Penitence (2010) (24 page)

soft. I guess its the way I feel around you. Like... youre... oh, man, I sound like a freaking nutcase here. No, no. What do you feel? Tell me. I want to know. He looked into my eyes for a long moment before speaking. Youre special, thats all I can say about it. I see it in your eyes. Something... good radiates from you. I was flattered, pleased and overjoyed to have even the tiniest effect that Matthias had on me, on someone else. Thats sweet. Again, I lifted to my toes and kissed his cheek. He cupped my face. I want you, Zoe. I swallowed. Were in a church, I whispered, hoping to lighten the thick mood his request had cocooned around us. His concentrationhis desire, didnt break. You know what I mean, his voice was hoarse. Yeah, thats what scares me. I nodded. I... think this is something we should talk about... outside. His taut features held one, two seconds more, then a smile lifted his lips. Man... you drive me crazy, you know that? I dont mean to. Its okay. He stepped back, keeping a hold of my hands. Mischief lit his eyes. Youre right. We might get struck by lightning. I laughed. He looked at the closed doors. Ive never been to church. You want to go inside and listen for a while? He swung my right hand, eyed the door again, then nodded at me. * * * After the service, Weston offered to drive me home. Mom snuck me a grin when Weston was talking to Dad. I grinned back. Dad spent five minutes in parental mode, asking Weston if he enjoyed the service and what he thought about God and church. I cringed. Weston remained cool and respectful. Luke slinked behind like a tomcat, wary of Weston. When Abria let out a yowl that rattled the stained-glass windows, I grabbed the opportunity the distraction offered, said goodbye and tugged Weston out of the building. Your parents are nice. Weston started his truck. Yeah, theyre pretty cool. The cab warmed up like the desert in July once he turned on the heater. I was already sweating, thinking about Westons words, I want you. I didnt need hot air from the vents blasting in my face. Im burning up, mind? I reached over and turned it off. Westons teeth gleamed in the square set of his jaw. Youre the first girl whos had the guts to touch my controls. The obvious innuendo in the air kindled the already smoldering sparks between us. Is that so? He nodded. I dont let just anybody handle her. Her? This beast? Way too huge to be female. This bucks all testosterone. Weston laughed. Yeah, youve got a point. You can gender her anything you want, shes your beast. He rubbed his jaw. You floor me, Zoe. The things you say, the way you do what you want. Its hot. The heat in the cabeven minus the heaternotched up. I say what I say. I shrugged, trying to stay cool and collected even though my insides buzzed. If people dont like it, oh well. I wish I could be more that way. I dont know maybe its because Ive played team sports all my life and had coaches barking in my face. Im too conforming. You have to conform to be a team player. I never played team sports. I hate people telling me what to do. Dont get me wrong, I dont think Im right about it. In fact, Im trying to be more... I thought of Matthias and grinned. Obedient. Westons gaze shifted from light and jesting to serious and intense. He pulled the truck onto the first random street, yanked it to the curb and jerked to a stop, slamming the truck into park. His right arm stretched out behind me, cupped my neck and with the speed of a reptiles tongue, I was snugged against him, staring up into his round, brown eyes. My pulse skipped. When his desire spiked, it really spiked. And we were on a neighborhood streetnot what I called romantic. I pressed my palms against his rapidly rising and falling, brick-hard chest. His mouth came over mine when I opened my lips to suggest we ... wait. Thoughts of waiting, even changing locations were lost in the urgency of his mouth. Who needed romance? I slipped my arms around his neck, the low groan from his throat music to my female yearnings. Id never felt so consumedby someone. Except Matthias. Matthias. The desire racing rampant through my blood jolted to a halt. Was I being unfaithful? Not this question again. But there it was, like a tap dancer across the stage in my head. I... have... to... stop, I panted out. Westons eager mouth chased mine. Zoe, please. I... have... to... My words were swallowed away, Weston now pressing me back into the seat, both of us prostrate. My frame crushed easily under his muscled body. I wrangled my head to the side for a breath. Youre... smashing... me. Weston froze, then inched up like a drunk lying on the couch. Oh. Uh. Sorry. He sat, pulling me up with him. Did I hurt you? No, just... you weigh... a lot. I couldnt breathe. Man, sorry about that. The dazed look in his eye warned me he was still wound tight. He slid his right arm around my shoulders and brought me against him again but I stiffened. His gaze sharpened. Something wrong? Were on a street. He looked around. Yeah? Well, its not the ideal place to make out. I mean, passing cars can see us. The right side of his lip lifted. Kinda cool, right? What?! Okay, okay, Im joking. Ill drive us up to the mountains where we wont be disturbed. He put the idling truck in first gear. How about we wait. Wait? Zoe, I thought you were trying to be obedient. I elbowed him with a laugh. Youd like that, wouldnt you? Oh, yeah. This isnt the best time, I mean, with whats happened to Brady and everything, Westons exuberance vanished. I dont want to be your distraction rebound, you know? Weston sighed. Man. He looked over. But youre right. I shouldnt use you to distract myself. I mean, I wasnt. I dont want you to think Forget it. Your best friend just died. You have every right to have a lot on your mind. The funerals Wednesday. His tone softened. His mom wants me to say something. Oh, wow. He nodded, scrubbing his jaw again. Its weird because she never liked me. Always was kind of rude, you know, whenever I was over there. I was kind of shocked she asked me. And Brady changed. Thats why we stopped hanging. The stuff he was into... I couldnt be a part of it. Think about the good times you had and youll find something comforting to say. I patted his arm and the gesture brought his thoughtful gaze to mine. Im glad youre here... during this, he murmured. Will you come with me? To the funeral. Of course. Weston took me home. He parked his truck by the curb and extinguished the engine. I dont want you to get out yet. You... dont? He shook his head. Gripping the steering wheel with both hands, he stared out at the empty street through the front window. Sundays were quiet in Pleasant Grove, with families spending the day at church and engaged in togetherness which left the streets of town pretty empty. A soft wind rattled bare aspens, feathering through the extended branches of elegant evergreens that seemed to beckon wildlife with a protective place to stay for a while. You make me feel... safe, he said.

My pulse ribboned in pleasure. Id never been told that before. Oh. Cool. Its more than cool, Zoe. He looked at me. I told you I love you and I mean it. All the girls Ive been withtheyre... theyre nothing compared to you. I dont know how else to say this. Im not very good with words. You write, right? Maybe you cant understand how hard it is to say whats inside, but its hard. Touched, I rested my hand on his shoulder. I can see what youre feeling on your face, and that speaks truer than any words ever could. He turned, and covered my hand with his. Gratitude sharpened his gaze. Man. He shook his head, let out a soft laugh. I went to church today. Thats weird. I chuckled. I wont tell anyone. I dont care if you do. Whatever, you know? Exactly. Does this have to be over? My parents like me to be at home on Sunday. I know cheesy, right? But theyve been through a lot and I need to be there. He nodded, lowered his head. Its cool that you care about them like that. Dont get me wrong, I care about my parents, too. But theyre busy. My heart pinched. Even today? Theyre busy all the time. Mom works as much as Dad. He leaned back into the seat, sighed, but he still held my hand, now resting on the seat between us. I dont know. Sometimes I dont feel like a priority. Im sorry. He turned his face toward the window, as if hiding and the pinch in my heart deepened. Weston, social, popular it boy, was lonely. I squeezed his hand. You have brothers and sisters, right? A brother, but hes up at the U of Utah. His voice cracked. I could see now that the recent changes in his social frontline had left him without a lot of friends. Do you want to come inside? Spend the day with us? He turned and his expression lightened. Seriously? Yeah. My parents wont mind. Maybe you should ask, first. I dont need to. As long as you dont care if Abria stands on the table or climbs up your legs or eats your dinner, youre good to go. He laughed. No, thats cool. He studied me a moment, then lifted his hand to my face, his hand touching my cheek. My heart flipped over. Weston got out, shut the door and came around to open my side for me. Twenty-Four Mom and Dad extended themselves to Weston as if he was an old friend. The tight hesitation Weston carried across his shoulders when he walked into our house slowly eased as Sunday unfolded. He was amazed that Mom had prepared a meal of roast, potatoes, carrots and biscuits followed by chocolate cake. That the table was set with a tablecloth and matching plates. We use paper most of the time, he said. And take out. Abria buzzed around Weston like a bee around a daisy. And even though she didnt look right at him, she kept an eye on him in her peripheral vision, flapping, singing and laughing to get his attention. I held my breath. Weston was a little edgy at first, but when I picked her up and carried her to him, told her who he was, he seemed a little more at ease. My experience with introducing Abria to people told me a lot. Those who couldnt handle her, simply ignored her as if she didnt exist. Others tried to continue socializing with uncomfortable glances at her, like she was a loose, lit firecracker that might explode at any minute. Few addressed her, and treated her with kindness and compassion. I guess thats why Matthias stood out. I glanced around, half thinking I might see him somewhere, but of course I didnt. Abria was safe, so Matthias was somewhere doing good for someone else. Dad asked Weston about his teams: football, which was over, and basketball which was nearing an end. Weston talked like a player interviewed for sports talk or some other program. Luke hung in the room in listening-mode, watching Weston with cagey curiosity. At one point during dinner, Luke texted me. r u and him it? um maybe wt? Luke was still bothered by what had happened between Weston, Brady and I. Wariness remained in his eyes. Bangs couldnt hide his suspicion. Weston seemed itchier around Luke than he did around Abria, and the discomfort started to leak into the air like a putrid smell. Finally, Luke went upstairs. Moms disappointed gaze followed him, so did Dads, and I felt responsible for Lukes sudden absence though I was sure Weston hadnt picked up on the wrinkled moment. Your parents arent home today? Mom asked Weston as she loaded the dishwasher after our meal. Weston and I cleared the table, occasionally smiling at each other. They usually take off on Sundays. I heard Moms unspoken words in the silence that followed. Without their child? Oh. The meal was great, Mrs. Dodd, Weston said. Glad you liked it. To save Weston from further Mom-style interrogation, I tugged him toward the stairs after wed finished with the table. He followed me. Were going upstairs, I said. And, yes, Ill keep the door open. I shot Mom a grin. She lifted her brow at me and smiled. Weston. In my house. In my bedroom. My heart swooped in a rollercoaster twist. After we were inside, I turned. His arms wrapped around my waist. He kicked the door closed and pinned me against it in a thud. The door His lips pressed into mine, hot, fast and hard. Zing. My knees buckled. He was so deliciously kissable. So... hot. The hard planes of his chest pressed me into the unyielding wooden door. He panted out a kiss along my jaw, down my throat, his arms gripping me tighter, lifting me off my toes. My head spun. I gripped his face in my hands, urgently nipping at his lips. Roving through my body now was a ferocious hunger I hadnt realized I had. Weston easily carried me the few feet to my bed, where he gently eased us both onto the fluffy spread, stretching me out underneath him. Our lips broke contact and our eyes locked. I cared about Weston. He was gorgeous, sweet and so intensely engrossed in me; flattery seduced my feelings for him. In the back of my mind Matthias image floated in a ray of smiling light, reminding me that a greater portion of my heart yearned with the same intensityfor him. But Matthias wasnt mine. He wasnt here now, craving me. And being craved was delicious. Zoe, is this okay? Westons voice rasped. Are you kidding? I nodded, feeling lusciously feminine beneath his masculine body. His lips lowered again to mine, just as the door burst open. We both shot upright. Heart pounding, breath gone, I was relieved it was only Abria who had burst into the room, giggling. Weston shoved a hand into his hair. Man. Abria. Her timing stunk. I jumped to my feet and scooped her into my arms, both of us twirling in a half-circle. A solid beam of white appeared in my peripheral vision. Matthias. I stopped. He stood in the corner of the room, hands in his front pockets, body stony as marble. A lump lodged in my throat. The air suddenly charged with frustrated energy, bouncing off the walls and ceiling like a thousand white doves let loose. I swallowed. Abria slid from my arms to the floor. She saw Matthias and ran to him, then stood at his feet, jumping up and down, chirping like a baby chick. His attention remained riveted on me however, bringing my body into a sweat. Heat pressed into my back and Matthias tight gaze shifted to Weston who stood behind me. Shes got great timing, Weston chuckled in my ear. Matthias energy popped. He came away from the corner and stepped closer, his aura swarming me with enough force my knees crumbled. Weston slipped his arms around me. Whoa, you okay? Sizzling jags of lightvisible only to me and Abria, for her eyes followed the display like a fireworks showdanced in the air around us. Is Abria in danger? Matthiass gaze slid from Weston back to me and I trembled. Not mortal danger, no. Then... Why am I here? Yes. I put my hands on Westons, still gripping me in a lovelock, and tried to wriggle free. Weston let me go. Something wrong? Weston asked, eyeing me. Has the chap no decency? Matthias voice was tight as he circled us, his aura heating the swirling air. Theres an innocent in the room. I swept Abria into my arms. Is Abria in danger? What? Weston asked. I whirled to my right, facing Weston, my mouth open. Uh. Shes not in danger, Matthias said. I thought it best to stop what was going to happen here. My eyes bulged. I flipped left, staring at Matthias. Excuse me? Weston took a step back. I couldnt take my attention from Matthias. You... are you allowed to do that? Matthias tilted his head. Around him, bolts of light and energy fired in brilliant patterns of lightning so powerful they demanded my respect, reminding me that I was speaking to a being. Not a mortal. Zoe... Westons tone was cautious. Who... are you talking to? I was stunned that Matthias had intervened in my private moment with Weston. Matthias and I stood in a stare down. Abria flapped and sung and giggled. Weston backed further away; his head jerking back and forth as he watched me, then looked in the direction of Matthias. There was a lot I didnt know about Matthias and his powers. The realization astounded me. Weston, I tore my gaze from Matthias. Westons face was paper-white, his brown eyes huge. He stood utterly still. Can you wait outside the door for a few seconds? Seconds? Matthias right brow lifted in a taunt. The chaps going to need longer than that to cool his engines. Weston, take Abria with you, kay? Weston didnt move. Weston? His wide eyes shifted from me to Matthias like he was watching a pingpong match. Does he see you? I asked Matthias. Of course not. Matthias right hand lifted mid air; his fingers extended Westons direction. My heart pounded. Dont hurt him! I would never hurt him, Zoe. Westons stiff body seemed to ease a little, like a seam undone. He blinked. Sure. Okay. Weston crossed to Abria, scooped her into his arms and, eyes on me, backed out the door, shutting it behind him. I faced Matthias, whose vibrant display of energy still danced in a frenzy of frustration. He shoved his hands into his front pockets and leveled me with his eyes. What did you do to him? Calmed him a little. Are you allowed to do that? His head tilted, as if to say, silly question, Zoe. What gives you the right? He slowly crossed to me, bringing himself nearly flush with my body. Who gives me the right? Zoe, come now. You stopped Weston from kissing me! Thats a major breach of privacy. That was more than kissing, Matthias snorted on a tense laugh. Abrias entrance was timely, wasnt it? His piercing gaze shot rays of warmth underneath the surface of my skin. You planned that? Ab-so-lute-ly. He was so beautiful, so magnetic; any anger budding inside of me vanished. This isnt fair, I whispered.I wasnt in danger, and youre not my guardian. Youre right. But I dont have to like you being with Weston. My heart pounded. Youre... jealous? A flush of pink spread to the knotted corners of his jaw. A characteristic I thought I left behind in mortality and which you have challenged. My hands covered my mouth. No. I knew this would happen. I dont want ... I cant let... My heart ached. You cant fall because of me, Id never forgive myself. Matthias inched closer. Im not going to fall. His eyes were endlessly blue, and for a moment I thought I saw the clear beauty of Paradise in their depths. I dont want to hurt you, I said. He reached up as if to trace my cheek with a finger. Even though he didnt touch me, the nearness of his flesh lit sparks of want from my face to my toes. I closed my eyes. Why cant you be real? I am real. Real and here. Now. I am here. Now. The warmth of his breath fanned my face and my eyes opened. Hed stepped closer, so close my breath caught. His hands slowly lifted, and my heart tripped wanting to feel his touch again. Yearning burst my cells open in submissive anticipation. Prove it. A deep crease formed between his brows. His hands, drawing achingly near my face, radiated heat into my skin. Gently, he laid his palms against my cheeks. My body nearly burst from light and heat. Tears of joy rushed into my eyes. Happiness, pure, sweet and heaven-sent filled my body as if a reservoir of love had just burst and was caught within the mortal confines of my flesh. I wrapped my hands around his wrists. So completely comforted and embraced by love I felt adrift on a soothing wave of bliss I never wanted to let go of. I love you, Zoe. His love sunk into my senses with my next breath, feeding my mortal body as well as my longing soul. There was nothing like being in the arms of total love like this, no mortal expression of affection could compete. Gratitude overwhelmed me. At the same time, I understood what his being my guardian again meant for him. I dont want to hurt you. Dear, dear Zoe. He brushed my cheek with the back of his fingertips. The decision was mine to make and I made it. He brought my chin up and gazed into my eyes. Do you have faith in me? I nodded and squeezed him tight. Of course I do. Then dismiss this from your mind. Besides, you have other pressing matters. Like that firecracker out in the hallway. I bit my lower lip. Weston. Hmm. Hes goofy for you, you know that, dont you? I snickered. Goofy? Yes, in love. Hes in love with you. Talking about Westons feelings for me while I was wrapped in Matthias arms made me itch. I gently drew back and Matthias comforting embrace loosened until his hands fell away. We stood staring at each other. He says that, I spoke around the lump in my throat. But he cant mean it. Matthias expression was hard angles and taut planes. He means it. I dont blame him. Youre easy to love. I swallowed. But hes... hes a teenager. His friend just died. He feels a loss right now. His feelings are real. You know that in your heart. As real as mine. Oh... my. I turned away, weighed down with the truth. I care about... him. I blew out a breath. I would never hurt Matthias by telling him I liked Weston. He came up behind me. His nearness heated my neck. You cant deny yourself lifes experiences. I was out of line just nowstepping in the way I did. I dont want life experiences. His chest rumbled in a chuckle. No choice in the matter Im afraid. Yes, I do have a choice. I dont have to love anyone else. Sassy bearcat. His fingers tapped my chin. Youll steal many hearts in your lifetime, and you wont be able to stop it. Frustrated, I broke away. Yes, I can. You know how stubborn I can be. And you were doing a fine job of fighting off the chap just moments ago, I have to say. He grinned and rocked back on his heels, trying to lighten the mood. Im going to have to get used to seeing you with other gents. He stepped closer. Zoe, I acted in haste. Dont hold back because of me. I dont want you to. But how can I care for someone else and love you at the same time? I dont think its possible. He placed his hands on my shoulders. You love Abria, dont you? And Luke? I know where youre going with this, and, yes, I can love a lot of people at once, but this is different. Youre... there will never be anyone as perfect as you in my life. Zoe, Im... refined, but not perfect. Like you, I still have much to learn and understand as witnessed by my rather
impulsive reaction just now. Regardless of my love for you, I understand that you have your life to live. He embraced me again, and comfort swept me from head to toe. I could rest in his serenity indefinitely. Zoe? Westons voice. I freed of Matthias arms and turned. Weston stood wide-eyed and ashen in the open door. Twenty-Five My heart tripped. Are you sure he cant see you? Ab-so-lute-ly. Even from across the room I saw Weston trembling. I quickly crossed to him, took his hand and urged him inside, before shutting the door. His lips moved, but nothing came out. He stared at me. Wheres Abria? I asked. Iyour momshe Okay. Good. I just wanted to make sure she was with somebody. Poor chaps scared to death, Matthias observed. What should I do? I mumbled. Youre a smart sheba, Matthias came closer. Youll think of something. Cant youI dont know, zap him or something? Anything? Matthias chuckled. When you are capable of helping him, my powers are n t necessary. Itd be easier if you just did your thing, I pointed out. Zoe... Westons voice scraped. Youre... He swallowed. Who... are you... are you.... are... Come sit down." I took his hand and gently tugged him toward the bed. Perhaps a chair would be less distracting for the fellow? Matthias quipped. I shot him a grin over my shoulder. Does he look... revved up to you? Westons head jerked around and he looked in the direction of Matthias. Who? Hands on Westons shoulders, I pressed him down onto the foot of my bed. He stared up at me, face still white as snow. I need to talk to you. His Adams apple bobbed, his mouth opened. Nothing came out. At my shoulder I felt Matthias heated presence. Youve left him speechless. No thanks to you, I snickered. Westons eyes grew huge. I had to calm him, poor guy. I sat down beside him. Dont be afraid. IIm not, Im just wondering whats goingon. Its kind of hard to explain, and you might never want to speak to me again when I tell you. I glanced up at Matthias. His face calmed me and encouraged me to continue. Whats the worst that could happen? If he thinks Im nuts and never speaks to me again, that eliminates one guy from my life. Matthias tilted his head at me. I blew out a breath and took Westons hands in mine. You know how you said that you sense somethingspecialabout me? Weston nodded. Well, there is something about me that is... different. I... I glanced again at Matthias who nodded. I can see.... Man-oh-man this is hard. Am I committing social suicide here? Hell never believe me, never. I might as well tell him Im hopping on the next flight to Venus. I can see spiritual things. Westons eyes rounded to the size of quarters. Like, ghosts? I nodded. Well, theyre not ghosts, thats the thing. The person is dead, but their spirit is alive. And thats what you see? I nodded again, my breath holding in my chest as I waited for him to run out of the room laughing, screaming or both. He studied me, his clammy hands slowly warming in mine. So, he cleared his throat, just a minute ago, when you wereum, talkingyou were talking to a spirit? I nodded. His eyes widened again and he glanced around. Theres some here, right now, in this room with us? I couldnt tell if Weston believed me or not. His face was still in shock, and he hadnt moved an inch. Only his eyes darted in search of something he couldnt see. One, yes, I ventured. Id already dropped the bomb. I had nothing left to lose. My sisters guardian angel. Relief soothed me as I breathed out the words. There. Out. In the open. Weston could either accept or reject what I was telling him. Either way, speaking the truth lightened my shoulders. Minutes ticked by in a silence building with tension. Weston pulled his hands from mine. He took a deep breath. You are clairvoyant then. I asked you that before. If you think I lied to you, Im sorry. I wasnt ready to tell you because I wasnt sure you were ready to hear. Westons gaze moved around the room. At my side, Matthias remained quiet and listening. Does he believe me? Im not able to discern his thoughts, Zoe, only yours and Abrias. I waited while Weston appeared to take in the information in, digesting it. The wide-eyed look on his face slowly vanished, that was a relief. But whether or not hed open his mind to what Id told him, I had no idea. Finally, he met my gaze again. I should have known youd say something like this. His voice was soft. My nerves jittered. Was he going to chastise me now? I didnt care, I couldnt deny what had happened, and what I saw. I knew it, and nothing Weston said or did would change the truth. You have one, dont you? he asked, his tone still quiet. Yes. Weston stared at me, his eyes shadowed. He inched back. Looked at me like Id morphed into a monster. Thats what I felt that night. I knew there was someone there. The air whirled with shame and fear. I glanced up at Matthias who eyed Weston with an undeviating stare. Weston followed my glance and he moved off the bed, stood a few feet away, his body jumpy. Its here? Theyourguardian is here? Hes coming around, Matthias murmured. Yes, hes here. I stood and stepped Westons direction. He jerked back another step, his face white again, eyes huge. He? Your guardian is a he? Right-o, chap, Matthias said. Yes, he is. Weston bumped into the chair at my desk, sending the messy contents of books and pens and framed photos toppling and rolling to the floor. He held his hands out to his sides, as if feeling for the next piece of furniture, or his way to the door, unable to take his eyes off me as he inched closer to the exit. I crossed to the door and blocked it, sending white panic over his face. Talk to me. IIm not sure I can, Zoe. This is a lot... of information. I nodded. Matthias stood at the foot of my bed, unmoved, but still watching and listening. I know this is a lot. When I first saw him, I thought I was hallucinating, hung over or something. It took me a good three or four interactions with him before I realized what was happening. He swallowed. Oh. The thing is, since then, Ive seen not only him, but others. And Im not alone. Chase can see them too. Westons frame was stiff as iron. Oh. Thats the thing we have in common I told you about. He sees them too, or he has, anyway when he was younger. This news seemed to relax Weston some. He swallowed again. His eyes appeared less fearful and color returned to his cheeks. Oh. I nodded. Theres nothing to be afraid of. Theyre not here to hurt us. Theyre here to help. Theyre guardians, Weston, guardian angels. I crossed to him and he didnt back away, which I took as a good sign. I placed my hand on his arm. His eyes darted without aim around the room. Should you be touching me? he asked. Matthias chuckled. Why not? I asked. Zoe, Weston swallowed, hes here. In the room. Yeah, so? Watching? Oh jeez. Was he here when we... when you and I were... As a matter of fact, I was. Matthias came up behind Weston. Would Weston sense his presence? Matthias aura was so strong and powerful, I was sure Weston would feel something. Weston stood still. Where is he? he croaked. Behind you, hooligan. Hes over there, I lied, pointing at a corner of the bedroom where Westons gaze shifted and I bulged my eyes at Matthias. Are you sure? Weston sounded like he was out of breath. Because its like... like it was that night. It feels like it did that night...in the motel room. How did it feel? I asked. Like I was about to be thrown into a furnace. He stepped away from me, out into the middle of the room, jittery as a greyhound at the gate. This dude doesnt like me, whoever he is. He likes everyone. I crossed to him but Weston kept a safe distance between us. And his name is Matthias. MaMatthias? You know his name? Of course. We... know each other. Weston drove his hands through his dark hair. Wow. This... is really... out there. Youre not going to be thrown into a furnace. In fact, Matthias told me I was safe with you. Surprise crossed his face. He did? Yes. Weston set his anxious hands in his front pockets. Yeah, well, you are. You can tell him that for me. Im not going to do anything, he announced to the room in general. I bit back a laugh. Shes safe with me, swear to G Dont I cringed. Matthias cringed too. Oh shiman, Weston shuddered. Im sorry. I probably shouldnt swearman, am I in trouble? I crossed to him and took his hands. Weston tried to relax, but he couldnt stop looking around the room, and his body wouldnt stop trembling. You sure hes not mad at me? Why would he be mad? For... you know, what happened that night in the motel. Thats so over, forget it, I said, checking Matthias for a reaction. Matthias expression was expectantly neutral, no traces of anything unforgiving in his countenance. Still, Weston jittered. I think maybe I should go. I dont mean to scare you. I kept hold of his hands. Youre notits not you. I really do feel something here. But you shouldnt feel afraid. Hes not here to do anything but spread comfort, I promise. Weston eyed me, curiosity and awe on his face. You really believe that, dont you? Of course. Ive felt his power. Weston, hes real and hes not here to hurt you. Then how come that night, I felt... He glanced around again. I felt danger. Id seen black spirits crawling all over him that night at the party, stimulating him into a wicked frenzy. No wonder hed felt danger. Telling him about the evil spirits would probably push him over the edge, he was already brimming with angst. Theres something else. Weston held his breath, then said, What? I also see... bad spirits. His eyes grew wide. He glanced around and I tugged his hands. Dont worry, there arent any here right now. Matthias would have dismissed them. Weston stared at me for what seemed like an endlessly long period of silence. Then he swallowed. You have given the chap quite the bucket, Zoe, Matthias murmured from my right. I hope he believes me and doesnt think Im a whack job. Give him some time. Bad? Westons voice scratched out. Like... what does bad look like? I tightened my grip on his hands. Imagine the darkest, dirtiest loathsome humanish thing you can picture and... The skin on Westons face washed white. Was he getting this or was he ready to turn and run? Is that what I felt... that night? His voice was a terrified whisper. Probably best if I didnt tell him hed had his own pack of black spirits that night, not right this second anyway. But Weston pulled on my hands when I tried to ease mine from his. Zoe, tell me the truth. A knot formed in my throat. Yes. Weston let me go, stepped back and thrust his hands into his hair. More long moments ticked by. I glanced at Matthias who remained intently focused on Weston, as if reading his thoughts. Not reading his thoughts, but he is making an effort to accept what youre telling him. Good. Inexplicable relief settled into my soul. Finally, Westons brown eyes met mine. Were these... bad things... around Brady too? I nodded. He released a slow, troubled breath. I ... get it, and ... I believe you. But, do you know why they were there? Whatever evil you felt that night was your own doing, I said. Matthias nodded with approval. Right-o Zoe. Weston appeared humbled by the frank comment. Okay, I agree I was with someone who was going to do something bad. Weston scraped his hands down his face. Sorry, but I get sick when I think about it. Good, Matthias murmured, drawing closer to Weston. Then hell never repeat anything so heinous again. You sure your guardian didnt cast a hex on me or something that night? Because, after that, I came down with the worst case of boils the hospital had ever seen. I bit my lip. Over Westons shoulder, Matthias stood, patiently listening. He didnt react to Westons suggestion other than to shift his gaze to me for a second. Yeah, I heard about that, I said. Nasty. More than nasty. There wasnt one centimeter of my body that didnt have a boil on it, not one, if you get my drift. Yikes. I shuddered. Recompense for the intended deed, Matthias murmured. I dont want to mess with ghosts, Weston said. Good or bad. Matthias snorted. Ghosts? Look, I know this is a bucket load, I glanced at Matthias, for you to understand, but Ill tell you anything you want to know. Promise. Just dont worry about it. I took Westons hands in mine and the gesture seemed to relax him a little, his gaze stayed with me. But his eyes searched me as if he wasnt sure he could believe me. I wish I was like you, Matthias, that just being in my presence was enough to convince Weston that what I was saying and who I was, was real and true. You underestimate yourself. Matthias blue eyes twinkled. Besides, hes not as faithless as you think. You wanted to know, Weston, I said, soberly. If you think about it, what Im telling you feels right, doesnt it? I waited for his answer. Finally, he nodded. Yeah, it does. Okay then. Weston blew out another breath and looked around the room again, his gaze missing Matthias entirely. How come you can see him and I cant? Didnt you say Chase could see him? Im not sure why some people can see them and some cant. And Chase can only see guardians. How did you two start talking about it? Its not the normal conversation you have with just anybody. He brought it up one day in newspaper. I guess he thought Id believe him. Did you? Id already seen Matthias by then, so, yes, I believed him. Is Matthias... still here? My gaze slid to Matthias, standing a few feet behind Westons shoulder. Yes. Does this mean hes always around? Wherever you go, he goes kinda thing? Matthias leaned forward, as if whispering in Westons ear. I might, just to keep an eye on you. Not unless theres a reason, I tilted my head at Matthias. His main purpose is to comfort. Matthias blue eyes locked on mine and his aura swept over me in a warm wave of lusciousness. My eyes closed involuntarily. Consumed by the unseen vortex of sensation whirling around me, my hands slipped from Westons. Zoe? Westons voice sounded very far away. I assembled my fluttering thoughts. If you are trying to make me miss you more, youre doing a great job. Matthiass soft chuckle resounded through my being. Just saying goodbye. He approached, and my heart leapt. His hands slipped up my arms, my shoulders and fastened to my cheeks. I closed my eyes, waiting. Delicious. Lingering. Anticipation. Matthias warm breath ticked my ear. Goodbye, Zoe. A savory buzz drizzled through every fiber of my body, leaving me with warm contentment. I opened my eyes. Matthias was gone. Westons eyes were huge. What just happened? Um. Words werent enough to describe Matthias parting bestowal. I let out a pleased sigh. You... look... happy. Weston swallowed. Matthias is gone now. Westons mouth opened. Does that happen every time he leaves? Yes. I wrapped my arms around my body, smiling. Silence dropped like a cement block between Weston and I, and a cold aloofness fell over him. Did he... touch you? What? Weston... Its just that you look so satisfied Not everything satisfying has to do with sex. I