Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) (30 page)

Tim
     Cherryade? Let’s all have cherryade.

Victor
     Fucking bastard.

Tim
     Who’s a . . . ?

Victor
     You, you fucking bastard.

Tim
     What have I . . . ?

Nadia
     Please. I’m sorry.

Victor
     Spiritual? She says you’re spiritual.

Tim
     Well she shouldn’t have done that. Why do you always do this?

Nadia
     I didn’t know.

Tim
     Just when I’ve met someone. Just when I’m having some fun at last.

Nadia
     I just wanted him to understand / that you have feelings.

Tim
     There’s nothing to understand.

Victor
     I’m going.

Tim
     No.

Nadia
     That you feel something.

Tim
     No I don’t. I don’t feel anything, alright?

Nadia
     But you do, I know you do / and I know you want someone in your life because you’ve got this need . . .

Tim
     Don’t you tell me. I want to have fun.

Nadia
     And we feel the need.

Tim
     Just because you’re . . . Just because you’ve got no one.

Nadia
     I’ve got Simon.

Tim
     Yeah?

Nadia
     Sometimes, yes, often I’ve got Simon.

Tim
     And look what Simon does to you. Look at how Simon hurts / you all the time.

Nadia
     No. I’m not listening to all this negative . . . No, I’m going now. I’ll make my own way back. I’m going. And who knows? I might meet someone on the way back. Because I’m open, I’m at peace with myself, I don’t have to . . .

Tim
     What? What?

Nadia
     Pay for a . . . sex . . . slave.

Nadia
exits.

Tim
     She shouldn’t have said that, it isn’t true.

Victor
     You don’t want slave?

Tim
     That I feel anything, it isn’t true.

Victor
     So. This doesn’t mean anything?

Tim
     It means nothing.

Victor
     And you’re trash?

Tim
     We’re both trash. Come on, eat something, eat some rubbish.

He gets his pills out.

And Nadia’s trash too really. She’s alright, you’ll get to like her after a bit. She’s been good to me. We have fun together.

He takes the pills.

Victor
     You are ill?

Tim
     No.

Victor
     She told me this, you are ill.

Tim
     No.

Victor
     Then what is this? This is medicine.

Tim
     This? This is total trash. More delicious chemical shite to fill my body with.

Victor
     I don’t want to be near ill people. They have ugly bodies.

Tim
     Alright.

Victor
     I could be in any country in the world with any guy.

Tim
     But I paid for you. I own you.

Victor
     Please. What is it like to be ill?

Tim
     Are you feeling sorry for me?

Victor
     No.

Tim
     So what are you feeling?

Victor
     Nothing.

Tim
     Good boy, because I warn you, you feel anything, you’re out, okay? And you pay your own way home.

Victor
     Okay.

Tim
     Come on.

He holds up a sweet.

Train in the tunnel. Chug, chug, chug.

He feeds
Victor
.

Good.

Nadia
’s flat
.

Dark.

Nick
     Where do you wanna . . . ?

Nadia
     Through here.

Enter
Nadia
, supported by
Nick
. We can only see their silhouettes.
Nadia
is wearing a knee-length coat.

Nadia
     Oh shit. Shit.

Nick
     C’mon. You’re alright now.

Nadia
     Fuck. I feel . . .

Nick
     Yeah?

Nadia
     Nauseous.

Nick
     Yeah?

Nadia
     Like I’m gonna . . . No. No. I’m alright. I’m alright.

Nick
     Right.

Nadia
turns a light on. We can now see that her lip is cut and swollen.

Nadia
     That’s better.

Pause.

Well . . . thanks.

Nick
     That’s alright.

Nadia
     No really, thanks. You were amazing. Just leapt in there out of the blue like –

Nick
     Yeah, well . . . I don’t like to see a bloke do that to a woman.

Nadia
     Of course not.

Nick
     I don’t like men who / don’t respect . . .

Nadia
     Right.

Nick
     I can’t stand that.

Nadia
     Of course you can’t. Look. I expect you need to . . .

Nick
     Yeah.

Exit
Nadia
to kitchen.
Nick
hesitates. Is he supposed to leave? Decides to wait. Enter
Nadia
with a packet of frozen food held up to her face. Doesn’t see
Nick
.

Nick
     Who was he?

Nadia
     Oh. Hi. I’d just filed you away. In here. Past tense.

Nick
     Was he your boyfriend?

Nadia
     I don’t know. / I’m fine now if you need to . . .

Nick
     You don’t know?

Nadia
     I knew this would come in handy. In the fridge when I moved in. Two years ago.

Nick
     You don’t know / if he’s your boyfriend?

Nadia
     And I thought: It’s got to be good for something. Obviously I wasn’t going to eat it. I mean ‘Best before December 1984’, you’re not going to eat it, are you?

Nick
     How can you not know if / he’s your boyfriend?

Nadia
     But I thought: Hold on to it. Everything has its value. Everything is of use. Don’t you agree?

Nick
     Who is he? A stranger?

Nadia
     No. Not a stranger.

Nick
     So? Ex-boyfriend? Ex-husband? / Pimp or . . .

Nadia
     Oooo . . . labels, labels. Simon’s a friend who I shag once in a while. If we’re in the mood.

Nick
     And who once in a while beats you about.

Nadia
     He had a difficult childhood.

Nick
     He’s not making much of a go at being an adult.

Nadia
     He’s doing the best he can with the knowledge that he has.

Nick
     Yeah?

Nadia
     Yes.

She moves to the ansaphone, pushes play.

Ansaphone
(
female voice
)
, ‘Hi. Me returning your call returning my call returning your call returning my call. / Et cetera. And so on. Ad infinitum. So. Call me.’

Nadia
(
laughs
)     Can you believe it? Three months of messages and we’ve never actually spoken?

Ansaphone
(
male voice
)
, ‘Hello sexy gorgeous sexy you. / You were gorgeous, I was gorgeous. Let’s do it again.’

Nadia
     Creep. Big, big mistake. I don’t think so.

Pause.

Look. I’m fine now. Really, I’m okay. So if you wanna . . . you probably need to get back to your boyfriend.

Nick
     No, no.

Nadia
     You need to carry on looking for a boyfriend?

Nick
     No.

Nadia
     No?

Nick
     I’m . . . y’know . . . hetero . . . straight.

Nadia
     Really?

Nick
     Yeah, really. I mean, don’t I look like I’m . . . ?

Nadia
     You look like . . .

Nick
     A / convict

Nadia
     A convict. You look like a convict or a poof. And since you’re not a convict . . .

Nick
     I’m not a poof.

Nadia
     So what are you?

Nick
     I was just making my way along that street . . .

Nadia
     Which is a very poofy street.

Nick
     To get to another street where they have a club with dancing.

Nadia
     Do you like dancing?

Nick
     I’m not much of a dancer.

Nadia
     Bet you / could be.

Nick
     I can’t dance. But this club. They have like girls who dance on tables. With just little . . . things on.

Nadia
     Little things?

Nick
     Little . . . yes.

Nadia
     Hussies.

Nick
     Yeah.

Nadia
     What does a nice bloke like you want with hussies like that?

Nick
     Company.

Nadia
     Lonely?

Nick
     . . . Yeah.

Pause.
Nick
leans in to her. Kisses her. She screams out.

Nadia
     Fuck. Fuck.

Nick
     I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Nadia
     Bleeding again now.

Nick
     I’m really sorry.

Nadia
     Stupid cunt.

Exit
Nadia
to bathroom.

Nick
     Is there anything I can . . . ?

Nadia
(
off
)     Yeah. Fuck off.

Nick
     Alright then. I’ll do that. Yeah. I’ll fuck off and next time Simon’s beating the fucking shit out of you I won’t . . . Yeah.

He starts to go. The phone rings.

Your phone’s . . .

Ansaphone
(
male voice
)
, ‘Hey listen, I just wanted to say how profoundly sorry . . . look, I know I fucked up . . . and I really thought I’d broken this pattern of . . . I’m really trying to work though this . . . control issue or whatever it is. I’m really . . . I want to understand why I have this need to hurt you. And I want to, I need to talk about it. And I thought if I came over. Look. I know you’re there. I know you’re listening to this. And. I want to wash the blood away. I want to . . . I’m coming over now. I’m . . .’

Nick
picks up the phone.

Nick
     Simon? . . . It doesn’t matter who I am. It doesn’t matter.

Nadia
enters. She has a hand mirror and a flannel for mopping up the blood.
Nick
doesn’t see her
.

Nick
(
to phone
)     Because I’m a great big enormous angry bastard and I’m staying here, so don’t you come anywhere fucking near her, alright? Alright?

Nick
puts the phone down
.

Nadia
     You’re quite a frightened person, aren’t you?

Nick
     What?

Nadia
     A frightened person. And you’re an angry person.

Nick
     Well, yeah.

Nadia
     Yes. They’re often very linked. Fear and anger. I’m a nice person.

Nick
     Yeah.

Nadia
     No. I am. Which is not such an easy thing to say. I mean I can say it now. I’m a nice person. But that’s quite a new thing for me, you know?

Nick
     Right.

Nadia
     We had to practise. With a mirror.

She looks into the mirror.

I’m a nice person.

Nick
     I see.

Nadia
     I had to be given permission to do that, you know? Because before, of course, no one was giving me permission but now . . . And what about you?

She holds out the mirror.

Give it a go. If you’re ready to . . . give it a go.

Nick
looks in the mirror.

Nadia
     What are you thinking?

Nick
     I . . .

Nadia
     Don’t censor yourself. First thing that comes into your head.

Nick
     Fucking old.

Nadia
     Yes?

Nick
     I think I look fucking old.