Olivia (38 page)

“
Wow, that’s a lot,” he laughs,
grabbing as many as he can. “And yet, still probably not enough. I
don’t want to throw anything out, you know? I’ll just lock it up in
storage and let her go through it later.”

“
That sounds like a plan.” I pick
up the few that he’s left and follow him into the building. “Was it
hard? Sending her off?” I ask him as we climb the stairs to his
floor.

“
She was in a pretty good frame of
mind,” he says. “She cried. I can tell she’s disappointed in
herself. And she feels like she’s abandoning me. I assured her she
wasn’t.”

“
Good.”

“
I take it your parents know you’re
here?”

“
Mom encouraged it,” I tell him.
“In fact, she offered to help. She says she knows someone with a
truck, if you want to borrow it to load up the stuff.”

“
And your dad?”

“
He had somewhere to be this
morning. He was gone when I got up.”

“
So he doesn’t know.”

“
I don’t guess so.”

“
Well, it’s nice of your mom to
offer, but I’ve got some friends coming by tonight. We’re going to
load up everything and store it in a garage overnight. I have to
give the keys to the landlord by seven.”

“
Wait, I thought we had a
date?”

“
Just a slight break in our plans.
You can come with me.”

“
Okay,” I say with a smile. “Oh,
and you know Dad bought a space for the gallery. With Abram out of
the picture, I don’t think we’ll be renovating any time soon, so
you’re welcome to store your things in there until we do. Mom said
it’s fine. It’s secure. It’s
free
.”

“
They’re too generous,” he says
when we get to his door. He props his boxes against the wall and
takes mine from me, leaning them against the rest.

“
They like you. And these are just
little things to help.”

“
I’m not sure your dad
does.”

“
He does,” I say, trying to sound
convincing. “He just may not always realize it.”

“
If you say so. And again, I
appreciate their offers,” he says, seemingly open to our
assistance. He kisses me before we go into the apartment. “I have
started a list of things to pay your dad back for, though. He
knows.”

“
You don’t have–”

“
I have to, for me.
Okay?”

“
Okay.” There’s no point in
arguing. I go into the living room first, letting him bring all of
the boxes in.

“
If we start a life together,” he
says, setting everything down in batches just inside the door, “I
want to start fresh.” My stomach leaps, making my heart skip a
beat. I try to bite back a grin, not wanting to seem too surprised
or giddy, but I can’t help myself.

“
Oh. You’re thinking about the
future again?” I ask him as I walk closer to the kitchen, looking
around at the mess his mother has left.

“
I never really stopped,” he says
casually. “Olivia, I couldn’t conscionably start a physical
relationship with you without having some intention of committing
to you, long-term. You should know that.”

“
Well, to be fair, you didn’t have
those intentions with those other girls,” I challenge him, although
not maliciously.

“
Those other girls were not you,”
he reminds me, walking closer to me. “I was thinking about you. And
me, a little,” he says with a wry smile, “but mainly
you.”

“
You’re never selfish,” I tell him
softly, knowing he’s being completely honest with me.

“
Your mom’s really okay with you
being here?” he whispers mere seconds before pressing his lips to
mine gently.

“
Mmm-hmm,” I answer, not breaking
away.

“
Encouraged it?” he continues,
separating only long enough to ask the question.

“
Mmm-hmm.”

He starts laughing and breaks away. “How is it, with
all of our recent events, she ends up trusting us
more
?”

“
I thought the same thing, but I
didn’t dare ask the question.”

“
Smart girl. I guess it pays to be
honest.”

“
I guess. And doesn’t it also make
it more difficult to do things we’d need to lie about?” I ask him,
having envisioned what could happen today–but likely won’t because
of my own conscience. “It’s amazing, how they work. It’s, like,
voodoo,” I mumble with a chuckle.

“
Yeah. I don’t want to let them
down,” he admits. “You’re sure your dad didn’t major in psychology,
or brainwashing, or subliminal mind manipulation?”

“
If he did, I suppose we would
never know.”

“
True.” Jon starts assembling some
boxes with a roll of packing tape he found in his old bedroom. I
look around, picking up random pictures, all covered in dust.
“Maybe...” he suggests slowly. He doesn’t continue with his
thought, though.

“
Maybe what?”

“
Maybe we wouldn’t need to lie.
Maybe they know, and accept it.”

“
You have clearly lost your mind,
love,” I tell him. “That’s wishful thinking. That’s it.”

“
I know.”

“
As long as you know,” I
sass.

“
That doesn’t mean I’m not going to
try things, though,” he says with a shrug. I laugh at him, not
arguing.

“
Try as you like.” He looks up and
smiles. “Where should I start?”

“
I’d say the pictures.” I go to the
kitchen and find the cleaning supplies, locating some paper towels,
a dust rag, and some cleaning solution. “You don’t need to go to
that trouble.”

“
It’s no trouble. It’s your family,
Jon. When she comes back, everything should be clean.”

“
Including her,” he
jokes.

“
Well, yes. I think she can do it.”
I start to remove all of the dust from the frames before carefully
placing them in the boxes.

“
I think she can, too. I think
leaving here is necessary, though. She’s lived like this for too
long.”

“
I’m glad you’re behind her. She
needs that, you know?”

He looks at me and nods his head in understanding.
“Yes, I know. I’m not heartless.”

“
I know you’re not heartless.” My
phone rings as I’m cleaning the pictures. Jon grabs it out of my
bag and tosses it to me.

“
Hey, Finn,” I say, continuing with
my task.

“
What am I going to do?” he
asks.

“
About what?” I ask him, already
angry with him. “You didn’t.”

“
I messed up, Liv. Has she called
you? She knows, right?”

“
She knows the rumors she’s heard,
but I assured her they weren’t true. You didn’t leave with Natalia,
did you?” He sighs into the phone. I glance at Jon, who looks
surprised at our conversation. “You did?”

“
I was drinking,” he says, “and
she’s fun.”

“
Camille’s fun,” I remind him
dryly. “Even when you’re not drinking.”

“
I know, Livvy. Damn
it.”

“
What happened?” I ask him, praying
he doesn’t tell me he slept with her but knowing that’s what
happened.

“
We did it.” His admission still
knocks the wind out of me. I sit speechless for a few seconds,
having no idea what to say to him.

“
I can’t help you, Finn. She’s my
friend–”

“
You’re, like, family, though,” he
pleads.

“
If you were the victim here, I’d
choose your side. But I need to be there for Camille–
after
you tell her. This will
destroy
her, you realize that, right? You’ve been
dating for over two years! How could you do this?” Jon stops
assembling boxes and stands next to me, running his fingers up and
down my arm.

“
Things have kind of plateaued,” he
explains softly.

“
You know what? That’s a fine
explanation. It would have been a fine explanation to tell her that
you need to break up
before
you went out
and slept with another girl, though, Finn. But I guess a break-up
is inevitable now, so what do you care?”

“
That’s just it, I kind of
do
.”

“
Or Natalia wasn’t everything you
expected her to be,” I say sarcastically.

“
That’s not it. Not
really.”

“
Good luck convincing Camille of
that.”

“
What do I tell her?” he asks me,
clearly wanting my advice.

“
I have no idea!” I exclaim. “If
Jon cheated on me, I don’t think there’s anything he could say that
would convince me to stay with him. Ugh!” I groan loudly,
frustratedly throwing my phone on the couch.

Jon retrieves it promptly, knowing I hadn’t hung up
yet. “I’d start with an apology,” he says to Finn, “and then expect
it to not work out like you want it to.”

I go back to cleaning the pictures, wondering how
Camille will handle the news. I’m sure I’ll have to go see her
tonight, despite my plans.

“
I can’t tell you what I’d do,” Jon
responds to something Finn said, “because I’d never cheat on
Olivia. She’s everything I want. What’s the point?” He looks over
at me and sees my smile. “Yeah, well, then grovel and beg... no!
You can’t lie to her! It won’t go away,” he argues. “You can blame
it on the alcohol, but that doesn’t make the betrayal any
less.”

I set down my cleaning supplies and grab the phone
back. “She’s going to hate you, either way.”

“
Well, what can I do?” he asks me
again.

“
I don’t know. Apologize and move
on, I guess, because I’m going to tell her she can do better. She
can,
and she deserves better than this,
Finn. I’m so mad at you right now!” Jon sits quietly. “I can’t talk
to you.”

“
Livvy–”

I hang up the phone and put it in Jon’s awaiting
hand, which keeps me from throwing it somewhere in a fit of rage.
He sets it on the coffee table and puts his arms around me.

“
Idiot,” I mumble in his
shirt.

“
Oh, he’s not the first guy in
history to make this mistake,” Jon says. “And somehow, people are
forgiven for worse things every day. Maybe he’s sincere. Maybe
Camille will forgive him.”

“
Absolutely not!” I argue. “She has
to maintain her dignity. I’d be disappointed in her if she went
back to him after that.”

“
Baby, you need to encourage her to
do what she thinks is best–not what you do. You don’t know the same
Finn she knows. And–God forbid–something like that did happen with
us, it wouldn’t be a cut-and-dry scenario, and you know it. People
in love can’t just flip a switch to turn off their
feelings.”

“
It’ll never happen with us,
right?” I look up at him, needing assurance.

“
I love you, Olivia,” he says as he
replaces some errant strands of hairs. “I think you and I would
both know if things between us started going south.”

“
A simple
‘No,
I’ll never cheat on you, Livvy’
will suffice,” I
suggest.

“
It doesn’t sound like Finn planned
on cheating. I would never plan to, either. And I like to think
that I stay out of situations that could ever lead to a mistake
like that.

“
What I’m saying is I would talk to
you if I was ever in a place where the desire to cheat was there...
but I think we would both know already at that point that something
was wrong. I think we’re pretty in touch with what the other is
feeling. Don’t you?”

I nod my head in agreement.

“
Good,” he whispers, pulling me
into him and kissing me with purpose. It’s the assurance I need,
and I kiss him back, hopefully providing him with the same. My
fingers venture up the back of his shirt, and I drag my nails up
and down his spine. He shivers and groans a little, moving his own
hands to my lower back and pressing against me.

Needing a breath, I pull away and lean my forehead
into his chest. “What’s wrong?” he asks, now kneading my
shoulders.

I surprise him by moving my hand to his stomach,
then venturing down slowly to the zipper on his jeans. I hesitate,
and his fingers meet mine, helping me along.

“
I want to, but I’m not sure,” I
admit.

“
They’ll never have to
know.”

“
I don’t want to lie.”

“
They won’t ask,” he says. “We’re
careful. We’re in a private residence. We won’t get into any
trouble. I mean, who knows when we’ll have another opportunity like
this?”

“
I know.” I look up at him and
smile, touching his face with my free hand. “I know.” We finish
lowering his zipper and I unbutton his jeans. He walks backwards to
his old room, pulling me with him as we return to our
kiss.

“
Are you all right?” I say into the
phone, trying to hide my lack of breath from Camille. I snuggle
into Jon’s naked chest, his body still moist with sweat. I love how
his cologne smells, mixed with his perspiration, and I focus on my
breathing as I listen to my friend.