Nobody's Perfect (32 page)

Intellectually, Savi thought she could trust them all, but connecting what her mind thought with what her body felt wasn’t going to be easy. The fears of the past prohibited her from trusting anyone emotionally, but she was tired of living in fear all the time. Holding her chin up, Savi took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I'm ready."

Damián took up a spot an arm's length in front of her and Karla stood beside Adam, who began to unwrap the bundle of rope.

"Eyes on me, Savita."

Savi's gaze was drawn to Damián's face. He smiled and took a step closer, invading her personal space. Her heartbeat tripped, then kicked up a notch, beating wildly. Damián's hands reached out and he stroked her shoulders and upper arms, having a surprisingly calming effect on her. Adam lifted her left elbow and positioned her hand in the air at a ninety-degree angle, as if she were waving to someone in the distance. Quickly, he looped three knots around her three fingers, leaving only the thumb and pinkie free.

Here we go
.

"Breathe,
querida
."

Damián took a breath as well and Savi mimicked him by drawing in a deep one of her own. Adam drew her hand back, nearer to her shoulder joint.

Damián's hand stroked the underside of her arm. "You have such soft, beautiful skin."

The touch of his warm fingers set forth an outbreak of gooseflesh, followed by warning bells. When her nipples hardened, she reached with her free hand to cover her chest, but he entwined his fingers in hers and returned her hand to her side.

"Breathe, Savita."

She squirmed in discomfort, then did as he'd reminded her. At least he didn't point out her body's traitorous betrayal—or take advantage of her.

Adam's voice brought her back into the scene. "This technique is called the claw." He wrapped the rope close to her armpit, pulling her wrist closer to her upper arm. Her fingers curled into a claw-like pose. "Let me know immediately if the ropes get too tight or you feel any tingling or coldness anywhere."

Well, her skin was tingling, but not from the rope. Adam's concern for her comfort helped her relax a bit more. She nodded.

Karla whispered in her ear, "It's best that you give him verbal responses and address him as Sir. Good practice for when you come back to play in the club."

Savi certainly didn't feel comfortable calling Adam "Sir," so she just said, "Yes, I understand."

Adam grinned at her blatant omission, but went to work. One end of the rope began to fly as Adam looped it under and around her forearm and upper arm more quickly. Savi flexed her fingers and tried to move her hand to see how much mobility she had left.

"Are you in any discomfort?"

Adam's question stilled her movements. He seemed so attuned to her. "No. I'm fine." She continued to resist calling him Sir. The gentle tug of the rope began to relax her, but she wasn't worried about fighting them off, if she needed to. She still had a free hand and two unrestrained legs, but they had done a very good job of making her feel calm rather than threatened. Maybe Karla's presence helped, too.

Adam continued to tie the rope, then pulled the end through once more and gave it a tug. He dropped his hands to his sides and came to stand beside Damián, but his gaze remained on her. "How are you doing, hon?"

"Okay…Sir." Now where had that come from? The man somehow just commanded respect.

"Good girl."

The beginnings of panic clawed at her throat. Hearing the words from Adam didn't have the same effect as when Damián had said them to Patti.

Damián seemed to be aware of her distress and stepped even closer. His body brushed against hers and he locked gazes with her, grounding her. "Deep breath, Savi." He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back through her T-shirt as he turned to explain to Adam that those words were a trigger.

Damián seemed a little upset, but she quickly realized he wasn't angry with her. Being held so securely, she was surprised to find her body relaxing against him.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, hon. Damián told me about your triggers and I'm just so used to saying that to Karla and the other subs, I forgot."

Savi didn't want to upset Adam. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. A Dom needs to consider everything that might go down in a scene before he starts—and definitely needs to remember a sub's known triggers. You have my sincerest apology."

Damián pulled back and glared at Adam, still displeased with him. She didn't want to come between these two.

"It's not Adam's fault. It's just two silly words, really. I shouldn't let them bother me."

Damián turned his focus back to her and brushed a loose strand of hair from her forehead. "Anything that has that kind of effect on you isn't silly. Don't negate your feelings. If you feel something, own it."

Validate your feelings. How many textbooks had she read that in, and yet she'd spent a lifetime tamping down her feelings. Of course, she wasn't going to change that mindset in one evening. Damián seemed to sense that and just took her in his arms again. Her eyes began to burn. She'd never had any man other than maybe Father Martine consider her feelings to be all that important. It was comforting…and made her want to cry, for some reason. Not that she could. She never cried.

Savi resisted the urge to lay her head against his shoulder. She let him continue to stroke her back. So gentle. Memories of how he'd touched her in the beach cave flitted around the edges of her brain, but she pushed them away. Those images were too painful, knowing she could never have that with him again.

For now, though, she was content to just feel safe in Damián's arms.

An amazingly safe place to be.

Chapter Twelve

Damián could kick Dad for not being more careful about the known triggers Damián had shared with him after he'd heard what Savi wanted to do. He'd never known the man to be that careless in a scene with a sub.

Adam cleared his throat. "Son, I think Savi might be more comfortable having you bind her other arm."

Damián pulled away from Savi, took a step back, and looked at Dad. Whoa! Dad just winked at him. Fuck it all. He should have known the man's mind was like a steel trap. No way would he have forgotten something as important as that trigger. Clearly, he'd set up a way to get Damián into the scene with Savi.

When Dad had called him a couple hours ago, he'd no idea what was up until he'd gotten to the club. Learning what the plan was—or what he thought it was—Damián had informed Dad what he knew about Savi's triggers, not that he'd even begun to discover them all. Then Dad had come into the kitchen to get him and Karla and he'd walked into the great room to find Savi standing, waiting, at the Shibari station, and all thought had left his head.

Damián couldn't get enough of the sight of her. When he'd gotten to touch her a little while ago, he thought he'd be content with that. Now he wanted more. So much more. More than he could ever hope to have.

The thought of binding her with the ropes, touching her again, just about brought him to his knees.

But had they established the level of trust necessary yet? What had changed from last night, when she'd seemed sickened by the sight of him? He thought he'd seen tears in her eyes from across the room and couldn't get away fast enough. Yet, today she'd let Dad restrain her arm—and they were relative strangers.

Damián cupped her chin and turned her face toward him. She didn't flinch or pull away. Progress. "Would you let me bind your other arm, Savi?"

Her body stiffened and he hid his disappointment as he prepared himself to hear her say no. When she lifted her free hand, he expected her to push him away, but she turned her hand palm upward and offered herself to him in the sweetest gesture he'd ever seen.

Damián didn't want to waste time analyzing what had made her ready and willing, but he hoped he was able to get through this scene without losing it. His emotions were too close to the surface right now.

If only she'd asked him to do something he was better trained to do. Shibari had always been a little too…tame for him, so he hadn't spent a lot of time working on his technique. He had learned from watching Dad and Marc. Even Luke had started showing off some of his growing skill sets lately. Hell, if the Baby Dom could do it, how hard could it be? Luckily, this was a technique Dad had worked with him on before.

Dad was here, too, and would help walk him through it if he made a mess of things.

"Karla needs to get off her feet. If you'll excuse us, we're going to sit over here and watch."

"I'm fine, Adam…oh!" Dad scooped a squealing Karla into his arms and carried her about six feet away from Damián and Savi, then sat down on the loveseat and eased Karla into his lap.

Damn the man. Dad probably had orchestrated this entire scene right from the beginning. Damián shook his head and turned his attention back to Savi. Her smile wavered. He needed to act soon or she'd withdraw her hand. Bending down, he picked up a bundle of dyed silk rope and began untwisting it.

Shaking it loose, he took the twenty-foot length in both hands and doubled it, then brought it up and over Savi's head and around her neck. He let the ends fall over her breasts and wished she wasn't wearing the long-sleeved T-shirt, but wasn't going to let it deter him from enjoying the hell out of this scene.

Damián took the rope and massaged it against her neck and shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"Preparing you for the rope."

"I'm already half roped. Besides, Adam didn't do that." She bit her lower lip and glanced over at Dad and Karla.

"Eyes on me, Savita." The pulse point in her neck throbbed against his fingertips. "Every Dom has his own technique." He didn't want to tell her Adam had been treating her as if she were a demonstration model, not a lover. Not that Damián could exactly call himself a lover, either. Hearing him say that sure as hell would freak her out. Of course, she hadn't seen Dad and Karla in one of their incredible sensual scenes yet. She probably wouldn't until after the baby came.

Damián worked his hands and ropes up the column of her neck, until the pads of his thumb were resting on the pulse points just below her jaw. They pounded against his thumbs like those of a frightened rabbit. With the rope entwined in his hands, he let the tips of his fingers move into the hair at the back of her neck. As he massaged her scalp, she closed her eyes and released a sigh. Her eyes bolted open again. Was she surprised at her response, or worried she'd disobeyed by not keeping her eyes on him?

He reached out and placed his thumbs over her eyelids and closed them, holding them down until he was reasonably certain she would keep them closed. Seeing her get into the scene like that was a great turn-on. She furrowed her eyebrows, but he continued to massage the rope into her scalp. She emitted a soft moan. "That's it,
bebé
. Just relax. Feel. Become one with the rope."

Savi's head lolled back. So soft; malleable steel in his hands. He hadn't expected her to be so responsive, given how tightly she'd held the reins on her body to this point. He wished he could continue like this for hours, but he didn't have that long before Savi's brain would kick in and she'd probably kick him away, so he slowly withdrew his hands.

Her eyes flickered open and he saw her pupils were dilated. He wondered if it was from arousal, or just that she'd had her eyes closed. Before the relaxed mood was gone, he reached for the end of the rope and fashioned a double coin knot, then took Savi's hand in his.

Her fingers were held rigid, but she didn't pull away. She lifted her gaze to his face and he stared into the blue depths of her eyes. He took the knot and slipped the center over her middle finger, then slid the other two fingers into the other holes and slid it down her fingers to her knuckles. He didn't want to think about how similar it was to slipping a wedding ring on a woman's finger, because he'd never experience that with any woman. It sure felt like something he wanted to experience—with Savi.

Damián walked around behind her and drew her hand back to her shoulder. When he encountered resistance, he massaged the tension from her upper arm. "Don't fight it, Savi."

Don't fight me, either.

Damián leaned forward and breathed in the heady scent of her hair, then regained control of himself and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. She moaned again and his dick throbbed in response. He went to work completing the claw tie, glancing over at the one Dad had done a couple times to make sure his was as good. Not half bad. He straightened out one of the double lines of rope that had crisscrossed each other and stood back.

He looked over at Dad who smiled slightly and nodded. Karla looked a bit mesmerized by the whole scene, probably wishing she could get Adam to do a Shibari scene with her, but he barely did more than hair corsets with her these days, so worried he might hurt the baby. How either of them was going to survive the next few months was beyond Damián's comprehension.

Regaining focus, he walked around to face Savi. Her pose with her hands in that position reminded him of when Teresa and José had played cops and robbers and one of them would be held at gunpoint. Yeah, memories of his niece and nephew might keep him from getting too turned on by her.

The T-shirt now strained against her breasts, pulling them higher. Damián wasn't sure what he might have done if they were alone. Neither of them was ready to find out. Good thing they had chaperones.

He walked closer. "How are you feeling?"

She blinked. "Fine."

"Describe fine to me."

"Maybe fine isn't the right word." She nibbled on her lower lip before answering. "I feel very vulnerable."

"I appreciate your honesty. What are you afraid I might do?"

"Tou…" She cleared the frog from her throat. "Touch me."

"You know how much I'd love to touch you, Savi, but I won't take advantage of your vulnerability. Can you trust me?"

"I'm t-trying."

"Thank you,
mi sueño
." Damián glanced down at her breasts, her the nipples protruding against her shirt. His balls tightened. Fuck. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. Like it or not, her body was responding. He needed to end this scene before he scared her away.