One Foot in the Grave: An Almost Zombie Tale (20 page)

“Oh, Andrew,” I say. “Now
we’re
technically the monsters.”

Andrew nods. “I know. This hasn’t been easy for me, Isis. And now it’s even less easy. What’m I going to do? If I can’t eat, I’ll die. I’m not like you. I
will
starve to death. Eventually.”

I bite my lip. “I know someone who might be able to help you.”

“You do? Awesome!” He grins at me and I remember how he used to look when I first met him. Maybe his drinking blood to regain some of those good looks isn’t such a horrible idea, after all.

“Have you ever been to a club called The Blood Bank?”

“Sure,” he says. “Plenty of times, why?”

“Let me check something out first. I’ll get back to you in a couple of days, okay?” Speaking of days, I glance up at the sky. “Andrew, look.”

“Yeah?” He follows my line of sight. “Oh, don’t worry; I can feel it right before the sun rises. I’ve got a few minutes still.”

“The sky is turning blue,” I point out.

Maxx sneezes and Father Moss snickers, proving that he’s been listening to our entire conversation.

“The sky is always blue,” Maxx points out. Trust him to point out the obvious.

“That’s not what I meant,” I say. “I just…I don’t want him to burst into flames.”

Andrew smiles at me and my heart remembers,
again
, how cute he is. “I’m touched. But you’re right; it’s time to go. Can I still stay here? Or would you rather I leave?” He pushes himself off the ground and waits for my answer.

I remember he’s got nowhere to go. He may be a full-blood, but he’s like the rest of us. Worse than the rest of us, actually. We have homes. He doesn’t. “Stay here,” I say. “There’s no reason for you to leave.”

“Thanks, Isis. That’s nice of you.”

That’s me, your friendly neighborhood zombie. I wait until he retreats back into the crypt before I turn to Maxx. “Is he going to be okay?” I ask. I don’t know why I’m worried about him, but I kind of am. Maybe it’s because, after meeting Ink, Tucker, and Nacelles, he’s not all that frightening.

“Andrew can stay in the crypt for now, but he’ll need to find his own road,” Father Moss says. I’m surprised. He seems more compassionate than that. I guess my shock shows, because he continues. “You misunderstand me, Isis. Andrew doesn’t belong here. He’s not a half. He can have a family of vampires if he wants.”

“And what if he doesn’t want them?”

“Isis, this is none of your business,” Maxx stretches before rising to his feet. “Nacelles can introduce Andrew to Ink. She is his family.” He grins at me, a huge doggy smile. “As a matter of fact, I should introduce myself properly before he turns in. If you will excuse me…”

I don’t know if I’ve ever met a creature with better manners than Maxx. I smile at him and he just…vanishes… presumably into the crypt. I almost wish I could be a fly on the wall for that conversation. It’s bound to be an interesting one.

“Now that that’s done, I have a couple of questions for you.” Father Moss squats closer to the ground. “First of all, how did your meeting with Ra’kul go?”

“Oh. Ummm…so Lydia told you about that already?”

He nods. “She told me her perspective, but I’m interested in hearing yours, as well.”

“I feel sorry for her,” I say. “She’s so…so…
human
underneath it all.”

“I’m glad you’re able to see that, Isis. I wasn’t sure whether you’d be able to fit into our family until this point.”

“So this means I can come back to church, right?”

“If that’s what you want to do, yes.”

I smile. “Thanks, Father Moss. I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the…rear.”

He tilts his head to one side. “You do know you’ll have to make peace with Andrew, don’t you?”

“I kind of already have,” I state. “I mean, I’ve pretty much forgiven him. After all, I’m almost positive he didn’t want to bite me any more than I want to eat raw brains forever.”

“That’s very mature of you,” the gargoyle says.

“Yeah, well, it happens.” I’m really not all that great with compliments. In my opinion, there’s no real way to accept them gracefully. ‘Thanks,’ sounds dismissive and anything else sounds kind of conceited. “You said you had another question,” I prompt Father Moss to move on instead.

“How exactly did you get here? I know you didn’t have enough time to come via the usual methods.”

Oh. That. “I’m not sure,” I say. “Maxx told me it’s called translocation or moving through reality or something. Andrew called, said he wanted to meet me. I guess I was more worried about him than I thought. I got dressed, got into the elevator, and when I went to get out, I wound up in the cemetery.”

“That’s an interesting skill,” the gargoyle snaps his wings open and shut. “And not one every vampire has, but Ink is quite old and maybe that explains it.”

“That’s what Maxx said. Do you think it’s something I can use whenever I want to?” I seat myself on the ground next to him.

“Maybe once you’re more practiced at it. You’d have to ask Ink about that.” Father Moss admits. “I’m no expert when it comes to vampires.”

I hide a yawn behind my palm. Today just started way too early for my comfort, and it’s all Andrew’s fault. Speaking of lemons…there’s something I want to do, and there’s only one person I trust to have my back. “Where’s Noelle?”

“She’s inside with Albin,” Father Moss replies. “Yesterday was hard on him.”

Poor Albin. “Is he okay?”

The old gargoyle nods. “His Great Dane has been stressed since Albin was turned. Last night was particularly bad, and Rufus snapped at him. Albin decided to spend the night here to give the poor creature some space.”

I shudder. What a nightmare. My stomach starts to rumble. I don’t have any brains with me, either. I sigh. When it rains, it pours. I get to my feet. “I’ve got to go,” I say. “Breakfast calls.”

“There are raw pork brains in the church refrigerator,” Father Moss says. “I stocked them after your first visit.”

“Ummmm…thanks,” I’m surprised at his thoughtfulness, though I’m not sure why. “I guess I’ll go get some, then. And, ummm…yeah,” I trail off.

Father Moss laughs. “Go. Eat. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your brains.”

That’s something I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined someone would ever say to me. This unlife is so weird, but I think I’m starting to get used to it.

Thirty-Five:

Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho. It’s off to the Lich We Go!

I scrape the last of the brains out of the plastic container with a spoon. Noelle’s sitting across from me, her arms folded across her chest. I run my tongue over my teeth. I’m not used to eating in front of people and she’s making me nervous. Albin is nowhere in sight.

“You’re not the only one who screwed up by going under the church, you know.”

I blink. “I’m not?”

“I’m pretty sure Albin’s the only half who
hasn’t
gone through that little side door. Father Moss uses that darn half Komodo as a lesson in obedience. I think he makes sure that particular cell door is built out of paper mache.” She flashes me a quick smile. “You
are
the only one who took a hell hound, though. That was pretty smart. The rest of us just ran for our lives.” She pauses for a minute before continuing. “Supposedly, there was an even more dangerous half under there in the 1800’s – it even killed another half. A wendigo. It was really messy. Father Moss buried her in the cemetery.”

I nod. That explains the headstone. “Did you all have to help Lydia heal Ra’kul afterward?”

She shakes her head. “Nah, you’re the only one who’s managed to injure her, to my knowledge.”

“Well, that was more Maxx than me, but okay.”

“You look rough,” Noelle says. “You okay?”

“I’ve been dreaming about eating brains.”

She just stares at me. “How’s that a nightmare?”

I sigh. “They’re human brains.”

Her nose wrinkles up. “Ewww. Gross.”

Yeah. You could say that. “It scares me,” I say honestly.

“Talk to that creature you told us about…the one you met at the club.”

I blink. The solution’s so simple; I have no idea why I haven’t thought of it sooner. Nacelles or his legion of undead club-goers might know something about brains. In fact, if they don’t know, it probably doesn’t exist.

I scoot my chair back from the old wooden table and stand up. “I’ll go see him later.”

“I’ll go with you,” Noelle makes an unexpected offer. “I’ve never met a lich before. Sounds like it might be interesting.”

I decide to be blunt. “Why? You don’t even like me.” I take my bowl and spoon to the kitchen sink and turn on the faucet. Hot water pours out and I turn on the cold to balance out the steam I see rising from the sink.

“Someone needs to make sure you don’t kill yourself,” she answers. “And Father Moss would never forgive me if something happened down there.”

“Yeah, okay. You can come with me.” Trust has to start somewhere, right? I frown. “Does Nacelles sleep during the day?” Were liches even related to vampires? I have no idea.

Noelle shrugs.

I add dishwashing detergent to the now lukewarm water, turn off both taps and grab a sponge. Yeah, I’m more domestic now than I was when this whole mess started. It’s a good skill to have, just in case I ever wind up with a boyfriend. I almost giggle at the idea. My heart hasn’t healed from Andrew yet, and I’m not quite sure it ever will.

“What’re you doing up so early?”

The half-fae shifts from foot to foot. I don’t expect her to answer but she surprises me. “I have some abilities I can’t explain well,” she says. “They make sleeping through the night kind of problematic.”

Huh. That’s not an answer I thought I’d get. “You mean like the illusions?”

She mumbles something under her breath and I strain to hear her reply. “What’d you say?”

“Wait, I’ll show you.” Biting her lip, Noelle closes her eyes. I’m not sure what to expect, so I just watch her. Before long, she starts to hover. Like feet off the floor, around two feet up, the hem of the long dress she’s wearing held in one clenched fist.

I blink. “You…fly?”

She shakes her head. “No. I hover. Father Moss is teaching me how to control it, but I still tend to float at night. I’ve bumped against the ceiling more than once.”

Yikes. “What do you do all day?”

“Go to auditions when I can, teach dance when I can’t.” She smiles. “It’s not so bad. I love kids and at Christmas time I take a few of the little girls to see the behind-the-scenes stuff when The Nutcracker comes to The Fox. They love it.”

I wouldn’t have pegged Noelle to be so…what’s the word? Altruistic? It’s kind of cool. I wish I had a passion like that. The only thing that’s been keeping me going is the hunt for Andrew, and becoming human again. The whole revenge idea’s pretty much fallen apart after our last conversation, though. I wonder if that makes me a sucker.

“So, let’s go see this lich of yours,” she says. “Day’s not getting any younger.”

No, as a matter of fact, it’s not. The sun is beating against the kitchen window like it’s determined to pierce the stained glass and come inside. I’ve become such a night owl that a trip to The Blood Bank might be just what I need to wake up completely, odd as that sounds. I eye Noelle. The dress she’s wearing is a blinding lime green. Maybe it will keep the ghouls confused long enough to reach Nacelles.

Father Moss is nice enough to call us a cab from the church. I guess he’s got one on retainer for emergencies because I overhear him say ‘I’ve got a pick-up’, nod a reply and then hang up. And just like that we have a ride to The Blood Bank which doesn’t cost us a dime. I don’t remember the address, but the taxi driver gets us there, no problem.

“Didja need a pick-up, too?” The cabbie asks as we get out.

I pause with one foot still in the taxi. “Ummm…I have no idea.” I look at Noelle. “Do we?”

She nods. “I’d think so, yeah. A couple of hours should do it.”

“A’ight. Be outside at…” he glances down at his wrist. “Twelve. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” I say, closing the back door. The huge bouncer, whatshisname, isn’t on duty and the neon lights aren’t lit, either. It looks pretty dismal in the light of day.

“This is where the lich lives?” Noelle asks.

“Not exactly.” I pull at the club door, which doesn’t open. What a shock. “He lives under the club.”

“So how do you expect us to get inside? Got a key?”

I bite my lip. Hadn’t really thought of that, darn it. I’m so fixated on getting to Nacelles, I forgot to figure out how to actually get inside the locked building. “Ummm…”

Noelle rolls her eyes. “Seriously, Isis?” She reaches up into her hair and pulls out a bobby pin. Putting the ends in her mouth, she spits out what I assume are those weird plastic ends.

“Are you really going to pick the lock with a hair pin?” If the police come by, we’re so screwed.

It takes her like a minute and a half to jimmy open the door. I slip inside, praying the ghouls aren’t out. I don’t hear anything weird, so I gesture to Noelle. She follows me and pulls the door closed. It doesn’t take us long to reach the staircase.

“Do you know what a revenant is?” I ask her. I don’t want to scare her, but she deserves to be warned. Tucker is, well…Tucker.

She shakes her head. “Is it like a ghost or something?”

“No.” There’s no easy way to say it. “He’s a reanimated corpse that eats meat.”

Her face is blank, so I elaborate. “Flesh, Noelle. He eats people.”

The half-fae gasps. “And that’s where you’re taking us?”

“Tucker just mans the door to Nacelles. And he can control himself.” I try to reassure her, but I’m not sure if it’s the truth. The last time I was down here was with Maxx. Maybe the hell hound was the only thing keeping Tucker from chowing down. It’s a sobering thought, but I try not to let the growing dread show on my face. It’s pretty much too late to back down. I need answers.

Thirty-Six:

Experimentation is the Name of the Game.

“Tucker, we need to see Nacelles.” I face the revenant head-on. “Is he here?”

“You promised me steak.” His voice is flat.

Crap. I had. “You’re right,” I say, “but I don’t eat steak anymore and I forgot to buy some.”

“You promised me steak.” His eyes are fixed on Noelle. If he thinks I’m giving the half-fae to him instead he’s mistaken.