Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance (17 page)

I barely recognized my voice. It was so hoarse.

“I’m sure that I’ve missed you. I’m sure that these past few days have been hell without you. I’m sure there’s no other woman I would rather be with than you. And I’m sure you have officially ruined me.”

I smiled for the first time in days.

“And you ruined me,” I said back to him.

He pulled me to him for the sweetest kiss I had ever felt. My toes curled as he softly caressed my lips with his. He didn’t deepen the kiss. He didn’t make it lustful. It was just full of promises that he didn’t say with words. He laid us down onto the bed and pulled the covers over us both. He kissed the top of my head.

“Go to sleep, Allura. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

I snuggled closer to him. He pulled me tight into his side, being mindful of my ribs. I closed my eyes, thinking about the idea of him and me. Could I be enough for him? Could I love him the way he deserved? I knew the answers were yes. I just hoped he would let me.

The next few days, he took care of me. He helped me shower, trying not to wince at the sight of my bruised ribs and face. He catered to me and fed me. He drove me back and forth to school, my apartment, and his apartment.

Since he had two fights on Saturday, Lou told the officials he would be taking off this weekend. The bruise on my face was gone by then, but my ribs still hurt a little.

That Saturday night, Mason cooked me dinner with candles lit all around the living room. We sat on the floor picnic-style. He fed me as I laid my legs across his and my back to the wall. He had music playing in the background. For some of the songs, I sang to him; sometimes he even sang to me. I was shocked that he had a fantastic voice. It was a soulful and rich sounding voice that, to be quite honest, made me want him.

Yup, even more than I already did.

He hasn’t asked me about what happened to me that day. I think some of the reason he didn’t ask had to do with him getting angry all over again, and the other part was that he was waiting for me. We were sitting on the floor, laughing and singing to each other, as he fed me a great-tasting chocolate cheesecake that was heavenly. I tilted my head and watched as he reached for his plate to spear me another piece of heaven. When he looked up at me, he smiled.

“What, are you full?”

I shook my head. I crawled over to him and brought my lips to his for a much-needed kiss. I moved the cheesecake from his lap and replaced it with my body. He hasn’t touched me for almost two weeks, and I was fainting for him. I touched his cheeks with my hands to deepen the kiss. When I rotated my hips in his lap, he groaned and pulled me closer to him.

Our kiss became full of want and desire and need. I missed his lips on me. I think he felt the same way because he broke the kiss to kiss my neck. I fisted his hair that was growing quite long.

“Oh, Mason,” I moaned into his neck. “I want you.”

“You sure you can handle it?” he pulled back to ask me.

I smiled.

“Have I ever not handled you?”

He smiled back.

“Well, that’s true.”

“I don’t care either way, Mace. I just know I want you,” I admitted.

He looked in my eyes then smiled broader. He wrapped my legs firmly around him, and he stood. He carried me over to the door to check the lock, set the alarm, and blew out the candles. When we walked up the steps and got to his room, he laid me down on the bed. Then he slowly and carefully reconnected his tongue with my body.

He paid heavy attention to my needing nipples as they hardened before he even touched me. I was panting by the time he began kissing down my chest to my stomach, being careful of the fading bruise. When he got to my clit, he expertly reminded me how good he made me feel with just a flicker of his tongue.

I grinded on his face, as he spread me open further. When I felt I was about to explode, he sucked my clit. I called out his name and then winced. He stopped and backed away from me cautiously.

“Baby, are you sure you’re ready?”

I could see how nervous he was, but I was beyond caring about pain. The pain and the throbbing between my legs were worse than how my ribs felt. I decide to tease him a little to jump-start him. I slowly ran my hand down my breast to my stomach. I then moved further down until I reached my swollen clit. I began to move my hips and play with myself while he watched.

“Shit, baby. What the fuck?”

I watched him as I pleasured myself in front of him, and just the look on his face turned me on. I took my other hand, wet my fingers, and played with my nipple at the same time.

“Baby, why are you?”

He grabbed the bedpost, and I focused on the whites of his knuckles as he watched me. He licked his lips hungrily, and I knew I had him. I started panting faster and moving my hips faster as I saw him absentmindedly grab his dick and begin to stroke himself.

“Mason…Oh damn, baby. I’m going to come without you…Oh, God.”

Suddenly he reached my hand to stop me. He reached next to me and rolled a condom on really quickly as I squirmed in anticipation.

He growled as he pushed inside me, “You will not come without me, ever. You hear me? Tell me this pussy is mine.”

He dominated me right then, and I couldn’t talk as he commanded me. He stroked me hard and deep, grabbing my legs and thrusting them over his shoulders. He moved his hips expertly, and I felt my release coming.

“Mason,” I called his name, as the feeling was coming over me again, but then he stopped.

“Look at me, Allura, when you come. You hear me? Don’t you fucking close your eyes. You want this? You got it, baby. Tell me it’s mine. Tell me you’re mine, or I’m stopping.”

“Mason,” I whined as I felt him pick up speed again. “Oh yes, baby… Right there…Fuck!”

He then stopped again, and I growled. He chuckled and looked at me.

He said, “What the fuck did I say, Allura? Tell me.”

He picked up speed, and he hit my g-spot. I felt no pain as I told him exactly what I was feeling.

“Oh God, Mason. This is all yours, baby. Nobody else’s… Oh please, baby.
Please
.”

“You belong to me, you hear me? Open your fucking eyes, baby, and tell me.”

I nodded frantically.

“Yes, baby. I’m all yours. Nobody else’s. You’ve spoiled me… Baby, oh…”

He pounded me relentlessly and with control and dominance.

I was helpless as he then pulled out and told me, “Face down and ass up, baby.”

I moved quickly, just to feel him inside me again.

“That’s right, baby. I’m molding this pussy just for my dick. This pussy will only fit me.”

He then smacked my ass and took over my body. I think I passed out, but he woke me back up by kissing me from the back of my neck to my ass. I moaned in approval to what he was doing.

“Turn around, baby. I want to make love to you,” he said softly in my ear.

I turned around slowly, while he raised up. When I met his gaze, he smiled shyly. ‘Holy Shit.’

“Do you trust me?”

I didn’t hesitate.

“Yes.”

“Then let me show you how much you mean to me.”

I fucking loved this woman. I wanted to show her how much, starting right now this fucking moment. I started by kissing the fuck out of her
slowly
. Our tongues danced slowly with each other’s, as I caressed her body underneath me. I took my time, like I always did. But when I finally entered her, I could tell the feeling between her legs was different than even earlier than before.

I moved slowly in her, and she moved with me stroke for stroke. I pulled out slowly to the tip of my dick. Then I pushed her back in, just to make sure I penetrated her as deep as I could. I wanted to feel every part of her. I desperately needed it.

“Keep your eyes on me, baby,” I told her softly, and she obeyed. “Damn, you’re so beautiful, baby.
So beautiful
.”

That’s all I could say, as my forehead touched hers, and I got lost inside her. I made love to her as long as I could. I kept switching positions, but I made sure I never took my eyes off her. When we both climaxed together, I swear it was the best feeling I had ever had. She has me by the fucking balls, and I’m scared as fuck. I felt her shiver slightly as I held her.

“Are you okay?” I whispered.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

One thing about this woman, she’s never quiet. I probably freaked her out by what I had just done. Hell, I was freaked out myself.

I sat up and went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I decided to start the bath for us both and went back to the bed. She had her eyes closed, so I whispered in her ear.

“Hey, let’s go get cleaned up.”

I helped her up and pulled her with me. I tried not to look at her body, especially the bruise. Just seeing it reminds me what happened, and I feel the darkness rising again.

It took a lot to come out of the darkness this time. It was something so strong that kept me. To be honest, I was starting to enjoy it. When I heard Max scream for me, I thought he was here. Then when I saw her drenched with sweat, her hoarse screams pushed all darkness away. She looked terrified, as if Travis was right in front of her. I reached for her, and she coiled away from me, scampering away, as if I was actually Travis.

She was in full panic mode. It took a lot to get her to calm down, but I did it. I haven’t let her out of my sight, except for school.

“Come on.”

I helped her in the tub and then went to get towels for us both. She looked surprised as I signaled for her to scoot up, so I could get in behind her. I shifted, and she waited until I was comfortable before she fell back against me. I kissed the top of her head.

“How does this feel?”

“Mmmm, it feels great. Thanks,” she told me.

I intertwined my fingers with hers and brought her hand to my lips.

“Good,” was all I could say.

We remained quiet for a spell before she told me, “Did I ever tell you I took self-defense classes when I was young?”

“No, you haven’t. How old were you?”

“Thirteen. My pops didn’t sleep well at night until I knew how to defend myself. My father failed miserably at being a dad. He was cool for a while after my mom left. I mean for years, it was just me and him. Most nights were spent with my best friend, Kat, and her mom. But my dad stayed a part of my life until Bunny came around.”

I chuckled.

“Bunny? Was that her real name?”

I don’t know what’s up with people and the horrible nicknames they call themselves.

“You know, I have no clue. That was just what she told me to call her. Anyway, when she got there, my father started to change. Or maybe he was changing before she got there. I can’t quite remember. But I knew the first day she came to live with us that I was in hell.”

“Was she abusive?”

‘Please, say no.’

“No, she wasn’t physically abusive. But mentally she was. She would work me to death, though. I cooked and cleaned for both of them. One good thing, though, is that I had Kat and her mom. That is, until they moved away. When they did, I had no choice but to be around Bunny all day, every day. That summer after my thirteenth birthday, my dad’s father came to visit. It was the first time I had ever met the man. He was big and tall like my father, but his eyes were much harder. He was scary, even. He bullied my father around and made him do things around the house that he normally wouldn’t do. He hated Bunny. He bullied her, too. I just sat back and enjoyed it. What he did for me, though, was something that no one had done since I was born: he took care of me.”

“He bought me expensive clothes, shoes, the latest purses. I mean, he spoiled me rotten. He made sure I ate breakfast, had money for lunch, and that I ate a proper dinner that I didn’t have to cook. When I was thirteen, I was a very shapely girl. My breasts were huge, and I didn’t have proper bras. So guess who took care of that."

“Your pops.”

I laughed. “Yup, my pops.”

“Is that when you came to live with him? He couldn’t resist your undeniable beauty?” I asked her.

“No, unfortunately, he couldn’t take me with him when he left. He tried, though. But my father was—or rather, still is—a vindictive bastard. At the end of the summer, my pops told me he had to leave. He wanted to take me, but my father placed a restraining order against him. So if he took me without my father’s consent, it would be kidnapping. To be honest, I don’t think my father would have cared either way. But Bunny, I think, talked him into keeping me. She wanted a slave. She hated me. She did everything she could to make me feel horrible about myself and my looks. My pops made me feel beautiful. But when he left, so did that feeling. He did, however, buy me a cell phone. He told me to call one particular number in the phone if I was ever in trouble, and he couldn’t get to me.”

“I never thought I would have to use that number. I mean, I called pops all the time. I even spoke to my grandmother, who I also had never met. They were great. My pops would help me study when I needed help. He was amazing to me. The day I started to fear for my safety was when Bunny’s brother came to live with us. I didn’t remember his name, really. But he was very creepy looking—big guy, overweight, dirty—and the way he used to look at me was terrifying.”

She shivered, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her tighter.

“I told my pops about him, and do you know what’s weird? One day I came home from school, and there was a lock on my bedroom door. It was a door handle type lock, but it wasn’t there before. I also think pops spoke to my dad. Suddenly, Bunny would always be home when her brother was there. But this one day she got mad at my dad and left the house. I was alone, of course, so I took a shower to get ready for school. When I got out, her brother was there, and Bunny was not.”

I groaned.

“Do I really want to hear the rest of this?”

“It’s up to you,” she told me.

I really thought about it before I answered. Do I want to be pissed off again, ready to kill someone else?

“Alright, tell me,” I said, finally.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I want to know everything. Even the bad shit. So go ahead.”

I felt her look up at me, but I had my eyes closed. I was bracing for what she was about to tell me.

“Well, I don’t remember everything he said to me. But he called me a tease and told me I wanted him; shit like that. Well, I quickly kicked him in the balls and ran for my room. I closed and locked the door. Then I pushed my dresser up against the door to be sure to keep him out. My door was flimsy, so I knew the lock wouldn’t keep him out forever. And, man, did he want in my room.”

“Did you call the number your pops gave you?”

“Not right away. I was scared, so I called my pops. I was screaming and crying in the phone, telling him he was coming to get me. I begged him to help me. I thought he would be yelling in the phone, but he had a quiet calm to his voice. He just told me to hang up, call the number that was in my cell phone, and ask for Dave. So I did. I told Dave that my pops told me to call him. I told him that I was in trouble and to please come help me. Bunny’s brother was steadily banging on the door and cussing at me. I was petrified. What drove me crazy was how calm Dave was as well. He just told me he was on his way, and then he hung up.”

“I don’t know how long it was. But the next thing I heard was the front door busting in. Then Bunny’s brother was saying, ‘Hey, who the fuck are you?’ Then I heard a body being tossed around, shit breaking, and him screaming bloody murder… Then silence. I was shaking at this point. When I heard the police in my apartment, I screamed for them to help me.

“I was still in my towel. At first they thought there was an intruder who broke in and beat Bunny’s brother to near death. But I pointed to the man the paramedic was helping and told them that he was the one trying to get me. I couldn’t tell him who it was that came in the apartment, but I just told them what I heard. When I finally got a good look at Bunny’s brother, I was shocked at what I saw. He was on a stretcher with a face that was unrecognizable.”

“Damn, really? And you never saw Dave?”

She shook her head.

“Nope. To this day, I haven’t a clue who Dave was.”

“Well, what happened when Bunny and your father came home?”

“Oh, Bunny came home cussing and carrying on. When the cops told her what her brother was trying to do to me, she actually started blaming me. I was floored. And when my father came home, he wasn’t any help either. When my pops finally showed up, the cops were gone, and the door was still messed up from either Dave or the cops. So my pops just pushed the flimsy door open and commenced to whooping my father’s ass. I mean he took it to him. When Bunny tried to jump in, he choked her and then tossed her out of the way. Pops called my father a useless piece of shit to let that child molester around his daughter. He then just grabbed my hand and took me away that very moment. I left everything I had there and just left with the clothes on my back.”

I fell silent, and so did she. She really had it rough for a while, and my heart bled for her. My childhood wasn’t as messed up as that. To hear what she went through made my shit meaningless. She then captured my large hands between hers and laced her fingers with mine. She stared absent-mindedly.

“You know, my pops was a nervous wreck for a long time after that. He got Lou to teach me a few things I could do to protect myself. Throughout my childhood, he taught me how to shoot and to watch my back. He wanted to make sure no one snuck up on me. I mean, I have a glock in my room and a stun gun and mace… None of that was of any use to me as Travis fucking choked the shit out of me.”

She broke down, and I cradled her in my arms.

“Hey, baby. No, no, no. That son-of-a-bitch took advantage of you when you were at your most vulnerable. He’s a fucking coward. This is not your fault. Do you understand me?” I kissed her forehead and held her for a minute longer, before I said softly, “Come on. Let’s take a shower and get back in the bed.”

I picked her up and took us both out of the bathtub and into the shower. I quietly washed her body, while she held on to me. Then I washed myself and both of our hair before I carried her out and in the room. I took my time to dry her off and lotion her body. I massaged every inch of her, trying to subdue the urge I had to ravage her body. I put a fresh t-shirt of mine on her body. I went to dry off and grabbed a pair of boxer briefs. When I crawled in the bed, she sat up and looked at me.

“I’m sorry for all this.”

She looked down in her lap, not wanting to look at me. I tilted her chin up, and our eyes met.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yes, there is. I know I should have called you. I mean, I did try to call you that night. I was sitting in my living room on Thursday. I wanted to talk to you, to see you. I missed you so much, you know. When my doorbell rang, it was Train. He begged me to let him in. He wanted to talk to me about Travis, you know. He was worried about him and thought he needed help for some issues he was having. I knew something was off with Trip, so I agreed and let him in. Train and I were talking and came to the conclusion that we both needed to try and get through to Trip in the best way possible.” She sighed and shook her head. “I know that was stupid, and I know you warned me about him, but I figured I was safe with Train, you know? And I mean, at first, everything was fine. The three of us talked, and Trip told us how he had some things going on, but he felt things were fine. Then we—or rather I, because Train chickened out—told Trip that he’s been changing lately and that we were worried. Well, to make a long story short, he first blamed me for the change in him because I broke up with him. Then he started accusing me of sleeping around on him with other fighters, with his brother, and then with you.”

She shifted and crossed her legs Indian-style.

“Then…I don’t know… He just went nuts. I told them both to leave and threatened to call the cops. I went in
to
the kitchen to get my phone, and I heard my front door open and close. I thought they were gone. But when I came into the living room, Trip was still there. His eyes were so crazed, you know. He went into attack mode. One minute he was just standing there, and the next minute he punched me so hard I fell to the floor with stars in my eyes. He then started kicking me and punching me. God, I tried to protect myself. He then pulled me up by my hair and…” She sighed.