Resolution (Saviour) (3 page)

“
Who did he leave with Sam?” Please let me be wrong.

She
lets out a long breath and looks at the floor. “Who did he fucking leave with Sam?”

I stand up as Jo says
, “Lauren wait, just calm down, and let her speak.”

Before anyone can
say anymore the gates sound as they begin to open, I walk past everyone and head down the stairs, as I open the front door the gates are sliding shut again but there is no car on the drive. I can hear voices and engines running as I head to the small gate at the side, it’s raining and has turned cool, I give an involuntary shiver. The cold, nerves or actual straight up fear at what I am going to find out on the street? I’m not really sure. There’s shouting and I can definitely hear a woman's voice as I swing the gate back. Gabe’s car is almost touching the gate, with its lights on, engine still running and driver and passenger doors open, Coop and Zac’s cars are on the street with their lights on, engines still running. Cooper has a tall blonde girl by the arm and is trying to drag her to his car, but she is having none of it and is trying to fight him off. Gabe is leaning with his back against the boot of his car and swaying about as Zac stands in front of him, shouting about the state he is in.

“
What’s going on?” I shout, as all eyes turn to me.

“
Here she is, she's right here waiting just for me. The love of my life, the reason I breathe.”

Gabe i
s all over the place as he speaks and is barely coherent. I ignore him.

“
Cooper, what are you doing? Who the fuck is she?”

He looks
at Zac, then at the blonde, then at me.

“
Who am I?” She tries to pull free from Coop and move towards me, but Coops having none of it. She raise her chin in my direction.

“
Who the fuck are you?” She asks.

“
Hey...Youuuuu...Youuuu DO NOT Ever, talk to my princess like that!” Gabe slurs, trying to focus on me but talking to the blonde, I hope!

Gabe looks
towards Cooper. “Tell her to go Coop, tell her to fuck off, Lauren mustn't know. She will kill me; she will have my fuckin balls. Ha, she is so fuckin hot when she's pissed at me. Ha, I love her Zac. Zac – Zachary I love her like nothing else. She's done things to me Zachy. Why didn't you tell me bro? Why didn't anyone tell me it could be like this? I never knew, never ever knew.”

I can’t take my eyes off the blond
e; she shrugs out of Coopers grip and starts walking up the street, suddenly turning around and sticking her middle finger up at us all.

From behind me I hear
, “Yeah fuck off ya fucking moll!”

It’
s Stella.

“
I'll fucking kill that skank next time I see her, moll.”

I want to smile
, Gabe’s slurring and trying to stand up straight, the whole scene is comical, but I have a bad feeling and a million thoughts zooming through my mind. Who is she? What was she doing with Gabe? Why was she here? Do Gabe and his family realise how often they use the word fuck?

Cooper walks towards me
. Kisses my cheek and punches the code in to open the driveway gates. As they slide open he drives Gabe’s car in and parks it on the drive. Zac now has hold of Gabe as he can't hold himself up. One arm across his back, one across his chest. Once Cooper has all the cars safely parked he helps Zac with Gabe. We all head back inside and up the stairs. Gabriel does not stop talking the whole time he is being dragged and carried up the stairs. As the boys get him to the top where I am waiting his eyes lock with mine, as best they can. He blinks repeatedly as he tries to focus and he shakes and shrugs his brothers off but they hold him up as he stumbles towards me. My stomach lurches and I think I actually let out a small moan or whimper as I see the lipstick around his mouth and the makeup on his T-shirt.

“
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren it's not my fault. They didn't tell me, they didn’t, they didn't warn me. I didn't know. I love you so much but I didn't know it would hurt like this, I don't know what to say, what to do, I don’t know what to do with all this stuff. It’s all in my head and in my chest, and all in my belly Lauren. I don’t know where to put it all? I'm so scared Lauren, please don’t leave me.”

He starts to cry and I start
to cry with him – I look across to Stella, she’s also in tears.

“
They're my big brothers, Zachary and ... and Coop. My brothers, but not Stella, no she’s my baby sister, but they – the brothers, they didn't tell me about this love shit. They didn't say it was so fuckin good soooo fuckin good and so fuckin’ bad at the same time and I don't know Lauren. I just don’t know what to do? I need you, just to breathe, I need you. What do I do with all that, ehh? Do you know, can you tell me?”

He
reaches out and wipes my tears onto his thumb and then sucks them into his mouth and I let out a loud sob. I did this, I’ve broken him, driven him to get into this mess, driven him to her.

He
falls down on to his knees and all I can say is, “You kissed her Gabe, you fucking kissed her! How could you, what have you done? Was it just a kiss?”

I can barely breathe, how could he do this to us, I knew I would never be enough for him and this just proves it, I want to vomit, I want to curl up in a ball and I want to punch his fucking head in
.

“
Nah, nah Lauren he didn't, it was her not him. The barman told us what happened, he was fighting her off, he just kept telling her about you and how much he loves you but she wouldn't take no for an answer.” Zac defends his brother.

Gabe turns his head and looks at Coop and Zac saying, “They’re not good... They're not good brothers. They didn't save me, they didn't tell me.  They should have told me about all this love stuff and they should have saved me from her from fuckin Jackie. Then you, you Lauren, wouldn't be angry with me all the time. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want it. Why did she pick me? Why, why me?”

He sobs and I cry. What have I done?

“I would know I would, I would know how to love you. If those brothers had done their job. It’s their fault. It's all their fault.”

He blinks and tears roll down his cheeks. It kills me to see him in so much pain. I wipe my hand over his mouth. Not wanting my lips to go where the blonde moll’s have been, and then I press my lips to his and wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into my chest and rock him backwards and forwards. The room is silent, aside from the sound of a few sobs and sniffs. I look up at Cooper who is crying badly. Sam has hold of Zac, his face buried in her neck, his shoulders shaking as he cries, still holding Gabe up all the while.

“What does he mean? What is he talking about? Why does he need saving from Jackie?” Stella's voice gets higher as she speaks.

“Let's get Gabe into bed,” Jenny suggests.

“No… No. Let’s all stop ignoring me and treating me like a fucking baby. What is he going on about Jackie for, what's gone on, Lauren, do you know? Because it seem that everyone else around here does, except for stupid Stella that is.”

“Stell, I'm gonna put Gabe to bed. Then I will be with you okay. Let me deal with him first, then we’ll talk.”

I turn my head and smile at her as best I can. What do I say? It’s really up to the boys and Gabe to decide what to tell her. It's certainly not my place. With tears still on their cheeks the boys follow me as they carry Gabe into the bedroom and lay him face down on the bed. Turning his head to the side, just in case he's sick. We all step back and look at him and then at each other.

“He's drunk, he didn't mean what he said, and he doesn't blame you. He loves you both, you know that right?” Is all I can think to say to them.

Gabe’s going to be so pissed off with himself when I tell him what he's said to his brothers tomorrow.

“But it's all true, what he said is all true. We fucked up. Our Mum died, we are his big brothers, and we should have looked after him better. Our step Mum fucked and abused him, right under our noses, in our home. Our Dad was being led around by his dick; we had Jen and Sam and just left him to deal with it all, and he did, by punishing every woman that he came into contact with. He fucked them, then he fucked them off and we laughed and encouraged him, he never let anyone get close to him, till you, and we haven't even prepared him for that. He's thirty five and apart from Ava and all of us, he's never been in love; he’s never allowed himself to be in love.  He told me the other day that he had no idea how different making love was to just rooting someone, that’s so unlike Gabe, I should have taken him seriously, and all I did was throw a balled up piece of paper at him, laugh and call him a wanker. I should have known he wanted to talk about shit. I should have realised, this is all new to him, he doesn’t know how to handle all these feelings.” Cooper starts to cry again as he speaks and I put my arms around him.

“Please Coop don't, he's gonna be mortified when he sobers up and realises what he's said. You're his brothers, not his parents. You had no idea what Jackie was doing and as soon as you found out, you put a stop to it.”

“And what the fuck did Jackie do? Someone better tell me now, else I'm going to Dads and I will ask her outright to tell me.”

We all look up at Stella standing in the doorway leaning against the frame looking breathtakingly beautiful and as angry as fuck.

“Come in here and close the door,” Zac says to her.

I don't want to hear this. My heart just can't take any more pain. I look up at the boys as Stella comes in and sits on the bed. She kisses Gabe’s cheek and runs her fingers through his hair with a look of complete reverence for her big brother.

I kiss the top of her head, then Gabe’s cheek, then each of the boys.

“I can't be here for this, I'm gonna go get us all a drink. Please watch my baby. He's as precious to me as he is to all of you. Even if he is a complete dickhead sometimes.”

The girls are all sitting or standing around the kitchen bench. They are deep in conversation, until they see me and it suddenly goes quiet.

“Don't mind me. Keep talking, please.”

Jo passes me a glass of wine.

“Sit down and shut the fuck up. What's happening in there? You ok
ay?”

I take the wine and walk straight into her open arms allowing her to give me the biggest cuddle, I cuddle her back. Without putting down my wine, and surprisingly, without shedding any tears. I let out a big sigh.

“Christ Lauren. You must be exhausted from all this drama. The girls have been giving me all the deets about the 'Evil Stepmother' and what happened over the weekend. Gotta say, I'm disappointed darl. You really should have beat the bitch.”

“Oh don’t worry. She beat her with words, Jackie’s face was a picture,” Jen remarks.

I manage a very weak smile as Jo looks at me. My brain is far too exhausted to think of a witty reply; instead I kiss her cheek and tell her that I love her. I look at Sam and Jen.

“I'm sorry about all of that; you two know more than me how much Gabe loves his brothers. It's just the piss talking, but I am sorry anyway.”

They both look tearful. Making me feel terrible. Sam comes around the bench, giving me a cuddle.

“What's happening in there?”

She asks, nodding her head towards the bedroom.

“Well Gabe’s out cold and I think the boys are about to tell Stella about her brothers past relationship with Cruella. How do you think she will handle that?”

Jens hand covers her mouth as she shakes her head, Sam finishes her glass of wine and lets out a big sigh.

“Stell will be
okay. Pissed off but she can handle it. Those boys treat her like a princess but I think she's harder than all of them. She never knew her Mum, I think that has got to have had an effect on her, growing up with just her brothers, Charlie wasn’t there for her much, not once he met Jackie, and she certainly was never there for her. Jen and I have had more input in raising that girl, she has never liked Jackie. Not from day dot. The only thing I am worried about is that she might go straight to Charlie's and rip Jackie’s head off her shoulders. She is very protective of her Dad and even more so of Gabe, I think she has known for a long while that something bad happened to hurt him and make him the way he has always been with women but I think she just assumed it was because of their Mum dying. She'll be right, you wait and see.”

We move outside for a cigarette and talk amongst ourselves about the days, weekends, weeks and past months events and even though it is me that it has all happened to. I still can’t
believe it all to be true. My life has turned into
Eastenders, Real Housewives
of wherever
and
Revenge
all rolled into one, as Sam said, you couldn’t make this shit up.

The boys come out of the bedroom first, looking tired and teary. A lone tear instantly rolls down my cheek as I think about how I felt when I first found out about what Jackie had done to Gabe. They each go straight into the arms of their waiting wives and I feel an instant pang of jealousy and loneliness. I've missed Gabe today and can't wait to slide into bed with him. After I've punched his fucking lights out that is. I could kill him for what he has said and done today, but then we have both been guilty of saying things we didn’t mean. Love, it brings out the best and the very worst in people, and Gabe, he brings out feelings that I never knew I had in me. I’m a grown woman, I have raised two children, run a home and a successful business and yet around him, around Gabe, I turn into one of those teenage girls you see on telly who cry and go to pieces when they meet their idols, I ache for him when he’s not around. Everywhere, even right now, despite all the drama, I want nothing more than to feel him inside me. Is this normal, is this how it should always have been and I’ve been missing out or do I really need to get a grip on reality. After all, he is not my idol, he is my equal and despite me saying some spiteful things. Tonight he fucked up royally and I need to process that and decide how we move on.