Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance (15 page)

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Alex asked me after Lou told us the news.

“Was there any time since you’ve known me that I didn’t know what I was doing?”

We stared at each other for a beat, and then Alex walked closer to me. He pointed at my chest.

“No, there hasn’t been. But I can see the way you look at her. Tell me you aren’t doing this just to prove a point.”

I turned away from him and continued punching the bag in front of me.

As I threw a series of punches and kicks I said, “The cocky son of a bitch needs his ass kicked. He’s just like Lawrence.”

“So what? You think you’re the guy to do it?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, bullshit. You want to fight him because of her.”

“Mason?”

We both turned around and found Max standing there. I looked at her briefly, then turned around and continued to finish my workout. I noticed that Alex disappeared from my side and was replaced by Max.

“Are you going to look at me or continue ignoring me?”

I thought about ignoring her, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. So I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.

She asked, “Is it true you have two fights on Saturday, one being with Trip?”

I looked at her up and down and licked my lips involuntarily. I couldn’t help it. She wore these tight spandex type pants that showed her curves and a form-fitting t-shirt that showed me those perfect breasts. Man, what I wouldn’t give to put them in my mouth.

“Concentrate, Mace,” she smirked.

I smiled for the first time in a week. “Yes. It’s about time he and I have a conversation.”

She folded her arms. “Oh yeah? About what exactly? I’ve seen the exchanges between the two of you. Are you doing this because of me?”

And that was the million dollar question. He irritated the fuck out of me, but he and I needed to have it out for multiple reasons; one being her.

She took my silence to mean that she and Alex were right, and she said, “Look, I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I can do it all on my own.”

“I’m sure you can,” I told her, finally speaking.

“So you don’t have to do this. You can decline the fight with Trip.”

I shook my head. “Oh no, I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Uh no, I can’t. I’m not a pussy, Allura.”

Her eyebrows raised in shock. “I know you aren’t a pussy, Mason,” she said softly.

“So why would you want me to decline the fight?”

I watched her eyes, as she battled with what to say. Finally, after a minute, she sighed. “Look, Mace, I know you are a good fighter. Okay? I’m not going to knock your abilities.”

I knew where she was going, and I was starting to get pissed off even more. “Allura, I need you to stop talking right now.”

I walked closer to her where she had to look up in my eyes.

I ignored every urge I had to kiss her and said, “Understand something; I don’t give a fuck about Travis or the fact that he’s been fighting MMA style longer than me. He’s a low-life son-of-a-bitch who isn’t worth a pot to fucking piss in. All his experience in the world will not help him once he steps foot in that cage. That fucker needs his head bashed in, and I’m going to be the one to oblige.”

She stepped back from me when I said that, but I continued, “You think I haven’t paid any attention to how he is? The way he looks at you? How you react every time he steps foot in the same room as you? You’re afraid of him, Allura. I don’t know why, but that is fucking unacceptable. I didn’t like the way he grabbed you at the bar the day we met or a couple of weeks ago before my fight. So we either have this out on Saturday in the cage or we’ll have it out somewhere else. Either way, he and I will talk. He’s a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. So I’m going to do what I do best and diffuse him before he does something stupid and makes matters worse for him. Now if you’ll excuse me, darling, I need a fucking shower.”

I started removing the tape off my hands and walked away from her. I knew she was only trying to help, but I hate being underestimated. I mentioned that I could be cocky and arrogant, but I’m not stupid. I know my body, and I know my limitations. I reached that limit the day I saw Travis grip Max. I know men like Travis. They think they are God’s gift to the world; most of all to women.

I wanted to tell her to stay away from him. I didn’t trust him, and I knew men like that were unpredictable. But I’ve handled shit like that. I don’t believe that Max has. I should have warned her. After I showered, I went looking for her, but she had already left for the night. If Travis did do something, or if she was in trouble, I would hope she would call me. I texted her and asked her to tell me if for any reason Travis threatens her or makes her feel uncomfortable. She didn’t respond, but I knew she got the message. Honestly, I don’t think Travis would be stupid enough to do anything to Max. I mean the guy would be out of his mind, right?

Thursday or Friday I didn’t see Maxine at the gym. I had stopped by her job, but she wasn’t there either. Michelle told me she was studying for an upcoming test. But as she talked to me, I had this feeling something wasn’t right. I’ve always trusted my gut, and it told me to go to her place and check on her myself. I went by her apartment late that night, but she didn’t answer the door. I texted her and called her, but she didn’t call or text me back.

That’s when I knew something happened. I ended up calling every hospital in the area to check and make sure she wasn’t there. I even had Alex call a buddy of his from the police force to see if they had any domestic or assault calls pertaining to Allura or Maxine or even Travis. On Friday, I cornered Michelle and Teresa in a back room of the bar and drilled them with questions, but they gave me some lame ass excuse. I told them I wasn’t buying it. I told them that if Maxine didn’t call me or talk to me in the next hour or so, there would be some shit. Well, I also may have punched a hole in Lou’s wall for emphasis. But they got the message. In fact, my phone rang within an hour.

I had taken a breath before I answered. But clearly that breath did nothing, because I roared in the phone, “Where the hell are you?”

“Mason, calm down. Okay?” She tried to sound strong, but I could hear something was wrong.

“Then talk to me, Maxine. I’ve been calling you for the past two days. You haven’t been home or at work or answering my calls.”

“I’m over Mimi’s parents’ house. Okay? Her dad is a doctor, and he’s helping me with the huge exam I have next week. That’s all. I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls and texts. I’ve had my nose in the books, and I’ve been also shadowing him in the hospitals.”

The shit sounded plausible, but there was still something wrong.

I said, not caring how it sounded, “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you? Tell me the truth, Maxine.”

“No, Mace. I’m not lying to you. Okay?”

“So you’re not running from Travis or any of his goons?”

“No, of course not.”

I paused, listening for the inflections in the voice to indicate when someone is lying. So far she was passing, but my gut told me something was wrong. I didn’t push.

Instead, I calmed down slightly and said to her, “So if everything is okay, I’ll see you at the fight tomorrow?”

“Mason, I…”

I didn’t let her finish. “Angel, you have one of two choices. One is that I come to where you are. And don’t think for a second I won’t be able to find you. I’ve done it for a living for ten years. Or, I’ll see you tomorrow at the fight before it starts.”

To help her along, I said softly, “I need you there with me tomorrow, Maxine. It’s important.”

I knew she couldn’t deny me then. I heard her sigh loudly, and then she conceded, “Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you… And afterwards we need to talk.”

“I know,” she said softly.

I let her go by reiterating her presence being needed tomorrow. What I made sure to do until I see her is change my way of thinking. I can’t let my emotions get the better of me, and I was feeling that happening. No matter what I learned, tomorrow, I had to stay focused. I dug deep within and summoned the darkness that I’ve been trying to suppress. I instantly felt fear for the first time in a very long time.

I also knew I truly cared about this woman. No matter what happened tomorrow, I had to make sure she knew that. There’s not that many people I would lay my life on the line for. Except for my country as a whole and my SEAL team, my brother, grandparents, and AB are the only ones I would die for…until now. I knew if given the opportunity, I would do anything for Allura Maxine Shaw.

When I arrived at the facility, I was quiet. When Alex saw me, he knew a transformation took place. Being a SEAL, there were so many things we saw, and so many things we had to do that weren’t for the faint of heart. Being on the SEAL Team meant we had the ugliest jobs known to man. I can’t begin to tell you how many people I sent to hell throughout my career.  What people knew about me was how quiet I liked to be. You never knew when it was coming, or when I was coming. But when I got to you, it was guaranteed that I was ending your life. When you laid eyes on me, there wasn’t a question of “it’s me or you.” No doubt about it, it would be your life that would be ending.

So Alex and my team started calling me “The Reaper.” They always said it was something in my eyes that would change and nothing else. My face would show no emotion, but my eyes would be blazing with fury. I never saw it, mind you. But by the way Alex was looking at me now, I knew that change had occurred. I felt it happening last night. It was something in me that just switched. I needed to release this aggression within me, and I hoped it would be soon.

I remained quiet in the waiting room. I concentrated on warming up and staying loose. I felt myself losing patience as time went by. When I finally saw her, the body language she wore told me something was wrong. She walked in with Stephen and helped him set his equipment up for any fighter that needed him throughout the night. I watched her closely—the way she moved and how she interacted with everyone—and something was off. I knew she felt me watching her. I could feel it when she had her eyes on me, and I knew we shared the same feeling. She was avoiding me.

Alex was next to me putting tape on my hands when he looked up and saw what I was looking at. He paused and watched too.

He whispered, “Oh shit,” which sprung me into action.

I headed in her direction, and she felt me coming. She turned, and I could clearly see her bracing herself. But as I got closer, I could see her relax.

That is, until her eyes met mine. She smiled weakly.

“Hey, you. Are you ready for the fight?”

I searched her eyes and assessed the damage. When I spoke, it was softly, so only she could hear. “What the fuck did he do to you?”

Her eyes grew large as saucers, but she didn’t reply. I saw her eyes get moist, and I touched her cheek and wiped the tear that fell.

“Tell me what happened?” I asked her.

She shook her head no, and continued to not meet my gaze. I traced the side of her jaw and traveled down to her chin. I tilted her head, and I saw the faintness of a bruise and swelling on her cheek and the effort of concealing. She finally met my eyes, and I could see fear all over her.

She still didn’t speak to me. I decided I would find out what he did on my own. I placed my hands on the sides of her beautiful face, and then moved them down to her neck. I tilted her head up slightly, so I could see if there was bruising underneath her scarf. I think she knew then what I was doing and moved her neck from my grip.

I then traveled down her arms, squeezing her biceps slightly while I looked in her eyes for the sign of pain. I moved closer to her, and as she tried to move away from me, I touched her side.

“What are you doing?” she asked me. “Leave me alone, Mason.”

She then walked out of the room with her head in her hands. I watched as Train, Travis’ brother tried to touch her. She jumped back from him and then pushed him in the chest. The guy put his hands up in surrender, and he too watched her walk away.

Anger flowed through my body like a potent drug, and I let it. It warmed me and soothed me and became a part of me. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths as I let the darkness completely take over. I turned around and went back to Alex, who was waiting for me. He stood when he saw me walk over, and I saw a mask come over his face just as I knew one was over mine.

“What did she say?” he asked me, with a hard tone to his voice.

I found mine and said, “She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to.”

He nodded imperceptibly but didn’t say anything else. He continued tapping my hand while I thought of the many ways I was going to inflict pain onto Travis’ body.

Chapter 9

Maxine

I couldn’t stop shaking. I looked at my face in the mirror and willed myself to be strong. I couldn’t let Travis know he broke me. I can’t let him know how he affected me. I was doing fine until I saw Mason. Why the hell did he guilt me into coming tonight? I was okay until he touched me, until I looked into his eyes. He saw right through me, I knew. He knew everything that happened to me the other night. I could see it. I could feel his rage and sense his loathing. I didn’t think it was towards me, but I still couldn’t be sure. All I wanted to do was have him hold me, but I couldn’t break down.

I knew, as I looked at myself in the mirror, I loathed myself. Just thinking about what happened is making me shake with fear.

I was studying in my apartment, trying to prepare for a very important test. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Mason. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, telling him we should take things slow. I knew for a fact I didn’t want that. I wanted him—body, mind, and soul. But I knew I couldn’t have him that way. But having him this way wasn’t working for me, either. I tossed my book next to me and reached for my phone to call him, when my intercom bell started ringing.

I stood, smiling. Please, let it be Mason. I swore if it was, I would definitely jump his bones first and then apologize for being an idiot.

“Hello.”

“Max, hey. It’s me, Train.”

I frowned. “What do you want, Train? Why are you here, unannounced at that?”

“I know. I’m sorry. But I’m desperate. I’m really concerned about Trip, and I really need your help. He’s becoming erratic, and I was hoping you…”

I started shaking my head.

I selected the talk button and said, “Oh no, Train. Trip isn’t my problem anymore, remember? We are over. If you want help, you better look for it someplace else.”

I heard Train sigh, but I waited. Looking back, I should have just walked away from the intercom. But I didn’t.

Train said, “Maxine, I understand he messed up big time, and he doesn’t deserve you. But you are my only hope. No one cares about Trip. They only care about what they can get from him. Talking to anyone else will only make things worse. Please, I really need your help. You are my last hope.”

It was my turn to be silent. I knew for a fact the people Trip has around him don’t care about him the way Train does.

I rolled my eyes and said, “I will give you twenty minutes of my time. And I’m only talking to you, Train.”

“Oh yeah, of course, Max. Trip doesn’t even know I’m here.”

So I buzzed him in and opened my door. When my eyes fell on Train, I could see the genuine concern for his brother all over him. My tension eased as I led him to the couch.

“So what’s going on?” I asked getting right to the point.

Train watched me closely and then nodded. “I’m not sure, really. I think he’s using, but what exactly he’s on I couldn’t tell you.”

“Doesn’t he get tested? I know for a fact the league tests all their fighters.”

Train nodded. “Yes, of course, and he’s passing. But hell, you know he could have someone piss for him. I’m just trying to figure out how to ask him what’s going on in a way that doesn’t make him flip his lid, you know.”

“I don’t know if I’m the person to help you, Train. I mean I’m studying to be a nurse, yes. But this isn’t my field of expertise.” We stared at each other for a second before I said to him, “What’s he doing that has you concerned?”

“It’s his temper really. I mean you remember he had a temper, but he never would lose control. Now, man, there is so much that sets him off. And when he gets pissed, he’s like a tornado. You have no idea what mood he’s in on a regular basis. He can go from zero to fucking one hundred in a millisecond. But I’m around him all the time. So for the life of me, I don’t know when he is finding time to do anything.”

“Well, have you talked to him? Asked him about everything?”

“Yeah, I’ve tried to. But he just blows me off. Man, Max, if it was easy to talk to the son-of-a-bitch, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Then, I guess I can’t help you.”

I stood, and then Train stood too.

“Okay, look. I’m sorry. I’m just so frustrated. I’m at my wit’s end. I think he’s going to mess-up his chances in this business, and that’s going to be the death of him. How do I bring up the topic without making him pissed off?”

I looked in his eyes and thought about that very question. I honestly don’t think it’s possible. Then an idea came to me.

I said, “Why don’t you and someone sit down with him and talk to him. I’m sure there is someone in your camp that you can trust.”

Train laughed. “If you believe Trip trusts or would listen to anyone from his team, you really don’t know him. In that case, you’re right; I shouldn’t be here.”

Train headed for the door, and I sighed. I know what I’m about to suggest will come back to haunt me. Hell, I shouldn’t even care one way or another. But the look in Train’s eyes made me stop him.

“Train, you don’t have to go. Okay? I’m sure we can think of something.”

Train smiled at me and sat back down. I took a deep breath and asked Train if he wanted something to drink. He told me, “Water.” When I came back to sit down next to him, we hashed out an idea. At first, I was a little hesitant about it, but Train was adamant in his belief that it would work.

My thoughts moved to the last conversation I had with Mason: “He’s a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.” I knew in my heart he was right, but in about fifteen minutes I was about to find out first-hand.

Train thought it would be a good idea if he and I tag-teamed and talked to him. At first, I said no. I didn’t want to be in the same room as Trip, but Train promised me he would be in the room at all times. I knew if there was anyone that could control Trip, it was his brother. So we made a date to get together and talk. But when Trip just called, Train wanted to do it right now. I shrugged my shoulders and told him ‘fine.’

The moment Train hung up his cell telling me Trip was on his way, I felt that bad vibe you get when you’re about to do something you know you shouldn’t. This wasn’t right. I felt it, but I ignored it, thinking it was just nerves.

My bell went off, and I went to push the button to let Trip inside. When he got to my door, we gave each other a hesitant hug. He wore a white t-shirt and jeans, with a pair of Timberland boots. That was a wardrobe that I always loved to see him in. When he smiled at me, it was hesitant as well and a little shy. That eased my tension tremendously. It was as if the old Trip was back. Once we all sat down, I looked at Trip.

“How are you?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Good, I guess. I have a lot going on right now, but I think everything is going okay. Why? You don’t think so?”

Trip looked between me and his brother.

Train cleared his throat, “Look, bro, Max and I wanted to talk to you a little bit about what’s been going on with you lately. I know—or rather, we both know—you are under a lot of pressure trying to go pro and everything. But we’ve noticed some changes in your moods.”

Trip frowned and sat back in the chair he was sitting in.

He said, “What do you mean by moods?”

Train, copping out as I knew he would, looked over at me. I rolled my eyes at him and then said bluntly, “You’ve been reacting to a lot of situations that you normally would let roll off you. Now you get extremely angry. We just wanted to talk to you to maybe figure out what’s going on and try and work through it. Like if you feel stressed out, what are some of the things we can do to alleviate some of the stress? Stuff like that.”

Trip looked at me and then at his brother.

Frowning, he said, “I see. So you two came together like an intervention or something? You think I’m using or something?”

I shook my head.

“No, of course not, but come on, Trip. I know you have a temper, but you’ve let a lot more things bother you than you normally would.”

“How would you know? You broke up with me, remember? You’re never around. So maybe you’re the reason why I’m ‘stressing,’ as you call it. Maybe if you come back, then I wouldn’t be so stressed.”

I was afraid of this, and I looked to Train for help. But he just sat there looking at me, like he was just a spectator.

I took a deep breath then said, “Trip, let’s be honest. You’ve been acting different even before we broke up. Why do you think we broke up in the first place, besides you cheating on me?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have been cheating if you weren’t acting different towards me. Don’t just blame our breakup on me, Max. You’ve had a big part in it.”

“Me?!” I exclaimed. “How is that? Did I push that one girl’s mouth on your dick and the other one in your arms?”

Trip leaned forward to get closer to me. “You might as well have.”

I scoffed, “Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. You damn well know I was nothing but supportive to you in everything you did. I didn’t do anything to make you cheat on me.”

Trip stood. “You think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

I stood. “It’s time for you two to leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere. You wanted to have this little intervention, so let’s have it. You claim you were there for me, being all supportive. Well, that’s kind of hard to believe when you’re flirting with every fighter in the gym.”

“Oh, you’re out of you mind. I didn’t flirt with anyone,” I replied, but he just continued as if I never said a word.

“You think I didn’t notice the way you looked at the other fighters? Or how they looked at you? No man is going to look at a woman as hard as they looked at you if nothing was going on. I trusted you, Maxine. And you were going behind my back. Were you helping them during the fights? Were you betting against me?”

I made a face and was about to say something, but the look in his eyes caused me to stop. His normally blue eyes were manic and dark. I started to worry, and I looked over at Train for help.

“Bro, come on. Max would never.” Train started, but Trip turned on him.

“Are you fucking her too? Is that why you’re here? Are you two teaming up against me?”

“Fuck, bro. Are you serious?”

Train jumped to his feet. Yeah, this was a huge mistake. Trip turned to face me, pointing his finger at me.

“Who else did you fuck behind my back? Is it that Reap fucker? Have you two been laughing behind my back? You know I’m going to fucking kill him in that cage right in front of you. I’m going to rip his fucking head off.”

I put my hands up and looked at Train.

“Train, get your brother and get out of my apartment. I knew this was a bad idea.” I looked at Trip. “You really need some help; you’re out of your mind.”

Train went to his brother. “Come on, bro. Man, let’s go.”

“You think this is over, Max? It’s far from it,” Trip spit out.

“Get out before I call the cops,” I told them both.

Then I went to the kitchen to get my phone. I heard the door open and close, and I took a deep breath. My heart was going a mile a minute, wondering what the hell just happened.  I shook my head. I didn’t want to be alone with Trip, knowing the state he was in. 

I walked back out of my kitchen and was met with the most frightening sight of my life. Trip was standing in front of me, with this murderous look etched on his face. I started to say something, but it was at that moment that I felt the worst blow hit me on the side of my face. I saw darkness and then stars. I wanted to scream. I tried to I think, but the next blow to my ribs knocked the wind right out of me. ‘Oh God, no!!!!!’

I shivered and tried to fight back the bile that was starting to climb in my throat. God, I felt awful and more scared than I have ever been. Could he really see the bruise on my face? I removed the scarf and looked at the makeup on my neck. Could he see that too? I shivered.

I can’t believe I was stupid enough to let what happened to me go down. I feel so stupid for trusting him. I should have known where his loyalty was. I should have listened to that inner voice telling me being around Trip was a bad idea, no matter who was with me. I mean, what happened to Train? Did he just leave me? I shook my head, knowing it really didn’t matter where Train was. It was clear that Trip could never be stopped.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in here, but I needed to get out there before things got worse. I wasn’t sure if Trip would do what he said he would, and I was fearful for Mason. I heard the crowd screaming and cheering, which told me the fight probably had already started. I walked quickly toward the main gym. When my eyes fell on the spectacle in the center of the cage, my mouth dropped. Mason was on top of Travis, pounding his face. Travis desperately tried to cover up. What the hell?

Mason did the oddest thing. He got up and gave Travis a minute to get to his feet. What was he doing?

Travis charged at Mason, throwing punches that were connecting and even managed to split the top of Mason’s eye. I cringed at the blow, but it didn’t faze Mason at all. It seemed he was in a haze of some sort as he took Travis’ punches as if they were nothing. Now I could tell Travis’ punches were deadly. Hell, I kind of knew firsthand how hard his hits were. But to Mason, it looked like nothing. The couple of hits that landed on Mason’s head only caused his head to tilt on impact.