Ruining You (31 page)

“Mornin’,” I answer as I walk to the
fridge, reaching for the O.J. and then a glass.

“How are you this morning?” he asks.

I look at him as I take a sip and
answer, “Good.” Ok, did my dad see Kane and me sleeping on the couch this
morning? Because if he did, that would be ridiculously awkward. Again, I’m not
down for letting either of my parents in on any public displays of affection,
and that includes sleeping.

“Agent Morris called and should be here
any minute. She needs to question you about yesterday,” my mother says looking
at me.

I realize that they are referring to
yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, thinking about the events that happened, or
almost happened, makes me sick; however, being held in Kane’s arms all night
long took some of the horror away.

“Your mother and I, along with Kane,
have decided that from now until we know he is safely behind bars, you need to
be with either Kane or I at all times. This is non-negotiable, Jay. Just so we
are clear.” My dad looks directly at me.

“Dad, I’ve done some really stupid
things these past couple of years. Trust me when I say I’ve come to see that,
and I’m trying to learn from my mistakes. I’ve known for a while that Bruce
Branch has some stupid issues with me.” I still can’t use words like “obsession.”
Words like that are just too creepy and too real. I see him begin to speak, but
I hold my hand up to stop him, “I know; I should have told you guys, but I
thought it was just me being paranoid, and I really thought he wasn’t crazy
enough to do anything to revoke his bond. I have no problem with what you are
telling me.”

He looks surprised at my confession and
seems to be weighing my words.

“Look, I need to get a shower before she
arrives. Now, if you both will excuse me,” I say, heading to foyer.

“Jay,” my dad calls behind me. 

Turning, I look back at him as his
cheeks redden.

“I’ve spoken with your mom, and I know
that you have been staying with Kane some nights.”

Damn it! Here comes the awkwardness.
Crossing my arms, I prepare myself for what he has to say as I talk myself down
from becoming defensive.

“As much as all of our actions have
resulted in you being treated like an adult, way beyond your years, you are
still my daughter. With the extenuating circumstances, I am going to ask Kane
to stay here if he wants,” my dad pauses, glaring at me as he continues, “in
the guest room, as a guest. I respect that young man, and I believe that he
respects me. So let’s keep it that way, shall we?”

“Yes, Sir.” My face flushes from a tad
bit of embarrassment, and I head to my room to get ready for Agent Morris. My
relationship with Kane is not going to be easy; he’s an adult, and, as much as
my age and parents say that I am too, it’s hard to identify barriers. That’s
something we have to work out for the future, but for right now, I want to keep
peace with those that I love.

After showering, I come downstairs and
hear everyone talking with Agent Morris in the kitchen.

“Hi, Jay,” she says, rising to her feet.
“We can talk here or alone if you would like.”

Both the male figures in the room stand
to voice their displeasure over the idea of being excluded.

“We can all talk here. If that’s okay?”
I ask, trying to pacify them. It must work because they both sit down.

I join Agent Morris as she sits at the
table. The questioning begins immediately, starting with easy queries then
moving on to more difficult subject matter. Basic questions evolve into harder
ones about who I thought was coming in the bathroom after me. Kane reaches over
and grasps my hand, squeezing tightly as my eyes travel to his. Love radiates
from them. 

“Jay, we questioned the attendants at
the movie theater, and he was confirmed to have bought the ticket, but once he
entered the movie theater, no one remembers him walking out. Unfortunately,
they don’t remember anyone in particular walking out, so we are stuck on not
having probable cause to revoke his bond. However, I was able to go back to my
supervisor and obtain funding to have his actions monitored with twenty-four
hour surveillance effective immediately. What this means for you is that he
will have a police officer following his every move, and if, at anytime, we
think that we have lost contact, you will be instantly notified. You shouldn’t
have to live like a prisoner in your own home in fear of him. Okay?”

I nod my head because it does make me
feel better to know that.

“I wish I could say that next week is
going to be easy, but you and I both know that it’s not. Remember that justice
is served by speaking up and exposing the truth, no matter the outcome. I’ll be
calling to check in with you between now and then, but you can call me anytime
if you need me,” she says as she stands.

“Thanks, Agent Morris,” I say, for once
meaning it. I might hate how she drove me to this point, but I know, with every
ounce of who I am, that testifying is right for me.

My dad asks to walk her out, and my
mother follows them both, listening to whatever my dad is saying. Kane and I
are left in the kitchen with him still gripping my hand tightly.

“We will get through this, and then, we
are going somewhere to let this shit go. That’s a promise.”

Leaning over, I bring my lips to his and
kiss them lightly before pulling back. “I love you, Kane.”

“Do you?” he asks, gazing into my eyes.

“Yes, like I’ve never loved anyone
before.” That is the truth. JT will always be my first love and the boy that
innocent girl loved with all of her heart. I think about “what if” all the
time. If JT would have lived, I would have tried my hardest to be who he
wanted, but I can be honest with myself now, and say that we wouldn’t have made
it. I don’t think he realized that the girl he loved died two years ago. If he
would have gotten to know the broken girl, I’m not sure he could have handled
it. I’m not sure I could have watched his fervent love fade.

He stands, pulling me to him and
enveloping me in his arms. Holding me tight, he says, “I could hold you in my
arms forever.”

Smiling into his chest, I’m not sure why
he is waiting to tell me his feelings, but again, I’m not going to rush him. I
do, however, long to hear it.

~~~~~~~

The next day, Eli shows up after school
with a different smile lighting his face. I can tell something has changed, so
I’m intrigued from the get go. I grin as he walks toward me.

“Spill,” I say because I can tell that
he wants to.

Beaming from ear to ear, he says, “I met
someone.”

Smiling back, I reply, “Really. Who?
When? Where? Details.”

“Actually at the mall. He was working in
one of the kiosks selling phone covers. We got to talking, and he asked me
out.”

Squeeeing because I can’t help it, I
grab his neck for a hug. “That is great. When?”

“Friday night, so I know we were
supposed to go see that new movie, but...rain check?”

“Of course! Don’t be crazy. Tell me all
about him.”

Eli tells me everything he knows about
him and their date plans. As he talks about this new guy, a perma-smile is
plastered to his face. Leaning over, I can’t help myself, and I kiss his cheek.

“What was that for?” he says, laughing.

“It’s for the guy who helped me find my
way because he was just as beautiful on the inside as the outside. He cared
enough for this lost and broken girl to be her friend and continue, even when
she didn’t deserve it. You should always be happy.” My voice breaks with
emotion.

“We both are finding our happiness,” he
says, reaching for me and pulling me into a one arm hug.

“Yes, we are. Actually, Molly said
something about going dancing this weekend. I need to get out one more time
before everything starts up next week. I’m not sure how the media is going to
react with the trial, so I’m planning on living it up a little this weekend. I
know dancing is not your thing, but if you want to plan to meet up, I’d love to
meet him.”

“Sure, just text me.”

“And,” I pause, “Sunday is JT’s
birthday. I guess I’ll take flowers or something to his grave.”

“It will be tough. I’ve been there. Do
whatever brings you peace about it. Okay?”

I nod my head saying, “Yeah.”

We spent the rest of the afternoon and
evening hanging out, only going out for some burgers. It was the first time I’ve
been out that I didn’t feel like someone was watching me. I don’t know if it
was coincidence or not, but knowing that someone was watching his every move
made me feel better. Actually, it made me feel immensely safer.

~~~~~~~

It’s Saturday night, and everyone is
meeting in an hour at O’Malley’s bar downtown. O’Malley’s used to be my safe
place, and I frequented there a great deal the past two years. Tonight, we are
only making good memories, and Jill, the bartender who I have been friends with
for years, has been waiting to see me. Molly and Reed are picking up Cal on
their way. Eli can’t make it, so we agree to make plans for sometime after the
trial ends.

With everyone feeling that the immediate
threat of Bruce Branch has been taken care of, Kane returned home. He still
sleeps over when he stays late, but I am staying at his house tonight because
it’s closer, and I figured we would be out late anyway. Walking through the
foyer, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.

My dark jeans are skin tight, and the
black off-the-shoulder shirt is super sexy. Both are matched with a pair of
black heeled boots, and I’m ready for a night out. Cradled in my hand is the
locket that Kane gave me. With JT’s birthday tomorrow, it only feels
appropriate to wear it. I slip the necklace around my neck, letting it fall
against my heart. Opening the locket, I see his two pictures staring back at
me, smiling. I can’t say that he would be happy for me to be with Kane, because
he would want me with him, but I know he would want me happy overall.  A soft
smile settles on my face as I close it back.

Watching Kane pull up in the driveway
through the window, I grab my overnight bag and leave, having already said
goodbye to my parents for the night. He smiles through the windshield as he
spots me. Opening the passenger side door before he can, I throw my bags in and
sit down. I lean over the center console and kiss him, deepening the moment
with my tongue. Pulling back, he grins at me and puts the car in reverse to
head downtown.

“You look hot, Jay,” he says to me.

Noting that he has on a long-sleeve blue
t-shirt and heavily worn jeans, my smile grows. There is something sexy about a
man dressed comfortably. “Mmmm…I’m not the only one.”

His free hand reaches for mine, lacing
our fingers together as he drives. “My house tonight? Right?” he asks, glancing
over at me.

“All yours.”

His grin overtakes his face, and I melt.
I hope I always have this reaction.

Arriving, we park and look around to see
if Reed is here yet, but we don’t see his car. Kane used to bartend here, but
even before that, I was a regular. Between the two of us, we pretty much know
everyone, so we decide to head in and mingle with old friends. The place is
packed, and Coldplay is blaring through the speakers.

“Oh my goodness, look what the cat
dragged in. Get over here, baby girl!” Jill yells from the bar.

She used to be my partner in crime when
I trolled for guys, but she was also my only confidant for a long time.
Smiling, I wave at her, and Kane grabs my hand as we walk over.

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite
people, together finally,” she states as we near the bar.

Kane and I look at each other in bliss
before turning back to her. Leaning over the bar, I give her a hug. “Hey, Jill.
You look great.” She always has.

“Thanks, and so do you. In fact, better
than I remember. This hottie must be rubbing off on you,” she says jokingly
pointing her thumb at Kane.

“No, I think it’s the other way around,”
Kane replies as he turns and kisses me.

My knees turn to jelly, and I’m glad a
stool is open because I need to sit. Kane’s lips follow me down, not wanting to
stop.

“Whew, that is hot as hell,” Jill
comments.

With one last nip at my lips, he pulls
back and takes a seat on the open bar stool beside mine.

“What can I get you both to drink?”

Kane orders a beer, and I order a Diet
Coke. I notice that Jill smiles at my order, but she doesn’t say anything. I’ve
always had a fake I.D., and I’ve used it to drink probably a little too much.
My parents confiscated it at some point, but I don’t really miss it. I don’t
need to drink to wash the pain away anymore. Don’t get me wrong though. As I
told my therapist, I like a buzz just as much as the next girl, but it’s
different now. Tonight, I want to be lucid, not for the partying, but for when
Kane takes me to his bed.