Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance (14 page)

I felt the tears in my eyes as he spoke to me. I felt like shit for saying what I said, but I couldn’t help it. He makes me feel insecure. I know he is way out of my league. No matter what he says to me, when this is over, he’s going to destroy me. I just hope I have enough strength to survive it.

I started to tell him that, but all I got was his name out before his lips were on mine. I let him kiss me, but I didn’t touch him.

I think he knew what I was doing, and he said against my lips, “Touch me, angel. I need to feel you.”

I still didn’t move, and he reached for my arms and brought them up and put them around his neck. I couldn’t resist him. I knew better than to try. I felt him bend down slightly. He then wrapped his arms around me tight and lifted me up. When he did that, all fight and hesitation in me was gone. I deepened our kiss, and he groaned in my mouth feeling that I was giving myself to him.

He took his time with me, touching and kissing every part of me from my forehead to my toes. When he got to my clit, he went into another level of pleasure. He stayed there for what seemed like forever, pleasuring me and teasing me. I was literally trying to crawl away from him, but he would simply pull me back down and continue his attack. This man was gifted beyond my wildest dreams. I wasn’t sure if it was just me that brought this out of him, as he’s claimed. But as I climax yet again, I hoped it was true. When he finally listened to my pleas to fuck me hard, I’d turned into a beast. I wanted it rough and angry, and I have to say he delivered. I grabbed and pulled his hair. I bit him and scratched his back as he punished me with pure delight.

When he finally found his release, after finding mine multiple times, he was just as spent as I was. But for some reason, I was hungry for more. I don’t know what he did to me, but I didn’t want it to end. So when he got out of the bathroom, I was already standing at the window naked and trying to think of a plan to get back at this evil bastard for turning me out.

“You okay?” I heard him ask me.

I didn’t answer. I just turned around and walked to the bed. I crawled on my hands and knees with my ass in the air. I saw his eyes travel to my ass, and he instinctively licked his lips.

He mumbled, “Baby, you’re killing me. You know that, right?”

“What are you talking about, Mason?” I asked innocently.

I laughed as he smacked my ass and went to grab another condom.

Afterward, we both grabbed a shower. The rest of the day, we lounged around his place. His brother called him a few times on his cell. He worked with him for a few hours, while I pretended to be studying. What really happened was that I fell asleep on his couch. He made me dinner this time—broiled steaks and baked potatoes. We still had salad from yesterday, so we ate that too.

We talked while we ate, just about his life in Dallas and mine here in Philly. I told him about my best friend, Kat, who lives in Dallas, and that after I graduate, I may join her there at some point. I love living in Philly, so it would take a lot of talking into on her part.

That night we continued to learn everything we could about each other’s body. We couldn’t keep our hands off one another, and the need and desire for one another was insatiable.

I finally went home on Tuesday, mainly because I had class. The L train was functioning again. So as he went to the gym to work out and get ready for his fight, I went to class and tried to make up for the lack of sleep in the last two days.

What I learned, however, is my body was already used to his touch. It longed for it, and every time I thought of him I smiled and imagined him touching and kissing me. It was crazy trying to concentrate in class. Even as I fell asleep, I was longing for him again.

We texted each other, and he told me how Lou put it to him since he missed two days of working out because of me. His legs were slow, and he was slightly off on his timing. I texted him to ask if he wanted me to give him a massage, and he wrote in all caps PLEASE. I laughed and told him I would owe him the next time I saw him. I couldn’t get out of this bed if someone paid me. I was so exhausted.

When I finally saw him at the gym the next day, he was jumping rope with his headset on. I watched as his muscles flexed with each turn of the rope. His strong arms were taut. He was light on his feet, as they lightly touched the ground while he jumped. When he saw me, he stopped and smiled. Lou then yelled something to him, and he smiled at him and resumed jumping. I decided it would be best to stay clear of him for the rest of the day. I didn’t want to break his focus before Lou breaks him.

I stayed next to Stephen and his wife as they worked out various fighter’s muscles and limbs. I spoke with Alex for a while, as well making sure I stayed clear away from Mason.

Alex asked me, “You and Reap have a fight or something?”

I looked surprised.

“No. Why? Is that what he told you?”

He laughed.

“No. Max, calm down. I was just wondering, since you’ve been over here this whole time.”

I blushed. “Oh. Well, I didn’t want to disturb him while he works out, you know?”

“Uh huh. Well, that didn’t stop you before. What changed?”

I couldn’t answer that at all. I just stared at him, dumbfounded. He grinned.

“I mean, I’m sure he was feeling the same way before too, and he never lost focus.”

He then got up from me and walked away. I followed him as he strolled over to Mason. Mason looked pissed. When Alex got to him, he said something that made Alex laugh and shake his head. Mason’s eyes then fell on me, and I could feel the heat from them all the way across the room. I don’t know what that was about, but now I’m really not going over there.

By the end of the day, Mason came over to me. I expected him to lie on Stephen’s table for his after workout therapy, but he stopped in front of me and lay on my table.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, nervously looking around.

He looked at me with amusement. “Well, I’m waiting for my workout therapy. Can you pay extra attention to my lower back? These past few days have been hell on my back.”

I looked at his back, and my first instinct was to attack him. He sensed my hesitation, and he smiled back at me.

He whispered, “We can do that too, but it’ll have to be later. I don’t think Lou would appreciate you attacking me like that.”

I snapped out of my thoughts and smacked him upside his head.

“Oh, shut up.”

I started to work his back muscles as he wanted. I made sure to take extra care on him to work out places that I knew Stephen wouldn’t do, but should have. I paid close attention to the way Mason fought, and what muscles he uses all the time. I made sure to loosen every muscle he used and then I stretched him. By the time I was done with him, he was completely relaxed… and I was completely horny.

Apparently he was too, because he stayed on the table on his stomach for a minute after I was done. I laughed and walked away to try and get myself together. I can’t believe he was doing this to me. As I packed my stuff, he came up behind me.

“Do you have to work today?”

I turned to face him. He backed me up in a corner where no one could see us. His lips quickly fell on mine. My hands went straight in his hair, and his went straight to my ass. Kissing this man was my undoing and my weakness. I didn’t want to stop and whimpered slightly when he pulled back from me. I saw it was hard for him to stop too, as he kept his eyes closed for just a second longer.

“I’ve been waiting to do that all day.”

He placed his arms around my waist and brought his forehead to mine.

“Hey, baby,” he said, low and husky.

I grinned like a school girl. I mean, this is ridiculous. I just talked to him a minute ago. As a matter of fact, I had my hands all over his body. But his saying hello to me—like he was just seeing me for the first time—made me blush.

“Tell me you can come home with me,” he asked, with a voice that was still low and sweet.

I reluctantly shook my head.

“I can’t. I have to work tonight.”

“What time do you get off?”

“I’m there until closing, about 3 a.m.”

“Okay, bring some clothes with you, and I’ll come and get you when you get off.”

“Mason, that’s kind of late, don’t you think? Tomorrow I get off earlier. I can…”

Mason interrupted me with another breath-taking kiss. When he pulled back, he had both hands on my cheeks. “I can’t wait that long, Maxine. I need to see you tonight. I’ll be there to pick you up.”

Then he just abruptly walked away from me.

‘Holy shit.’

Chapter 8

Mason

I’m addicted to her. I have come to that conclusion after a month of pining after her and about a week of seeing her every day. I can’t seem to get enough of Allura Maxine Shaw. Yeah, her first name is Allura. She told me she hated her first name, so everyone calls her Max or Maxine. Her grandparents, though, called her Allura.

I love that name, so I call her that every chance I get. Sometimes she tries to ignore me, but she can’t seem to keep it going; especially when I’m in that sweet pussy of hers. Damn, she is amazing. Have I said that already? Well, I don’t give a fuck. She’s amazing. I get completely lost when I’m inside her. I miss her when she’s working and when she’s home or at school. I call her and text her every day. Then when I get to her, I don’t waste any time putting my hands and lips on her.

She feels good. She tastes good. That voice of hers; I’ve never heard anything like it, and it completely unmans me every time I’m around her. The last fight I was in, it wasn’t as easy as the others. This guy—they called him the Butcher—seemed to have some skill in fighting. He managed to get a few hits in on me. It wasn’t nothing that fazed me, but he connected a few that caused some bruising on my side and chest. When I got him on the ground, I pounded into him. That ended the fight. It took me about two rounds, but I won nonetheless. Alex wasn’t too happy that it took that long, but I told him that he was more than welcome to take my place.

I was tired a little and quite winded. But the feeling of seeing worry in Max’s eyes and her touch afterwards did something to me. If it didn’t irritate me to get hit, I would do it more often just to get her to take care of me. She started the jetted bathtub for me when I got home. She iced my bruises and kissed all the places I told her hurt. Well, there was one place that didn’t hurt, but it missed her, and she took care of it too. Let me tell you, there’s nothing better than a woman willing to go down on you, and it’s even rarer that she’s skillful too.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. I don’t just think about Max in a sexual manner. We just don’t do anything except have sex all the time—all hours of the day and night. As I told you, I’m addicted to her. I’ve tried to give her space, but I still find myself wanting to be around her. So I sometimes stop by her job for a little while. I would also stop by her house and hang out with her and her roommates. Alex would tag along, of course, since a certain girl has been staying there and has been on his hit-it list.

She has been hitting the books hard. So I try to get in when I fit in, but she always makes time for me. The time we spend with each other alone isn’t an effort spent on entertaining each other. Maxine could be sitting on the couch studying while I’m at my desk working for hours. We don’t have to spend it talking. Hell I could be watching Sports Center—lounging on the couch—and she is sitting right next to me. We still don’t have to fill the silence. One thing though, if I’m close to her, I have to touch her somehow. But that’s about it.

The only issue I had was during one of the fight weekends. She hung out a little in the waiting room, but when Travis or one of his goons came in, she just up and left the room. That irritated me to no end. I texted her and told her to get her ass back in here quickly, or there will be a problem. I didn’t think she should be different around me because of Travis. I got her to loosen up a little in the training gym. She was required to kiss me when she arrived, and if she left before I did, no matter what I was doing, she had to kiss me when she left.

She walked back in later than I liked, and as she sauntered up to me, I showed her how pissed I was.

“Where did you go?” I asked her.

She sighed, “I was heading to my seat.”

I tilted my head. “Without wishing me luck?” I pulled her closer to me and gave her the tape for my hands. She sighed again and started taping me. “Are you running because of Travis?”

“Mason…” she started, but she didn’t complete her thought.

I could see the fear in her eyes, and it was all over her body. Alex caught my eye, and he shook his head. He knew where I was going, but he, as well as myself, could see how Travis affected her. As much as I didn’t like it, I kept my mouth shut and saved what I had to say to her afterwards. I was pissed though, and as always, I had a hard time hiding it.

When she was done with both my hands, I tested her work by punching my fists in my own hand. She did a great job, I had to say. She definitely knew what she was doing.

I asked her, “Are you going in the bleachers or sitting in my corner?”

She looked at me surprised. I honestly didn’t think I asked a shocking question.

“What? You think, because I’m pissed, I don’t want you around?”

She didn’t answer me for a second, and I assumed she was trying to figure out what to say.

She chose wisely and said, “I’m with you.”

I just nodded and placed my headphones on my ears as she sat down and started texting. I looked over at Travis’ brother and found him looking over in our direction. I held his gaze for a minute before I turned and looked over at Alex. Alex was looking over at Travis’ team as well, wondering probably the same as me: when was this going to come to a head? I’m not going to do or say anything to him about Max right now. I knew it wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation, but it needed to be had and soon.

When I finally made my way to the cage, she walked right behind me and in front of Alex. Alex knew exactly what I was feeling, and I knew he had my back looking out for her when I couldn’t. The fight didn’t last very long. Lou said this guy was good. But honestly, I couldn’t tell he had any real skill. I mean maybe he was okay compared to these other fighters. But I didn’t think he should be in the cage with me. It could have been because I was pissed off anyway and just wanted to get out of here…I’m not sure. Actually, I don’t remember much of the fight, to be honest with you. When I left the cage, Max looked at me funny. Alex chuckled, and Max, who was still getting used to me, just shook her head.

“What?” I said to her.

“Are you okay?” she asked, still looking at me strangely.

“No. I’m pissed. But other than that I’m fine. Why, Allura? What’s up?”

I was getting irritated. I took the gloves off and handed them to Alex as I headed back to the waiting area for a shower. She struggled to keep up with me.

“I mean that guy swung and hit you on your chin.”

I stopped and looked at her.

“What?”

“You don’t remember that? Didn’t you feel it?” she asked me.

I heard Alex start to laugh. My eyes narrowed on him, but that made him laugh louder.

“Of course I felt it,” I snapped and walked into the men’s locker room to shower.

I heard Alex say to her, “The prima donna there hates to be hit in the face. He sees red and blacks out.”

“Stop lying to her, Alex,” I yelled as I turned the shower on.

****

The ride home was quiet. Max didn’t say much to me, and I wasn’t up for talking. When I pulled up to her building, I turned off my car and sat there for a minute. I looked over at her.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” I asked.

“No,” she said simply, wringing her hands together.

“Then what’s up? And please don’t tell me you’re afraid for me?”

“No. It’s clear you can take care of yourself,” she spit out a little too harshly.

“So are you afraid he will hurt you?”

She shrugged but didn’t reply.

“Allura, has he threatened you?” I asked.

Her answer would change things drastically. It might mean that my conversation with him would have to happen sooner rather than later.

She sighed, “No, he hasn’t… Well, I mean, not anything more than what I told you.”

“Do you think he will try and hurt you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, so what’s up then? Why did you just walk out on me like that without saying two words to me?”

She then shifted to face me. “What is this, Mason?”

“Well, this is called dialogue.”

“Don’t be a smart ass. You know what I mean. I’m a little confused as to what you and I are.”

I knew this was coming, but yet, I still didn’t have an answer.

Luckily she saved me when she said, “Look, I know neither use are looking for a relationship. But I don’t know how you want me to act when we’re in public. I mean, you want me to kiss you every time I see you. But we aren’t together like that. All we do is hang out at your place or mine, and we have sex. That’s the extent of our relationship.”

I let what she said linger in the car for a minute before I responded.

“Look, Allura, I’ve told you that there are things going on with me right now that I’m working through. I’m not exactly boyfriend material. What I can give you is what I’ve been doing. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you. If kissing me is too much, then fine. You don’t have to greet me like that anymore. What I don’t agree with is you thinking that sex is the extent of our relationship.”

“Look, Mace, I just think we need to calm down a little, okay?”

I sighed heavily. “Fine, Allura. If that’s what you want.”

I looked out the front window of my car, trying not to show her how pissed I was. This was fucking bullshit. But, hey, she had a point. It isn’t fair for me to have her act like she was mine but not give her the title.

“Will you be stopping by at The Bar tonight?” she asked.

“Nah, not tonight. I’m exhausted,” I lied.

I wasn’t tired at all; I was stewing and wanted to stew in the privacy of my own home.

“Mason, don’t be like that. Okay?” she pleaded.

I finally looked over at her. “I’m not being like anything, Maxine; I’m really tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, though.”

She sighed, kissed my cheek and then left me to stew by myself. So let me just tell; you know when I get pissed off, I don’t really think straight. I watched her go into her building and then I saw her enter her apartment. I then called Alex to see what plans he had for tonight. He told me hesitantly, and I told him I’d meet him out.

Four hours later, I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. But do you know what stopped me? My fucking dick. Go figure, right? I mean this hot, sweet ass was in front of me. She was grinding on my lap and kissing my neck. And I was more irritated than turned on. I wanted to leave, so I made a lame-ass excuse and left her apartment quick.

She’s ruined me completely. I checked my phone and saw that she had texted me, but I didn’t want to text her back. Even though I didn’t do anything, I still felt like I betrayed her. This is bullshit. I sulked the next day. Come Monday morning, I was still in a fucked-up mood. Maxine texted me on Sunday asking if I was hungry, but I told her I was good. I really didn’t want to see her. It wasn’t her fault, mind you. But if she said we were spending too much time together, then so be it. I’m going to give her the space she wants.

When she walked into the gym, she looked at me. I had my headphones blaring. I simply nodded my hello and continued to do my sit-ups. That’s what she wants right? Alex looked over at me with disappointment in his eyes. I rolled my eyes at him and kept counting in my head. Alex gave me the same look when I left with that brunette on Saturday. What I didn’t tell him is that I left the brunette wanting in her bed because I couldn’t follow through with it. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t, so I kept what happened to myself.

Lou, however, was the only happy camper. He was glad I was back to being focused, and that I was staying away from the distraction that is Allura Maxine Shaw. What he didn’t know is I was even more distracted by her. I didn’t stay completely away from her. I still wanted her to touch me, so I went to her to stretch me. For some reason, whatever she does makes me feel better after every workout and fight, even though Stephen has been doing this for much longer.

Our conversation was light. I asked her how her weekend was. She told me it was nothing special. She had just caught up on studying. She asked me the same question. Without going into detail about Saturday, I told her that I hooked up with Alex and hung out with him for a while. Then I had just worked on Sunday.

****

By Wednesday, I was seething with frustration and anger. I was suffering from blue balls, number one. I hadn’t had sex in days, and not for lack of invitations. The woman I wanted was staying away from me, and it was driving me crazy. Yes, I could go to her and kidnap her from work or her apartment. But this is what she asked for. So I’ve been waiting on her, and she hasn’t made a move at all. I’m about to lose it.

The only good news I received was when the fighting assignments came in, and I got the fight I was waiting for. Travis and I will finally have that conversation I’ve been dying to have. I also got a treat. I have a rematch request from the Butcher. He claims the ref didn’t give him enough time to get out of the hold I had him in and incorrectly identified his submission as something else. I didn’t care one way or another. I would have two fights in one night. It was about damn time that I finally had a challenge.