Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) (29 page)

Nick
     Why?

Helen
     Because I don’t want to. Because I don’t want you here.

Nick
     I did it for you.

Helen
     Fuck off.

Nick
     I did it because you wanted me to.

Helen
     What is this bollocks? This is bollocks.

Nick
     You said: ‘That bastard is the scum of the earth and someone should kill that bastard.’

Helen
     We all said that stuff. We said rubbish / like that all the time.

Nick
     I’m not blaming . . . Listen. Your dad, when they laid off your dad, when that bastard buys it up and they’re gonna asset-strip, chuck your dad away and you wanted him dead.

Helen
     I was twenty. Everyone was a fascist or a scab or a class traitor. ‘Eat the rich.’ We used to chant that, I mean what the fuck did that mean – ‘eat the rich’?

Nick
     And you said to me . . . ‘He should be killed.’

Helen
     Did I?

Nick
     Yes.

Helen
     Then I was very stupid.

Nick
     And I said: ‘I’ll do it.’

Helen
     I don’t remember. Because I can’t imagine that I ever thought –

Nick
     It was real for me. Scab, class traitor. I wasn’t playing.

Helen
     Yeah, well, we all thought it was real at the time. At the time, we all believed it. Do you still believe it?

Nick
     I’ve only just got out. I don’t understand anything now.

Helen
     Well, everything’s changed.

Nick
     And you’ve changed?

Helen
     Of course. Look at me.

Nick
     Let me stay.

Helen
     No.

Nick
     Looking at you now, I still feel a lot of the same stuff. About you.

Helen
     You’re looking at a different person.

Nick
     Same feelings.

Helen
     Yeah?

Nick
     Yeah. And what are you feeling right now?

Helen
     I don’t know.

Nick
     A few of the old feelings?

Helen
     Maybe . . . Yes, a few of the old feelings.

Nick
     A couple of days.

Helen
     . . . Okay.

Nick
     I want to learn . . . I want to understand how the world works now.

Helen
     Don’t ask me. You start with the little stuff . . . Okay?

Nick
     Alright.

Helen
     Bit by bit, you do what you can and you don’t look for the bigger picture, you don’t generalise.

Nick
     You were always a good teacher.

Helen
     Yeah?

Nick
     Yeah. You taught me a lot of stuff.

Helen
     What kind of stuff?

Nick
     All sorts of stuff.

They kiss.

Of course I’m a bit rusty on a few things. I need a bit of revision.

Helen
     Then you sit here and revise on your own.

Nick
     There’s a word for that.

Helen
     I wouldn’t know.

Nick
     That’s all you get in prison.

Helen
     That’s all you’re getting here.

Nick
     That’s a shame.

Helen
     I’ve got to go now. I’ll see you later.

Nick
     And what’s your meeting about, councillor?

Helen
     Boring stuff.

Nick
     Go on.

Helen
     It’s nothing . . . Boring stuff.

Nick
     Tell me. Tell me.

Helen
     It’s bus companies. They’ve deregulated the buses and now there’s hundreds of different buses whizzing around and the whole thing’s a mess and I’m trying to coordinate . . .

Nick
     You’re making the buses run on time?

Helen
     I’m trying to make the buses run on time. Yes.

Nick
     Fucking hell.

Helen
     You see? I knew you’d do this. I knew you’d be like that.

Nick
     Like what?

Helen
     That you’d sneer.

Nick
     Did I sneer?

Helen
     Yes you did. Great big fucking sneer.

Nick
     Well . . .

Helen
     Well? What? What?

Nick
     It’s a bit petty, isn’t it?

Helen
     To you. Maybe to you. But if you’re stuck on some shitty estate and the only way to get out, the only way to get to the shops is a bus / and at the moment there is no bus, then no it’s actually very important actually.

Nick
     Get to the shops? Get to the shops?

Helen
     We’re actually making people’s lives better. What did you ever do, / Nick? What did we ever do? Sure talk, talk, talk, march, march, protest. Ban this, overthrow that, but what did we ever do?

Nick
     And what about the big targets? Why are there shitty estates? Why are they there in the first place? / You should be going for the big targets.

Helen
     Oh yes. Come the revolution, down they come. But while we’re waiting . . .

Nick
     Let’s fiddle with the fucking bus timetables. / So fucking petty.

Helen
picks up
Nick
’s clothes.

Helen
     Tell me one concrete thing we ever did. Go on, Nick. Fuck off. Fuck off.

Nick
     I’m sorry. I . . .

Helen
     I don’t want you here. I don’t want to see you. I don’t ever want to see you. Go.

Nick
     Helen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I . . .

Helen
     Goodbye. There’s a whole big bad world out there waiting for you. Fuck off.

Airport.

Nadia
     Because we all have our own journeys that we’re travelling. Each of us has our own path and, of course, we can’t always see the path, sometimes it seems like there’s no sense in anything, you know? But of course there is. Everything makes sense.

Victor
     You think so?

Nadia
     Oh yes, of course, yes.

Victor
     I don’t think so.

Nadia
     No?

Victor
     I think everything is crazy. The whole world is fucking crazy.

Nadia
     Maybe it seems –

Victor
     Yes. Everything is totally crazy. I like that. I’m a crazy person.

Nadia
     No you’re not.

Victor
     Yeah, totally fucking crazy.

Nadia
     I don’t think you’re crazy.

Victor
     Every day I wake up and I say ‘Another fucking crazy day. What am I going to do today?’

Nadia
     I think you’re a very beautiful person.

Victor
     You like my body?

Nadia
     On the inside. Beautiful on the inside.

Victor
     You don’t like my body?

Nadia
     Of course, you’ve got a great body.

Victor
     I’ve got a fucking fantastic body. I could have been in porno. Body like this I could be huge porno star. Guys go crazy for my body.

Nadia
     You’ve had lots of partners?

Victor
     Please?

Nadia
     You’ve had a lot of boyfriends?

Victor
     Boyfriends, yes. Many boyfriends. They go crazy for my body. But also my father, yes? My father and my brother go crazy for my body.

Nadia
     So . . . you’re close as a family?

Victor
     Please?

Nadia
     A very loving family.

Victor
     Yes I think so. Yes. My brother he likes to photograph me, you know? Polaroid? Since I was fourteen. Polaroid of my body. See? (
Offers
Nadia
the Polaroids
.) See? Fucking fantastic body.

Nadia
     And that’s your . . . ? Right. Right.

Victor
     And I say to my brother when I am fourteen: I could be in porno.

Nadia
     Well that’s great.

Victor
     Yes?

Nadia
     Yes, I think it’s great to have an ambition. Something you want and really go for it.

Victor
     One day I was so fucking crazy I took Polaroids and I . . . please word is . . . I . . . scan Polaroids on home page and I say: ‘Look at this great body. Great body, crazy guy. Any other crazy guys out there want to do stuff with this fucking crazy body?’

Nadia
     Well I think that’s fantastic. No I do. To be open.

Victor
     Yes. Open. Hungry hole.

Nadia
     To possibilities.

Victor
     And what do you want?

Nadia
     Well . . .

Victor
     What are you going for?

Nadia
     I don’t know yet. I’m still trying to find out, you know? Where I really belong in the universe. Nothing’s fixed for me, which is cool in a way. Sometimes you just have to let yourself be open to possibilities before you can really choose, you know?

Victor
     When will Tim be back? I really like the idea of Japanese guy. For one hundred days every year he will keep me in cave.

Nadia
     But you chose Tim.

Victor
     I just want to be in London.

Nadia
     But Tim brought you here. Tim paid for you to be here.

Victor
     Everyone in London gave up on that meaning bullshit years ago, you know? And now they enjoy theirself. I love trash, okay? I like it when everything is trash. Trash music, trash food, trash people. I love these things.

Nadia
     I don’t think Tim is trash.

Victor
     Oh yes, he told me. His home page: ‘I’m one hundred per cent pure trash.’

Nadia
     He may have said that . . .

Victor
     And I say: ‘Yes. This is the guy I want to meet. This trash guy.’

Nadia
     I think Tim’s self-esteem –

Victor
     Please?

Nadia
     I don’t think Tim always values himself. But actually, Tim is a very beautiful person. A very loving person.

Victor
     Oh no. This is not possible.

Nadia
     Yes. A person with a lot of love to give.

Victor
     Why didn’t he tell me?

Nadia
     Yes. And actually a very spiritual person.

Victor
     He has lied to me. Fuck this. Why didn’t he say?

Nadia
     I don’t know. Maybe he was ill and in a vulnerable position.

Victor
     Ill?

Nadia
     Maybe.

Victor
     He is ill?

Nadia
     No I don’t . . .

Victor
     Why does this happen to me? This always happens to me. I’m a crazy guy, you know, and I just want to have fun, just want to enjoy . . . Why do these guys fucking lie to me? Loving, spiritual, vulnerable, ill. Fuck this.

Nadia
     What are you doing?

Victor
     I’m going.

Nadia
     But Tim isn’t back yet.

Victor
     I don’t want to see this liar.

Nadia
     Please wait for him. He’ll be back with food in a minute, then we can / get the tube.

Victor
     No. I don’t need this.

Nadia
     He wants you here. He’s been looking forward to . . . It means so much / to him.

Victor
     Means? Means? Fuck this ‘means’. Nothing means anything, okay?

He moves to exit.

I find a guy to pay my fare out of here.

Nadia
     Who?

Victor
     Any guy. They’re all crazy for me. Some guy will fly me to Japan and I will live in cave.

Enter
Tim
with sweets and cherryade.

Tim
     Daddy’s here. Look at this. Total crap, love it. Total fucking shite the lot of it. Not a vitamin in sight, fabulous. Lucky bag for everyone. For you.

Nadia
     Thank you.

Tim
     And for you.

Victor
     No.

Tim
     It’s for you. Special trash delivery.

Victor
     I don’t want this.