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INDEX

Note: All interviewees and cities are given pseudonyms, indicated by
(pseud.)

in the index
.

Aalders, Mieke (pseud.), 44, 99–100 abortion: comparisons and statistics on,

77, 172, 226–27n16, 234–35n16,

245n26, 256n10; in Netherlands, 8, 172; in United States, 53, 161

abstinence-only policy: healthcare reform and, 228n27; implementation and ef- fects of, 6, 8, 159

abstinence, parents’ emphasis on, 113, 116,

122

Adam (pseud.): eighteen as turning point for, 117; on father’s lecture, 115; on following rules, 120; girls’ pregnancy feared by, 161; on girls’ sexuality, 162–63; on prevalence of sex in culture, 165

adolescent sexuality: ABCDs of, 210–12; approach to, 2–3, 25–27; control and connection in, 19–20; culture’s role in, 13–17; dramatization vs. normal- ization of, 17–18; factors in different attitudes toward, 9–11; individualism and gender in, 21–22; medical, social science, and historical perspectives on, 11–13; overview of findings, 22–24,

203–12; paradox of, 1–3, 9–13, 17–18,

77–78, 181–82, 203–4; policy recom- mendations concerning, 203–12; use of term, 225n2.
See also
gender dilemmas; individualism; management of adoles-

cent sexuality; parents; parent-teenager relationships; psychological perspec- tives; sexual revolution; social control (discipline); teenagers

—Dutch: aspect of concern to parents, 183;
gewoon
manner of talking about, 33–36; normalization process in, 32, 41–43; parent-teen communications in, 43–45; parent-teen conflicts in, 45–47; post– sexual revolution, 6–9 (
see also
sexual revolution); relationship-based frame in, 36–38, 48–49; self-regulation frame in, 38–41; summary of, 49–51.
See also
control through connection; interde- pendent individualism; normalization of adolescent sexuality; psychology of incorporation

—U.S.: absence of positive narrative about, 73–75; aspect of concern to parents, 183; battle between sexes in, 57, 59–62, 65, 162, 236n7; conversa-

tions about contraception in, 67–68; costs of, 60–61; frames that structure, 56–57; hormone-based frame, 57–59,

65, 69; loss-of-control frame, 53–54, 57, 236n5; love and relationships in, 66–70; parental responsibility for regu- lation of, 62–64, 69; parents’ history

and ambivalence about, 53–54, 70–73;

post–sexual revolution, 3–6

adolescent sexuality—U.S. (
continued
) (
see also
sexual revolution); premarital sex rejected for, 55–56; revising view

of, 205–12; social disorder and poverty attributed to, 203–4.
See also
adversarial individualism; connection through control; dramatization of adolescent sexuality; psychology of separation

adulthood, attainment of: in autonomy, 82–83; Dutch parents on, 92–96; ideal modes of being in, 186–87; U.S. parents on, 89–92; U.S. teen measures for, 116–17

adversarial individualism: attainment of adulthood in, 89–92; concept of, 18–19, 106, 232n78, 242nn41–42;

cultural tenets underlying, 181–82; exercise of authority in, 96–99; family rules vs. teen secrets and, 108; gender differences in, 21–22; interdependent individualism compared, 82–84, 104–6, 206–8; moving beyond cultural limits of, 209–12; negative effects of, 24–25,

57, 206–7; policy implications of, 22–23; policy recommendations con- cerning, 207–8; self-control and alcohol consumption in, 84–87; self-others relationship in, 79–80; state’s constitu- tion of collectivity and, 194–99; win- ners, losers, and emphasis on, 192–94.
See also
connection through control; dramatization of adolescent sexuality; psychology of separation

age: legal adult, 82; legal alcohol consump- tion, 83, 86–87, 241n31; legal consent,

23, 232n84; legal driving, 87; sup- port for Dutch child until twenty-one, 241n33.
See also
legal issues; sexual intercourse: first experience

agreements (
afspraken
): Dutch labor agree- ments, 247n16, 247n19; use of term, 102–4.
See also
parent-teenager relation- ships: Dutch

AIDS.
See
HIV/AIDS

alcohol consumption: legal age and statis- tics, 83, 86–87, 241n31

—Dutch: parental view of, 147–49; parent- teen disagreements over, 101; self-

control in relation to, 82, 87–89; teens fudging the truth about, 150–52

—U.S.: adversarial individualism and, 84–87; cultural context of, 241n31, 241nn34–35; gender differences in parental responses to, 119–20; getting caught in, 125–26; girls’ reputation hurt by, 157; legal implications of teenage, 194, 250n41; parental collusion in, 122, 124; teen secrets about, 109, 112,

122–23, 127; unprotected sex linked to, 246n4; zero tolerance for, 98

Alexandra (pseud.), 159

American Medical Association, 228n23 Andy (pseud.), 114, 123, 165 aristocracy, absence of, 213, 258n4 Armstrong, Elizabeth, 247n14

Ashley (pseud.), 112, 118, 159 authority, exercise of: in autonomy, 83;

parent-teen battles over (U.S.), 96–99; parent-teen disagreements and consul- tations over (Dutch), 99–104

autonomy: attainment of adulthood in, 82–83, 89–96; conception and manage- ment of, 82–84; financial independence as measure of, 63–64, 65–66, 74–75, 194; ideal modes of being in, 186–87; revisiting ideas underlying, 210–12;

self-control in, 82, 84–89; sexuality as threat to and foreshadowing of, 117–18; summary of differences in, 104–6; youths’ moving out of parental home and, 83–84, 91–92, 93–94, 240–41n30, 241n38

Bailey, Beth L., 240n29

Baker, Flora (pseud.), 61, 64, 67, 72, 96, 97 Bakker, E., 255n69

Beard, Nancy (pseud.), 90, 96, 98

Beer, Helen de (pseud.), 36, 87, 94, 100 “being in love”

—Dutch (
verliefd zijn
): integration of feelings in, 36, 177; love distinguished from, 179–80; parents on, 59; as part of moral revolution, 7; percentage of boys who say they are or have been, 244n2, 256n13; precursor to sexual inter- course, 176; sex education curricula on,

233–34n10, 234n11; survey on, 8; teens’ definition of, 132, 174, 175

—U.S.: precursor to sexual intercourse, 158; sexual intercourse without, 167;

teens’ definition of, 60, 70, 164, 168 Bellah, Robert N.: on “breaking away,”

241n38; on cultural languages, 66, 231n70; on individualism, 79, 232n78, 236n8

Ben (pseud.): on eating dinner together, 143; on girls’ desire, 173; on love, 175, 176; on sex and relationships, 177; on sleepovers, 139; on smoking and drink- ing, 151; on talking with parents about sexuality, 136, 137

Berend.
See
Meier, Berend (pseud.) Bergen, J. van, 234–35n16

Bernstein, Elizabeth, 248n25, 254n66 birth control and morning-after pills: sta-

tistics on, 227n17.
See also
condom use; contraception; sex education

—Dutch use: encouragement of, 29, 30, 40,

47, 140–41; legal parameters for twelve- to sixteen-year-olds, 229–30n42; public acceptance of and access to, 7–8, 133, 169–70, 172; self-mastery linked to successful use, 13; used at time of first intercourse, 246n5

—U.S. use: barriers to, 5–6, 53, 236n1, 244n5; comparisons and increases in, 242n7; education about, 6, 159–61;

feelings of shame and, 157–58, 178 birth rate: comparisons and statistics on,

42, 204, 226–27n16, 234–35n16,

242n7; European countries vs. United States, 4; general decline of Dutch teen- age, 8, 230n43.
See also
pregnancies

Blommesteijn, Marieke, 248n22 body piercings, 99

Boskamp, Jolien (pseud.): on adulthood and moving out, 93, 94; on parent-teen disagreements, 100; sleepover negotia- tions of, 29–30, 32; on teenage drink- ing, 87–88

Boskamp, Natalie (pseud.): on maintain- ing parental trust, 133–34; on normal sexuality, 50; on parent-teen negotia- tions, 139; on sex and relationships,

132–33, 174; sleepover negotiations of,

29–30, 32

Braidotti, Rosi, 252n51

Brinkgreve, Christien, 250n43, 251n46, 258n4

Brugman, Maria, 235n17

Brumfield, Calvin (pseud.): adolescent ex- periences of, 72; hormone-based frame of, 58; on openness about sexuality, 71; on parent-teen battles and compro- mises, 97; on teenage dependence/ autonomy, 64; on teenage drinking, 85

Bureau of Youth Care (
Bureau Jeugdzorg
), Children’s Telephone (Dutch), 232n84

Campaign to End Teen Pregnancy (U.S.), 245n31

Caroline (pseud.): on conversations with parents, 113; on getting caught, 125; on girls’ sexuality, 163; on love and