Perfectly Shattered (12 page)

Stress was something she’d never handled well. Dating was supposed to be fun. She was still young, and it was the time when she could live to the fullest. That was what everyone always said. It wasn’t that way in the real world.

Cami knew things happened that changed people, things nothing could be done about. Because it was too late. It was just too late, and that was the worst feeling. She blocked it out of her mind; it wasn’t something she wanted to ponder right then.

She had a date with Bradan, and though he could really get under her skin, Cami knew being with him was what she wanted. Would they end up in bed together? She wasn’t sure. Not wanting to be one among many, she thought of holding out.

Holding out for what? Commitment? She wasn’t ready for that. Though she resented Bradan for wanting to keep things casual, there was also comfort in the knowledge that there was no pressure. Cami couldn’t give her heart fully to a man. Maybe someday she would be able to do that. But not yet.

Chapter 13

Belltown had some good rentals, especially if the unit was on a top floor. Ian’s apartment looked out on the bay and the city. It had a terrace for taking advantage of the view, though that wasn’t needed. The beauty below was visible from every window. Cami could see Lake Union and even the Space Needle.

It wasn’t a college party, so wasn’t likely to get out of control. But techies had been known to blow off steam, Bradan had told her, so be prepared. The techno beat of Beyoncé’s “Run The World” reverberated against the walls and shook the windows.

It was so loud it made introductions difficult. In a way that made it easier, because Cami didn’t need to remember all the names. No one could hear anyway. They wove through people to get to the kitchen where the drinks were.

Cami wore her hair long and straight. With more makeup than usual and leather pumps, she might have been overdressed for the crowd. But it was a company party, after all. And she felt more attractive in her dressy wear. Being with a hunk of a guy demanded she looked like she fit the role as his date.

Not easy. Bradan filled out the black jeans he wore quite nicely. With just a beige cotton tee covered with a darker long-sleeved shirt, he looked ready to relax. He certainly wasn’t trying to impress anyone. Leaving the shirt unbuttoned, and with the low neck of the shirt beneath, he looked confidently sexy.

Which he was. From the moment they entered, female eyes turned his way, and Cami knew she needed to keep a tight grip on him. His cologne was a touch more potent for his party mode. He wrapped one arm around her possessively, and briefly she felt protected.

It was not to last. Bradan was popular and knew everyone at the party. She tagged along with him, trying to gain some level of comfort. It was a night to drink, no question. The beer he’d snagged out of the cooler was going down fast, and Cami drank her white wine, trying to keep up.

The music never lagged. If anything the volume increased, and she dragged Bradan out to the terrace for a short reprieve from the sound. Her eardrums were starting to hurt.

“I haven’t seen the host yet,” she said.

“He’s around. It’s crowded. Not all of these people are from our company. Some are clients, other people he knows.” Bradan swigged the last of his beer.

Looking out at the night view, Cami took a deep breath. It was cold but she didn’t mind.

“I’m glad you came with me,” he said, and ran his fingers down her arm. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look?”

Cami cocked her head. “You say that to all the women.”

“Always the pessimist.”

“Somebody has to be.”

There were trays of food on the outside tables—some stuffed mushrooms and other one-bite appetizers. “Want some?”

Cami nodded and watched Bradan load a few of the items onto plates for each of them. He handed one to her, and she sampled one of the mushrooms. “Mmm, not bad.”

Bradan devoured half the food on his plate then looked up. “So, what’s the deal with Jeremy?”

“Nosy, aren’t you?”

“I just want to know.”

Cami put down her plate and took a sip of wine. “I know you want to know. But it’s my personal life, isn’t it? I don’t ask you about the women you see.”

His eyes gleamed. “No. You just get mad about me seeing them.”

“That’s not fair. I went along with the idea of a casual relationship with us. That doesn’t mean I don’t see your habits as excessive.”

“Who is to say? What’s excessive to one may be just enough for another.”

Cami kicked his ankle. “You’re teasing me.”

He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “So you’re going not going to tell me about all your boyfriends?”

She batted her eyelashes. “I have to have some mystique.”

Bradan looked at her, and her body tingled. His lips were close, and Cami was easing into dangerous territory. “You have plenty of mystique, baby,” he said. “I can’t figure you out.”

Another group of partiers converged on the terrace, leaning out to see the view better. They might as well have not been there for all the effect it had on Bradan. He didn’t take his eyes off Cami.

He leaned in, and she put her arms around his neck, still holding her mostly empty glass of wine. Waiting, Bradan breathed close to her. “I love how you smell,” he whispered. “You make me insane.”

Cami’s heart pounded, but she could neither flee nor move the fraction of an inch to kiss him. Like prey in the sight of a predator, she froze, wholly under his spell. The man was impossible to resist.

It mattered little what decisions she made about the relationship. When Bradan was so close she could feel his body heat, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him, and she knew it. Need took hold of her, running deep, to her core.

His lips touched hers, and the closeness she felt with him came to life. Pressed into a deep kiss, Cami melted into him, wanting all he would give. She took his tongue against hers.

Bradan leaned back, leaving her breathless, but his eyes gave nothing away. Did he feel as she did, or was he just so good with women that Cami couldn’t tell the difference? Before she could think about it, a voice interrupted them.

“Hey, man. I heard you were here.” A man with steel-gray eyes, short-cropped brown hair, and a muscular build that could rival Bradan’s walked over to them.

“Ian.” Turning, Bradan put his arm around Cami. “This is Camille Joubert.”

“Good to meet you. I’m glad you could make the party. Bradan is a hard worker, needs to cut loose sometimes.” Ian shook her hand quickly then nodded toward the door. “Looks like you need more to drink.”

Cami looked at her glass. “Yes, I could use that. And good to meet you too. Just call me Cami.”

Ian flashed a charming smile. “Cami.” With a flourish of his arm, he allowed her to walk inside first.

In the short time they’d been outside, the party had picked up steam. More friends had arrived. The talking and laughing had reached a dull roar, but was still drowned out by the pounding music. “Turn Me On” by David Guetta played, another techno beat.

In the kitchen, Ian rustled around for white wine and refilled Cami’s glass. He looked over at Bradan.

“Got any whiskey?”

“For you? Sure.” Ian opened a high cupboard and put the bottle on the counter. “Keep it close.” He winked and left the room.

The kitchen was a popular hangout, and Bradan had to work his way through several couples to finally find the cupboard with a whiskey glass. “I would drink from the bottle, but it wouldn’t be too classy.”

He poured the whiskey, and alarm bells went off in Cami’s head. It was a party, no reason not to drink. But she hadn’t been with him when he’d been downing the whiskey. Not as his date, anyway. She’d only witnessed him in the aftermath of it, and it hadn’t been pretty.

The kiss on the terrace had shaken Cami. If she’d known she wanted Bradan before, that fact was clearer than ever now. The upset over the note he’d left her had faded into oblivion under his burning kiss. She could get furious with him, but hadn’t stayed that way. If there was a chance to be with him, Cami would take it.

However, the kiss was the high point of the evening, and it went downhill from there. The bite-sized food did little to slow the effects of alcohol, either his or hers. On her third glass of wine, or maybe it was her fourth, the room looked a bit hazy.

The conversation buzzed, though Cami had no idea what people were talking about. The music beat into her, and she started moving with the sound. Bradan talked and shouted, even made jokes that various people found hilarious. Though she somehow missed the punch line.

As her level of sobriety diminished, her annoyance with Bradan’s flirting increased. If flirting it was. It sure seemed like it. Every time she turned around, some woman beamed at Bradan about something he’d said, or was eyeing his sculpted body. And with all the alcohol in everyone’s system, nobody was being discreet.

Even relaxed, a thought nagged her that she shouldn’t be drinking. It tended to stir up emotions better left dormant. But it was too late to listen. The more she drank, the more she didn’t care, and the more annoyed she got with Bradan.

Who did he think he was to bring her to a party as his date and then ignore her? The kiss early in the proceedings seemed long before, and did nothing to placate her rising temper. For a while, Cami kept things under control.

She had some sense about her, even when buzzed. But Bradan continued to drink, and she’d lost sight of the bottle. For all she knew, he’d emptied it. As she turned a corner, a handsome man in a blazer stopped her.

“Hi,” he said with a dreamy look on his face. “Looking for me?”

The guy was handsome enough, and drunk like everyone else at the party. But Cami needed to find Bradan. “Not you. Someone else.”

The frown he gave her was clearly fake, and she moved on. There were so many people, and it was slow moving through them. One minute she’d been next to Bradan, the next he was nowhere to be seen.

She couldn’t find Ian either, and at a loss, she grabbed a woman she’d seen talking to him. “Seen Ian?” She said it right in her ear, so even in the noise she could be heard.

The woman shrugged. “Maybe in the theater room.”

Theater room. Where would that be? Cami edged around the walls, spotting couples kissing on the sofa, and others dancing in front of the speakers. But no one she knew. Down the hall were some open doors, and she heard voices.

But glancing inside, no luck. Then she saw some stairs. She took the short flight that led to a door. It was dark inside except for a huge screen with a movie playing. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness.

Dim light from the screen illuminated the room from time to time. The room had two levels. One was low in front, and viewers lounged around on pillows. Cami recognized
Interview With the Vampire
and admired Ian’s taste in movies.

Ian. She spotted him on a cushy sofa nestled on the upper level with his arm around a woman she’d seen earlier. They looked absorbed in the film, and Cami didn’t want to interrupt them. Bradan clearly wasn’t with them.

Whenever the light flickered, Cami scanned the room. Certain Bradan wasn’t among the viewers, she exited. It was annoying that she had to search for him. The party had lost all interest for her. She just wanted to get her date and leave.

Back down the stairs she went, stopping to consider her next move. Then she heard Bradan’s deep laugh. He sounded pretty soused. She followed the sound around a corner and spotted a closed door.

She heard it again. Cami turned the knob slowly and opened the door. The room was lit with some recessed overhead lighting, but it was enough to recognize who was there. The woman he’d called Tanya, the one he’d brought to the food tour, was in his arms.

The dark-haired woman giggled; neither of them had spotted Cami yet. Staring, angry and hurt, Cami witnessed Tanya lean up to kiss Bradan, but her eyes flashed to the door. Seeing that her attention was drawn there, Bradan looked over.

And he looked right into Cami’s eyes. She was royally pissed, and though she wanted to yell, couldn’t speak. Bradan started to walk toward her with Tanya clinging to his arm. And Cami ran. She plowed into anyone in her way, tears streaming down her face.

Once she hit the front door, she flew down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. At ground level, she burst out the front door and took off down the street. She had to get away. Bradan had used her.

He’d invited her to a party, God knows why, and then abandoned her. It was a slap in the face. It was rude. No, it was mean. Cami was furious, and the anger that welled inside made her heave sobs as she ran toward home.

Blocks back, she heard Bradan’s voice. He was calling her name. Bastard. Like she would stop for him, or even talk to him. He’d pushed it over the limit. No commitment was one thing, but making out with another woman right under her nose was over the line.

Cami got to the bottom of her stairs and flew up them. Inside, she locked the door and fell onto the sofa. With her head buried in her hands, she sobbed uncontrollably.

Pounding at the door, Bradan called her name.

She yelled back, “Go away. Leave me alone.”

“Please, let me talk to you.”

Cami stood, rigid with anger. She walked up to the door and yelled at it: “Fuck off.”

And that was the last she heard. She didn’t know if he went away, but at least he had shut up. There was no way she could talk to him, and she wasn’t sure she ever could again. The hurt went deep, and her heart was ripped apart. It wasn’t something
talking
could fix.

Chapter 14

Bradan had blown it big time, and he knew it. He stood outside Cami’s door, listening to her sobs. But she wouldn’t open up or talk to him. And he wasn’t sure she ever would.

The cold wind hit him and he braced against it, trying to come up with a way to get her to open the door. It wasn’t going to happen. He’d had plenty of whiskey, but not so much that he couldn’t see reality when it hit him in the face.