Olivia (37 page)

“
You’ve pushed me to be more than
what I thought I could be.”

He smiles before pressing his lips to mine briefly.
“Whole.”

“
What?” He kisses me quickly
again.

“
More words. Patience.” Another
kiss. “Anticipation.” And another. “Admiration.” A longer kiss.
“Spent,” he breathes softly against my lips.

“
Hey!” I argue, pushing against his
chest lightheartedly.

“
No, in a good way. Here’s a better
one:
sated
.”

I laugh at that one. “What’s the opposite of sated?”
I ask, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“
Hungry,” he answers, his words now
coming in quick succession. “Ravenous. Needing. Covetous. Wanting.”
I silence him by pushing him back against the pillows and kissing
him fully, my fingers clenching his short hair. He wraps his arms
around me tightly, eventually rolling me onto my back and taking
control of our embrace. I stop him by pulling away and looking at
the door when I feel his hand moving up the back of my
thigh.

He moves his hand to the side of my face,
understanding my hesitance immediately. “Ravenous,” he repeats, his
eyes trained on my mouth. His thumb brushes lightly across my
bottom lip. I stop it with the tip of my tongue and hear the breath
hitch in his throat. He closes his eyes as I move just enough to
bring the end of his finger into my mouth, holding it gently
between my teeth before closing my lips around it. We’re both
holding our breaths as he slowly pulls his thumb away. I kiss the
end of it tenderly, and he opens his eyes. They are fiery and
intense, and are only a brief warning of his next kiss. Deep. Long.
Reminiscent of the few that we’ve shared in our most passionate
moments. His leg moves between mine, and I let myself go, let
myself feel the things that I hadn’t realized I’d missed so much.
I’m not sure which I notice first, the lump in my throat or the
tear falling from my eye, but I choke out a quiet sob when we break
apart to breathe.

“
I want you,” I tell him softly,
watching for his reaction. I can tell he’s trying to figure out how
to make it happen. “I miss you.”

He turns to check the door, immediately pushing
himself off of me. “Hey, Trey,” Jon says nervously as I sit up and
pull down my disheveled dress. “How long have you been there?”

“
I want you,” my brother sings
loudly. “I miss you,” he mocks me, making kissing
noises.

“
Jackson Andrew Holland the
third
, you shut up this second,” I tell
him, talking over him as he repeats my pleas to Jon over and over.
I get off the bed and start to go after him, but he runs up the
stairs, still smacking his lips together. “Great,” I mutter. “That
should go over well.”

“
He’s better than a cold shower,”
Jon says, breathing heavily. “God, what if that had been your dad?”
He rolls over on his stomach and buries his head in the
pillows.

“
Hopefully he wouldn’t have been a
total creep and watched from the doorway,” I cringe.

“
He doesn’t know what we were
doing,” Jon mumbles into the bed linens. “Right? He’s too young.
Right?”

“
Right,” I assure him. “We weren’t
doing anything anyway.” He peeks up at me and smiles.

“
Yet.”

“
Yet,” I repeat, walking over to
the barstool and leaning against it, still trying to get my
breathing to return to normal.
Would I have let
him do anything... more? With my parents upstairs?
I wasn’t
thinking. I watch him lie on the bed, wanting to be next to him. He
turns on his side, pulling one of my pillows into his
chest.

“
It smells like you,” he says as he
takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again. After a few seconds,
I decide to join him on the bed. I sit down next to him, though,
knowing that we’ll both get carried away again if I lie back down.
I run my fingernails up his arm to get him to open his
eyes.

“
In all this, I feel awful that I
didn’t ask about your mom,” I tell him softly. He rolls over on his
back, but doesn’t break his gaze.

“
She’s supposed to be sobering up
today. I’m planning to see her on Saturday to go over her
finances.”

“
You’re a good son,” I tell him.
“She’s lucky to have you.”

“
I know,” he says with a sigh. He
tugs on my arm a bit and pulls me down to kiss me.

“
Does my brother know you’re both
down here?” Matty says from right behind me. I bury my head into
Jon’s chest, laughing quietly to myself. “Emi asked if you’d help
us with dinner.”

“
Sure thing.” I stand up and put my
hand out to help Jon off the bed. My uncle raises his brows as I
glare at him, unable to hide my pink cheeks from him as I walk past
him out of my room. I glance at Jon, and his guilt is much more
evident, his skin blotchy and his gaze diverted to the
floor.

“
Yep,” he says. “
The Ever-Elusive Bedroom of Olivia Holland
, it is. In
stores next summer.”

“
You’re so funny,” I say
sarcastically as I lead him into the kitchen. Jon stands idly by
the island as I finish the salads and set the table.

“
You know what?” he says. “Maybe I
should borrow a shirt or something–”

“
You look fine,” I tell him
quickly. “Really.
Fine
,” I flirt
playfully.

“
Livvy, if he’s uncomfortable...”
my mom begins.

“
A little,” Jon says. Matty pats my
boyfriend on the back as he heads back down to the basement. He
shrugs at me as I stick my tongue out at him. I set the drinks on
the table as Matty tosses a shirt to Jon. He pulls it over his head
and straightens the tan-colored tee over his undershirt. “It’s a
little tight,” Jon says as I notice well-defined muscles in his
arms and stomach. I smile broadly at my uncle, who simply winks at
me.

“
That’s how I like them,” my uncle
says.

“
You look hot,” I assure
him.

“
Liv,” my mom warns me. “We’re
trying to make him feel
more
comfortable
here. You’re not helping.”

“
Oh, whatever, Mom.”

“
I’m fine, Emi,” Jon says, taking a
seat at the table. I sit next to him and poke one of his ab
muscles. He grabs my finger quickly, his stare a playful
warning.

My dad follows Trey into the room, and the rest of
my family takes their seats around the table. It does feel
comfortable, having Jon here. I love having him here. I lean my
head on his shoulder, feeling a little giddy. He puts his arm
around me and rubs my arm, grinning when I pull away. His
expression looks just like mine.

“
How’s your hand?” Mom asks as she
puts food on his plate.

“
I can do that,” Jon says as he
takes the bowl from her. “It looks worse than it feels. I think the
ice helped a lot, thank you.”

“
What were you two doing down
there? Did you work everything out?”

Jon takes a drink of water, allowing me to answer.
“Yeah, we just talked through some things. We’re good.”

“
They were doing what mommies and
daddies do,” Trey announces to the table. Jon immediately starts
choking on his water. Dad drops his fork while Mom sets hers down
quietly on her plate. Matty starts laughing hysterically, and when
I look at my parents, neither are looking at me or Jon, but rather
both are glaring at my brother. My mom’s mouth is open in
shock.

“
We were not,” is all I can say. I
have no idea how to respond otherwise with Jon coughing his guilt
out into his napkin next to me.

“
Six-year-olds are so much fun!” my
uncle exclaims.

“
Honey,” Mom says to my brother,
“what exactly do mommies and daddies do?”

“
I want you,” my brother says in a
mocking voice. “I miss you. I love you.” Once more, he starts with
the kissing noises. Mom’s cheeks turn bright pink, and my dad just
continues to stare at Trey. I have no doubt he’s doing that to
avoid eye contact with anyone else at the table.

“
I’m not sure who this is more
embarrassing for, Jacks,” Matty says to his brother, “you two or
the kids here.”

“
Me,” I assure Matty. Jon finally
stops choking, but I barely notice because he’s now just laughing,
holding up the cloth napkin in an attempt to hide his outburst. I
squeeze his knee tightly under the table.

“
I want you, I love you,” Trey
continues, and starts to kiss the back of his hand.

“
Jackson, knock it off,” my dad
says with no hint of a smile. “That’s not appropriate.” He picks
his fork back up and starts eating. “
Any
of it,” he clarifies, glancing briefly at Jon, then me, then back
down at his food. Jon’s smile vanishes immediately. We both pick at
the food on our plates.

Mom looks uncomfortable, but tries to eat, acting as
if nothing has happened. Silence fills the room as Matty watches
each of us look around awkwardly at one another.

“
How is your mother, Jon?” Mom
asks.

“
I’m hoping she’s well,” he answers
after clearing his throat. “I’ll call to check in after dinner. My
Aunt Patty has invited Mom to move in with her until she gets back
on her feet,” he says nonchalantly. I look over at him, surprised.
“Yeah. We think it’s best.”

“
For how long?”

“
However long it takes,” he says.
“She needs to make some serious changes. And her savings runs out
after paying next month’s rent. Without a job, she has nowhere to
stay here in the city.”

I look at my parents, waiting for one of them to
offer their help, but neither do. “I’m sure you’ve thought this
through,” Dad says evenly.

“
Yes, Jack,” he answers. “I have.”
He smiles politely and takes a bite of food.

“
If you need help, you know,
packing, or... whatever you need, Jon, we’ll help. I’ve got some
boxes in storage.”

“
Thanks, Emi. I might take a few of
those.”

“
What about the
apartment?”

“
We’re vacating,” he
says.

“
That’s the only home your brothers
have ever known,” I remind him.

“
And wouldn’t it be nice to come
back to some place better?” Jon asks, clearly not worried at all
about this decision. “I mean, already they’re in a better
situation.” He swallows hard, and I can finally hear a little bit
of sadness in his voice. “It’s best for everyone.”

I take his hand under the table and rub his thumb
with mine.

“
It’s fine,” he says to me again.
He leans over and kisses me quickly, paying no attention to my
parents across the table from us. “Really.”

“
Okay.”

“
Camille,”
I text my friend,
“I don’t believe the rumors. I
think you should just ask him.”

“
Who would start a rumor like
that?”

“
I don’t
know,”
I type quickly, feeling frustrated since it seems
like we’ve been going in circles for the last half hour.
“We go to school with a bunch of idiots,
remember?”

“
He wouldn’t cheat on me.
Right?”

“
I don’t think he
would,”
I respond, wishing I was able to give her a
definitive answer. I immediately send Finn a separate text, though,
asking him to call me.

“
I’m
sick!”
she explains her absence from a party most of the
juniors and seniors attended last night.
“He
shouldn’t have even gone without me.”

“
Camille, it’s one of the last
parties they’ll have this year. Of course he would still go. His
friends were all going.”

“
His friends, the
idiots.”

“
Yes, those
friends.”
I laugh quietly in my car, checking my
surroundings again and selecting a different playlist. I’d been
listening to depressing music all morning, and needed something
upbeat to get me in a better frame of mind. I knew I had to be
positive for Jon.

“
I wish you had
gone,”
she says.
“Then I would have had
one honest person tell me what really happened.”

“
Finn is that
person,”
I respond.
“I’m sure he’ll call
you as soon as he gets up. Just stop worrying right
now.”

“
Okay,”
she finally types. I catch a movement out of the corner of my eye
and look over, seeing Jon before he knocks on my passenger door. I
roll down the window and wave.

“
Surprise?” I say
cautiously.

“
What are you doing
here?”

“
I brought you some boxes,” I
explain. “I thought I’d help you pack.”

He smiles, unsure. “It’s going to be a mess,” he
warns me. “I’m not sure you know what you’re in for.”

“
It’s fine. No judgment,” I assure
him with a smile. “So I can help?”

“
I guess so. But you don’t have to
stay all day. Just let me know when you’re worn out.” I turn off
the ignition and hop out of the car, grabbing my phone and popping
the trunk.