was fine. God, how I hated this. I loathed this dependent, sniveling, crazy person that didn’t have a modicum of strength or independence left in her. Maybe I was deluding myself, and I would never be able to live alone. The hope that had been flooding me earlier had now vanished.

I loosen
ed my hold on him, and tried to sit back. He reluctantly let go. The look of pity that I saw grace his face made me wince. 

“I can’t stand this, and I don’t want you coming in her
e every night anymore, either. I don’t need a babysitter,” I said spitefully. I knew I was being cruel, that he only cared and wanted to help me, but I couldn’t stand to see that look on his face.

“Too bad
,” was all he said, but I saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately I was heavy with remorse. I loved my brother, and I should have been grateful and not lashed out at him. None of this was his fault, and honestly, I wouldn’t have made it past the first month without him.

“I’m sorry
, Ethan, I didn’t mean it,” I quickly tried to take back my harsh words. I couldn’t look at him, so I looked at the bedspread, tracing the seams with my finger.

“Hey, look at me
,” he said softly. He put his hand over mine to stop the mindless tracing. I looked up to see him smiling at me, and gave a hesitant smile back.

“I will always be here for you, and things will get better. You have to believe that.”
He kissed my forehead and got up to leave the room.

“Ethan?”

He turned
around to face me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it…
and I love you,” I said, looking back down at the comforter.

“I love you
, too, Tare. You just have to hang in there, and keep working through this. It will get better, you’ll see. Now, try to get some sleep,” he said, then turned, leaving my room.

I look
ed over at the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was 6:22 a.m. I decided that I might as well get up and start my day. The only thing I had to look forward to was the cooking I was going to do for the barbeque tomorrow. I was grateful for that, as I had found a kind of refuge in the kitchen—I actually loved cooking. It gave my mind something else to focus on, and I reveled in the reprieve from my dreary thoughts.

After I showered, brushed, and dressed for the day
, I found my way downstairs to the kitchen.  On the counter was a yellow piece of paper with my name written on it.

Taryn,

I will be back around seven tonight. I already pulled all the meats out of the freezer, they just need to go in the marinade. The list of dishes you made is taped to the fridge, and remember that if this is
too much, just call Aunt Mel to help. If you need anything, call my cell.

Love you,

Grandpa

I mad
e my way to the refrigerator and pulled the list from the door: 

Macaroni
salad

Potato
salad

Pasta
salad

Blackberry cobbler

Cookies             

Corn on the cob

Green beans

Baked
beans

Okay, I might have gone overboard on what I thought I could accomplish by myself.  Feeling slightly overwhelmed with the amount of work I had ahead of me, I turned my iPod on and put in my earbuds. Listening to Snow Patrol, I got started by pulling out all of my ingredients and assembling them on the countertop.

After about an
hour, Creed was blaring in my ears, and Ethan walked into the kitchen, giving me a broad smile.  I pulled my earbuds out, smiling back to him. “Morning,” I said, wondering what exactly had him in such a great mood. The swelling to his eye had decreased, but a deep purple ring had taken hold, circling his eye. His lip looked normal with the exception of a small cut.

“Good morning, who you jamming to?” he asked.