Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance (38 page)

I took my time and went over her body, not saying much to her but directing her to move around so I could get all of her.

I left her there to grab her towel and then helped her out. I wrapped a towel around her and carried her into the bedroom. As I sat her down on the bed, she looked at the blanket.

I asked, “This blanket is yours, right?”

She nodded absentmindedly, and I continued to get her dressed.

For the rest of the night, we sat on the living room couch. We had a little bit of lasagna. Actually, it was Maxine who had a little bit. I devoured two large servings, and we both went through a bottle of rosé I bought earlier today. Maxine attempted to keep her distance from me.

She said, “Mason, I’m okay now, if you need to go.”

I looked over at her. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Really, Mason, I know it’s unfair to keep you here, so if you need…”

“Hey,” I interrupted her. “Listen to me. There is no place I’d rather be than right here with you, understand?” She nodded without conviction, and I added, “Now, get your sexy ass over here.”

She slowly moved closer to me. I put my arm around her, and I nestled her underneath my arm.

I kissed her head, “There
;
that’s better.”

“Thank you, Mason,” she replied.

“It’s no problem.”

Maxine got quiet again.

Then I heard her whisper, “This is hard, Mason.” She moved back from me and looked me in my eyes. “I don’t think I can do this. I mean, I keep asking God what I had done to have bad things happen to me. Why did he have to take her away from me? What did I do that was so awful?”

I touched her face.

“Baby, you did nothing wrong. Life just fucking sucks.”

She laughed.

“Thank you, Socrates. You are extremely profound.”

I shrugged, glad to hear her joke.

“It’s one of my many talents.” She shook her head, and I continued, “Listen angel, I don’t have all the answers. But I do know how it feels to lose someone close to you. I also know how it feels to be helpless. It does suck, and it doesn’t get easier with time. Every day, I miss the hell out of Alex. I want to dial his number. I expect to hear his voice. But I can’t. That fucks with me, especially since I’m such a control freak. But what I am thankful for is that I still get to be surrounded by the loved ones I do have. Those are the people that care about me the most. Before you say anything, you are definitely in that category. It’s just that by the time I realized I needed to be thankful, I felt like I was at a point of no return. I couldn’t go back because I was afraid of hurting you. I didn’t want that. I know it wasn’t my place to make that decision for you, but it’s something that I felt I needed to do.”

I moved closer to her, putting my hand to the back of her neck.

“But no matter what the past brought, I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

I kissed her possessively, letting her know who she belonged to. When we parted, she looked at me panting.

I said huskily, “Now pick what movie you want to watch.”

I pulled her back to me, and we watched the latest die hard movie. I wasn’t concentrating on the movie. Instead, I was thinking about what I needed to do in order to assure Maxine I was here to stay. I needed to decide if I wanted to take the risk of hurting her or be miserable all my life.

My phone vibrate, and I reached for it, keeping Maxine resting her head on my chest.

“What’s up?” I said to Roland.

“Shaw wants to speak to Max.”

I paused a second. I knew Roland would make sure the call couldn’t be traced while tracking where Shaw was calling from, so it would be safe.

“Okay, hold on.”

“Angel, your father wants to talk to you.”

“My father? Why is he calling on your phone?”

“It doesn’t matter at the moment. Just tell me if you want to speak to him or not.”

She looked in my eyes and saw no other answers would be given to her on the matter, so she said, “Yes.”

I put the phone back to my ear.

“Patch him through.”

Then I handed the phone to her, and I got up to give her some privacy. I put our wine glasses and our plates in the dishwasher and started it. The sucker was so freaking loud. I wasn’t able to hear myself think much less to eavesdrop on her conversation. The sooner I get her out of this apartment and into my place, the better.

When I came back, she handed me my phone.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Since when did you and my father become buddies?”

“I told you we were going to have a discussion about you and your safety, and we did that.”

“Humph. I wonder how that conversation went.”

She eyed me suspiciously.

I shrugged.

“He’s still alive, so I think it went very well…considering.”

She shook her head. “You are a piece of work, you know that?”

I smiled. “I am that, among other things.”

I leaned in closer—looking at her beautiful lips and wanting to feel them again—when my phone buzzed. I looked down and saw it was Diane. Max saw it too, and she moved back from me.

“Are you going to get that?” she asked

I sighed and, as much as I wanted to send her to voicemail, I answered.

“Are you still there?”

I looked at Max as I spoke, seeing the hesitation and regret in her eyes.

“When are you coming home?” Diane asked me, as if I just didn’t ask her a question.

“Soon,” was all I said.

If it was up to me, I wouldn’t ever go home. But I knew by the look in Max’s eyes that wouldn’t be the case.

“Shall I expect you tonight?”

The sound in her voice made me break my gaze from Max.

“Probably not, but schedule some time on my calendar with Sara tomorrow…sooner rather than later. We need to take in a meeting.”

She was quiet on the phone.

Then finally she said, “That’s fine,” and she hung up.

Max had gotten up from the couch while I was on the phone.

When I hung up, she said, “Mason, you have been unbelievable to me. I’m so grateful for you, really. But you should really get home.”

I shook my head.

“Nope, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Mace, you have a fiancé, for Christ sake. You are going to be married soon. Even though I didn’t care about her yesterday when you were fucking my brains out, I’m feeling some type of way now. I mean, I can chalk that up to grief. But now—now that I’ve had time to think—it was wrong of me to ask you to do what you did.”

I stood while she babbled. When I got close to her, she opened her door and held it open for me.

“You should go, Mason… Really.”

“I’m not leaving you alone.”

She sighed.

“I’ll be fine, really. If I feel like I’m not, I can call someone. I can call Cory.”

I frowned and snatched the door from her grasp. I closed it and locked it with one hand and pulled her closer to me with my other.

“You will not call anyone, especially Cory.”

“Mace, really I…”

“No, you listen to me, Allura. I’m not going anywhere, so you’ll have to get used to it. And about the mind-blowing sex we had, it has nothing to do with Diane, but everything to do with you and me. I said before that what we had isn’t over, and it’s not.”

She folded her arms in front of her and moved back from me.

“Well, I have to disagree with you on you and I being over. We are. But if you are hell bent on staying here with me, the couch is yours.”

She turned and stomped down the hall. I went through the house and locked windows and doors. Then I turned off all the lights. When I walked in her room, she turned to me.

“Did you hear what I said?”

I pulled off my t-shirt. “I sure did, and you must have lost your mind if you think I’m sleeping on the couch with your body sleeping this close to me.”

“Fine. Then I’ll sleep on the couch.”

She stormed past me, but I caught her by her waist.

“The hell you are. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. I won’t fucking like it, but I’ll keep my hands off.”

I turned from her and went in the bathroom. If I was going to keep my word, I needed to not watch her get undressed. This was going to be a long and painful night.

I woke up with a huge headache. But I dare not move. The feeling of having strong arms around me holding me was something I had missed for so long. The body that’s attached to the arms was something I’ve dreamed about ever since he left me. I’m a weak woman and a home wrecker. But damn it, he makes me feel so good and wanted and desired.

All I think about doing is having him on top of me or me on top of him or sideways or behind me. I think about his smile, his laugh, his touch, his kiss, and his blessed tongue.
Oh my,
I said to myself as I felt the heat start to rise in me. I felt throbbing starting between my legs, but I couldn’t move them. They were splayed over Mason’s leg. If I moved them, he might notice. I tried to concentrate on his breathing to make sure he was still asleep. Deep rhythm from his heart told me he had to be still in deep sleep, so I secretly tried to close them. But the movement was caught by Mason. 

“If you want me to make you feel good, all you have to do is ask,” he said in a graveled, sleepy voice.

How the hell did he know? He turned to lay me on my back and moved his hands in between my legs. God, I shouldn’t let him do this to me.

‘Mmmm,’ I found myself saying inwardly as his fingers found my sex.

He started kissing my neck, as he fondled my clit very lightly, which was driving me crazy. He always found a way to make me lose my mind with just a simple and delicate touch.

“Mason,” I groaned uncontrollably, mind you.

But that seemed to encourage him.

“Your pussy feels so good, baby. Just relax and let me take care of you.”

So call me a whore, a home wrecker, whatever you want…but I lay back and let this man take me to places only he could. I’ll just feel guilty about it later. Maybe if I can be strong enough, I can prevent this from happening.

“Holy shit, Mason!”

“I know, baby.”

Cocky bastard.

When I got out of the shower, he still had a satisfied smirk on his face. I tried to ignore him. But no matter what, he has some type of effect on me. I sat at the island and watched as he made me breakfast. I turned my head and looked at that door to Kat’s room. I haven’t been in there since I took her to the hospital, and I really don’t want to go in there at all.

Mason placed eggs and bacon in front of me and went to grab two pieces of toast from the toaster.

“Don’t worry about that yet, okay? Whenever you’re ready, I’ll go in there with you.”

I stared at him blankly. How and the hell does he do that? He placed the toast on my plate and then went to get me a glass of orange juice. I thanked him and tried to get something down my throat.

“I have a few errands to run today, but I plan to leave you in capable hands.”

He made himself a plate and sat next to me at the island.

“Mason, we really need to talk.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I agree. I’ve pretty much went commando in you three times now.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “I’m not worried about that.”

His eyes grew wide. “You’re not?”

“No…I mean, I am…but that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

“You don’t want to talk about us having unprotected sex?” He mused.

I shook my head in frustration. “Mason, you’re confusing me, okay? Yes, I want to talk about us having unprotected sex and that we shouldn’t do it again; unprotected or not. But we need to really talk.”

He watched me for a second while we ate.

Finally, he said, “I agree we need to talk, Allura, and we will. There are just a few things I have to deal with first, namely your father and him staying away from you to keep you safe. And well, we need to make sure Kat gets a proper home-going, you know? So yes, while I agree we need to talk, I just don’t think it’s the right time.”

Confused, I said, “What? Wait, what do you mean keep me safe? Should I be worried?”

He wouldn’t answer me. He just started eating the food on my plate. I barely ate anything. For some reason, my throat wouldn’t let anything down. I touched his arm.

“Mason, should I be worried?”

He stood and put the plates in the sink. When he turned back to me, there was no expression on his face. That told me I had a lot to be worried about.

“Listen Max, I know I’ve fucked up with you. I don’t have any right to ask you this. But I’m an asshole, so I’m going to ask anyway. I need for you to trust me.”

“Mason…” I started, but he cut me off with a wave of his hand.

He moved in front of me and lightly touched my cheek with his finger. He moved from the side of my face down to my chin, sending chills all through my body.

He said firmly, “I would never let any harm come to you, I’d give my life before I let that happen. So, I need you to trust that I will do what I say. I will not let anything happen to you, okay?”

Okay, I’m officially speechless. All I could do is nod my head. He leaned in and placed a light kiss to my lips. He then left the room, leaving me wanting more than just his lips on me. I shook my head. This is ridiculous. It’s just like it was when we were together. I couldn’t get enough of him then, and I can’t now.

I went to sit on the couch, trying to get my senses back in order, when my mind drifted back to the day I lost my best friend. We were just sitting on this very couch watching TV. Kat had been asleep off and on all day. She had a headache, and she was pregnant, so sleep was her best friend right now. It was one moment when she just sat up and looked at me.

She said simply, “I love you. You have been more than just a friend to me—you’re a sister. I’m just so glad you’re here.”

She hugged me, and I just told her I loved her too and that I was glad I was here too. She meant the world to me and, when I think back, I just hoped she knew that.

It was seconds after she got up to use the restroom that I heard her fall. I got up, and she was lying in the hallway by my bedroom. I freaked out and went to her, and she just looked at me and her eyes closed. I tried to do CPR and talk to 911 at the same time. When they arrived, and I told them I was a nurse, I helped as much as they needed me to. But by the time we got to the hospital, she was gone.

I couldn’t believe it. I demanded to see her. I wanted to check her myself, but they wouldn’t let me. Cory came shortly after, and he had to hold me. But it wasn’t him who I wanted. I had called Mason and left a message on my way to the hospital. I called him many times after that, and the phone went right to voicemail. It was that moment that I felt like I was all alone. I had no one else I could hold on to, and I panicked.

Everything seemed like an out of body experience. Everyone around me tried to get to me. AB was the only one that could reach me somewhat, as he was the one to get me to the car and into the apartment. I felt so bad for him that I kept telling him how sorry I was that I wasn’t able to save her. He kept telling me it was okay, but I wouldn’t listen. I still feel that way. What good is all the training I went through if I couldn’t save her or the baby?

Cory, bless his heart, tried his best to get me to eat or talk. Hell, finally he just wanted me to cry. I hadn’t expressed any type of emotion since I tried to call Mason. When I felt him in my room, it was the first time I felt the walls crumbling around me. When I felt his lips on my shoulders and his arms around me, I finally let go. But I couldn’t control anything I was feeling. I wanted him to make all my pain go away, and he did without a second thought. I don’t know how I’m going to make it without Kat. She’s been in my life for so long that calling her and seeing her were as normal and easy as breathing.

Granted I may have been on the east coast and her here, but I still talked to her every day. We had so many plans that we wanted to do together and things we wanted to accomplish. And now what do I have? I started to feel the emotions creeping up, and I wondered if I would ever heal from this.

I wiped my eyes, as I heard Mason come back into the living room looking like walking sex. He wore a gray suit with a white button down shirt and a gray, black, and red tie. His hair fell wherever it wanted on his head, which made me want to run my hands all through his hair.

Like I said, walking sex.

He was on his phone, and he smiled at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking…
Bastard
.

When he disconnected his call, he kept smiling at me.

“So, I have a few errands to run, and I’m not sure how long it will take. In the meantime, I’ve arranged for you to not be alone while I’m gone.” He opened my door, and I looked out expectantly. He said with a smug grin, “You can thank me later.”

I then heard high heels tapping on concrete. Then my eyes fell on the faces of the closest friends I now have left—Mimi and Tiny. I jumped to my feet and jumped in Mimi’s arms, wrapping my legs around her. She barely could hold me up, but she didn’t let go. I cried and held on tight, and she just rocked me and stroked my back.

I barely heard Tiny say, “Don’t worry big guy. We got our girl. You go and handle your business.”

I felt Mason kiss my head and tell me he would call me later. Then I heard the door close. I finally let Mimi go, and I hugged Tiny for almost just as long.

“Come on girl. It’s okay. You are definitely not alone in this. We’re here,” Mimi told me.

I let Tiny go, but I held both her and Mimi’s hands and guided my friends to the couch.

“How did you get here?”

“Your boy wonder called us and told us what happened. Then he bought us tickets so you wouldn’t be alone.”

I was shocked. “He did?”

Mimi nodded. “Yes, he did.”

I looked at the door and said, “I’ll be right back.”

I opened the door and ran outside and down the steps as fast as I could. I didn’t care that I was in a tank top and short shorts with no shoes. I ran down the steps, and I saw him still standing by his car. I called his name, and he turned around. I ran to him, still shoeless, and jumped in his arms. He didn’t buckle under my weight like Mimi did. He caught me in mid-air and held me close to him. I hugged him tight, and I swear I didn’t want to let go. I loved this man so much that I wanted to show him how much. So I kissed him with as much feeling as I could in order to show him everything I was feeling, leaving no doubt in him or me.

I held his head in my hands, and he allowed me to control the kiss. When I finally pulled away from him, he was breathing very heavily. He stared at me, and I knew he wanted to take me back upstairs and have his way with me. I rubbed his face softly and continued to look in his beautiful blue eyes.

“Promise me that we will talk.”

He nodded his head, “I promise you, baby, we will definitely talk about everything. Just give me some time, okay?”

I nodded. “Thank you, Mason.”

He kissed me and said, “I’d do anything for you, Maxine. You don’t have to thank me.”

We didn’t say anything else as he held me.

Finally he said, “I will call you later today, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay, but please make sure that I see you sooner rather than later.”

“Without a doubt, I will be back here.”

I kissed him again, and I walked back into my apartment.

For the next few hours, me and the girls went through two bottles of wine, the rest of the lasagna from last night, and a lot of tissue. I couldn’t believe Mason called Mimi and Tiny and flew them here for me. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. They first asked me how I was doing, and I told them everything. I started with the trip to the beach and about how I found out Mason was getting married. Then I told him about the night we shared, what happened when I got home, and what happened to Kat. I even gave them the rundown of the last time I was home and how I was kidnapped. But I didn’t go into detail of what happened to me in South America. That is something that I would never share with anyone ever again.

Cory made his way over to the apartment, and we talked about the funeral arrangements. His mom was still alive, but Cory and I wanted to do this on our own. We wanted to make sure Kat’s home-going was the best tribute to her life that was possible. Who better to make that happen than us?

I felt so much better now that Mimi and Tiny were here. They supported me in anything I needed. Tiny cooked for me and Mimi did everything else. I’ve felt so blessed to have them here I wanted to never let them go. Mason texted me during the day asking if I was okay. He told me he was still handling business. But he told me he would come and see me even if it was for a little while.

I talked Mimi and Tiny into staying with me. I gave up my room to them, and I slept in Kat’s bed. It felt strange smelling her scent on her pillows. I thought I would be able to handle it, but it was that moment that Mason called me.

“Hey you,” I said quietly, trying not to give away how I was feeling, but he didn’t bite.

“You okay, baby?”

I sighed. “I guess so. I just miss her badly.” I took a deep breath and added, “And I wish you were here.”

“You do? Well then open up your door and let me in.”

I sprang up from Kat’s bed and went to my front door. Cory was passed out on the couch. When I opened the door, Mason was standing there in jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled him inside, guided him to Kat’s room, and closed the door.