Never Without Hope (Sacred Vows Book 1) (29 page)

Chapter 33

As I brushed my hair—and now fully clothed—I examined my eyes in the mirror. I definitely looked happy, like a woman in love. After an intense emotional experience like I’d just had with my husband, I knew concealing the glow would prove impossible.

Not that I wanted to hide anything.

Let Tony see me happy. Maybe that would put his mind at ease. Maybe his wife would leave me alone.

I just wished that she would forgive Tony and that they
’d find faith in God. Without Him in their lives their marriage would probably never heal. I doubted they’d had a very good foundation to begin with, but without the Lord I didn’t know how married couples survived, let alone thrived.

It was hard enough to make it work even with the Lord in our lives.

“Ready, hon?” James popped his head into the bathroom. He gave me a wolf whistle.

I rolled my eyes.

“You look great. Now put that brush down and let’s get out of here. We need to get this over with.” He took the hairbrush from me and nuzzled my neck.

I laughed and elbowed him gently.
“Don’t get me started.”

He backed away, hands up, a teasing smile adorning his face.
“Then I’ll save those plans for later. No need to get all aggressive on me.”

Following a cat-like purr, I replied though pouty lips,
“Oh, but I thought you liked it when I took control.”

“
You know me well.” He winked at me, just like Tony had at first—probably to let me know he was interested. I’d been so naïve to be flattered by him.

What really creeped me out, though, was my husband never winked.

That sobering thought chilled me to the marrow. We were about to see my former lover in person in less than fifteen minutes. How would I feel when I saw him? Would my pulse pound? Would I miss Tony? Have flashbacks of sex? Pity him? Burst out crying from the horror of it all?

I had no idea, and that reality made my stomach cramp. I needed to remain calm and keep my thoughts and emotions under control. Somehow. But how?

“I’m scared, James.” I bit my lip and tried to not cry. I’d done way too much sad weeping lately. I wanted to stick with happy tears, with ecstatic crying. No more expressing tears of anguish from remorse or pain.

He gave me a gentle squeeze.
“Relax, Babe. I’ll be praying for you. For us. You’ll do fine. Just share from your heart. Okay?”

Nodding, I sucked in a cleansing breath.
I can do this, I can do this.

“
Stop worrying. God’s got you in the palm of His hand. He won’t abandon you,” James touched my cheek, “and neither will I.”

My knees weakened at the love pouring from his heart toward me; the emotion clearly visible in his eyes, his smile. What more could a woman ask for?

I’d been thinking that a lot lately. But then I reflected on how I didn’t deserve his love, and how I’d been so selfish to think of my needs first. The same guilt feelings stabbed at my heart, so I forced my thoughts elsewhere.

I had to think positively or I
’d fall apart in front of Tony, something I dreaded doing and earnestly prayed would not happen. I’d already suffered enough humiliation from the affair to last me for many years to come. And I didn’t want his wife to see me lose control either. She hated me, and if I broke down, it might justify her loathing of me—at least in her mind.

*****

James pulled into the parking lot. I spied Tony’s truck. My heart hammered so viciously that I thought I’d pass out as I clung to James’s arm to keep myself upright. He wrapped his arm around my waist for extra support.

We stepped inside the building and passed through metal detectors. A female guard spot-checked us for weapons before the male security guard let us enter the waiting area.

I peered around, but didn’t see them. A male court clerk assisted us in checking in, then guided my husband and me to court room A.

I recognized the shrill sound of her voice before I saw her. I sensed Tony
’s wife’s foul mood, and could almost taste it as it hung heavy in the air. Tony sat with his elbows on a table and his head buried in his hands. Pity for him and his situation washed over me like a sudden rainstorm. I swallowed hard.

His wife hissed as she poked him.
“They’re here.”

Tony jerked up and straightened in his chair, but refused to look my way. His leg jiggled under the table. I realized then that his wife had probably put him up to the whole thing. While she gloated and alternately glared at me, Tony looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and hide from the shame of it all.

Closing my eyes, I said a quick prayer for them both.

I sensed James
’s warm, reassuring hand on my back.

Without looking in their direction, I felt the anger and lethal looks coming from his wife. None from Tony, though. He acted like a beaten dog, weak and defenseless. Any respect I
’d had for him before today fizzled out completely at the sight of him in such a defeated state.

The sound of something slamming made me jolt in my seat. I peered at the object of that noise and noted Tony
’s wife had slapped my book on the table. I cringed and looked away. It was bad enough when you had people you liked examining your “baby”, but to have someone who clearly hated you reading your life’s work was particularly unnerving.

“
All rise.” The bailiff announced the judge’s entry to the room, and we stood. The bailiff asked us to raise our hands and pledge to tell the truth. We all said “I do” except for my husband, because he was not a party to the proceedings. He was asked to move to the back of the room.

I peered back at James
, who gave me a confident smile. James then glanced at Tony and his wife with a perturbed-looking frown on his face. No doubt he wanted to protect me from the emotional damage he sensed coming.

The proceedings began with Tony presenting his case. The lies he told made my mouth fall open like a marionette
’s. I glanced back at James. He gave me a reassuring nod to let me know he didn’t believe the lies. Then he bowed his head as if to commence praying.

“
You may now present your case, Ms. Williams.” The judge nodded at me.

“
Thank you, Your Honor. May I begin by apologizing to the petitioners? I’d like to say that I’m sorry for any grief I caused your family. It was a mistake. I’m very sorry…and…” My voice grew hoarse, so I cleared my throat of emotion. “…I just want to move on, to go on with my life. I want to be left alone.”

“
So you deny the allegations?” The judge frowned at me.

“
Yes, Your Honor. I merely drove by one day to see if they had moved, so I wouldn’t have to worry about running into them at the store. Unfortunately, that happened anyway because it’s such a small town. But I didn’t follow them or call or anything. The only time I contacted her after this whole mess started was in response to a few e-mails she wrote to me. I even stopped that.”

“
So why are you in court today? Do you think they would waste their time bringing this matter to the court’s attention if there was no merit to the petition?”

“
Yes, Your Honor. I do. I believe they despise me. His wife has even said she would do everything she could to damage my reputation in this town. She said I hadn’t suffered enough. I believe this court hearing is just one more manipulation by her to make me suffer. I need to work to pay my bills. If my reputation is slandered and I lose clients, then it will hurt my finances and I could lose my home. I’ve already given up my writing career because of what happened.”

Tony shot a look at his wife, then glanced over at me. Guilt poured from his eyes. He scanned my face for mere seconds, then quickly turned away and stared at his hands.

Tony’s wife muttered, “Tony lost his promotion because of you…”

“
Do you have anything to add, Ms. Perotta?”

Tony
’s wife stood and glared at me. “Yes, I do.” She pointed. “This woman has ruined my life. She screwed my husband in our truck and in our home numerous times.” His wife grabbed my book and lifted it from the table. “She even wrote a book about my husband. She lured him in by having him read it, then turned him on with the romantic scenes. She is a manipulative, lying witch and—”

“
Stick to the facts, Ms. Perotta. This is not the venue for hashing out the particulars. Ms. Williams stated she clearly has no interest in harassing you or your husband, so I don’t see what the issue is here.”

“
Your Honor, the issue is that
now
I have to divorce my cheating husband because of that woman.” She sprayed me with spittle as she finished her sentence.

“
This is not divorce court, so I can’t address that issue. Do you have anything further to add?” The judge glanced at Tony and his wife. They both shook their heads no.

“
What about you, Ms. Williams?”

“
I have no further comments. I just want to be left alone.”

“
Very well then.” The judge smacked his gavel. “Since the plaintiff has failed to prove their case, the charges will all be dropped. Good day.”

The judge rose
, and we all stood. He then left the courtroom.

Tony
’s wife barreled past me and stomped out the door.

I collected my purse and turned at the sound of Tony
’s voice. “I am very sorry, Sir, for my relationship with your wife. I was wrong. Please forgive.”

My husband eyed Tony warily, but accepted his hand.
“I will choose to forgive you. I have completely forgiven Hope.”

“
That is good.” Tony shifted his feet and turned to walk out.

“
But please, be a man and get Hope’s book back from your wife.”

Tony turned toward my husband.
“Is not possible.”

“
But you have no need of it anyway, and my wife should have the book returned to her. It’s her property.” My husband’s volume rose. Just a little.

Tony quickly glanced over at me, a flicker of longing in his gaze that was quickly replaced by sadness and resignation. He returned to my husband and muttered,
“I am sorry, but I cannot.”

His
wife stood in the hallway and growled at Tony through the open door. “Are you coming, or do you want to walk back?”

With a sigh, Tony shoved his hands into his pockets and slinked off like the coward he was. I wondered what I
’d ever seen in him as I stood and received the embrace my husband offered the moment Tony slipped from the room.

“
I tried to keep my cool, Hope. It was hard, though.” He kissed my forehead while simultaneously rubbing my back with his palm, making lazy circles over my blouse.

“
You did good.” I squeezed him gently.

“
Same with you. I do have a question, though.”

“
Hmmm?” I stepped back and gazed up at him.

James
’s eyes flickered with amusement. “What did you see in that guy? I’m way better looking than he is.”

My shoulders relaxed and I emitted a tense giggle.
My husband’s body was more built and stronger than Tony’s, so I knew that’s what he meant. “I never said he was gorgeous.”

“
Well, at least now I’ve met the man. And he did apologize.” James paused, then chuckled.

“
What?” I couldn’t imagine what he found humorous.

He kissed the tip of my nose.
“I’m laughing because I no longer envision this Hulk Hogan-type perfect man in my mind. He’s just a mousy man with an Italian accent.”

I couldn
’t help smirking. Tony was far from mousy in bed, but I wasn’t going to comment on that issue. I didn’t need to defend him. Tony had a nice build and a charming personality, but since I’d seen another side of him, one so weak and pathetic, he no longer appealed to me. In fact, I no longer felt drawn to him at all.

That had to be God.

Truth was, my husband was a far greater man than Tony would ever be. Not only because James loved the Lord and was man enough to forgive me. But also because he remained committed to our marriage despite my bad choices. My heart swelled with love anew for my husband until I thought it would burst.

The moment we stepped out of the building
—walking hand in hand—and found Tony and his wife standing by his truck arguing about me, my bubble of joy deflated.

His wife railed on him, swearing and cussing and telling him that he was a worthless man and a neglectful father. She even slapped him a few times
saying, “how dare you try to help that bitch”, taunting him like an insane woman as she leaned into his face and cackled.