Olivia (39 page)

“
He did it,” she barely squeaks out
before she releases a giant sob.

“
Camille,” I begin, “calm
down.”

“
I can’t calm down. I can’t do
this, Livvy. It hurts too bad.”

“
I know it does, but you
can
do this.”

“
He is everything to me.
Everything!
”

“
He’s not everything, Camille. You
have a full life of your own.” Even as the words come out of my
mouth, I struggle to find any truth in them. She has focused all of
her attention on Finn for the last few years of her life. She’d
even planned to go to the same college he was going to in Miami
after she graduated. And she hates hot weather.

“
Do you want something to drink?”
Jon asks quietly before pressing his lips to my forehead. “I saw
some sodas in the fridge.” He starts to climb out from under
me.

“
No, don’t leave,” I beg him,
covering the mic on the phone.

“
I’ll be right back.” Standing in
the boxers he hadn’t yet removed, he picks up his t-shirt off the
floor and tosses it to me. “You always want clothes...”

“
...after...” I remind him. We
hadn’t gotten that far yet.

“
Are you with Jon?” Camille says
through sniffles as I loosely arrange his shirt over my bare
stomach and chest.

“
Yeah, but it’s okay.”

“
Am I interrupting a date?” she
asks. “I’m sorry.”

“
No, not a date, really. But we
were... never mind.”

“
Oh, no, now I’m really sorry!” she
says.

“
Camille, it’s fine,” I assure her,
knowing Jon wouldn’t agree with that statement. “
We’re just getting to the good part,”
he had joked
with a whine after the third time my phone rang. I argued that
there isn’t just one good part, and that we’d hit upon many of them
already... but I knew what he meant. I wanted it, too. “What did
Finn say?”

As Camille recounts their conversation, which
apparently involved a fair amount of groveling, begging and
apologizing, Jon brings me a Coke and sips on a Sprite of his own.
I take one drink before setting it on his desk, still listening.
After a few minutes, Jon finds my panties on the floor and starts
to slide them back up my legs.

“
No!” I whisper, once again trying
to hide my voice from Camille.

“
Yes,” Jon says as he kisses my
calves and knees along the way. “I have to get back to work. I do
have a deadline–the guys will be here at six.”

“
That doesn’t mean I have to get
dressed,” I suggest.

“
If I intend to get anything done,
you do. Unless you want to do this while she’s on the phone,” he
jokes. “I don’t have a problem with it, but she might be a little
offended.”

“
Right?” Camille says. I hadn’t
heard her question.

“
I’m sorry, Camille, one more time?
My phone cut out.” Jon laughs and kisses my stomach when he’s
successfully re-dressed me in my underwear. He climbs on top of me,
pressing against me briefly, and kisses my cheek.

“
Take your time, baby,” he whispers
in my ear as I try to concentrate on my phone conversation. “She
needs you.”

When he pulls away, we stare at one another, and my
heart speeds up again, too. I know he’s thinking the same thing I
am. “I need you, too, but she needs you more right now.”

I mouth the words ‘I love you,’ to him. He takes his
t-shirt back, touching my naked breasts lightly as he pulls
away.

“
Right?” Camille repeats. This
time, I’d heard enough to answer the question.

“
Yes, Camille, you were right to
assume he’d be faithful. You’re
absolutely
right.” I lean over the bed and grab my own shirt, putting it on as
I shuffle the phone from ear to ear.

Thirty minutes later, Camille’s older sister shows
up at her house, and my friend finds a new person to try to make
her feel better. I’d tried, but she seems inconsolable right now. I
can’t say that I blame her, either.

After I put on the rest of my clothes, I join Jon in
his mother’s room. I’m amazed at his progress in a half-hour.

“
Wow, you’ve done half of the
room?”

“
Let’s just say after finding a few
items, it was just better to grab things by the handful and shove
them in boxes. I can only imagine how mortified she’ll be when she
opens these later, realizing I’ve packed them and seen things I
never should have.”

“
Like what?” I ask.

He shakes his head and laughs a little. “I’m really
just trying to put it out of my mind. Don’t make me give them more
life by talking about them.”

“
Okay. Should I help?”

“
Why don’t you work on the
kitchen?” he suggests. “I can’t imagine there’d be anything
embarrassing in there. I hope.”

“
I’ll just keep my mouth shut and
put it in a box,” I promise. “And no judgment.”

“
Right. Come here,” he says as he
sets a box aside. I walk over and squat next to him. He kisses me,
running his hand up the back of my leg. “I do want to finish what
we started,” he says. “Maybe we’ll find some place tonight after we
get everything into storage.”

I start trying to think of where we can go, but like
always, there’s not a single place between us that would allow us
the time and space and privacy to be together. I smile and nod,
though, maintaining his level of hope.

We get a lot done, working separately, and within
another few hours, we have nearly everything in boxes. Some pillows
and linens remain, but Fred told Jon he’d bring a few more boxes
when he arrived with the truck.

“
What are you thinking about?” I
ask him as we sit together on the couch, staring at the empty wall
across from us. My fingers play with his while we relax
together.

“
You. In my room,” he says.
“Thinking about what it would be like to come home to that every
day.”

“
What would it be like?” I ask for
his thoughts.

“
It might be too much,” he laughs.
“I’m used to the deprivation,” he teases me.

“
You know, they
do
have coed housing at Columbia. I researched
it.”

“
I think you can get that idea out
of your head right now,” he says. “That’s a pipe dream that’s not
coming true in your father’s lifetime,” he admits with a
blush.

“
I’m yours when I’m eighteen,” I
tell him. “Daddy will love me either way. He’ll be happy I’m going
to a good school like Columbia, and one day, he’ll wake up and be
happy I’m in love with a good guy like you.”

His smile is sweet. “He’d be happier with you away
from me, at Yale, though,” he says meekly.

“
You’re right. But
I
wouldn’t be. I couldn’t be happier than I am with
you. No school curriculum will overshadow what we have.”

“
I just don’t think it’s bad to
consider.”

“
I am,” I say, mildly frustrated,
but not allowing myself to be angry with him. Of course I’m
considering it. I loved the campus. The people were cool. The idea
of a little more privacy is becoming more inviting every day, but
still. I just want him.

“
We’d still see a lot of each
other, either way. You’ll have the loft,” he suggests. “If you’re
mine
at eighteen, we could shack up on the
weekends.” He tickles me lightly and laughs.

“
We could shack up every
day
if I’m in Manhattan.” I elbow him in
the side.

“
I’m not sure why we’re even
discussing this,” he finally concedes. “You’re right.”

“
I want to keep your interest,” I
add with a shrug of my shoulders. “I wouldn’t want you to... you
know... cheat on me...” I look up at him and blink innocently until
he breaks, making the vow I’d been wanting him to make.

“
Never,” he says quickly. “There,
is that better?”

“
Yep!” I kiss his cheek, and he
turns his head to meet my lips with his.

“
Movie tonight?” he asks. I guess
he’s realized and accepted there’s nowhere for us to be alone
tonight, either.

“
Sounds great. You pick this
week.”

“
Okay.”

“
I need to go by Camille’s,” I tell
him. “Your friends will be here soon, right?”

“
Yeah.”

“
Are you okay?” I ask, looking
around the apartment that’s been consolidated into boxes against
walls.

“
I’m fine, Olivia,” he assures me.
“I hope when she comes back, I can help her find a much better
place. Some place with actual heat. In a better neighborhood. With
better schools. I’m not going to miss this place. I’ll miss the
people, not the place.”

“
Okay. Well, call me when you’re
ready. I’ll come pick you up. Lift with your legs,” I instruct him
as I climb off the couch. I kick off my shoe and run my toes up his
calf muscle slowly. “These strong, handsome legs–” He grabs my
wrist and pulls me back on top of him, and we both start laughing
through our kiss.

“
I’ll see you this evening,” he
says. “Tell Camille she needs to find a hobby,” he advises me. “And
tell her she can’t call you tonight, okay? I’m not stopping for her
again.” His smile lets me know he’s just kidding with
me.

“
You’ll go all the way with me in
the theater. Classy,” I mock him, raising my eyebrow.

“
Anywhere, baby,” he says with a
wink.

“
Nice. Tell your friends I said
hi.”

“
Sure. Talk to you
soon.”

After my detour at Camille’s, I finally make it
home. Dad’s sister is in the kitchen with Trey, making cookies. A
little girl is in there, too.

“
Aunt Kelly?”

“
Livvy, there you are!” she says.
“Your parents weren’t sure when you’d be home, but I was starting
to worry.”

“
I had to go by Camille’s,” I tell
her. “What are you doing here?”

“
Well, I was already babysitting my
granddaughter tonight,” she says with a smile, nodding to the
little girl, “and I thought I’d offer to sit with Trey so your mom
and dad could have a night out. They were always so nice to watch
my kids when they were little.”

“
So this is Nikki?” I ask, getting
down on my knees to seem less scary to the shy little
girl.

“
Isn’t she a cutie?” Kelly
asks.

“
She’s adorable. Hi, Nikki!” She
scoots behind the kitchen island, only peering at me from behind
the corner of it. “It’s okay, sweetie.”

“
She’ll warm up to you. Just give
it an hour or two.”

“
Oh,” I say, standing up. “Ummm...
I’m going out with Jon tonight. It’s our weekly thing.”

“
Your parents know?” she
asks.

“
It’s a weekly thing,” I repeat.
“It’s kind of understood, at this point,” I tell her.

“
They just didn’t mention it,”
Kelly says. “I was hoping you could show Nikki how to paint. You
were her age when you started.”

“
Oh, I’d love to,” I tell her
sincerely, but recognizing that it’s not just a lack of time that
would keep me from doing that. “I can’t tonight. I can get stuff
out for you, though, if you’d like.”

“
I wouldn’t know the first thing
about it,” Kelly says. “I’m just a little out of practice. I’ve had
a hard time keeping her entertained.”

I think back to when I was Nikki’s age. I was three
when I first met my parents. I remember there were two things I
loved: my teddy bear and playing dress up. “Hold that thought.” I
go downstairs and into my room, digging deep in the hope chest I’d
had since I was little. Inside is an air-tight bag containing
Teddy. He was a gift from my biological mother, but my adoptive
parents had spent years making sure my stuffed animal was in good
shape. The poor thing was covered in patches and stitches. It
looked as well-loved as I knew I always was.

I don’t hesitate getting it out of the bag, because
I know there’s a little girl upstairs who’d enjoy a few hours with
the toy. I also find a box of princess gowns and fake jewelry, and
bring those upstairs with me, too.

“
I’ve got your night planned, Aunt
Kelly,” I announce, setting everything on the casual dining room
table. She smiles at my stash of playthings. I hold the teddy bear
up to Nikki, and she immediately runs over to it, grabbing it from
me and hugging it close to her.

“
Are you sure you want to give her
that?”

“
Well, you have to get it back from
her while she’s sleeping,” I tell my aunt quietly. She nods in
understanding. “I need to go get ready.”

“
What are you doing tonight?” she
asks.

“
Going to see a movie.”

“
Which one?”

“
It’s his choice,” I tell
her.

“
You should see that new one, with
the guy from
Learn to Teach
,” she
suggests. I know there’s no way we’re seeing that one since it was
just released today. We only see movies in nearly deserted
theaters. Maybe that would change someday when we had time to
ourselves elsewhere. Maybe next year, when we have the loft to go
home to.